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tranceaddict Forums > Local Scene Info / Discussion / EDM Event Listings > Canada > Canada - Montreal > Joke of the day thread?
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Brian Blanc
Supreme tranceaddict



Registered: Mar 2010
Location: in the Village

here's one for you breeders--

Four gay guys walk into a gay bar and they find a problem. There's only one stool left.

One guy says "Lets flip for it"

But another says "No, Lets flip it over"

Old Post Mar-16-2010 16:47  Canada
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Fran666
Party Hard, Dance Harder!



Registered: Apr 2007
Location: Canada's #1 Club


___________________
circushd.com

Old Post Mar-17-2010 18:46  Canada
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

The Sensitive Man

A woman meets a man in a bar.
They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together..
They get back to his place,
And as he shows her around his apartment.
She notices that one wall of his bedroom is
Completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom,
With hundreds and hundreds of cute,
Cuddly teddy bears carefully placed
In rows, covering the entire wall!
It was obvious that he had taken
Quite some time to lovingly arrange them
And she was immediately touched
By the amount of thought he had
Put into organizing the display.
There were small bears all along
The bottom shelf,
Medium-sized bears covering the
Length of the middle shelf,
And huge, enormous bears running
All the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an
Obviously masculine guy
To have such a large collection of
Teddy Bears,
She is quite impressed by his
Sensitive side.
But doesn't mention this to him.
They share a bottle of wine and
Continue talking and,

After awhile, she finds herself
Thinking,
'Oh my God! Maybe, this guy
Could be the one!
Maybe he could be the future
Father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him
Lightly on the lips
He responds warmly.
They continue to kiss, the passion builds,
And he romantically lifts her in
His arms and carries her into his bedroom
Where they rip off each other's
Clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she
Responds with more passion,
More creativity, more heat than she
Has ever known.
After an intense, explosive night
Of raw passion with this sensitive guy,
They are lying there together in
The afterglow.

The woman rolls over, gently
Strokes his chest and asks coyly,
'Well, how was it?'

The guy gently smiles at her,
Strokes her cheek,
Looks deeply into her eyes,

And says:

'Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf'


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by Ravemontreal
Once I took a piss in front of everybody at Stereo. Put the garbage under the mixer, and did it right there while people were dancing and screaming. people thought I was playing with the mixer but I was playing with my zizi.

quote:
Originally posted by Enjoy
a classic from the aria days:
me: are you on TA?
girl: uhhhh... im on speed

Old Post Apr-14-2010 14:51  Canada
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

New Sex Study...

It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position.
The husband sits up and begs.

The wife rolls over and plays dead.


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by Ravemontreal
Once I took a piss in front of everybody at Stereo. Put the garbage under the mixer, and did it right there while people were dancing and screaming. people thought I was playing with the mixer but I was playing with my zizi.

quote:
Originally posted by Enjoy
a classic from the aria days:
me: are you on TA?
girl: uhhhh... im on speed

Old Post Apr-21-2010 14:46  Canada
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ostrich
13percent.ca



Registered: Jan 2008
Location: MTL

An octopus walks into a bar and says, "I can play any musical instrument you like."

Englishman gives him a guitar which the octopus plays better than Clapton. Irishman gives him a piano and the octopus plays it better than Elton John. Scotsman throws the octopus a set of bag-pipes. The octopus fumbles around for a couple of minutes, Scotsman says, "What's wrong - can ye no play it?"

Octopus replies, "Play it? I'm going to fuck her brains out once I get her pyjamas off..."


___________________
Ostrich
13 PERCENT


04.03 | Daome w/ Shed & Deadbeat
04.18 | Stereo w/ Matthew Dekay
05.01 | Salon Daomé
05.17 | Stereo w / Sven Vath
05.18 | Piknic Electronik
05.18 | Le Bleury

Old Post May-10-2010 13:52  Canada
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Spin Laden
Nick Vachon approved



Registered: Jan 2006
Location: 1211 Ambien City Blvd, Canada, K1A 0A9

The doctor told a man that masturbating before sex, often helped men last longer

during the act.

The man decided, "What the heck, I'll try it." He spent the rest of the day thinking

about where to do it. Obviously, he couldn't do it in his office. He thought about

the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was

too unsafeé Finally he found a solution.

On the way home from work, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway.

He got out and crawled underneath as if examining the truck. Satisfied with his

privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate. He closed his eyes and

thought of his lover.

As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at his pant leg. Not wanting to lose

his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?"

He heard, "This is the police. What in the hell are you doing?"

