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-- How to wash a cat...


Posted by Fir3start3r on Dec-28-2004 05:03:

Jester How to wash a cat...

I just had to post....lol

quote:

Instructions on cat grooming product, simplified for your convenience:

1. wet cat thoroughly
2. apply product and comb through cat’s wet coat.
3. keep cat from grooming for 10 minutes.
4. rinse product thoroughly off of cat.
5. dry cat to make sure (product) is completely off cat.

Actual sequence of events:

0. cat senses you’re up to no good, hides under table.
0.2 cat runs under couch.
0.4 cat resists being picked up.
0.6 cat realizes it is being brought towards the sink.
0.8 mortal komcat!
1. wet cat thoroughly
1.2 put cat back in water and get another 1% of cat wet before cat gets out again.
1.4 amazingly, cat has managed to writhe into a position where she’s holding herself away from the faucet with all four legs, her head, and her tail.
1.6 reassure kitty that everything’s okay, yank head back to avoid claw in eye.
1.8 wet cat the rest of the way.
2. apply product and comb through cat’s wet coat.
2.2 apply product with one hand while holding cat with the other
2.4 cat lunges for freedom, hides in bedroom.
2.6 find cat in box, continue grooming.
2.8 box falls to shreds, cat’s coat is fully combed through.
3. keep soaking wet cat from grooming for 10 minutes
(no, really. these people are insane.)
4. rinse product thoroughly off cat.
4.2 carry festival of whirling sharp claws back to bathroom.
4.4 put cat near stream of water.
4.6 every movable object in the bathroom falls to the floor as cat struggles in matrixesque bullet-time and attempts to propel herself through ceiling.
4.8 cat gets washed.
5. dry cat thoroughly.
5.2 chase cat around apartment with towel.
5.4 wrap cat in towel, fluff dry.
5.6 cat gets out of towel.
5.8 see 5.4
6. cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.2 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.4 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.6 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.
6.8 cat stares balefully from the top of a bookshelf.

>>Sou rce<<
it's funny cause it's true...


Posted by Jem_hadar on Dec-28-2004 05:13:

As a HUGE cat lover, I mu5t say this is thread is so funny!

It was the perfect thread to cheer me up tonight! I just loved it. So cute and so true and yes, so hilarious!

I can soo picture my little Fluffas or Bubbas doing that if I had the "nerve" (according to their mindset anyways, I'm sure) to try and bathe them! LOL

I love this post!


Posted by RobbyG. on Dec-28-2004 05:15:

VERY funny ....As a cat person (but not an owner) i can relate.My parents have 2 cats and they are funny to watch...One is very social & the other is timid


Posted by Jem_hadar on Dec-28-2004 05:21:

quote:
Originally posted by RobbyG.
VERY funny ....As a cat person (but not an owner) i can relate.My parents have 2 cats and they are funny to watch...One is very social & the other is timid




EXACTLY the same situation with our kitties! Little Fluffas is very fuckn afraid of all persons new (he only can be picked up by me or my brother, and he likes my mom now... even my Dad or Mac (friend who lives with us) cant go near him w/o him getting nervous and very upset.

Then theres Bubbas, first thing she does when she sees someone, anyone, is roll over on her back so that you can pet/rub her big belly!

(We figure thats prolly why she got pregnant so fast when we first got her!)


Posted by tha_broad on Dec-28-2004 06:43:

Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.

1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible

Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws

This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|


(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho )

{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit)


Posted by Nrg2Nfinit on Dec-28-2004 06:56:

quote:
Originally posted by tha_broad
Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.

1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible

Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws

This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|


(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho )

{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit)



you should sell your recipe to KFC



Posted by Magnetonium on Dec-28-2004 08:19:

Thumbs up

I love cats, and so I love the joke too! Two thumbs up!


Posted by VERTiG0 on Dec-28-2004 11:49:

My kitty is currently napping in my lap


Posted by jester_ on Dec-28-2004 15:07:

Jester

quote:
Originally posted by tha_broad
Heres another way that worked for me, but you have to have shower doors, not a shower curtain.

1. Get kitty to come to you, by acting all nice. Treats usually work.
2. Bring kitty into the bathroom.
3. Shut the door behind you. (this is important, or else youll kitty)
4. Turn the water on and set it to a normal temperature
5. Turn Shower on.
6. Grab Kitty and throw him in the shower and close the door as fast as possible

Kitty will most likely cry and make noises you never thought it could. Make sure to have plenty of towels around for when its time for kitty to come out. Watch out for flying claws

This is actually quite fun to do. A friend of mine recommends drying him in the oven :|


(ps. Im a cat person, I have 2 and I love em to death. I only did this to one of them tho )

{edit: i didnt do the oven bit, just the shower bit)


I recommend this method... I loved having those doors... How is Romy and Pookie?


