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-- JFC I'm 45 today! Discuss your midlife crisis and age-related problems, COR wh00r3s!
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JFC I'm 45 today! Discuss your midlife crisis and age-related problems, COR wh00r3s!

Problems with age: depression and social anxiety worsen exponentially each year; insomnia worsens, and I now wake up at 11:50 PM instead of 2 AM.

What about you, fellow COR wh00r3s? Anyone have the walking farts yet? Planetary player, I'm looking in your direction.

I fart 24/7 and wear depends. Some of my shark teeth fell out, I�ll need to get those replaced. I generally smell and feel like a turd. My favourite thing to do is to fart in restaurants.

Tell me more about your lower half?

It's so average it ain't even funny.

I�ll please you for Christmas gifts

Happy birthday you old bastard!!


I farted in the elevator at work the other day, one of those rank silent but violent ones, and it stopped on the second floor to pick people up so obviously I scurried the fuck outta there. I laughed hysterically thinking about those poor people trapped in there with my nasty fart smell. LOL

Thanks! PS, you women....

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Happy birthday you old bastard!! I farted in the elevator at work the other day, one of those rank silent but violent ones, and it stopped on the second floor to pick people up so obviously I scurried the fuck outta there. I laughed hysterically thinking about those poor people trapped in there with my nasty fart smell. LOL

That is a historic achievement I wish I was there

oh dang, that's pretty old!

Getting over colds is not easy any more. Not sure if this is amped up hyper cold or what but going on week 2 and it seems to be clearing up. We will see.

That's Covid-19, Boomer

Happy birthday Mr Zoso and may I wish you another 45 years of steady further deterioration!

quote:

Originally posted by Midlothian That's Covid-19, Boomer

To be fair, I was ill recently for three straight weeks, and tested negative for Covid five times in that spell. Similar story for quite a few people I know. The idea seems to be that our immune systems have withered from all the social distancing and ordinarily mild illnesses are beating our ass as a result.

Oh yes, I was merely attempting to shitpost. I have been remarkably snot free considering what germs and viruses my airways usually seem to attract on an annual basis.

I hope you keep it negative, considering how 'open' England is at present. We here in the Netherlands appear to be on the brink of an actual (near) full lockdown, being decided by the government today.

I got my booster on Wednesday. Have a kid yo, ensures constant exposure to germs lol.

I ate half a leftover chicken shawarma just now when I got home from work and already have very bad gas.

Fuck yea..I�m getting shawarma tomorrow and hopefully get mad has

I have another hilarious work fart story if you're interested.

Yes! This is the content I live for

quote:

Originally posted by SYSTEM-J To be fair, I was ill recently for three straight weeks, and tested negative for Covid five times in that spell. Similar story for quite a few people I know. The idea seems to be that our immune systems have withered from all the social distancing and ordinarily mild illnesses are beating our ass as a result.

Yea it's the same here. The whole house has multiple negative tests. But who knows, it's been going on so long one of the bad few days might have been it. The 3 adults are boosted, but our kids are under 5, so they are still waiting for theirs!

Damn, happy belated birthday, Zoso!

quote:

Originally posted by planetaryplayer Yes! This is the content I live for

Ok well one time, many years ago now, I was working alone on a Sunday in old surgical step down unit. It was a former 4 bed ward room converted into a 3 bed critical care room, with one overflow bed for more stable patients, and the extra (very small) space was the nursing "station". It consisted of a small desk with computers, a med cart, some upper shelving for supplies, and a med fridge.

As I said, I was working alone on a Sunday. The thing about weekends is they are more often slow and quiet than not. There was only one monitored patient in the room, and one stable patient in the overflow bed. I was nearly falling asleep in my chair about 3 in the afternoon so I got up to stretch and move around.

As soon as I stood up I felt my bowels surge and the need to rip a huge fart. I hesitated because I thought "No don't do that, there are people here!" then quickly reminded myself "Eh, it's Sunday! Ain't nobody here gives a shit!" and so I let 'em go. It ended up being another one of those rank silent ones!

Almost immediately after the fucking pharmacy tech came in to restock the med fridge, which was beyond the wall of my fart cloud. It was obvious he could smell it as soon as he passed through the door. He looked me directly in the eye and I panicked. I didn't know what to do! Say "It wasn't me!"?? Acknowledge the smell???

So instead I said nothing, turned around, and awkwardly busied myself at the med cart while this poor bastard stood in my fart cloud restocking the med fridge, also saying nothing.

Longest 2 minutes of my life. I never did see that pharmacy tech again LOL.

I started weightlifting in July. Stronger than ever, but also everything hurts. Win some, lose some.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Ok well one time, many years ago now, I was working alone on a Sunday in old surgical step down unit. It was a former 4 bed ward room converted into a 3 bed critical care room, with one overflow bed for more stable patients, and the extra (very small) space was the nursing "station". It consisted of a small desk with computers, a med cart, some upper shelving for supplies, and a med fridge. As I said, I was working alone on a Sunday. The thing about weekends is they are more often slow and quiet than not. There was only one monitored patient in the room, and one stable patient in the overflow bed. I was nearly falling asleep in my chair about 3 in the afternoon so I got up to stretch and move around. As soon as I stood up I felt my bowels surge and the need to rip a huge fart. I hesitated because I thought "No don't do that, there are people here!" then quickly reminded myself "Eh, it's Sunday! Ain't nobody here gives a shit!" and so I let 'em go. It ended up being another one of those rank silent ones! Almost immediately after the fucking pharmacy tech came in to restock the med fridge, which was beyond the wall of my fart cloud. It was obvious he could smell it as soon as he passed through the door. He looked me directly in the eye and I panicked. I didn't know what to do! Say "It wasn't me!"?? Acknowledge the smell??? So instead I said nothing, turned around, and awkwardly busied myself at the med cart while this poor bastard stood in my fart cloud restocking the med fridge, also saying nothing. Longest 2 minutes of my life. I never did see that pharmacy tech again LOL.

oh man that is so great.

if you are truly blessed with the gift of scent you MUST take a look at this

https://etcanada.com/news/848759/90...farts-in-a-jar/

Not gonna lie, I considered all kinds of suspect easy money schemes when I was paying down my student debt. Never considered farts in a jar though.

Thanks for the bday wishes. 45 is 20 more than I ever expected. Definitely don't want 45 more. Shit hurts enough now, and the memory is far from what it was in my 20s. I got my third Moderna jab last week. I don't know what they put in those, but those are like a tetanus shot on steroids. I've never had such a sore arm, lol. The wife said they had 118 patients on her shift at the urgent care clinic last Sunday. 70 of those between 7 AM and noon. Apparently a shit ton of positive for flu and then a bunch of people that are non-symptomatic, but wanting a rapid COVID test because they have family coming over for the holidays.

I got to choose Moderna or Pfizer. I went with Moderna because it provides a more robust immune response. I also had the mRNA mix for my first two doses so it made sense all around.

I'm so glad I initially waited to get my first two vaccines, as my dosing ended up being the best recommendations. Timing, baby.

I was injected with a lot of shit this year! 3x HPV, 3xCovid, 1 influenza, and 1 tdap booster. Now all I need is to actually catch covid for omega mutant level immunity lulz.

quote:

Originally posted by Silky Johnson Not gonna lie, I considered all kinds of suspect easy money schemes when I was paying down my student debt. Never considered farts in a jar though.

imagine what you could get for shit stained skivvies

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