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What do I do? Freaked
Ok, I just had a very weird experience.
My ex's best friend (or old best friend... I dunno if they are best friends anymore,) called me tonight (not once, but FIVE times). Now, this is weird in itself, as I have never really spoken to him over the phone before, and we were never very close. My ex and I would hang out with him and my girlfriends (probably like 3-4 times in the last three years), but nothing ever more than that. I did however, see him at the bar last weekend, and we chatted a bit.
Anyways, he calls me tonight at 3 in the morning, and I start talking to him, and I ask if he is ok, because I can tell there is something not quite normal about him, (other than the fact that he has called me at 3AM). He goes on to tell me that he is "fucked up" and he has had "too much to drink".
Well, I have had my fair share of drugged up moments, so I can tell that he is not only drunk, and that something else is going on. So I ask, "what else have you done tonight?" And he replies, "nothing, I'm good." So I ask again, "did you just drink? Or did you take something else?"
"Well, I had a little MDMA." 
So I have someone tripping on ecstasy on the other line, and it sounds like he isn't having a very good trip.
I start talking to him, trying to make him feel better, and I get him laughing. I tell him some sweet stories, and I even start talking about how great kittens are. (I know what it is like to have a bad trip!!)
He isn't talking about anything bad, but I can read people, and I can get vibes from things. I can tell that he isn't thinking positively, and that he may be harmful to himself. I ask him where he is, and he tells me that he is on a veranda. I ask him if it is high up, and he says yes. I ask him to please go inside for me, and go in a room with other people. He agrees to go inside, but he wants to be alone... ?
Anyway, we continue talking, and a few minutes later, I can hear wind. I ask him again "where are you? Are you outside?" He says he is, and I again ask him to go back in, because "it'll make me feel better."
I am not feeling comfortable with him being someplace he can jump off of. He is not thinking properly, and I know that he has some issues going on in his life.
As if this isn't weird enough, he goes on to tell me how much he loves me, and how great I am. I reply by saying that he is just as great and that I love him as a friend. I realize this is a "love drug", so I comply, and try to keep him feeling good.
Then I decide that, even though I wouldn't know from experience, as I have never done E, I will play music for him that will make him trip nicely. I know people on E like to listen to hyper music, especially EDM (and I have loads of that).
I crank my speakers and play "Basement Jaxx - Stop for love", I listen into the ear piece, and I can hear wind again! I am freaked out because I am worried that he is going to attempt suicide, and I really wouldn't want him doing that. I ask him to go back inside, and he does. At this point, one of his friends decides to take him for a walk to a big city park (they brought me along via phone.)
His friend ends up passing out hanging off a swing, and the guy I am talking to is grasping onto my voice as a sign of comfort and safety. He wants me to keep talking, even if it makes no sense. So I talk for a while about happy things, and good memories. I get him laughing again, which is great, and I ask if he wants to hear more music.
He says "yes"...
So I try to play something a little more fun and happy, "Scooter - Ramp", and then ironically, I play "Darude - Ecstasy"
He enjoys the last two thouroughly, and he seems to be doing better. I get him to wake the guy that he is with, and tell him to get home and drink some water, and then crawl into bed. He doesn't want to drink water or go to bed because both are "very bad".
Seems like there is no convincing him, so I just continue to say pleasant things, and laugh about nothing. After 2 and a half hours of talking, he decides to hang around the crowd of people at the house he is at, and that he is ok to let me go.
Through out the conversation he asked me multiple times if he could call me, and if he could have my number. (Ummmm, you called me, so I am pretty sure you have my number 
) He told me he loved me several times, and he continuously apologized for bothering me, which I assured him was not a bother at all.
I am not sure how to take this to be honest. I am definitely not going to read into him "loving" me since that was the drugs talking, but what happens if he calls me again? Sober? Drunk? ETC?
How did I handle the situation? Should I tell him I am worried about him? I don't think I really have the right considering I hardly know him.
BLAH... it was weird!
I need to crawl into bed now 
ME SO TIRED!
P.S. Thanks for reading all of this 
It really depends...
You sure he wasnt just saying that as a friendly thing..like you know, "aww! thanks! I love you!"
How did he say it?
Ive also heard of people actually supposidly falling in love from small meetings, like at raves etc...
Mabye he thought he actually felt something since you wherehelping him and staying on the line. Mabye he was just too fucked up to word it very well..he was just complimenting you, but it came out weird.
