speaking of fostering relationships with colleagues...

i've recently moved to a new job across town. gone from a team of 20 or so to a building with maybe an extra 100, so there's lots more people to meet and greet etc which is great. however, the ratio of bumholes to toilets has plummeted.

now, im a private shitter. given my alcohol abuse in recent years, things can get a bit out of control and unpleasant for all concerned. so, i value privacy. can't miss that next big promotion coz the boss was stuck in a stall next to you; a previous supervisor's quote was "i don't know what you've been eating, but that was fucking horrendous".

anyway, while the number of staff has increased 5-fold, the number of bathroom options hasn't actually increased at all. luckily, there's one of those retard loos for people that need to roll their chair in. or you know, for people that want a bit of personal space while they unblock their personal space.

so, yesterday it got to Unblock O'clock, and i headed to my private retreat. looked at the little red/green toggle, and green told me it was time to unleash the fury. open the door and walk in...

...and there's a female colleague, standing up with pants round ankles, attending to personal cleanup duties. i say SHIT! she says SHIT! im not sure whether she was going back to front, front to back, inserting any preventative measures or scrunching/folding, but perhaps could infer the standing/sitting question.

got right the fuck out of there, hung around like a pervert to say sorry, and am now trying to plan all my excursions to the shitter so they fall in the comfort of my own home.

TLDR: PKC's new workplace might dub him the Cubicle Bandit.

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LOL



Our staff bathroom is right on the unit, just next to the nursing station, which is the busiest/highest traffic area on the floor. I never shit there.

Everyone knows the key is to only enter or exit the cubicle for shitting when the rest of the room is totally empty. Even if that means sitting there waiting for someone to take a piss and leave even when you're completely done because they entered the room just as you were about to leave. You can commit whatever heinous deed you please provided you're safely anonymous behind the cubicle door.

It's remarkable that 99% of the people in our company follow this unwritten rule.

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> Terra Nova [Modern Progressive Trance]
> Rough & Ready [Modern Trance]
>A Different Energy [Good Modern Trance]
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quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN

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quote:

Originally posted by Lira Come on, we won't make (too much) fun of you if you say you can make friends in the fox hunting group you go golfing with (Seriously, though, I'm curious)

Fox Hunting, Gentleman's Clubs, Freemasons, Knights Templar, Knights Hospitaller, etc

Places one feel comfortable to shit at, you know

quote:

Originally posted by pkcRAISTLIN open the door and walk in... ...and there's a female colleague

This is the bit that actually surprised me the most. Are unisex restrooms the norm in developed English speaking countries?

I don't think I've ever worked in a place with just one toilet, except for a really small office that had its own secret cubicle (but there was a proper restroom within walking distance)... But I always see people chatting casually in films/series/what have you.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J It's remarkable that 99% of the people in our companyWestern(ish) countries follow this unwritten rule.

Same in every single place I've worked, actually.

quote:

Originally posted by Lews Fox Hunting, Gentleman's Clubs, Freemasons, Knights Templar, Knights Hospitaller, etc Places one feel comfortable to shit at, you know

Speaking of these people, I was shocked to find out in my late twenties that, not only do Freemasons still exist, they still don't allow women in their ranks. I mean, that's a bit extreme to avoid the sort of cubicle banditry PKC engaged in

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Disabled toilets are always unisex, due to the low proportion of people requiring them.

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Mixes:
> Back To Deep [Deep Trippy House]
> Terra Nova [Modern Progressive Trance]
> Rough & Ready [Modern Trance]
>A Different Energy [Good Modern Trance]
> The Edale Mix [Panoramic Beats]

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Everyone knows the key is to only enter or exit the cubicle for shitting when the rest of the room is totally empty. Even if that means sitting there waiting for someone to take a piss and leave even when you're completely done because they entered the room just as you were about to leave. You can commit whatever heinous deed you please provided you're safely anonymous behind the cubicle door. It's remarkable that 99% of the people in our company follow this unwritten rule.

Sage advice.

In my previous building, there was a toilet with one Urinal and two cubicles. I notice one cubicle is occupied and got in to the other. At this point we're both trying to silent shit for fear that one of us lets rip and then we cross each other and have an awkward moment like PKC, where the chipotle burrito from two hours ago headed straight to jail without passing go.

While we're both doing our best to keep it quiet, someone walks in to use the urinal, I realize form the clanking of hit boots and pocket chain, it's the front desk security guard. He proceeds to piss, but lets rip a massive fart that reverberates around the tiny toilet and burst out laughing, with a hint of pride, knowing there's two people directly downwind of him, with his lingering guff between us and the doorway.

Nearly immediately, I hear the zip of trousers, and the person in the cubicle next to me exit while the guard must still be finishing his piss.

I look through the gap on my door, and it's the CEO, and owner of the entire fucking building. He death stares the security guard as he washes his hands and walks out.

Within the month, the guard had been let go. I can just imagine the reason he gives when interviewing for a new job. "So, why did you leave your last position?". I ripped a fart so potent that the owner of the building fired me.

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Everyone knows the key is to only enter or exit the cubicle for shitting when the rest of the room is totally empty. Even if that means sitting there waiting for someone to take a piss and leave even when you're completely done because they entered the room just as you were about to leave. You can commit whatever heinous deed you please provided you're safely anonymous behind the cubicle door.

People turn into shit ninjas when behind those doors, lurking in the shadows, their presence unseen and unheard, yet felt via other senses. Beware their lethal SBD gas bombs.

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(~)

I lost a family member recently and im killing myself for it, I had so many opportunities to be so much better to that person and I took it all for granted being a selfish prick. U guys may be cvnts but you're no piece of shit like I am.

Poor security guard

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J Disabled toilets are always unisex, due to the low proportion of people requiring them.

Oh, right, when there's a third door! I'm so used to seeing a cubicle for the disabled inside ordinary toilets (which always come in pairs) that I completely forgot this is also an alternative

Paul should keep in mind it could've been worse. Much worse:

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quote:

Originally posted by MSZ I lost a family member recently and im killing myself for it, I had so many opportunities to be so much better to that person and I took it all for granted being a selfish prick. U guys may be cvnts but you're no piece of shit like I am.

We all make mistakes and fail to reach our ideals, mate, don't be so hard on yourself

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[ I May Upload Something Someday ]