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-- This has been weighing on my mind…..
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As the resident South American, I'm sort of surprised by the lack of references to cleaning ladies, maids, and dulce de leche filled churros around here. I could've mentioned it all before, sure, but it's so common here I may have taken it for granted.
Anyway, we usually outsource the weekly vacuuming to the cleaning lady whenever possible, and it's pretty handy and affordable, although I suspect this kind of service might be a bit more expensive abroad. Sure, there are places we think it would be best she didn't vacuum as she may break stuff, such as my studio and my wife's atelier, so that's up to us. Still, all help is welcome 
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| Originally posted by ziptnf So who plays me in this movie, a young Clint Eastwood, or maybe someone modern like Timothee Chalamet? |
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| Originally posted by SYSTEM-J You can be very forceful to someone without doing anything physically threatening to them. |
Well yes, obviously don't be a fucking fool about it and threaten to smash her phone in earshot of someone. But just assert yourself, for the love of god.
I get it: some people have no stomach for confrontation. It's not something I've ever struggled with, as you might imagine. I just get vicariously angry when people tell stories of how they're being pushed around or exploited by other people because they have weak boundaries.
Agree with that. It's pretty close to some "poor me" victim shit I can't stand (speaking generally, not about You, Nick).
I understand where you're coming from, but he's not Singularity55, and there's no reason to doubt Nick can stand for himself (he's going through with the divorce after all, instead of wallowing in self-pity and riding the sausage carousel he was once married to "for the kids").
It's about being smarter, rather than being a doormat. There's a whole range of options that, if necessary, will be more beneficial to him for drawing boundaries than channeling his inner Jason Statham
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| Originally posted by Silky Johnson Agree with that. It's pretty close to some "poor me" victim shit I can't stand (speaking generally, not about You, Nick). |
I think there's plenty of room for some subtle threats there. Telling her how it is with that tingly sensation in your upper chest is catharsis, not calling her a fucking Cum Hot Pocket or what ever on a forum.
Can we talk about vacuuming, guys?
I think I'll need a new model for my apartment. Any suggestions?
Electrolux has never failed me. We've got an Electrolux here, I used one in Korea and grew up with my parents' Electrolux they bought in Europe, and they all sucked. Which is kind of what they're supposed to do so, yeah, go 'Lux.
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| Originally posted by ziptnf Can we talk about vacuuming, guys? I think I'll need a new model for my apartment. Any suggestions? |
In all reality, my approach right now is to not rock the boat. The final agreement is about to drop and I'm days from moving out. She does help with things like the kids baths and sometimes she unloads the dishwasher. She definitely does suck (lolol) but I'm going to avoid big blowups where she could get her attorney involved in adjusting custody in any way. I'm just biding my time til I can get the fuck out of here and move on with my life.
If I were you, I'd leave some packages of uncooked meat tucked in the heating vents on or shortly before the day you leave for good.
Yeah that should go over well when the prospective house buyers are walking through. I've worked my ass off to get this house ready to sell. This bitch isn't getting the house too. It's not like she would do anything to get rid of the smell.
So, like, check this out – I just scored this, uh, Electrolux Ultimate800™ Complete Home Vacuum thing. It's like, not just a vacuum, but a cleaning buddy that kicks ass.
I got some sort of shark stick vacuum with the carpet bristles on the bottom. Before this vacuum I had to use a fabric comb to get all the dust out. The canister is small so if your place is particularly dusty you might have to empty it twice. Also having to cut my partner’s hair out of the bottom is nasty
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| Originally posted by ziptnf Yeah that should go over well when the prospective house buyers are walking through. I've worked my ass off to get this house ready to sell. This bitch isn't getting the house too. It's not like she would do anything to get rid of the smell. |
In other news, Lira apparently works for Electrolux? Congrats Lira!
Thanks! If you buy our Ergorapido™ Vacuum today on our website you get 50% the retail price. You know why?
Because we're romantics, and we want all Americans to have access to passionate and vigorous suction in the comfort of their home, for cheap. Because you know who likes sucking for cheap?
That's right, Electrolux 
Does it guarantee rapido satisfaction?
Yes. We offer world renowned hoses and blows
That's just because you're a beta cuck, Zak McWhack.
I have a spray bottle of water I use on my girlfriend when she isn't doing what she is supposed to. To her it started out as innocent, giggly fun, but unbeknownst to this lazy little ****, I've been adding more and more vinegar into the bottle gradually. What started out as a refreshing little squirt is now a thundering blast of get-off-your-ass. I have successfully conditioned her to start her chores immediately if I walk past with the spray bottle in hand.
Men, take notes. It's not ideal, but it's a step in the right direction in your relationship.
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| Originally posted by Zak McKracken If by beta you mean respect for women then yes that is me I’m a feminist, I’m not a bully nor a lord of flies. I’m a bit surprised to see this kind of attitude from you of all Jack, seemingly you have shown intelligence for more than a decade on this forum, maybe you’re just getting old and bitter - I can’t envision you act out this in real life to be honest and I’m sure if you think about it taking someone’s phone and turning it off and keep it until the other person does what you want is both threatening and violent behavior no matter if you’re small or not. |
I think it should be noted that in a healthy relationship there wouldn’t be a Mexican standoff over these matters, and the situation mentioned was that the women in question can not be removed from the house otherwise she gets everything.
JEO, I will steal this method. My partner prefers vinegar to water though. I think I’ll switch it to lemon juice on the asshole
Christ, this is idiotic even by your standards. Where do I even begin?
1. If a mother pulls something sharp out of their child's hands, they haven't been violent towards a child. When a kid plucks something out of another kid's hands to prank them and throws it to a friend, their parents don't get hauled into school over their violent behaviour. It's just not a violent act, and you've just invented an arbitrary difference here in your imagination.
2. "Verbal violence"? What does that even mean? Who hasn't committed "verbal violence" during an argument? That's what an argument is. And believe me, they're very much a level playing field between the sexes. Do you think a woman is physically incapable of pulling an object out of a man's hands? Do you think a frustrated wife has never done that to get her husband to listen?
3. Why the almighty fuck would my partner be carrying pepper spray or a knife on them at home with me? And are you suggesting that a woman can get a knife from the drawer and stab a partner for taking a phone out of her hand and the law will side with her? You're playing the "I'm a respectful feminist" card, but it actually sounds like you're blurting out that "Society is totally skewed in favour of women" red pill shit I've seen you dribble all over this forum in the past.
I suspect the point you're fumbling towards trying to express is that conventionally when someone removes themselves from an argument by placing some kind of physical boundary between themselves and the other - by going into another room or demonstratively picking up a device - it's seen as "controlling" or domineering if the other person disrespects that boundary and forces the argument to continue.
What this blindsides us to is that refusing to have a discussion that needs resolving and instead sulking or shutting down the conversation is actually more toxic in a relationship and just as "controlling". And people who try to manipulate situations in their favour with such passive aggressive tactics are often shocked when you violate these boundaries they usually exploit.
In the case of Nick, his soon to be ex-wife has committed an enormous betrayal and wreaked incredible emotional trauma on him. For her to then continue to flaunt this in front of him with nakedly disrespectful lazy behaviour is a micro aggression bordering on macro. And yet as a society we seem to say that plucking a phone out of someone's hands and saying "I'm not going to allow this behaviour to go unchallenged" is a shocking, transgressive act, somehow more unacceptable than everything she has done. It isn't, actually. It won't harm her physically or emotionally in the slightest. And that's the difference between people being controlled by others and the people who don't allow it to happen to them.
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