You know, Im sure if he's sober if/when he calls again, he will probably say sorry and thank you. I mean if he actually feels there was some kind of connection between you two..then you gotta just tell him the situation, and how you were just helping him.
There is really nothing you can do if he calls back messed up again. You can eather choose to help him or you can just let him go. I mean if he is supposidly fucked everytime he calls in the future, I would say there would be something wrong with him, or he is fucking you around. Sounds like a weird night 
Leon
i dunno bout the 'love' part since like you said E makes a person all lovey dovey.
however, I think you should have a talk with him about his drug use. Calling you was obviously a cry for help. It may have been a one off thing, but you should make sure there isn't soem deeper problem. You don't have to go out of your way to help him,and don't feel like you owe hima anything but at least make sure he's ok and refer him to someone who can help if you can't or don't feel comfortable.
We all need a lil help sometimes.
I've heard of people going off the deep end, and the usual symptom if they're doing E is a string of bad trips, so even if you don't want to get involved, get in touch with someone who can help him.
It was the drugs. And chances are that when you ask him what happened tommorow, he'll have forgoten 2/3rds of what happened, or atleast be very apologetic about what he said to you. I know that's how I always am
MDMA doesn't give you "bad trips". He's not going to jump off anything. It usually just makes you feel good and want to talk. It can also impair your judgement. That's probably why he called you. He probably misses you or something.
E can make you act extra lovey. He may not "love" you but probably has some feelings.
He was in an altered state so I wouldnt blame him much for the situtation. He was probably just looking for someone to reach out to and since he saw you at the bar the other day the though and comfort of speaking to you was fresh in his mind. It is possible he didnt like how the people he was with were acting and he was just trying to get away from them and looking for some comfort.
Obviously if he is on E and made actually contacted you he either
A: Has some level of trust with you no matter how small
B: Something around him triggered a thought of you while rolling and he couldn't get you out of his head so he thought he'd call. Which he would normally not do if he was in the right state of mind.
C: Honsestly had some sort of attraction to you the times you had met but was obligated not to go through with any feelings, or was just to shy to let you know.
or
D: He was talking to someone at the party and was getting annoying to that person and the person was a mutual aquaintance and had no regard for you (considering what time it was) and decided he would let him yap your ear off instead.
Dunno..
Any of the above stated reasons would have caused me to call you if I were in his position.
E doesnt make you trip that hard- unless of course its cut with something or done in conjunction with something else.
It WILL make you feel more intensely about how your current mood is.
If you take it when you're depressed or tired- it wont just make you get up and be happy- it will just amplify how you feel. If he was telling you he loved you then he probably does have some feelings for you.
LOL, I've done some really dumb things when I've been messed on E. I've never really had a bad trip though and it doesn't really sound like your friend is having a bad trip.
Sometimes when I get really good E I get this feeling that I just love all my friends and are so happy that they are around me at the moment. I do tell them that I love them LOL. Seems like your friend just wants to chat with you and didn't want to be alone. He's probably very thankful that you're spending the time with him. By morning he'll probably forget about it and apologize afterwards.
I've done more silly things than that. I remember on many occasions where when I got home from a rave I would go and wake up my best friend's sister up at 4 o'clock in the morning while she's sleeping as we got home, just because I needed someone to talk to and cuddle at the time 
Kinda funny now that I think about it and awfully nice of her as she wasn't even annoyed with me while we cuddled and listened to me ramble on nonstop about the dumbest things at 4 in the morning LOL. Hehe, if it was me I'd probably kick the girl out of bed if I was already sleeping.
Damn, you just made me realize how nice my friend was. I'm gonna give her a call.
Trust me, when he says he loves you it means didly squat. He just wants some company at the time.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by BeatFreak MDMA doesn't give you "bad trips". He's not going to jump off anything. It usually just makes you feel good and want to talk. It can also impair your judgement. That's probably why he called you. He probably misses you or something. E can make you act extra lovey. He may not "love" you but probably has some feelings. |
well theresa...just from what you have told me about this guy, and this story about last night, i think he likes you. i think the best course of action for you to take would be to first talk to him while he's sober and tell him how you felt the other night when he called you. if you felt scared for him, tell him that. tell him that he's a nice guy and you'd like to be his friend, but that he scared you the other night when he called up like that.
