Long-Distance Relationships - TranceAddict Forums

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Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Jul-25-2001 15:44:

Long-Distance Relationships

I wanted some of the TA's thoughts on long distance relationships, preferably opinions from those who have had them. How did the relationship go? Good/Bad? What you did to soften up the distance thing? Etc...
Recently I met a girl in a CLUB!! She's a great girl and lives about 5 hours away from me (in car). I went to see her last weekend, amazing time, but it's just such a pain in the ass not being able to see her now. The phone thing is good but it's still tough. I'm trying to give it a shot and see what happens, nothing to lose! Anyways let's see what's up! Thanx!

ID

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Jul-25-2001 15:47:

WRONG FORUM!!!

ARGH!! Wrong forum, my bad, I could've sworn I was in the Chill-0ut Room!! Anyways, I'd appreciate one of the moderators to move it there! Thanx!

ID

Posted by Metabeing on Jul-25-2001 15:53:

Mine is three hours away....and its not that bad. You just have to look at it the right way. Every couple eventually wants to be able to just go out with their friends with out the significant other, you have that always available.
Second, Separation make the heart grow fonder. Your distance appart will only make the time together that much sweeter.

Meta

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Jul-25-2001 16:02:

Good thoughts

quote:
Originally posted by Metabeing
Mine is three hours away....and its not that bad. You just have to look at it the right way. Every couple eventually wants to be able to just go out with their friends with out the significant other, you have that always available.
Second, Separation make the heart grow fonder. Your distance appart will only make the time together that much sweeter.

Meta

Very very true, Meta, there are some advantages to it. But like she told me, it's always nice to be able to stop by when one's feeling down, happy, worried, etc... but it definitely makes it that much sweeter to see her again after a while apart.

Posted by cdn_trance_boy on Jul-25-2001 16:13:

Not for Me

It's all dependent on how much time you have. I hooked up with a sweet girl from Toronto a few months ago only an hour and a half away. She was a hottie but we just could never hook up. I had to work ahe had to work blah blah blah. We saw each other maybe three times in four months and then we just stopped talking. It was becoming a pain in the ass. Better just to go hook up have your fun and say bye. Long distance phone bills are cheaper too!!I hope it works for ya better than for me Ibiza Dreams.

Cheers

Posted by Metabeing on Jul-25-2001 16:18:

There is always that (^^^^) view, but theres always the chance that it will work out.
Also you said that nice nice to be able to see the person when you are down so you can cheer up, but dont forget the obvious....you have trance to do that too.

Meta

Posted by Gaurave on Jul-25-2001 17:00:

This is a topic that I am all to familiar with. I had a long distance relationship for 3 YEARS! (I am only 20 rite now). I was so in love wihth this girl, we could talk forever about everything. She was hot and reallly smart. She is still a good friend of mine, but 800 miles is a bitch. Long distance relationships seem like a good idea in the beginning, but they usually lead to either heartache or frustration in the end...

Posted by flystyler on Jul-25-2001 17:12:

never had a long distancer, to hard, keep it close i say

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Jul-25-2001 17:31:

Oooof Long time

quote:
Originally posted by Gaurave
This is a topic that I am all to familiar with. I had a long distance relationship for 3 YEARS! (I am only 20 rite now). I was so in love wihth this girl, we could talk forever about everything. She was hot and reallly smart. She is still a good friend of mine, but 800 miles is a bitch. Long distance relationships seem like a good idea in the beginning, but they usually lead to either heartache or frustration in the end...

Wow dude, 3 years at 800 miles, that's pretty admirable or pretty crazy! How often did you see her/visit her, you go by plane/car? It just seems tough to have a serious relationship this way since one main part of it is committment, and if you're so far away, how can you do that? I can really see the frustration in the future if me and her end up working everything out, but hey, at least it'll be fun while it lasts.

ID

Posted by j_spot on Jul-25-2001 17:38:

800 miles..well done!

here me. I live in Calgary, she used to live here but moved to Burlington. WE had been dating for 1.5 years, lated another .5 years, and went at it again when she moved back. Its tough. Very Tough. Would I do it again? ill say no, but if I meet somebody that amazing I might give it a shot.

Posted by SmackdowN on Jul-25-2001 19:00:

waste of time..

The long distance relationships don't work at all. If you're young just have fun, go out and enjoy being single. Don't worry about trying to chase a long distancer just to realize that it's not going to work. Heache though if you have really really strong feelings for the person then all the power to ya. I have just found though that instead of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" its more like "out of sight, out of mind". These are just my experiences though. Good luck to you!

Posted by Thor on Jul-25-2001 19:30:

If I truly met someone that amazing, I would move to be with her, or have her move in with me.

I don't see long distance relationships working, its just too hard, especially for me

Posted by Ibiza Dreams on Jul-25-2001 19:32:

Re: waste of time..

quote:
Originally posted by SmackdowN
The long distance relationships don't work at all. If you're young just have fun, go out and enjoy being single. Don't worry about trying to chase a long distancer just to realize that it's not going to work. Heache though if you have really really strong feelings for the person then all the power to ya. I have just found though that instead of the saying "absence makes the heart grow fonder" its more like "out of sight, out of mind". These are just my experiences though. Good luck to you!

I totally hear ya smackdown, I do have pretty strong feelings (surprisingly) for this girl, and I wouldn't be making an effort if I didn't really like her. The thing is, there is a slim chance that she might come down and get an apartment near me if her job down here comes through in the fall. So I'm really hoping for that, if it doesn't happen, then I'll just let it flow, if it works then good, if it doesn't work, oh well, good experience.

