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Lira
Ancient BassAddict
Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Brasília, Brazil
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Re: Getting older and losing friends
So here's me being a contrarian and saying "nah"
"Peak loneliness" seems to be reached at 35 (and this research is mostly about Britons), but I can't say it's bothered me because there is an easy way to circumvent this problem.
Think of churchgoers, and don't just take my word for it.
As you said, there's a tendency to "lose friends" over time because they tend to move elsewhere or just get swamped in their jobs. However, if you belong to an institution, such as a church, there are always new people you tend to bond with. And, it doesn't have to be an actual religious institution. Crossfit apparently does something similar. In my case, I've made quite a few acquaintances in a group of (grand)children of Japanese immigrants, so when a friend is no longer around, I eventually befriend a friend of this friend who already happened to be an acquaintance. Thus, my circle of friends keeps changing, but I'm not sure I can say it's shrinking.
___________________
Indiana Clones Upcoming Sets
[ I May Upload Something Someday ]
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Jul-06-2017 03:23
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Jon_Snow
Guest
Registered: Not Yet
Location:
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I'm still wait'in on a male pattern baldness or enlarged prostate thread.
Last edited by on Jul-06-2017 at 15:14
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Jul-06-2017 14:40
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SYSTEM-J
IDKFA.
Registered: Sep 2003
Location: Manchester
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Jul-06-2017 16:41
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Jon_Snow
Guest
Registered: Not Yet
Location:
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Teachers do like to talk though. I could expound precipitously on the subject but I'm on my phone.
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Jul-06-2017 16:42
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Silky Johnson
International Playa Hater
Registered: Nov 2003
Location:
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Ok fine, I'll speak to just your post then.
A while back we were out for Sunday breakfast, and at the next table was a young woman and much older woman. I assumed it was a grandmother/daughter relationship. We could overhear their entire conversation. The young woman was going on about her and her husband's troubles getting pregnant, and kept saying "I trust in the lord's plan for us." 'The lord' this and 'the lord' that.
At first I rolled my eyes to myself and thought "Oh brother, stupid fool..the lord ain't in control of shit."
But then I realized the relationship of these two was probably a connection through church, and I thought "How lovely these two women have a connection to share, and a community to share it in (especially the old bird)." The lord/church stuff was really inconsequential.
And I got to thinking about the erosion of community in recent times, and how neighbourly behaviour doesn't really exist in the same way it used to - people don't give much of a shit about each other or look out for each other, or take care of each other and hold each other accountable to one another. Something that I know belonging to a community like a church, especially, provides people with. I work with some nurses and doctors who all go to the same united church, and they are very involved with the community, helping others and such. I think that's lovely.
Now that we're starting a family, we've actually been considering joining a church (I was quite surprised when I mentioned the idea to my husband and he said he'd already been thinking about it himself). It's just such a nice thing to be part of, to be connected with others in the community and, as I said, to look out for others (outside of just family) and have them look out for you. The world (at least my part of the world) is only becoming more and more of a self centered "me first/fuck you" place - I think society could use social groups like church now more than ever. Especially since many churches nowadays are more progressive and not just focused on all the GOD SATAN HEAVEN HELL SIN REPENT shit.
Last edited by Silky Johnson on Jul-06-2017 at 16:56
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Jul-06-2017 16:47
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