try to get out of him whatever it is that he feels towards you when he's sober. ask him if there is something that he wants to tell you or something because i personally think that he wants there to be something there, so you should get it out there and let him know that you either also would like that, or that you still have some things that you're dealing with and want to spend some time by yourself for a while (that's the nice way of saying no).
i guess the main thing is, make clear to him that its not ok for him to use your friendship as a way of almost bullying you into a relationship. if he does have feelings for you, its not ok for him to use suicide or any other forms of self hurt as a means of making you date him or whatever. i dunno...that is what kinda bugs me about what you make it sound like...that he has feelings for you and he is trying to put you in a tough spot kinda using your sweet personality against you because you obviously don't wanna seem him do anything stupid.
anyway, hope everything goes ok with that and i'll talk to you later this weekend hopefully.
Forget what Jason said. Hit that shit!
Who knows what that guy was thinking. 
I'm sure we've all done or said some things to people that we really shouldn't have whilst under the influence, I know I have haha. If I were you, I'd ring him up ASAP (i.e. when he's recovered 
) and see how he's doing. Chances are he remembers a fair bit about the night, but he'll probably feel really embarreased about it, so I guess you should just joke with him about it. Give him an opportunity to say something if he's got something to say, but if he doesn't confess to anything (fellings for you etc) then just let him know that you dont think he's some kind of freak or something lol.
That'll make him feel better and hopefully he wont feel so embarrased about the whole situation next time he sees you.
Sounds like you had a crazy night though.
if he was on "e", then he probably does feel that way about you...that drug makes you not give a shit, so you pretty much wear your heart on your sleeve.
just talk to him sober and put him on the spot, asking him how he feels. it's kind of a big no no to go after your bf/gf's friend after you break up...but that also depends on what kind of relationship you had w/ your ex. if your ex was an asshole and treated you like crap and you had a bad break up...then well, if he has a hot friend who is way nicer and genuinely seems to like you, then i say go for it, if you like the guy.
buuut if you just grew apart and still care for each other (you and your ex), then out of respect, don't go there...and neither should his friend.
I've never had a bad experience on E, before the come down anyway, but I have seen a friend come down really quickly and feel shitty because he didn't like the environment we were in. If he was drinking a bunch with it, there is a very good chance he blacked out and won't remember anything. All depends on the person and how much alcohol was mixed. I had that happen to me once, and woke up the next day confused as to what had happened. Didn't remember anything after a certain point. He might remember some of it, but he has probably forgotten most of the conversation. Depending on how you feel about him, you might not want to bring the things you talked about up. He may have browned out, meaning he will remember again if you remind him. I have had that happen a lot on E. It's your call. I wouldn't necessarily worry about him, depending on the frequency of his partying. Tell him you're concerned if it is a common occurence.
you're an awesome friend theresa. It takes a real friend to stick around when things are absolute shit. i would know. if you're so worried about this, give him a call.
OK....
He had been drinking A LOT before he took the E, and he continued to drink after taking it. I dunno how that effects things... ?
I am not trying to say that some of you are wrong, but I know when someone is having a bad trip, and I can guarantee that he certainly wasn't having a good one.
I am concerned because I know that he is a heavy partier. He has been getting into heavier drugs, and been trying more chemicals. This is combined with a very messed up life. He is 20 or 21, he lives with his grandparents because his parents abandoned him. He doesn't have a job because he is such a druggy he can't be bothered. He thinks it is a waste of time, along with sleep. His grandparents want him to get his own place, so now he has a sense of not being wanted at home. My ex and him aren't talking very much because my ex is trying to remove himself from that scene, and he has a new GF he is always with. I am sure there is more to him than that, but that is the surface information I have gathered so far.
He comes off for face value as a VERY happy and friendly guy. But to me, it is clear that he is depressed, and very discontent with life. Those type of people have the worst type of depression. The ones that no one knows is actually unhappy because they can pretend to be happy REALLY WELL! Then suddenly, they do something crazy like commit suicide, and everyone is like "he was such a happy guy," "I had no idea that he was so unhappy" etc. etc.
As for the "love" thing; that is the least of my concerns at the moment. I didn't take that seriously at all, and if that is how he really feels, then it will go unmentioned until he brings it up. I think he is a great guy, and if he could straighten his life out, I would CONSIDER dating him, but right now, there is no way. I am not getting myself mixed up with another drug addict. So that isn't my worry right now.
