I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation.

It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old.

:/

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quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

Sending my warm wishes from across the pond Jenny. By the time they get there Eric should have already donated 30k to you.

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Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

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Originally posted by Frenkieee Amsterdam Dance Event is kicking off today. Anyone going?

No, but say hi to Ben (or Airwave)

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3th album single: Lisaya - Be Your Word [Vibrate Audio], click here

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Originally posted by Silky Johnson I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation. It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old. :/

Awww that sucks
Some people look for greatness, but it's not for everyone, you know.
Most people just want to have a family and see that they turn out allright, it's a pretty basic human instinct, and for her knowing that she won't see you off as far as she had wanted might have been a big contributor to her unhappiness.
I could at least tell that was something that went through my mothers head when she was going through the worst chemo with a baseball-sized tumor in her chest (recovered against odds), so maybe it's applicable in to your mothers situation also. I think maybe something that would comfort her would be hearing about how easy your life is going, and that you're happy, like almost kinda overdo it. That's what all moms want. That they're kids make it.
Anyways, sorry if I'm poking my nose in where it doesn't belong, or whatevs, but thought maybe it could help.

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BA-DUM-TSS

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ALFI - BOHICA - DJ MIX (Stream+Dropbox)

Heh, it's all good. The sentiment is appreciated.

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quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Perhaps I was not whipped enough as a child.

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Originally posted by Sushipunk It's always nice when you have a stupidly, ridiculously busy week ahead, and then your fiancee's parents give you 2 days notice that they'll be in town, and look forward to spending some time together. I can't fucking wait.

haha!

I'm so sick and twisted that I like mine turning up, they bring food, look after all the scampering creatures and do a lot of the cooking... basically all the things that I do and my time can be better spent sleeping in, watching tv or going for a walk.

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Originally posted by Silky Johnson I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation. It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old. :/

Shit, that is sad.

Getting 1 GB speed home-internet connection at the end of the month. Feels goodman. Love this fuckin country.

Preliminary testing:

Last edited by Chimney on Oct-17-2013 at 23:11

I'll never understand how fucking Romania has better internet than America. We invented it!



This is bullshit.

Holy fuckin' shit. How is your Internet that fast?

I'm in the dumps..

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation. It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old. :/

i care jenny. sorry that you feel sorry. i heard a radio programme on the BBC the other day on a similar topic. a journalist, in describing her bucket list because she was terminally ill with cancer, mentioned the fact that many people, and especially women, go through what your mom is going through. lives unfulfilled and the pain that they go through while nearing the end.

i hope that the legacy that people like your mom's experience leaves is a recognition, in all of us, that our moment here on earth is so short and we must take advantage of every opportunity and experience. good luck.

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My mixes:

Still up:1:2

Down:3:4:5