ID

Posted by SmackdowN on Jul-25-2001 19:37:

Hey good to hear!

Ya I guess it's really all you can do is just see what happens then since you really do like her. I recently have had to break up with a girl I lived with for 8 months cuz she can't handle a long distance relationship although she never even tried it. hehe so i am kind of bitter but oh well. If she moves out that would obviously be the best scenario . Hey good luck to you man.

Posted by ABTsportsline on Jul-25-2001 19:49:

I've had 4 long distance relationships, (i travel the world a lot and meet a lot of girls.....), and let me tell you something, they can be so sweet sometimes.... (the highs are high, but the lows are low)...

in the end, i'd say they really don't work (they can only work for so long....) they always start out strong, because of the absence makes the heart grow fonder thing (all you think about are the good times and good traits...).. but after awhile, it gets expensive, and causes more heartaches than anything else...

it just gets expensive with the long distance phone calls, plane tickets and/or gas for car travel, lots of time, etc.... at first you are keeping in contact all the time, so it feels great and such, but towards the end, the communication gets less and less, then suspicions arise as to why she isn't calling as often or sending letters... truth be told, time breaks all long distance bonds i feel... your imagination WILL run away with you as far as to what she is doing up there.. why hasn't she called??? etc, etc, etc...

really it all depends on the girl and situation i guess... i mean, if you found your soulmate, then thats a different story. but just some girl who is hot and smart or something... rare, but not necessarily life-dedication material here. i wouldn't move to be with her... you gotta test out the waters first my friend! (she could turn out to be a total psycho you know!)

just have fun with it, but just dont fall head-over-heels for her, you could end up being wounded emotionally.

-der ABT-

Posted by ABTsportsline on Jul-25-2001 19:53:

Oh yeah, i forgot to mention one of the main problems i've had in the past....

when you have these long distance relationships, you are telling everyone around you that you are "taken" or whatever word you use.... (and this has happened to me before), there probably is a girl that likes you (a good one, too), and she never talks to you because she hears you are "taken".... so if you do do the long distance thing, dont tell any of your friends around where you are, b/c you dont want to take yourself off the market... you never know where Miss Right could be my friend!

-der ABT-

Posted by SmackdowN on Jul-25-2001 19:54:

Very good call. I've been with a psycho and let me tell you it fucked me up bad. Was very emotionally disturbing hehe

Posted by frontebb on Jul-25-2001 20:15:

When its love, distance isn't an issue.
No obstacle is.

Posted by ABTsportsline on Jul-25-2001 20:19:

true, caroline,
but don't you think that so many people are blinded by beauty or infatuation to even realize that it isn't love? i've seen this every day. i feel the word "love" gets thrown around too loosely, that the actual meaning doesn't mean anything anymore. but thats my opinion

cheers,

-der ABT-

Posted by SmackdowN on Jul-25-2001 20:25:

I think that we as a society are way too quick to sy the words "I love you" I think that people feel that it is love just cuz there are butterflies in their stomache. Over the past 4 years I have had 4 girlfriends, all of which I said I love you too. But as soon as each was gone I realised it was not love at all. It has in a way affected me so that I now am going to be a little more careful with the word. Just keep an open mind and everything will take its course. Do you think that people who beat their wives love them? sure they say they do but I can't see how you can hurt something you love?? Society is f@#ked up

Posted by ABTsportsline on Jul-25-2001 20:45:

very true, very true....

Posted by Eugene on Jul-25-2001 21:46:

I don't believe in long-distance relationships.
I think that in order for a relationship to be successful and great, both of you should be physically close to each other, all the time... That way you'll spend more time together, learn more about each other, and get used to being together.

Posted by C-naptik on Jul-25-2001 21:50:

I'm in a long distance relationship that works very very well, it's been 1 year and a half now
I live in France and her in Detroit (i think i beat the distance record of 800 mille )

So for those who say LD relationships can't work...just say that they don't or migft not work for you, don't generalize because that can work perfectly fine

My girlfriend and I are so much in love, i've been one month over her house last summer in the US, and she came to France this year and stayed 2 months and a half...it was so wonderful..
And she just left today....it's so hard...i feel so bad...but we know it's so much worth it, because we intend to marry next year and i'll move to the US

So LD relationships are always possible, only your love and your devotion for this other person count, and it's so rewarding...

I precise that we met online too, but LD relationships that start online are also possible, see ?

Posted by Gaurave on Jul-25-2001 22:18:

Re: Oooof Long time

quote:
Originally posted by Ibiza Dreams

Wow dude, 3 years at 800 miles, that's pretty admirable or pretty crazy! How often did you see her/visit her, you go by plane/car? It just seems tough to have a serious relationship this way since one main part of it is committment, and if you're so far away, how can you do that? I can really see the frustration in the future if me and her end up working everything out, but hey, at least it'll be fun while it lasts.

ID

We both flew wenever we visited each other, but even then it was never really more than a week at a time every couple of months. It was tough just being apart. I had no problem with the committment, she was/is a reallly special person. But yea, the frustration definitely catches up.

Posted by j_spot on Jul-25-2001 23:06:

quote:
Originally posted by SmackdowN
I think that we as a society are way too quick to sy the words "I love you" I think that people feel that it is love just cuz there are butterflies in their stomache. Over the past 4 years I have had 4 girlfriends, all of which I said I love you too. But as soon as each was gone I realised it was not love at all.

THATS BECAUSE THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS INADEQUATE!!!! hell..Im as Canadian as u get. In english, what is there that can be easily used between like and love? NOTHING. Try French for example...sooo many inbetween steps. Really what we need is new words to solve this problem.

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