Of course I want to be there for him to help him out, but I really don't think I am in the position to tell him that he has a problem, and that he needs bigger help than anything I can offer. I have spoken to one of his friends, and they agree that he isn't doing all too well. However, when they have mentioned it to him, he brushes it off and acts like nothing is wrong (classic case of denial...)
I am not the type of person to turn my back on someone when they are reaching out to me for help. If he calls me again when he is messed up, I will stay with him, but this can't become a routine. If it does, I'm not sure how I will handle it from there.
Should I just forget about it? Should I stop worrying? Do I say something and overstep my right to butt in? Do I talk to more of his friends? What do I do?! I want to help him, but I don't know how 
from personal experience, I can tell you that it is absolutely possible to drop E and have a shitty time and even become somewhat withdrawn and depressed during the high. it depends on your state of mind before you take the drug..like if you�re having a bad day, or even if you suffer from a bit of depression, then it could have the reverse effect. that�s probably what it was. and mixing it with alcohol isn�t smart either.
*edit* that mainly happens also if you abuse E and take it too often...it just starts to not hit you the way it used to and you feel shitty instead of that euphoric high you used to get...
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Slylee from personal experience, I can tell you that it is absolutely possible to drop E and have a shitty time and even become somewhat withdrawn and depressed during the high. it depends on your state of mind before you take the drug..like if you�re having a bad day, or even if you suffer from a bit of depression, then it could have the reverse effect. that�s probably what it was. and mixing it with alcohol isn�t smart either. *edit* that mainly happens also if you abuse E and take it too often...it just starts to not hit you the way it used to and you feel shitty instead of that euphoric high you used to get... |
I was too fucked up on pills once, it's not a pleasant experience.
also, there's this thing called shudder vision where you can't focus on shit (your eyeballs are practically vibrating back and forth) and your mind is going in a gazillion ways and it's hard to even think or talk...obviously it's not like acid, but i mean, you definitely start to "trip out" a little when u take too many pills.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Nite-Mer Agreed. State of mind when you enter the roll effects everything. If he's already depressed and drinking(alcohol being a depressant), he probably started reflecting on his shitty life. If you don't have very strong ties to him, I would avoid him. If you feel the necessity, out of the goodness of your heart, talk to him and express the changes that need to be made. I would do that for someone I care about, but some virtually random guy like that, I would avoid. Program his number in your phone and avoid the calls. He is, hopefully, not going to commit suicide, but, in reality, you can't control it. Is it worth become involved and watching someone self destruct? |
I really appreciate it
hmmm...well. maybe it was just an isolated incident? perhaps hold off bringing it up unless it becomes a habit and then if he chooses you as the person to bear this then i think you have the right to confront him about it. maybe get his friends with you to talk to him if that makes it easier. that's probably what i would do.
Fluttervision. 
I've had it happen a little. A friend of mine gets it all crazy. I seem to have a natural tolerance for drugs and alcohol. I'm always the driver when I roll and, usually, babysit my friends if they are too fucked up. The most I ever took was 5 and it was one at a time for about a 12 hour period. Other than that it was usually 1-3. I actually got roofied and a party called Caffeine we have every year, and I remember the night. I got all sweaty and dehydrated and had no energy, but I didn't black out. I had also had a pretty good dose of pot brownie and about 4 vodka red bulls too(not that that is a lot, but I knew the bartender so they were stiff, and the combination is a lot). It's weird, I've only blacked out twice. The time after rolling when I had taken 3 and half ills, smoked weed, taken an ephidrine, smoked about a pack and a half of cigarettes, and drank 9 beers(which put me over the top). The other time was my 21st and I had 18 shots in an hour and a half. This sounds really bad, I'm sure, and it is. That's why I won't do coke. I have learned to moderate myself and I don't go all crazy anymore. My 21st really taught me my limits on shots. I hardly drink them anymore, and when I do I won't drink too many. I'm just over getting all crazy fucked up. I've already had my experiences and there comes a time when you have to grow up. I am 25 after all. Anyway, if you are going to try and help him, you should be very direct, but not offensive. Approach him as a concerned friend and make sure you don't come off as judgemental. That will only put him on the defensive. It's a tough situation and I would have to be involved to fully understand the best route to helping him. Anyway, I hope this helps some.
You guys have entirely too much time on your hands holy crap these are long posts.
What to do? Nothing. he was drunk and on drugs. I fucking go back to sleep after getting drunken phone calls. If they even fucking remember it theyll call back and you can talk.
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