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Love...please Read It All....help
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| tiesto14 |
OK...i see that people here can post their problems with girls/guys and people listen and offer advice...i dont know whether or not i need adive but i do need to vent how i feel, and since my friends are useless when it comes to matters of the hearts i will do it here......
here i go.....
Over the summer i met this girl, and immediatley i felt a strong attachment to her. To me she is with-out-a-doubt perfect for me and i can see myself spending an eternity with her. We got along pretty well and she "seemed" to be interested in all i had to say. For a short time we had sex and when i tell u the sex was the best i ever had I DO NOT LIE....we would spend minimum 2 hours everytime we did it and i cared more about pleasing her then myself....i adored the taste of her body, the smell of her hair, and the energy her body released....if i had to give u track to compare the feeling try listening to "Perpetual Dreamer - The Sound of Goodbye"..the part where the beat drops low and the vocals come on..u know the part in a track where u can feel the music inside of ur stomach and u close ur eyes and get tingles....
SO...she had to go back to college in Boston and I am in NY so we had to part....it tore me apart...completley. The thing is is this -----in August she went on a cruise with her family and when she came back we where "supposed" to spend the remaining 2 weeks she had left together. The night before she was to come home i was at a party at a friends house and i looked up at the stars and said to my friends "i wonder if she is looking up at teh same stars right now thinking about me on the ship"...i know its corny but i was dead serious...My friends laughed and said i was outta my mind...so the next day she came home and i was as excited as a little girl at a Backstreet Boys concert...I called her up and we spoke. I told her about how i looked up at the stars and said what i said to my friends....And she said to me that she was looking at teh stars on the ship and thinking about me around 9 at night and that was the same time i said it to my friends...THAT WAS SO WEIRD....so like i said we talked and everything was cool.......
We made plans to hang out and i was all set...i went to my friends house and partied again like everything was cool...the next day i got a phone call form her saying she didnt thinkwe should hang out anymore...i was shocked beyond beleif...she gave no reason, i assume it was cus she was going back to college and wanted to chill with her firends and i can understand that but we mainly chilled late night when her friends where at home anyway....so i was confused....she never gave me a straight forward reason...but that must have been it..or maybe she just didnt like me at all and it was all for sex for her...who ever knows TELL ME....
So the summer eneded with me trying everything humanly possible to get her back or to even get a explanation...but all i got was pain and she basically acted like she didnt even care about me...I was so upset..i would call her and she would not even talk to me, i would cry to her and she didnt care. All my friends told her how upset i was and she wax like "well what do u want me to do, i dont have time for this"...i couldnt beleive she said taht about me...I was so sad knowing that someone could treat someone so poorley knowing that person loves them to death...thats just down-right cruel in my book...
So she went back to college and i tryed and tryed to forget her but it didnt work....although i stopped calling her ....so now its Thanksgiving and of course she is home for the holiday and like a moron i called her....we talked and i tryed my hardest not to convey my feelings for her...we talked about random stuff and all was good...then i started...like a dick....but to my surprise she listened this time and she actually said we could chill one night while she is home..i was SIKED...so all started on Friday...Saturday we talked and she basically told me she wanted to sleep with me, and i am fine with that....Sunday came and went...and Monday she said we will chill on Tuesday night...i called her on Tuesday (last night) and she said she changed her mind...i was like what the ...i tryed my hardest not to flip out..i mean i know nothing can come from it but to spend a night with her would mean the world to me...even with out sex....
So we spoke on the phone last night for a little bit and i tryed to change her mind...i basically begged...even though i know she doesnt want to i kept trying...at the end of the conversation she said she would come out Wednesday night, meaning tonight. She said we would not have sex and thats a bummer but like i said i wanna see her so bad it hurts...its gunna be weird "if" she chills cus i know she doesnt really wanna....i dont know what to do....do i try and kiss her or do i leave it be..do i tell her my feelings,, or is that a waste.....besides i bet a billion dollars she doesnt even come out....i am going to be so scared to call her cus i know she is going to say she changed her mind again and she wont be coming to chill........that would really hurt alot.....we will see in a couple of hours i guess...
i like this girl so so much and i cant have her. I broke up with a different girl last year that i dated for alomost 5 years. Me and that girl practillay where married we spent every minute together and we broke up i didnt even come close to hurting as bad as when me and this new girl broke up...how is that possible ...how can i be with someone for years and just leave her and then be with some one for a couple months and grow such an attchment to her like no other......i am head over heels for this girl.....put it this way i would give up all that i am, all that i have worked for, all my education, all my hobbies, and all my life to be with her....she makes me feel like i have never felt, like what u see in the movies or what u read about in Shakespeare...she is every love song ever written and every sunrise we face...she is more then words can decribe.....when i was with her i noticed something different about me...i noticed that i didnt think of any other girls , i didnt try and hook up with any girls and i didnt even care about any other girls...taht was a first for me....and now every single girl i see i compare to her...i watch the show Friends and i see her non stop in Jennifer Anniston, i go to a club and i see her eyes on the hottest girl, when i sleep she is in my dreams, and when i breathe she is my air...how can this be so...was i enver in love before is this my real TRUE first love.....i mean even though she isnt with me , just knowing she is on this earth makes me smile...