Posted by Playa24_7 on Dec-28-2004 17:16:

hahaha jokes! only one of my cats your able to watch, its a pure chillin cat, the rest, watch out! luckily they all only have back claws


Posted by tha_broad on Dec-28-2004 17:54:

quote:
Originally posted by jester
I recommend this method... I loved having those doors... How is Romy and Pookie?


Romy's fat as always, and Pookie, hes spooked by everything. Then again hes been put in an oven (Sean), accidentally locked in the fridge for half an hour (oops me), thrown in the shower (muahahah you and I) ..god knows what else hes brought upon himself.....he stays away from all kitchen appliances tho :S


Posted by Dancing*Queen on Dec-28-2004 22:07:

HE HE HE

Cute! My kitties are currently chasing each other through my apartment....


Posted by dallastar on Dec-28-2004 22:14:

Thumbs up thanks Fir3start3r

I love Cats!




nice to see another person startign a cat lover's thread! hahahaha


Posted by Jem_hadar on Dec-29-2004 06:07:

My Bubbas is currently lying down trying to sleep on my bed...

but shes doing this thing she always does before she actually goes to sleep where she like tenses her feet/claws on my bed covers... like, she squeezes her paws (digs her claws into) on the sheets then releae them,... its strange.. my other cat never does that.....


ANybody have ANY idea whut im talking about ?
(probably not)


Posted by Fir3start3r on Dec-29-2004 06:14:

quote:
Originally posted by Jem_hadar
My Bubbas is currently lying down trying to sleep on my bed...

but shes doing this thing she always does before she actually goes to sleep where she like tenses her feet/claws on my bed covers... like, she squeezes her paws (digs her claws into) on the sheets then releae them,... its strange.. my other cat never does that.....


ANybody have ANY idea whut im talking about ?
(probably not)


I know what you're talking about...
I think it's like....teething for cats


Posted by tha_broad on Dec-29-2004 06:45:

I know what your talking about. My cats do it all the time. Its almost like kneading, kind of like how they find the nipples on the mama cat when they're kittens.


Posted by nycionx on Dec-29-2004 07:09:

http://s95399007.onlinehome.us/upload/wet_pussy.wmv


Posted by muzzybear on Dec-29-2004 19:59:

quote:
Originally posted by tha_broad
I know what your talking about. My cats do it all the time. Its almost like kneading, kind of like how they find the nipples on the mama cat when they're kittens.


My gray and while cat Muzz would get all happy and suck his back toe and do that kneeding thingon either side of his foot. His fur was permanently yellow on his back foot. We used to call him "mitter toe suck" when he did that. So cute!


Posted by Jem_hadar on Dec-29-2004 20:42:

quote:
Originally posted by Fir3start3r
I know what you're talking about...
I think it's like....teething for cats


quote:
Originally posted by tha_broad
I know what your talking about. My cats do it all the time. Its almost like kneading, kind of like how they find the nipples on the mama cat when they're kittens.


YES YES, thats exactly whut it is... those were the words I couldnt think of when i was trynig to describe it... hehehe, i think its cute watching my kitty do that... she just appears to love it so much... and u know shes always purring when she does it too! awwwww



quote:
Originally posted by nycionx
http://s95399007.onlinehome.us/upload/wet_pussy.wmv


OH OH, and get this, my cat was sleeping on my bed when i clicked on the link... IMMEDIATELy that cat in the video starts meowing... the next instant, Bubbas is up and on my desk starring blankly into my 2 closest speakers.... shes really confused... u can see the concentration in her face as shes trying to identify where the noise is comign from (since she hears it coming right from a speaker, but cant smell or see another cat)... its was sooooo cute!!


it took her about 5 minutes of that on loop before she got too confused by it and jumped onto my lap to go to sleep while i sit here and tell yall about it........


Posted by GMonkey69 on Dec-31-2004 01:59:

If I even attempted this with my 20lb Goofy...I would surely be dead...

Thankfully, he keeps himself pretty clean...

This is a great thread...


Posted by RobbyG. on Dec-31-2004 05:20:

Re: thanks Fir3start3r

quote:
Originally posted by dallastar
I love Cats!


I wonder if kitty looked like my avatar when it was gonna be washed



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