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TranceAddict Forums > Main Forums > Chill Out Room > Does Australia Suck?
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EgosXII
Aphorism



Registered: Apr 2007
Location:



quote:
These were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, hehehehe

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia ? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? ( UK ).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? ( USA )

Aepends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks? ( Sweden )

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ? ( UK )

A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? ( USA )

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not
... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q:Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA )

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? ( UK )
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do...
__________________________________________________

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is
Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia ? ( UK )
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________

Q:Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round? ( Germany )

A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers.
Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q:Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. ( USA )

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. ( USA )

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? ( USA )

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________

Qo you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? ( France )

A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )

A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first


___________________
-Everything I Say is a Lie-

Old Post Nov-24-2011 00:17  Netherlands
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Sushipunk
Flickering, I roam



Registered: Sep 2006
Location: Chateau Verdafloor

Drop bears


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Old Post Nov-24-2011 00:22  Australia
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ChemEnhanced
ƒ¶ƒåƒÓƒÛƒnƒéƒßƒåƒnƒÚƒÕƒÞƒ



Registered: Mar 2005
Location: Milton, ON Canada

So have the Australian ladies survived Tiger Woods' visit to Australia?


___________________
quote:
Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance.


Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

Old Post Nov-24-2011 01:02  Canada
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EgosXII
Aphorism



Registered: Apr 2007
Location:

So apparently Australia does not suck on a relative scale. At all. In fact, we dominate most first world countries.

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/3726692.html


___________________
-Everything I Say is a Lie-

Old Post Dec-14-2011 01:12  Netherlands
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narcism
faithless fangirl



Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Let go of my mind

My irish roomie wanted to know how long it takes to drive from Melbourne to Perth
My response: You're crazy

Old Post Dec-14-2011 02:03  Malta
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Lira
Ancient BassAddict



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasília, Brazil

Google says it takes less than 2 days!


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Indiana Clones Upcoming Sets
[ I May Upload Something Someday ]

Old Post Dec-14-2011 02:09  Brazil
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narcism
faithless fangirl



Registered: Jul 2002
Location: Let go of my mind

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
Google says it takes less than 2 days!


of continuous driving, non-stop perhaps

Old Post Dec-14-2011 03:29  Malta
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Renzo
where am i



Registered: Jan 2004
Location:

More coffee tables

Old Post Dec-14-2011 04:26 
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Yohan
Champion of Deep&Nu-disco



Registered: Jan 2004
Location: Kitchener, Ont, Soviet Canuckistan

i'm looking for a cute aussie to marry me so that i can immigrate to oz

Old Post Dec-14-2011 04:26  Canada
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srussell0018
Chaostician



Registered: Dec 2006
Location: Blumsberg

quote:
Originally posted by Yohan
i'm looking for a cute aussie to marry me so that i can immigrate to oz


http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...fo&userid=67330


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by OrangestO
This isn't about physics, this is about waves.

Old Post Dec-14-2011 04:28  Ireland
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Lira
Ancient BassAddict



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasília, Brazil

quote:
Originally posted by narcism
of continuous driving, non-stop perhaps



The adrenaline rush should keep you awake


___________________
Indiana Clones Upcoming Sets
[ I May Upload Something Someday ]

Old Post Dec-14-2011 04:40  Brazil
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Lilith
Meowsies!



Registered: Nov 2000
Location: Maximum Security twilight home for cats

quote:
Originally posted by EgosXII
So apparently Australia does not suck on a relative scale. At all. In fact, we dominate most first world countries.

http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/3726692.html


Its slightly offset in that everything is inordinately expensive...
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2011-12-...-report/3730444

...and dont even get started on the taxation system here

Old Post Dec-14-2011 06:23 
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