To basically sum it all up in a short way i wrote the following to explain the EXACT way i truly feel about this girl the day i first saw her..and here it goes......
"I never was struck before that hour -
With love so sudden and so sweet -
Her face, it bloomed like a sweet flower -
And stole my heart away complete -
My face turned pale as deadly pale -
My legs refused to walk away -
And when she looked, what could i ail -
My life and all seemed to turn to clay -
And then my blood rushed to my face -
And took my eyesight quite away -
The tree's and bush's round the place -
Seemed midnight at noon day -
I could not see a single thing -
Words from eyes did start -
They spoke, as chords do from the string -
And blood burnt round my heart -
Are flowers the winters choice -
Is love's bed always snow -
She seemed to hear my silent voice -
Not love's appeal to know -
I never saw so sweet a face -
As that i stood before -
My heart has left its dwelling place -
And can return no more"...........
I wrote that for her and i can honestly say i LOVE this girl with all that i am and all that i will be...sorry for rambling on and i appreciate the ears u have shared.....wish me luck and say your prayers cus i would die to have this one sweet love......,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"MARYANN....I LOVE U" |
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| hypronix |
the way you say U feel, I can easily understand it... I mean, I met a girl this summer, it was love at first night (no, I am not reffering to anything sexual, we do not base our relationship in anyway on anything sexual-related - both yet virgins), and we've been together for 4 months now... it's been Heaven and Hell, cuz it hurts me to see her, to see so much beauty on this Earth, to know how much she suffers becasue of the people around us...
anyway, nothing bad happened to us yet... but I would be wrecked if anything like that would...
U don't exactly have anything to lose if U go and talk with her... but don't be to pushy, by what I know girls tend to be scared and go away from such person, freightened maybe by their insistence. so do it once and only once, try and get all Ur things straight before U meet...
on the other hand, sometimes U need to know how far to "beg". because if she knows U'll do everything and anything for her, she'll just play you, and there's no use in that, just more sufference. or she would go out with U, for a while, out of mercy... it's up to U to judge that, because U know her better then we could, so...
I know the answer might not be very clear. that's because it is different, from case to case, and nobody can give a really good, that "best" advice in such circumstances. in the end, the decission is Urs.
but let's just say if the girl 'm with would lave me the way U did, I'd ask her once, to straighten things out. I deserve a reason, for all the night unslept, thinkin' of her, and all the days my only goal was sein' her, pleasin' her. so I would go for it once, that's all. I can't really say U have done so yet, tho some attempts u said there were.
if she comes, don't try to make her come back to you, if she does it is very probably it is either just sex or pity... but ask for a reason, U have this right. and if she doesn't give U one, I would say to her "I guess I never really knew U" and I would leave. that sorrow, believe me, it's easier to take then the pain she might continue to cause.
luck! and sorry if I have repeated my ideas in this post... |
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| ABTsportsline |
I understand your plight d00d. I've felt the same way about people in the past. Half the problem is you get worked up so much over your own obsession for her that it blows it up more than what it really is. In other words, I wouldn't necessarily call it love. Its too early in the game for that. (No, i dont believe in love at first site - i believe in LUST at first site)... but i wouldn't necessarily call this lust - more like an obsession (mix of love/lust)....
And absence makes the heart grow fonder, so her being away for a long time right after you met her, that kinda explodes your mind with the few short weeks you had together in the beginning.
Sounds like to me that she was just in it for the physical lovin'... doesn't sound like she was really into you in a "love" or "relationship" kinda way. Don't be hurt by that though, i've known some girls like that and they are NOT the girls you want to get emotionally involved with.
You have to look at it this way: better that you found this out now than a year down the road with her, where you would have been in a serious depression.
I am no expert on relationships, but i've seen this stuff before (and experienced it too).... you eventually will put it past you - the key is to go hang out with your friends, try not to think of her... basically engage yourself in any activity that doesn't make you remember or think of her. Don't call her, and definitely, definitely don't sleep with her. As tempting as it may be, that will only open more wounds and make the situation worse.
