well, i've been trying to avoid the draft since forever, failing to do so, i tried to get out of the service for my entire first year;
approaching the date of the draft, i was summoned to take some tests and a physical exam for the army: the test seemed (and was) so easy to me, i felt it would be insulting to myself to cheat through out the entire thing (in order to get a low score and be less desireable to the army), so i took it as any other test (AKA easy contribution to ego), in other words, my ego got the better of me...
i finished the test in 20something minutes (while everyone else took more than 3 hours), i asked to see a mental health officer (those officers are the people most qualified to discharge people from the army, and often they do so just because of excess man power, using some minor mental illness as an excuse, whether the person actually has it or not; it's usually very easy to get discharged by them, especially if you don't want to serve) and he interviewed me, i told him i don't want to serve and gave him many reasons for it (lack of patriotism being a main one); basically i told him the truth.
he didn't discharge me
i was propositioned to join the intelligence core, which involves signing to be a soldier for 2 extra years (at higher pay than the regular service), i told them to go fuck themselves...
skipping forward a few months to the draft:
from my first moment in the drafting bureau i bitched to see another mental health officer (let's just call them MHO's for the rest of the post), they sent me to boot camp without seeing another MHO;
at boot camp i refused to follow any order that didnt seem logically beneficial (in some cases, this required arguing till they got tired of it [i never get tired of arguments myself ]) - using some rule to my advantage "at boot camp, if you don't 'understand' an order, ask your commander about it, and do not perform it until you are presented with an explanation", after a few days, as the rest of my 'class' became more weary, they started to follow my behaviour rather than the orders; as a result, i was on one hand charged with inciting rebellion, and on the other hand, propositioned to take on advanced officer training to become an officer (also requires extra years).
i won the 'trial' on the basis that i wasn't advising anyone to follow my behaviour, and generally not communicating with anyone at all, and obviously, i rejected the officer position.
according to the rules, they must provide me with an MHO in 14 days since i request to see one at most; when the 14th day came, they didnt let me see anyone, but they sent us home for the weekend; i stayed home for the entire following week and was declared AWOL, and headed back to the base only with the promise of seeing an MHO immediately on arrival.
i told this MHO a different story, one about excessive paranoias [which i didnt really have], but he shot me down too.
i was trialed for being AWOL, and got off with one of the lowest sentences, it's called something like intense-scolding, and in effect it only means i won't rise above the rank of private for at least 2 years.
from that time on, i tried a different MHO every 14 days, sometimes using a previous story, somtimes using a new one, this went on for about 5 months (boot camp took only 7 more days), and was repeatedly shot down; also, the intelligence core kept insisting i join them. i took these two facts and figured i am some kind of a prizeless possession to the army - regardless of my desires, and realized i will have to fight a lot harder than most.
this went on for my first 6-7 months in the army, my service scheme at the time was 9.5 hours a day (from 8am sharp to 17:30), or 11.5 a day including transportation, being home every night, and doing guard duty (32 hours at the base, or if on the weekend - the entire weekend plus sunday) once or twice per month.
during this time i hassled the base's commander a lot to recommend me for discharge, but he wouldn't budge.
then i couldn't take it anymore and went AWOL, i was AWOL for around 90 days before i was captured by renegade hunters (military police soldiers), after which i was sentenced 55 days in jail (which were in effect 47 days after a 5 day reduction for 'good behvaiour' [default], and a 3 day 'vacation').
in the jail i tried the MHO's again to no avail.
when i got out of jail i went back to the base and had a new commanding officer, i told him i won't be able to get back to the same routine i was in, and i'm planning to resume being AWOL. he offered me a different arrangement: i come to work (that's what i call the army nowadays) every day at 8am and leave at noon. i told him i can give it a shot, but if it gets too grinding i'll resume my original plan (which is in effect to do the AWOL-jail cycle until the army gets sick of me, the likeliness of a discharge theoretically increases exponentially with the time being spent at home and at jail).
as the weeks went by my arrangement got smaller and smaller, to a point where i'd arrive at 11am and leave at 12 noon every day.
after a few months my commanding officer was discharged and replaced, the new one understood the arrangement and even allowed me more liberty (coming when i want, staying to work anywhere between half an hour and 2 hours, and leaving; no guard duty whatsoever; exempt of the rule disallowing soldiers to walk about with headphones on their head).
but a few weeks ago, 2 years (and 1 month) since i was drafted, i got sick of that too (as i expected), aswell as being summoned for a newly created duty which is completely useless and involves staying at the base for 1 whole week every 6 weeks; i discussed it with my commanding officer, and he could not exempt me from it (this duty was designed so all the people exempt from other duties will have to do it, and there is no way to get an exemption from it).
leading to me going AWOL yet again, i was AWOL since the 5th this month, and returned on thursday of last week. my commander did not report me to the authorities as AWOL, hence i wasn't charged with anything when i got back; i basically told him the whole story (plus what i could remember of my stories to the MHO's aswell as the actual reasons for not wanting to serve) we brainstormed and came up with several solutions together:
1. i come to work twice a week, stay for anywhere between 2 and 4 hours, and leave.
2. i come to work 4 days a week, but stay no longer than an hour per day.
3. i do some form of community service in accordance with suggestions 1.
4. i do some form of community service in accordance with suggestion 2.
5. he recommends me for a discharge.
6. back to the AWOL-jail cycle till someone sensible discharges me.
we talked again yesterday, and he told me he decided to recommend me to be discharged, to my infinite happiness
now we have to wait till the base's comander returns to the base two weeks from now, so we can start the beaurocracy of it. but perheps we will wait longer, because the base's commander is really against the idea of discharging me (in particular), and might impede our plans with great effect, as well as requesting the next base commander (who will replace him in 4 months) to do the same.
so, it might take 4 months, but those will pass much more smoothly, both because my service will be easier than it already was, and because the end is near.
and finally, my ego won't have to suffer the shame of failing one of the (currently) most important goals of my life: to get discharged!
ah, gotta love happy endings
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