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Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 09:32:

Jester Christmas Work Parties

It's just about coming to that time of year the annual office christmas party! That drunken fumble in the store cupboard that get's your bosses secretary up the duff! After a few Brandywines boring Sharon from accounts pounces on the poor office junior! Or the dread of having a drunken conversation with your Director and telling them what you really think.

I'm not attending this years party in protest of members of my team being unfairly banned from this monotonous fare. Needless to say I'm hardly going to miss being stuck with a group of peasants who are the missing link between man and ape or pretentious bores who use their personalities as contraception.

But what's everyone doing for their office party and better still has anyone got any funny office christmas party stories to tell?


Posted by itsamemario on Nov-27-2006 10:06:

Ive only been to one office xmas party.. I got insanely drunk. We were served Aquavit at the dinner, and since we had many muslims attending i got theirs, not knowing the boss would leave his card at the bar later. Oh damn, i got so friggin drunk, just fucking around everywhere, hitting on alot older ladies. There were other companies there as well, I remember there was a group from Elixia, one of the "fanciest" gyms in nOrway. Loads of hot instructors. Lol, tried to hook up which everyone of them. Didnt make it. I was so fucking wasted. Not too much fun really lol.. Everything ended with me being thrown out for sleeping and throwing up from the balcony on the 4th floor. Straight onto some people standing on the street. Yaaaaaay! :P


Posted by Sushipunk on Nov-27-2006 11:37:

quote:
Originally posted by dj_alfi
Ive only been to one office xmas party.. I got insanely drunk. We were served Aquavit at the dinner, and since we had many muslims attending i got theirs, not knowing the boss would leave his card at the bar later. Oh damn, i got so friggin drunk, just fucking around everywhere, hitting on alot older ladies. There were other companies there as well, I remember there was a group from Elixia, one of the "fanciest" gyms in nOrway. Loads of hot instructors. Lol, tried to hook up which everyone of them. Didnt make it. I was so fucking wasted. Not too much fun really lol.. Everything ended with me being thrown out for sleeping and throwing up from the balcony on the 4th floor. Straight onto some people standing on the street. Yaaaaaay! :P


That's awesome man, damn good work!


Posted by Ivand on Nov-27-2006 12:15:

i will unleash the motherfucking moonwalk on my work party


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 12:40:

quote:
Originally posted by dj_alfi
Not too much fun really lol.. Everything ended with me being thrown out for sleeping and throwing up from the balcony on the 4th floor. Straight onto some people standing on the street. Yaaaaaay! :P


That's the spirt! Being thrown out for sleeping is a bit harsh.

The Muslim's didn't drink I'm disappointed their not adapting a team attitude. We've managed to get reformed alcoholic to join in on the drinking! The best is the devout Christian type who is supposidly 100% tee total but somehow ends up getting slaughtered within an hour of arriving and spends most the night fighting their own shadow.


Posted by EarnYourKeep on Nov-27-2006 12:45:

i've got 2 company parties coming up - one for my team of 6 co-workers and one for the division. The one for my team, our boss is having it on monday morning dec 5th, we'll be drinking at 10am-lunch time (it's out lunch party). My boss said we're going for drinks and then head back to the office to see who can work without anyone noticing that we're blasted. Sorta like a game which is kinda cool. The division party is in a few weeks and there we get to be sloppy infront of everyone - i can't wait!


Posted by Nrg2Nfinit on Nov-27-2006 12:50:

lol @ your story alfi...


Posted by Ivand on Nov-27-2006 13:01:

last christmas i got fuckin drunk and started hitting on my boss, with her husband being there, omg it was so awkward


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 13:02:

quote:
Originally posted by kid nyce
i've got 2 company parties coming up - one for my team of 6 co-workers and one for the division. The one for my team, our boss is having it on monday morning dec 5th, we'll be drinking at 10am-lunch time (it's out lunch party). My boss said we're going for drinks and then head back to the office to see who can work without anyone noticing that we're blasted. Sorta like a game which is kinda cool. The division party is in a few weeks and there we get to be sloppy infront of everyone - i can't wait!


Your boss should be promoted to the CEO for promoting such a wonderful work ethic to his team.

Just be wary of inquisitive senior managers, the local office loud mouth and you'll all get through the game fine.