The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle; it's busted."

The cop says, "Well, you better check your brakes too because your truck

rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago!"


___________________
quote:
Originally posted by Ravemontreal
Once I took a piss in front of everybody at Stereo. Put the garbage under the mixer, and did it right there while people were dancing and screaming. people thought I was playing with the mixer but I was playing with my zizi.

quote:
Originally posted by Enjoy
a classic from the aria days:
me: are you on TA?
girl: uhhhh... im on speed

Old Post Jun-11-2010 20:03  Canada
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malek
drinks your milkshake!



Registered: Nov 2001
Location: Montréal

- Au cours d'un jugement pour divorce, le couple se dispute la garde du fils unique. La mère, très émue, se défend :
- Votre Honneur... Cet enfant a été conçu en moi... Cet enfant est sorti de mon ventre... Donc je mérite de le garder !
Le juge, tout aussi ému et presque convaincu, laisse la parole au futur ex-mari.

Celui ci utilise son coté pragmatique :
- Votre Honneur, je n'aurai qu'une question : Quand j'introduis une pièce dans un distributeur de boissons, la canette qui en sort est à moi ou à la machine ?.....


___________________
[/IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/ngycqo.png[/IMG]

Old Post Jun-11-2010 20:19 
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ostrich
13percent.ca



Registered: Jan 2008
Location: MTL

A woman is in a coma. The Nurses are in her room giving her a sponge
bath. One of them is washing her "private area" and notices that there
is a response on the monitor when she touches her.

They go to her husband and explain what happened, telling him, "Crazy as
this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the trick and bring her out
of the coma."

The husband is sceptical, but they assure him that they'll close the
curtains for privacy. Besides it's worth a try!!

The hubby finally agrees and goes into his wife's room. After a few
minutes the woman's monitor flat-lines...no pulse...no heart rate.

The nurses run into the room.

The husband is standing there, and says, "I think she choked!!"


___________________
Ostrich
13 PERCENT


04.03 | Daome w/ Shed & Deadbeat
04.18 | Stereo w/ Matthew Dekay
05.01 | Salon Daomé
05.17 | Stereo w / Sven Vath
05.18 | Piknic Electronik
05.18 | Le Bleury

Old Post Jun-17-2010 05:08  Canada
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Fran666
Party Hard, Dance Harder!



Registered: Apr 2007
Location: Canada's #1 Club


___________________
circushd.com

Old Post Jul-08-2010 00:50  Canada
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ostrich
13percent.ca



Registered: Jan 2008
Location: MTL

The Pope and Tiger Woods died on the same day and because of an administrative mix up the Pope went to hell and Tiger Woods went to heaven. The Pope explains the situation to the administrative clerk in hell, and after checking the paperwork admits that there is an error.

“However”, the clerk explains, “it would be 24 hours before it can be rectified”. The next day the Pope is called and Hell’s staff bids him farewell. On the way up, the Pope meets Tiger Woods coming down from heaven and they stop to have a chat.

“Sorry about the mix up”, apologizes the Pope.

“No problem” replied Tiger Woods.

Pope: “I am really anxious to get to heaven.”

Tiger: “Why is that?”

Pope: “All my life I have wanted to meet the Virgin Mary.”

Tiger: “You’re a day late.”


___________________
Ostrich
13 PERCENT


04.03 | Daome w/ Shed & Deadbeat
04.18 | Stereo w/ Matthew Dekay
05.01 | Salon Daomé
05.17 | Stereo w / Sven Vath
05.18 | Piknic Electronik
05.18 | Le Bleury

Old Post Jul-20-2010 00:14  Canada
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ChemEnhanced
ƒ¶ƒåƒÓƒÛƒnƒéƒßƒåƒnƒÚƒÕƒÞƒ



Registered: Mar 2005
Location: Milton, ON Canada

tiesto


























































that is all


___________________
quote:
Scott has been introduced to the rave scene, and Ecstasy, by Craig. The two of them go out on the weekends, with some of Craigs friends, and stay up all night, dancing in a drug-fueled trance.


Last edited by Moral Hazard on Apr-26-2011 at 07:48

Old Post Jul-20-2010 01:14  Canada
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Fran666
Party Hard, Dance Harder!



Registered: Apr 2007
Location: Canada's #1 Club


___________________
circushd.com

Old Post Jul-23-2010 05:01  Canada
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tranceaddict Forums > Local Scene Info / Discussion / EDM Event Listings > Canada > Canada - Montreal > Joke of the day thread?
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