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The top 5 favourites according to the voices in my head:
- The Netherlands: My
dark orange horse. I don't care what anyone but Joachim Klement says. If he says the Oranje have a shot, I might as well get a two-stripe tattoo down my arms and pray that the ghosts of Cruijff past bless the team. If there's a team whose World Cup victory is long overdue, it's Holland.
- South Korea: Am I biased? Yes. Did they avenge us by beating Germany at the following World Cup, which both explains why I'm biased and why everything is possible? Also yes. Do they have Seoul? Also yes. I rest my case, even if I know these lads won't give my old heart any rest.
- Brazil: Hear me out. I know we're probably the weakest team out of the whole lot here because we staggered through qualifying with all the elegance of a fridge being pushed uphill (I'm not that delusional), but there is a strange pattern in Brazilian football history. And that is, when qualifying looks suspiciously cursed, the World Cup sometimes goes weirdly well. It happened in 2002, and 1994 was not exactly a serene Buddhist meditation either (Thanks, Baggio!). So, do I think we'll win? No. Am I asking way too many rhetorical questions in this post? Yes. Does that make us favourites by default? Also yes. Delulu is our only solulu.
- France: It's not just that I believe France have what it takes to reach a third final in a row. That would be nice. It's not even that I want France to have as many World Cup trophies as Argentina. That would be nicer. It's because I want Macron to descend upon MetLife Stadium, greet the winning team, and then squeeze Trump's tiny little hand in another passive-aggressive handshake. That would be nicest.
- Portugal: I admit this one is personal. Italy already have seven World Cup wins (four as Italy, three disguised as Argentina) and I'm a little sour. Since the whole Portuguese nation is basically Ronaldo and a Brazilian in a trench coat, I feel we can sort of enjoy a vicarious happiness for our brethren across the ocean.
5 favourites I don't think will make it:- Spain: I don't make the rules. The top favourite by betting houses and FIFA Rankings has never won a World Cup somehow, except for Spain in 2010. So they're good, but apparently one can be too good, and they've already pulled it off once. Twice? That's a K-Pop group.
- Argentina: Sure, a team can win back-to-back World Cups. Brazil did it in 1958 and 1962. But we had the world's greatest footballer back then. And, we also had Pelé, not just Garrincha at that.
- Jamaica: The reason I say this is very simple - I made you look, didn't I? You actually had to check whether Jamaica were playing because, if DR Congo and Uzbekistan both made it, why wouldn't Jamaica have joined them, right? But no. They lost the play-off. Football giveth, Axel Tuanzebe taketh away.
- Brazil:Yes, I know I mentioned us among the top five contenders, but all we've got this year is Schrödinger's Seleção - we're terrible unless we aren't. Besides, I mocked our hermanos out of sheer unfounded sibling rivalry, so it would feel dishonest not to make fun of ourselves too, given our recent record. Might as well pretend we're Colombia for better results.
- England: It's not that I don't believe England have what it takes to reach the final. I believe they do. It's not even that I don't want England to match France in World Cup wins and keep the rivalry alive. I sort of hope they do. It's just that they've broken my heart too many times whenever I think they have a shot. It's obvious they always do. Besides, there's a chance they'll melt somewhere between Arlington, Boston and New Jersey like a tactical plan left on a Mini Austin dashboard. I can only hope the air-conditioning is elite. Otherwise, I don't think it's going home this time either, unfortunately.
| quote: | Originally posted by 72hrpartyanimal
How is the US team looking? Lame as usual? |
Let's just say the odds of Trump winning the actual Nobel peace prize are higher than those of the US winning the World Cup on home soil.
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Last edited by Lira on Jun-03-2026 at 23:34
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