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zeKsg
ZEK
Registered: Sep 2007
Location: Ottawa, Canada
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Sep-24-2008 15:43
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Intellekshual
tranceaddict in training
Registered: Dec 2011
Location: Oubliette
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quote: | Originally posted by Spin Laden
all Bal en Blanc-related promos go in here too |
Here is one I heard a couple days ago.
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
'Breast-fed' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist' the doctor ordered. She did.
He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk'
'I know' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came "
___________________
The only hard feelings should be in your pants
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Sep-24-2008 18:58
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Neo Hacker
Passionate
Registered: Dec 2004
Location: Montréal
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quote: | Originally posted by Enigmatik
Here is one I heard a couple days ago.
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam.
The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed?
'Breast-fed' she replied.
'Well, strip down to your waist' the doctor ordered. She did.
He pinched her nipples, pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both
breasts for a while in a very professional and detailed examination.
Motioning to her to get dressed The doctor said, 'No wonder this baby is underweight. You don't have any milk'
'I know' she said, 'I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came " |
yuk !
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Sep-24-2008 19:13
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elFreak
Blood Diamonds and Salsa
Registered: Feb 2008
Location: With Juan Pachanga Eating Tacos. Ah Ha Si Mi Gusta.
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Sep-24-2008 19:31
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Nekya
Senior tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2008
Location: quebec, Canada
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Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say,
'Esther, I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'
'Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'
One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said,
'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'
To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'
The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'
Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard . He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.
When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said,
'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't. I'm impressed!'
Morris replied, 'Well to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out,
But you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'
___________________
Don't wish it was easier, wish you were better...
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Sep-26-2008 19:42
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Dj Nacht
Supreme tranceaddict
Registered: Feb 2003
Location:
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A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.
"I'm sorry sir, but I am blind, and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer, I'll smell it and order from there."
A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes that's what I'll have, meatloaf and mashed potatoes."
Unbelievable, the owner says to himself as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife and he tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.
Several days later the blind man returns and the owner mistakingly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man."
"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."
The owner again retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man. After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great, I'll take the Macarroni and chesse with broccoli.
Once again walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.
He returns the following week, but this time the owner see's him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."
Mary complies and hands her husband the fork back. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.
"Good afternoon sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."
The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here?"
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Sep-26-2008 21:15
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