|Originally posted by Silky Johnson |
I'm only posting this here for the purpose of getting it off my chest. I don't expect you guys to care and I don't want sympathy. My mom had her last dialysis treatment yesterday. She checked out of life a long time ago, and now she isn't eating or taking her medications - so we changed her level of care to a level 1 - palliation.
It's been a long time coming - she's been unhappy and unhealthy for many years now. I have basically been grieving her loss my entire life. Her imminent death is not what makes me sad, it's that she never found whatever she wanted/needed from life. Nobody should die willfully at 65 years old.
i care jenny. sorry that you feel sorry. i heard a radio programme on the BBC the other day on a similar topic. a journalist, in describing her bucket list because she was terminally ill with cancer, mentioned the fact that many people, and especially women, go through what your mom is going through. lives unfulfilled and the pain that they go through while nearing the end.
i hope that the legacy that people like your mom's experience leaves is a recognition, in all of us, that our moment here on earth is so short and we must take advantage of every opportunity and experience. good luck.