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aNYthing
Abrasive Cockhead @ Large
Registered: Dec 2005
Location: Near metric fuck-a-ton of high-end gear
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Mar-02-2012 19:09
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Meat187
Diese scheiß Katze
Registered: Dec 2007
Location: The Night's Plutonian Shore
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quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
here goes. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.
The characters are 15 year old thugs that you start to hate right of the get go. The premise of aliens falling out of the sky is laughable, but let's just say that an organic life form survived falling through the atmosphere, clearly burning up (as it appears as a falling star in the shot). So, let's say that organic life form crash landed through a car roof, survived, and went on to menace the shittiest neighborhood in london, only to be immediately killed with a primitive earthling slightly sharp object. So, still with me? YOu're an alien who can travel extereme distances that even humans can't cover and you just manage to crash land on a planet, only to have your flesh that can sustain extremely high temperatures, be suseptible to sharp objects (car sheet metal notwithstanding). Still with me?
Now, I had a pretty serious blunt before and still had a hard time with that one. And this is just the first 5 minutes of the movie. Need I go on?
Ok, how about this. Why don't you help me see the light, much like those blind alien creatures that can only smell. Right? Because one thing everyone knows you don't need to travel in space is vision. Right?
Anywho, list the funniest moments of the movie. I'll settle for say... 3. Fuck it. 2. Ok, 1 if you're struggling.
I'll check back in a while.
Let me save you the trouble - it was not funny. it was not scary. it was utter shit. there was nothing compelling about any of the characters. the only characters I rooted for was the police.
If your mind has progressed past puberty, this movie will offend every sense you may have, mostly your intelligence (assuming you have any to see what a shit it is). |
OK, at first I was just rejecting your opinion with harsh words because I disagree. But now I can legitimately say that you have absolutely no clue about movies.
___________________
Then stop coloring and visit Meat187's mix archive!
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Mar-02-2012 19:43
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GoSpeedGo!
no more Mr. Nice Guy
Registered: May 2006
Location: Eisenstein's laboratory
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quote: | Originally posted by aNYthing
See, the movie was so shitty, it did not even warrant an effort to put down anything more than that.
Ok, let me work up the energy to give it an earnest one...
here goes. POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD.
The characters are 15 year old thugs that you start to hate right of the get go. The premise of aliens falling out of the sky is laughable, but let's just say that an organic life form survived falling through the atmosphere, clearly burning up (as it appears as a falling star in the shot). So, let's say that organic life form crash landed through a car roof, survived, and went on to menace the shittiest neighborhood in london, only to be immediately killed with a primitive earthling slightly sharp object. So, still with me? YOu're an alien who can travel extereme distances that even humans can't cover and you just manage to crash land on a planet, only to have your flesh that can sustain extremely high temperatures, be suseptible to sharp objects (car sheet metal notwithstanding). Still with me?
Now, I had a pretty serious blunt before and still had a hard time with that one. And this is just the first 5 minutes of the movie. Need I go on?
Ok, how about this. Why don't you help me see the light, much like those blind alien creatures that can only smell. Right? Because one thing everyone knows you don't need to travel in space is vision. Right?
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Stop trying to prove this movie sucks by using your own shitty "real world" logic. That's not how films, or any kind of fiction, work.
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Mar-02-2012 20:31
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aNYthing
Abrasive Cockhead @ Large
Registered: Dec 2005
Location: Near metric fuck-a-ton of high-end gear
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quote: | Originally posted by Meat187
Can't be bothered. Criticizing the basic premise is just dumb, the movie creates a situation with certain rules and just not accepting that has nothing to do with criticism. It's simply narrow-mindedness.
Besides, the movie is funny as fuck, thoroughly entertaining and quite original in bringing ghetto kids and aliens together. Claiming these qualities are just not there shows that you are simply not equipped with the basic understanding and experience that's necessary to have a meaningful opinion about any movie. |
right. put your tidy whities back on and quit waving them so proudly.
quote: |
"Attack the Block" is the other alien-invasion movie opening today, the lousy one, the one from Britain. In Britain, it's probably just a regular bad movie, but here - with accents that are barely comprehensible and in-jokes about council flats, not to mention a swerving handheld camera and some of the cheapest effects since "Night of the Lepus" - it's surprising this thing ever got released.
Some unsolicited advice: If you're going to show people imperiled by aliens, make us care whether said people live or die. Or at the very least don't make your audience actively root for the aliens by showing your ostensible heroes mugging a young woman at knifepoint in the movie's first scene. I imagine you must think I'm exaggerating, but no. The characters we're expected to engage with, the people for whom our rooting interest is simply assumed, are violent street thugs. Sorry, I'm with the aliens on this one.
"Attack the Block" is only 88 minutes long, but just as time slows down for airplane turbulence and hits fast forward at the first sign of fun, the minutes here stretch like chewing gum, but like magical chewing gum that you hold between your teeth and need a 50-foot arm just to test it. It felt like days in there. Or weeks, minus the hunger. And all the good parts? They were in the coming-attractions trailer, except in context they didn't seem like good parts but like less-bad parts.
Point being, if I weren't your crash-test dummy, and proud of it, I'd have walked out within 10 minutes, and that's only because I like to give movies the benefit of the doubt. Witless, boring, bad ... But no, don't read any more about this, you get the idea. Let's stop right here and never mention this again.
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/artic...L#ixzz1nzrAqsED |
that about summs it up.
___________________
Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate
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Mar-02-2012 21:21
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