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New Theory of "Intelligent Falling" Replaces that Crappy Theory of Gravity
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| occrider |
| quote: | Evangelical Scientists Refute Theory of Gravity with New “Intelligent Falling” Theory
KANSAS CITY, KS—As the debate over the teaching of evolution in public schools continues, a new controversy over the science curriculum arose Monday in this embattled Midwestern state. Scientists from the Evangelical Center For Faith-Based Reasoning are now asserting that the long-held "theory of gravity" is flawed, and they have responded to it with a new theory of Intelligent Falling.
Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University.
Burdett added: "Gravity—which is taught to our children as a law—is founded on great gaps in understanding. The laws predict the mutual force between all bodies of mass, but they cannot explain that force. Isaac Newton himself said, 'I suspect that my theories may all depend upon a force for which philosophers have searched all of nature in vain.' Of course, he is alluding to a higher power."
Founded in 1987, the ECFR is the world's leading institution of evangelical physics, a branch of physics based on literal interpretation of the Bible.
According to the ECFR paper published simultaneously this week in the International Journal Of Science and the adolescent magazine God's Word For Teens!, there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise.
The ECFR, in conjunction with the Christian Coalition and other Christian conservative action groups, is calling for public-school curriculums to give equal time to the Intelligent Falling theory. They insist they are not asking that the theory of gravity be banned from schools, but only that students be offered both sides of the issue "so they can make an informed decision."
"We just want the best possible education for Kansas' kids," Burdett said.
Proponents of Intelligent Falling assert that the different theories used by secular physicists to explain gravity are not internally consistent. Even critics of Intelligent Falling admit that Einstein's ideas about gravity are mathematically irreconcilable with quantum mechanics. This fact, Intelligent Falling proponents say, proves that gravity is a theory in crisis.
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."
Critics of Intelligent Falling point out that gravity is a provable law based on empirical observations of natural phenomena. Evangelical physicists, however, insist that there is no conflict between Newton's mathematics and Holy Scripture.
"Closed-minded gravitists cannot find a way to make Einstein's general relativity match up with the subatomic quantum world," said Dr. Ellen Carson, a leading Intelligent Falling expert known for her work with the Kansan Youth Ministry. "They've been trying to do it for the better part of a century now, and despite all their empirical observation and carefully compiled data, they still don't know how."
"Traditional scientists admit that they cannot explain how gravitation is supposed to work," Carson said. "What the gravity-agenda scientists need to realize is that 'gravity waves' and 'gravitons' are just secular words for 'God can do whatever He wants.'"
Some evangelical physicists propose that Intelligent Falling provides an elegant solution to the central problem of modern physics.
"Anti-falling physicists have been theorizing for decades about the 'electromagnetic force,' the 'weak nuclear force,' the 'strong nuclear force,' and so-called 'force of gravity,'" Burdett said. "And they tilt their findings toward trying to unite them into one force. But readers of the Bible have already known for millennia what this one, unified force is: His name is Jesus."
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Glad that's settled. |
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| Aquarian |
<3 the onion.
Sad thing is, for at least half the time I read that, I was afraid it might be serious. |
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| eckmek |
this has got to be a joke right?:wtf:
i mean seriously, who udnerstands the whole bible in a literal way?
if you do you have misunderstood something imo.
man i hate people. |
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| D-res |
| quote: | Above: Rev. Gabriel Burdett (left) explains Intelligent Falling.
"Things fall not because they are acted upon by some gravitational force, but because a higher intelligence, 'God' if you will, is pushing them down," said Gabriel Burdett, who holds degrees in education, applied Scripture, and physics from Oral Roberts University. |
| quote: | | there are many phenomena that cannot be explained by secular gravity alone, including such mysteries as how angels fly, how Jesus ascended into Heaven, and how Satan fell when cast out of Paradise. |
:wtf: are you in serious?! :haha: |
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| cviper |
Blasphemy!
They've got it all wrong. Things fall because the Flying Spaghetti Monster wills them to fall.
:clown: |
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| Xenocreator_PG_ |
I was hoping for an intelligent answer, not this stupid "god pushed it" crap :(
I believe anything that takes up space has force acting against it. As density increases, so does this unnamed force. Gravity is the by-product of the unnamed force. The more space that is filled with solid density, the higher the force, the greater the gravity.
Now, if many objects are effected my gravity, they will all act against each other & start moving just the same as the planets in our galaxy revolve around the sun.
What if, a trillion light years away, further that any telescope or any other human technology can see, is a galaxy consisting of trillions of planets that are closely bunched together? The chaos caused by gravity would be mind bending. Imagine trillions of planets & suns revolving around each other. Some planets would in fact be travelling at such massive speeds that the momentum would be enough to hurl them out of this particular galaxy system (hence shooting star/ falling star).
If Earth travels around the sun at around 67000 miles per hour, what’s to say that in another solar system a sun is billions of times larger. The gravity affecting the planets around it will force them to move at incredibly large velocities. Basically, us humans always think on a 'small' scale. We limit ourselves by standards & rules. We are stuck in a solar system that we have grown to understand & we are limiting ourselves to what we can only see.
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| Akridrot |
| I agree with everything Xenocreator had to say. That was well written, man. |
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| Sunsnail |
| I ing believed it for a minute :nervous: |
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| Acton |
i class myself as a physicist, and this actually offends me, the biggest pile of crap i have ever read in my entire life, i mean come on..........................
"Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling."
lets take a look at the evidence HA.
and so wot if physicists havent unified gravity with quantum theory yet. they will eventually, just like nearly 100 years ago when maxwell unified electricity with magnetism to 'create' electromagnetism |
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| Streakfury |
| quote: | | "Let's take a look at the evidence," said ECFR senior fellow Gregory Lunsden."In Matthew 15:14, Jesus says, 'And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.' He says nothing about some gravity making them fall—just that they will fall. Then, in Job 5:7, we read, 'But mankind is born to trouble, as surely as sparks fly upwards.' If gravity is pulling everything down, why do the sparks fly upwards with great surety? This clearly indicates that a conscious intelligence governs all falling." |
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
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| Acton |
| quote: | Originally posted by Streakfury
:stongue: :stongue: :stongue: |
exactly |
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