For what it's worth, Chimney, I will always think of you as a woman with a severe case of ADHD and an odor associated with significant hygiene neglect. I will think of you as a long lost daughter; likely the product of an impromtu coupling with that French exchange student I met outside a night club in Dallas. I always did wonder about the phone calls, nine months later, with a woman crying on the other end that were interrupted by a belligerent man whose accent I could never quite place.
I'm sorry it happened this way, sweetheart, and if I had known, I surely would have done the right thing and sent financial support. Unfortunately, I now have a family with a wife who knows nothing of my past indiscretions. While the right thing to do would be to confess everything to her, perhaps even inviting you to our next family reunion, you've turned out to be such a crushing and bitter disappointment that I can scarcely justify introducing you to your step-siblings.
Now with extra singles!
my old stuff, not quite up to snuff - but I still dig it - UPDATED 9/23/2012