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My name is President George W. Bush...here is my resume

*George W. Bush Resume*

Past work experience:
� Ran for congress and lost.
� Bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas, company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
� Bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using tax-payer money. Biggest move:
Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs.
� With father's help (and his name) was elected Governor of Texas.

Accomplishments:
� Changed pollution laws for power and oil companies and made Texas the most polluted state in the Union.
� Replaced Los Angeles with Houston as the most smog ridden city in America.
� Cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas government to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
� Set record for most executions by any Governor in American history.
� Became president after losing the popular vote by over 500,000 votes, with the help of my father's appointments to the
Supreme Court.

Accomplishments as president:
� Attacked and took over two countries.
� Spent the surplus and bankrupted the treasury.
� Shattered record for biggest annual deficit in history.
� Set economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12 month period.
� Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
� First president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
� First president in US history to enter office with a criminal record.
� First year in office set the all-time record for most days on vacation by any president in US history.
� After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.
� Set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips than any other president in US history.
� In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
� Cut unemployment benefits for more out of work Americans than any president in US history.
� Set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12 month period.
� Appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any president in US history.
� Set the record for the least amount of press conferences than any president since the advent of television.
� Signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any president in US history.
� Presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to intervene when corruption was revealed.
� Presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to use the national reserves as past presidents have.
� Cut healthcare benefits for war veterans.
� Set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take to the streets to protest me (15 million people),
shattering the record for protest against any person in the history of mankind.
� Dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
� My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.
� Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history. (the 'poorest' multi-millionaire, Condoleeza
Rice has an Exxon oil tanker named after her).
� First president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union simultaneously go bankrupt.
� Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.
� First president in US history to order a US attack and military occupation of a sovereign nation.
� Created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history of the United States.
� Set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases, more than any president in US history.
� First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the human rights commission.
� First president in US history to have the United Nations remove the US from the elections monitoring board.
� Removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of congressional oversight than any presidential
administration in US history.
� Rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
� Withdrew from the World Court of Law.
� Refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
� First president in US history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 US elections).
� All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.
� My biggest life-time campaign contributor presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in world history
(Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation).
� Spent more money on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
� First president in US history to unilaterally attack a sovereign nation against the will of the United Nations and the world
community.
� First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)
� First US president to establish a secret shadow government.
� Took the biggest world sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year made the US the most resented country in
the world (possibly the biggest diplomatic failure in US and world history).
� With a policy of 'dis-engagement' created the most hostile Israeli-Palestine relations in at least 30 years.
� First US president in history to have a majority of the people of Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to
world peace and stability.
� First US president in history to have the people of South Korea more threatened by the US than their immediate neighbor,
North Korea.
� Changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
� Set all-time record for number of administration appointees who violated US law by not selling huge investments in
corporations bidding for government contracts.
� Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.
� Failed to capture the anthrax killer who tried to murder the leaders of our country at the United States Capital building.
After 18 months I have no leads and zero suspects.
� In the 18 months following the 911 attacks I have successfully prevented any public investigation into the biggest security
failure in the history of the United States.
� Removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any other president in US history.
� In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever
been since the civil war.
� Entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than two years turned every single economic category
heading straight down.

Records and References:
� At least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving record has been erased and is not available).
� AWOL from National Guard and Deserted the military during a time of war.
� Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.
� All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my fathers library, sealed in secrecy and un-
available for public view.
� All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and un-available
for public view.
� All minutes of meetings for any public corporation I served on the board are sealed in secrecy and un-available for public
view.
� Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and un-
available for public review.
� For personal references please speak to my daddy or uncle James Baker (They can be reached at their offices of the Carlyle
Group for war-profiteering.)

Well all that doesn't matter, because he didn't get caught getting a blowjob by his intern. He is therefore an honest truthful man held with great integrity, and a helluva President! You just remember that, and we'll be okay, you'll see!

I think he got the job!

that little tidbit of information is quite interesting, yet (i know this knowledge first hand becuase i've lived in the south) most Americans in the Southern states, including Texas hail Bush as the best President ever!

Really? He's very popular with Northern folk as well, especially blacks, Jews, Hispanics and the poor

quote:

Originally posted by Galapidate Really? He's very popular with Northern folk as well, especially blacks, Jews, Hispanics and the poor

I lived in Dallas Texas for the last 3 years.. lived there during 9/11 and all that.. The opinion of the south is one of "get them all" "we want revenge" although ofcourse i'm generalizing.. but that was the general view of most Texans, with a whole hearted belief that Bush is here to sort it all out! Y'all .. By the way, before they were extremely racist against Muslims.. before 9/11 .. It was the Mexicans that got it all. I have never heard as many racial slurs towards Mexicans as Pre-9/11 Dallas

^I don't even know how to reply to what you just said.

quote:

Originally posted by Galapidate ^I don't even know how to reply to what you just said.

ehh don't bother, I once got sat down by 8 of my classmates who decided to let me know that my religion (eventhough i'm not at all religious) is wrong, and that I should go to church with them, and that if I don't I'm going to hell. (no embelishment, those were the exact words). Its a small wonder that we, as a global population get along at all sometimes and be able to see past our blind ignorance and stupidity.

