|Originally posted by Silky Johnson |
I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation.
It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old.
Awww that sucks
Some people look for greatness, but it's not for everyone, you know.
Most people just want to have a family and see that they turn out allright, it's a pretty basic human instinct, and for her knowing that she won't see you off as far as she had wanted might have been a big contributor to her unhappiness.
I could at least tell that was something that went through my mothers head when she was going through the worst chemo with a baseball-sized tumor in her chest (recovered against odds), so maybe it's applicable in to your mothers situation also. I think maybe something that would comfort her would be hearing about how easy your life is going, and that you're happy, like almost kinda overdo it. That's what all moms want. That they're kids make it.
Anyways, sorry if I'm poking my nose in where it doesn't belong, or whatevs, but thought maybe it could help.