Posted by Orbital32 on Nov-27-2006 13:17:

My work wants me to DJ the one of 3 "holiday" parties. I told them i would be damn if even show up!


Posted by Lilith on Nov-27-2006 14:05:

Don't work for anyone anymore, last job I had in 2002 they used too hire a big boat and float around Sydney harbour getting really drunk, really stoned and puke over the side once in awhile. Upon announcing I was leaving, the sales team who as their group-trainer and general pain in the arse, hurled me over the side from the top deck in celebration.
It was cold, it hurt (a lot! from about 20ft up), lost both my shoes and a stocking

Least drunk people seem too float alright, dont know how I didnt drown.


Posted by Ygrene on Nov-27-2006 14:08:

I went to a Christmas work party once while being high on E.


Posted by Slylee on Nov-27-2006 14:12:

apparantly my office rents a limo every year and we go to a really nice restaurant and usually end up at the strip club...no spouses or significant others allowed.


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 14:16:

quote:
Originally posted by Ygrene
I went to a Christmas work party once while being high on E.


Your brave E would just mong me out. Charlies the most manageable one for work parties.

Lilth in the water of Sydney Harbour I wouldn't worry about drowning mate, I'd be more worried about some fucking great white biting me in two.


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 14:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Slylee
apparantly my office rents a limo every year and we go to a really nice restaurant and usually end up at the strip club...no spouses or significant others allowed.


Great way to get the boss in shit with his missus if you have a camera phone.


Posted by RJT on Nov-27-2006 14:19:

I think the plan for Myra's office party this year is to eat a bunch of painkillers and quietly mock people from the bar.


Posted by Slylee on Nov-27-2006 14:20:

quote:
Originally posted by RJT
I think the plan for Myra's office party this year is to eat a bunch of painkillers and quietly mock people from the bar.



haha nice!

that sounds like me. except for the painkiller part


Posted by Nrg2Nfinit on Nov-27-2006 14:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan
Great way to get the boss in shit with his missus if you have a camera phone.



i think camera phones are not allowed in the strip clubs..


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-27-2006 14:31:

quote:
Originally posted by Nrg2Nfinit
i think camera phones are not allowed in the strip clubs..


When I was last in one about a year ago, there was no searches at all for anything like phones etc.


Posted by DigitalPhoenix on Nov-27-2006 15:04:

For my office xmas party they will open up a cruise ship for us to wander around, open bar and all restaurants open as well...can u say chaos?
Love it!


Posted by bas on Nov-27-2006 19:30:

I'm fairly certain that my company Christmas party will be massive because of the company I work for. I'm not too sure where it will be or what's in store because Clovis and I actually have a gig that night. Oh well, I'm sure I'll hear stories and there's always next year right?

Last year I went to my girlfriend's Christmas party and it was....interesting. I got to meet all the chefs that work at her school and her boss and stuff and we were the youngest people there. We had a bullet full of fun stuff and only stayed for about an hour or so before heading out to see Sasha


Posted by Lilith on Nov-28-2006 11:08:

quote:
Originally posted by Dj O'Callaghan
Lilth in the water of Sydney Harbour I wouldn't worry about drowning mate, I'd be more worried about some fucking great white biting me in two.


Dont think theres any in there, in any case you'd pity any poor animal that took a bite out of my inebriated, poison ass that night as it would have swam about 10ft and died horribly of toxic shock.

Either that or hit the beach and gone clubbing later...


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-28-2006 11:11:

quote:
Originally posted by Lilith
Dont think theres any in there, in any case you'd pity any poor animal that took a bite out of my inebriated, poison ass that night as it would have swam about 10ft and died horribly of toxic shock.

Either that or hit the beach and gone clubbing later...


Well it'll be one less convinct to worry about


Posted by Lilith on Nov-28-2006 11:15:

Pfft, convict indeed.
I'm a South African import with a British passport thanks.


Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Nov-28-2006 11:27:

quote:
Originally posted by Lilith
Pfft, convict indeed.
I'm a South African import with a British passport thanks.


Actually calling someone an Aussie is the highest insult know to humanity well I suppose Welsh is a worse insult. So then a South African with a British Passport...



Lilth pictured earlier.


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