I hope one day religion becomes illegal

quote:

Originally posted by Cyrus King I hope one day religion becomes illegal

Its incredible to me how something that is suppose to bring hope, and peace and life to man, and stands for everything good.. breeds so much hate and violence.

quote:

Originally posted by drgoodvibe Its incredible to me how something that is suppose to bring hope, and peace and life to man, and stands for everything good.. breeds so much hate and violence.

Very true.

You also forgot that it breeds extreme ignorance

with all those accomplishments how can he not be re-elected?

quote:

Originally posted by Cyrus King Very true. You also forgot that it breeds extreme ignorance

hah I forgot the most important one!! thanks for reminding me!

quote:

Originally posted by drgoodvibe Its incredible to me how something that is suppose to bring hope, and peace and life to man, and stands for everything good.. breeds so much hate and violence.

I agree.

Konijn: Exactly what accomplishments are you talking about?

quote:

Originally posted by Galapidate I agree. Konijn: Exactly what accomplishments are you talking about?

The ones Bush thought he had under his belt while he was stoned from all the pot!

Someone posted this before, and my response is the same as before. He's done a lot of stupid stuff, no doubt, but to be fair half the stuff you listed is either inacurate or hardly his fault.

quote:

Originally posted by Cyrus King I hope one day religion becomes illegal

Ah, that would be such a glorious day for mankind.

haha

quote:

Originally posted by Nadi Someone posted this before, and my response is the same as before. He's done a lot of stupid stuff, no doubt, but to be fair half the stuff you listed is either inacurate or hardly his fault.

Like what?

quote:

Originally posted by DrummeRaver86 Like what?

Ill list em all, or all I can be bothered too:

Traded Sammy Sosa to the Chicago Cubs. Hardly a bad decision when Sosa was traded, he was hitting under 200, with more strikeouts than hits. And I dont think he was even involved in baseball decisions.

� Set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.

I think a large part of that can be blamed on 9/11 and not bush or at least not any of his policies.

� After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Had he been in office would you still have blamed it on him? The U.S intelligence community is a mess, and even while on vacation he got daily breifings.

� After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, presided over the worst security failure in US history.

Again this can hardly be attributed to bush. It can be attributed to 9/11 and the dot com market bursting.

� My presidency is the most secretive and un-accountable of any in US history.

While thats probably true, is there any way to quantify that? It really just sounds like bush hating.

Presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud of any market in any country in the history of the world.

No president ever oversee's stuff like that, its not part of his job, and you can not blame enron on him.

� All-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign donations.

So what? All his donations were well within the limits of the law. Sounds like more bush hating than anything else.

� First president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and then lied saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1)

Come on, don't tell me you wouldnt have been scared as hell too.

� Failed to fulfill my pledge to get Osama Bin Laden 'dead or alive'.

Theres a lot of caves, and there are still people looking for him, he hasnt failed, not yet at least. And even if he does, who cares?

� In a little over two years created the most divided country in decades, possibly the most divided the US has ever
been since the civil war.

Really? Almost all polls show that he has a gicantic aprovel rating, and most of his decisions(Iraq etc) were met with huge public aproval. While I disagreed with them, you can't say it divided the country.

� Refuse to take drug test or even answer any questions about drug use.

Not that its any of our buisness but he has anwsered questions, and admitted to using stuff in the past. Better than clinton with his "I did not inhale" bullshit.

Anyway, it seems to me like a bunch of the stuff you mentioned is either not his fault, or twisted to suit your anti bush feelings.

How can you even try to protect such an idiot as Bush... Yes he is very poular but so what? It's just because of a war he is that popular... He hasn't really done annything good and he don't care about anything else than himself and his US...

quote:

Originally posted by St_Andrew How can you even try to protect such an idiot as Bush... Yes he is very poular but so what? It's just because of a war he is that popular... He hasn't really done annything good and he don't care about anything else than himself and his US...

I don't like bush at all. And the only reason I'm "sticking up for him" is because I absolutly hate when people go and say stuff about another politician that makes them look bad when its not there fault, or they didn't have anything to do with. When he(or any other politician) does something dumb, I'll yell at them. But if they didnt do something, I wont blame them for something just because I dont like them either.

In all honesty, I believe he's conducting all this military action shit just because he knows he wouldn't get support as a president without it (even though lots of people didn't support him in the first place). Other than the ability to "win" a war in Iraq, he has no other admirable qualities about him. He ruined foreign policy, he has no economic or environmental plan, so all he's good for is waging war. (I put "win" like this because it seems more troops are dying after Bush claims major fighting was over).

quote:

Originally posted by Nadi I don't like bush at all. And the only reason I'm "sticking up for him" is because I absolutly hate when people go and say stuff about another politician that makes them look bad when its not there fault, or they didn't have anything to do with. When he(or any other politician) does something dumb, I'll yell at them. But if they didnt do something, I wont blame them for something just because I dont like them either.

I think that most of the blame or claims are made because Bush has not given enough interest or attention to the things mentioned. Not like he cared.. nothing from him shows sympathy, I see more live an image cover up when he does things. Things so little that come out of nowhere proofs it.

quote:

Originally posted by St_Andrew How can you even try to protect such an idiot as Bush... Yes he is very poular but so what? It's just because of a war he is that popular... He hasn't really done annything good and he don't care about anything else than himself and his US...

What have your elected officials done lately?

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