To anyone that would like to see the story all in one:
So I figure I will post something that is interesting, but each sentence will be a new post.
So, for those of you know Mada AKA Stereo Mada, today was her birthday.
She turned 21.
Seeing as she is a friend of mine, I figured I should do something nice for her.
I took her to the Symposium Cafe (one of my favourite places by the way).
So we ordered drinks; I a hot chocolate, and her a beer.
Then we ordered food.
I ordered a French Onion Soup.
Mada ordered a Chicken burger with fries.
So we ate our food happily
Mada was about half way done her meal when she noticed that her chicken burger was RAW!!!!
She pointed it out to me, and I confirmed that it was defintely not cooked.
So I took it to the front to show the manager.
She was busy, so a gentleman asked if he could help.
I said that the chicken was raw, and that when the manager had a moment, I would like to speak with her.
So she came to me a few minutes later, and apologized for the raw chicken.
She asked Mada if she wanted anything else, which she replied "no" to.
The manager asked "even some dessert on the house?"
Mada said "Maybe, I don't feel like eating anything right now".
The manager said she would void it from our bill.
Ten minutes later, she came back to tell us that she had completely taken care of our bill, and if we wanted to take desserts home, we were welcome to.
Mada took home Apple Pie since she is lactose intolerant, and I took home a triple chocolate brownie.
By the way, the brownie had no nuts in it!
Anyway, we were about to leave when the manager gave Mada a $30 gift card!
She was sorta happy, but also concerned that she might get samonella poisoning.
Poor Mada.
Yes I am aware that some of these are sentence fragments.
But I don't really give a shi* so
Anyway, in the end, it was ok.
Happy Birthday MADA!!!
Ok, I am tiring of posting now.
Suddenly, as we were about to walk out the door, hundreds of midgets popped out from under the chairs and started singing the Birthday song.
It was so exciting that both Mada and I started to dance along with the midgets in a gay and joyous manner.
Out of no where, Cale showed up and started gunning the poor midgets down!!!
Unfortunately, to their demise, Cale has a phobia of midgets due to previous bad experiences.
So we stood their in the midst of dead midgets and a panting Cale.
there***
I was so grateful to find out the when a midget dies, it bursts into magic dust shortly after.
This was good, because magic dust allows the magic dust finder to make wishes with it.
So Cale wished to be in Southern Cali with hundreds of doting hot chicks, lots of beer and all the cars he could want.
Mada wished for a bottomless glass of beer, lots of money and tonnes of hot guys to dote on her.
And I wished that I could fly.
Now you may wonder why I would ask for such a simple wish.
Because flying is fucking cool dumb ass!!!
Why would you wonder such a stupid thing?!?!
Anyway, back to the story.
quote:
Originally posted by VERTiG0 (AKA Cale)
Hhaahahh Theresa you're fucking insane
_______________________________________________________________________________
Why the hell are you posting!??! You should be out having fun with your cars, chicks and beer!!!
Alright, so Cale is gone, and now it is Mada and her tonnes of guys, and myself with wings, a bunch of fairy dust, and a slew of people staring in shock at the events that just occured.
I am smart... of course and so I scoop the remaining fairy dust into my purse, and head on outside.
Mada is far too concerned with her men, so she stays there in Symposium with all the people watching.
I go outside... and WHAT THE FUCK!!??!?
THERE IS A DONKEY!!!
I know that my last post looked similar to "Theresa is a donkey" but I assure you dear readers, that I said "there IS A donkey".
Anyway, so this donkey is standing in the middle of King Street.
And it's about to be hit by an oncoming bus!!!
So I swoop (yes, I swoop.. because I can fly now DUHH!!) and I grab the donkey with my talons (don't ask about that).
The donkey Hee Haws or whatever sounds it makes as I fly over the city holding him in my claws.
I fly all the way to some preppie chicks place and dump the donkey there since I am sure he will have a better home with her, and seeing as I am so kind and gentle and thoughtful and great and I can fly and that makes me cool, that is what I did.
