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tranceaddict Forums > Local Scene Info / Discussion / EDM Event Listings > Canada > Canada - Montreal > Joke of the day thread?
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

A cowboy walks into a bar and
he realizes it's a gay bar.

But what the heck, he says to himself, "I can
really use a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to
the cowboy, "What's the name of your weewee?"

The cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of
that, all I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't
serve you until you tell me the name of your
weewee. Mine for instance is called Nike, for the
slogan 'Just Do It,' and that guy down at the end
of the bar calls his, Snickers, because it really
'Satisfies.'"

The cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender
tells him he will give him a second to think it over.
So the cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who
is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of
yours?"

The man looks back and says with a smile "Timex,"
and the thirsty cowboy asks, "Why Timex?" The
fella proudly replies, "Cause it takes a lickin' and
keeps on tickin!"

A little shaken, the cowboy turns to two fellas on
his right, who happen to be sharing a fruity
Margarita and says, "So, what do you guys call yours?"

The first man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD, because Quality is
Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

The guy next to him then says, "I call mine CHEVY, 'Like A Rock.'" and
gives a wink.

Even more shaken the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up
with a name. He exclaims, "The name of my weewee is 'SECRET.' Now give me a
beer."

The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look
asked, "Why Secret?"

The cowboy says, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH
FOR A MAN, BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN.

Old Post Nov-26-2009 15:33  Canada
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malek
drinks your milkshake!



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Montréal

Good one!!

Here's one:

A twin-engine plane has one of its engines fail; altitude and air speed are rapidly decreasing. The pilot speaks over the intercom. 'I'm sorry it had to come to this folks, but unfortunately we're gonna have to jettison baggage in order for the aircraft to remain airborne.'

Baggage is thrown out, but the plane's speed continues to decrease. Again the pilot gets on the intercom. 'I hate to have to do this, but now we're gonna have to start off-loading passengers. The only fair way to do it is alphabetically, so
we'll start with the letter 'A'.

'Africans, any Africans on board?'

No one answers

'Ok then, 'B'..

Black people, any black people?'

Again, silence.

'C' - Coloured people, any Coloured people on board?

Silence.

A little black boy in the back turns to his mother. 'But Mom, aren't we African?, aren't we Black? Aren't we Coloured?'

'Yes son, but for the purpose of this exercise we is Niggas. Let dem Mexicans and Muslims go first.'


___________________
[/IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/ngycqo.png[/IMG]

Old Post Nov-26-2009 16:01 
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

Old Post Nov-26-2009 16:05  Canada
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Ninja Francis
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Sep 2008
Location: Drummondville, Canada

Calisse...


___________________
Ninja Francis's website super cool with monkeys and ninjas : www.ninjafrancis.com

Old Post Nov-27-2009 02:32  Canada
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ostrich
13percent.ca



Registered: Jan 2008
Location: MTL

Love it!


___________________
Ostrich
13 PERCENT


04.03 | Daome w/ Shed & Deadbeat
04.18 | Stereo w/ Matthew Dekay
05.01 | Salon Daomé
05.17 | Stereo w / Sven Vath
05.18 | Piknic Electronik
05.18 | Le Bleury

Old Post Nov-27-2009 03:09  Canada
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mattymtl
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Mar 2007
Location: Montreal

nice one malek

Old Post Nov-27-2009 03:41  Canada
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zeKsg
ZEK



Registered: Sep 2007
Location: Ottawa, Canada

I actually laughed out loud at Maleks joke LOL

Old Post Nov-27-2009 07:25  Russia
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viciousmarie
Senior tranceaddict



Registered: Jul 2006
Location: Montreal Québec

Old Post Nov-27-2009 17:39  Canada
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9
Tiger jokes

1- Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

2- This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards

3- Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

4- Nike wants to drop their endorsement due to accuracy problems. Apparently, Tiger’s spraying his balls everywhere.

5- Tiger just changed his nickname but still kept it in the cat family. Cheetah.

6- Tiger said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a golfer—always blame the caddy.

7- Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

8- Tiger's next commercial: "Hi, I'm Tiger Woods, and when my wife comes after me in a domestic dispute, I make sure she uses the Nike SQ Dynamo driver.

9- Tiger crashed his car because he was in a rush to move on to the second hole.

10- Just because you’re the world’s no. 1 golfer, it doesn’t mean you can’t be beaten by your wife.

11- Ping just offered Elin Woods an endorsement contract pushing her own set of drivers. They are said to be named Elin Woods…”clubs you can beat Tiger with.”

12- Tiger Woods just announced that he is enrolling in Chris Brown’s school of self-defense.

13- Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

14- What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

15- After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.

16- Apparently, the police asked Tiger’s wife how many times she hit him. She said, “I don’t know exactly, but put me down for a 5.”

17- What is the penalty for getting it in the wrong hole? Ask Tiger, he knows.

18- If the only person that can beat Tiger is a blonde with big breasts, it’s time for Phil Mickelson to bleach his hair.

Old Post Dec-03-2009 16:03  Canada
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Romchik22
Digger's acolyte



Registered: Apr 2009
Location: Montreal,Canada

A husband and wife decided they needed to use ‘code’ to indicate that they wanted to have sex without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word Typewriter.
One day the husband told his five year old daughter, ‘Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter’.
The child told her mother what her dad said, and her mom responded, ‘Tell your daddy that he can't type a letter right now cause there is a red ribbon in the typewriter.’ The child went back to tell her father what mommy said.
A few days later the mom told the daughter, ‘Tell daddy that he can type that letter now.’
The child told her father, returned to her mother and announced, ‘Daddy said never mind with the typewriter, he already wrote the letter by hand.’


___________________
Loving the BoomchikaBoom

Old Post Dec-03-2009 17:03  Canada
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

oh dear

Old Post Dec-03-2009 19:26  Canada
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malek
drinks your milkshake!



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Montréal

Here's the joke of the day


___________________
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Old Post Dec-04-2009 04:21 
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