I think she's already made it clear that she doesn't have any interest in a relationship, just a 'friends with benefits' type thing. It would only be in your best interest in NOT sleeping with her. (this is funny, b/c usually the guy and girl roles are reversed in this kind of relationship)....... just look at it from the other view - if YOU were the guy wanting only sex, and SHE was the girl wanting the relationship, and you know how girls always say "i won't sleep with you anymore till you go 'out' with me....." yeah yeah yeah, i know that stuff! :p
well, throw that down on her and see what she says.... she will HAVE to give you a reason for not wanting a relationship. and if she says you're not her type for dating, then you know that it would never have worked out. And if this is the case you know she's not your soulmate. it was simply a physical attraction for her and that was it.
Also sometimes girls get freaked out when some guy obsesses about them and they push you away..... happened to me before too. Sometimes you can go "overboard" with all the stuff you do and say, and it freaks a girl out. she may like you, but is not "obsessed" with you, and i think a girl's natural reaction is to push the guy away, to create a distance. Maybe if next time you talked to her you didnt act so excited, just act like she's another person, that might be better?
dunno, hope this helps. and i feel for you, i've been there :)
-ABT- |
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| hypronix |
agree with ABT above, seems she wants more the "benefits" then she wants U. it's bad when this happens, cuz maybe U love her and she doesn't...
don't seem like a fool. don't show Ur feelings immediately, let some time pass, and then see if she asks U anything or if she says anything that would point she is willing to go out again. and don't go straight to her bed for once! |
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| Sir. Lunchalot |
Besides that I feel for you, don`t forget one thing:
You talk like you truely and deeply love her. Some people never find someone they really love and never get to know this wonderful feeling. That`s a gift. Don`t forget that with all the hard feeling you have. Think of the precious you two had and then feel what you felt then. This is the highest form of feeling (maybe except for trance music;) ) you`ll ever feel. |
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| Tranzmit |
Yup i go with ABT on this one. It sounds like the feelings you're having aren't as strongly felt by her (if at all) and she's either keeping you at a distance because you're madly in love with her obviously and you've scared her a bit or because she was just in it for the fun.
The WORST thing you can do here is to act too desperate and attached as at this point there's no room for that anymore and it'll only make this situation deteriorate. So just spend time with her, do some fun stuff together, chill out ,make her laugh but don't whatever you do get too emotional and clingy as she's obviously not there with you on this and it'll make the situation worse. Just spend time together and have fun and she'll maybe even start to like you again.... (BIG maybe)
I feel for you cuz i've been in situations similar to this and i know what a heart thats just been put pureed in the blender feels like. All thats left is a bleeding mess of emotion and agony and it's a similar feeling to an addiction you can't feed. But don't worry as give it a good few months and that heart will repair slowly and you MAY even love again (mind you i haven't since my heart got broken but i will eventually...i think) |
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| tiesto14 |
Hey whats up…..i read all your responses and this may sound corny to some, but while I was reading them I actually began to have tears come to my eyes….i appreciate all that u have written and it means more then u would ever know…sincerley thank you so so much…its nice to see there are people out there who are real and don’t put up a front cus they think if they show their real emotions people will laugh….so I thank u again from my heart…………
Heres my follow up on the story………….
She called me……and very few words where said….she said “ Hi…look maybe u should go out tonight cus I don’t hink I am coming out tonight and I wanted to let you know”…I asked her if I could call her later and if she might change her mind…she said she was positive………………………………………it really hurts so much…………………………………………
She came home and saw all her friends….what about me……..am I that bad………..i cant stop fuken crying…..i just wanna see her………this is the worst…I once again built myself up to see her and I cant…..would it kill her that much to come see me for 2 hours or even 1 hour….she knows it would mean the world to me…..
I feel like my heart is going to burst…..all the oceans in the world cant hold all these tears I am crying………deep down inside I knew she wasn’t going to come see me…but for a moment I thought she would……..and now that moments gone…….i don’t understand why she cant sacrifice a little of her time to make someone that loves her so so much happy…….she said go out…are u serious????…I cant go out , I wanna seee her……
Why cant I forget her….WHY….oh my god , all I wanna do is love someone like her and be loved back….she is everything to me, everything I know is worthless without her to adore……maybe I should’nt of called her to begin with…I don’t know….but what I do know is that I did and now I am lost again…..….I am the one who will be up all night listening to sad tracks and love songs, I am the one who will be missing her, I am the one who will love someone more then words can describe and she is the one who will go out again tonight with her friends and never give me a thought….to her I guess I am some stupid obsessive guy who loves her like a loser……..and she is right I am pathetic…..I would love to tell her all thses things I have shared with you..but I am scared it will scrae her away even more then she is now……….but what do I do…hide my feelings , pretend they don’t exist……I cant……….