This is when I realize that I am late for post whoring on TA!!!
So I catch a draft.. (HAHAH get the joke?) and fly all the way back to my place.
Anyway, so I do this super cool manooooooooooooober to my balcony, because I live on the fifth floor, and now that I can fly I don't need to take the elevator.
And I walk into my apartment straight to my computer.
To my horror I see that I no longer have my triple chocolate brownie (that doesn't have nuts in it)!!!!
WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
That bastard donkey must have taken it!!!!
I will fly all the way back, and hang that donkey from its tail until he confesses to stealing my brownie!!!
Then I will make him gag it back up, and use the remaining fairy dust I have to make it edible, and then I will eat it in front of him while I sing "Neener neener neener".
Oh wait, it's in my coat pocket.
So I eat my delicious brownie, which might I add has no nuts in it, which is good since if it had nuts in it, I would flick it in your general direction.
Seriously, the best brownie I have ever eaten in my entire life!!!!
SO anyway, enough about me.
Along with my power to fly, I have also acquired the ability to see all and know all, which you can all shove up your bum when you try to use it against me in why I didn't know my brownie was in my pocket.
So Mada hung out in the Symposium with all the hot guys, drinking her endless glass of beer.
This is when the Master King Midget appeared!!!
He had come to avenge his army's deaths, but to his dismay, the killer (Cale) had already vanished.
So the midget set on his way to find the killer, and swore to get revenge on him.
The midget, which we shall refer to as Garfopper the Midget King, stood on the corner of Erb and King and waved down a cab.
The first couple of cabbies drove right by, not even seeing poor Garfopper.
Finally, after standing in the cold for what seemed AGES, a cabbie stopped and let Garfopper in.
He said "TO PEARSON AIRPORT AND STEP ON IT!!!" in a little midget voice, something similar to a mans voice when he gets kicked in the balls.
The cabbie did 12342 KM down the 401 towards the airport, feeling the urgency to get there as soon as he could.
Now you may be wondering, why does a magical midget king need to get a plane to South California?
I do not know... stop asking me stupid questions!
So he gets to the airport, and he buys the first ticket to South Carolina he can get.
Luckily for him, that plane was leaving in 3 minutes, leaving him JUST enough time to board the plane.
So the plane flies to South California, with little midget king garfopple in tow.
I seriously don't know why he didn't just ask me to fly him there.
Blah blah blah, the midget kings finds Cale surrounded by tonnes of hotties and cars.
The midget King quickly finds, to his advantage, that Cale is so hammered, there is no way in a million years he could defend himself in a fight.
So the midget King runs up to Cale and kicks him in the shin, and yells "THIS IS TO AVENGE MY ARMY OF MIDGETS!!"
Cale, drunken and disorderly wobbles around trying to find his wits, which unfortunately he does not have
The king is very pleased with this, and goes to boot him in the shin again!!!
Cale trys to swagger out of the direction of the Kings kick.
Suddenly, Cale loses his balance, and falls straight down on the King Garflopper himself!!!
Cale squished the KING!!!!!!!!
This, by default, makes Cale the Midget King.
It is said in the Midget books of old, that "anyone to kill the King shall be named the King".
Poor garlflopper had no chance.
King Cale shall reign as the Midget king for most likely eternity, simply because he is so big, no other midget can kill him.
Anyway, so now the Cale is King midget, had hundreds of chicks, and lots of cars, he feels he's in right to boss people around in his drunken stupor.
Too bad no one gives a shit who is King Midget.
Anyway, no one listens to him, but he doesnt really give a squat considering he's got all the things he could want anyway.
So in the end, Cale is King Midget and has everything he loves, Mada is in paradise with her beer and men, the donkey is with some chick somewhere, happily hee hawing his way to merriment, and Theresa is sitting in her computer chair, with Talons and Wings, and the ability to see all and know all.
And that is the end of the story....
The end.
Or is it?!@?@?@ DUN DUN DUN!
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