This is goijng to be a long night for me…….i wont be able to sleep…….why do always fall victom to this crap….why cant I be like evry other guy, and be like who cares……..I guess I am too sensitive or maybe I am just a big freaken LOSER…I don’t know……….
I would give up everything to just hold her in my armsssssssssssssssssssssssssss……….she is so wonderful to me….i feel like absolute right now….i wanna go sit in a dark room and cry…..this is really painful…..She didn’t even give it a chance…she could of just came out and tried,. I figure she HATES me….because I know I would not even let a enemy suffer as bad as she is making me…..all those butterflys in my stomach that we all love have turned into terrible pains that feel as if they are tearing me apart from all ends….I hope one day I can get over her…and give this love to soemone worthy of it…..
On my own…. I have tried to make the best of it alone…. I have done everything I can to ease the pain……But only she can stop the rain….I just cant live without her…..i miss everything about her…..
Just when I thought I was over her…and just when I thought I could stand on my own…those memories come crashing through…So theres no sense in pretending….my heart ….its not mending…….. |
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| djgarfield |
| quote: | Originally posted by tiesto14
On my own…. I have tried to make the best of it alone…. I have done everything I can to ease the pain……But only she can stop the rain….I just cant live without her…..i miss everything about her…..
Just when I thought I was over her…and just when I thought I could stand on my own…those memories come crashing through…So theres no sense in pretending….my heart ….its not mending…….. |
Hey Tiesto14. Read your post and couldn't help but reply. I understand what your going through. I've been going through the same thing myself. Just wanted to let u know, thats its allright to be hurt and to grieve over her. You are in love with her and thats why the pain is so great. The only advice i can give is this, know that u did everything possible to make this work. After that, its really out of your hands. You can wake up every morning and look at yourself in the mirror and know that u have nothing to be ashamed of. She just wasn't ready. There will be others. I guarantee it. Then all this pain and suffering will fade when you find the person who's ready to share and return the love u so readily give. Best of wishes my friend and take care. |
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| Juricimo |
| quote: | Originally posted by tiesto14
This is goijng to be a long night for me…….i wont be able to sleep…….why do always fall victom to this crap….why cant I be like evry other guy, and be like who cares……..I guess I am too sensitive or maybe I am just a big freaken LOSER…I don’t know……….
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ok, here we go....dude, i kinda felt the same way about a girl i knew in the past, but i'm not going to say as strongly as u feel.
Nontheless, i know what it feels like, plus the girl i'm talking about ended up cheating on me with my now ex-best friend!....sooooo...it was hard at first to lose a best friend who i trusted so much, and a girl who i really liked and appreciated!....so my advice to you is to try to get over this.....I KNOW IT HURTS to lose, and it will hurt for some time...
I really dont think that she is good for you at all, in other words you are too good for her, especially with her causing soo much pain to you, and she knows it!!!! NOW THAT'S JUST PLAIN CRUEL, SELFISH, dude, let her be, dont EVER call her again, or talk to her EVER again....
you will never forget her, but there will be one day, when you just will not care for her anymore, that might be soon, or it might take a long time....
once again, you're too good for her, get ur life back on track, it's her loss NOT yours!!!!! you being kind to her and stuff and her treating you worse than ....
take care of yourself, and try to apply some of the things some of the ppl including myself had said!
->JM<- |
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| AnotherWay83 |
d00d...hate to break it to you this way...but u're a BIG FAT LOSER.
can't u c, she was using u for the sex, u should've just enjoyed it that way, i bet if u had been cool with it, u would still be sleeping with her every now and then, u would be enjoying urself, she would continue to be the hoe that she obviously is...LOL...u c, hoes hate getting in relationships, so u scared her away with ur feelings
get away from her before they put u in an asylum is what i'm trying to say
yeah it'll be hard but u'll be much stronger after it's done, such won't bother u ever again
ok now send her to ME LOLOL
peace |
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| hypronix |
| It takes two to love! |
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| dj alonzo |
Don't ever call her again!
I mean, she doesn't deserve you.. you treat her as nice as someone could she treats you like .. and that, my friend, is pure evil.. she's just being cruel to you, it's pretty obvious that she doesn't care for you... so try to think less as possible of her, and time will heal the pain, guranteed.
Just, go on, live your life.. try dating other girls without comparing them to her, start doing something that will distract you mind.. a hobby, a sport, something. you'll get over her, it might take some time but you will eventualy.
Remember that u were as good as it gets to her and she blew it, it's her loss - not yours. she's just stupid for letting such a chance go away, so get over her.. and most important, try not to get any contact with her - don't call her, if you bump into her in the street just say hi and leave.. she doesn't deserve you thinking of her, she doesn't deserve your time. |
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