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The Lift and Tuck method
COR Version:
So im at work the other day when I start to get this random inappropriate boner. It was visually obvious and I couldnt hide it by conventional means. So I went with the classic lift and tuck method where you use your belt/waistline to hold it in a concealed state till it goes away. Dont you hate that shit?
Long Version:
So there I am at work yesterday, finishing up the first phase of project when it happened. An inappropriate and totally random erection began to creep its way up the side of my thigh. I glanced around and hoped it would go away. I thought of aliens moving refigerators up a flight of steps but this only made things tantalizingly worse. Surely the frigid embrace of the computer screen would distract whatever biological mechanism was increasing my genitalic bloodflow. Yet still the boner begin to climb it's way up the denim confines of my jeans and into a range where it's position would be horribly visible.
Any guy whos had this happen knows that at a certain point, you must flex your kegel which will change the hardening penis' trajectory to a safe and hidden location. The time approached ansd I preformed the deed but to no avail, my timing was a split second off and I was stuck in the no man's land of totally obvious and an inch away from concealment.
After quickly assessing the situation, I decided to attempt the daring lift & tuck maneuver in which the preformers hand is used to lift the penis into a state paralell to the body and held in place by the belt or waistline. The rammifications? Well, I work in a place with no cubicles so everything is out in the open. Any of my co-workers preforming a peripheal or sideways glance would almost immediately know what I was doing and no explanation could save me from ridicule for days on end.
I casually glanced to my left and right while sliding my hand to my waist line. I shifted uncomfrotably in my chair, pushing the waistline of my pants down and sceuring my hand between a fold in my shirt. I pivoted my hips back like i was stretching, sliding my hand over the skin and made a grab for the member but it slipped! It was now lodged a little deeper and i had to resort to the dreaded 'underhand scoop-out' method where you are basically wrist deep in your waistline. However I achieved success and was able to conceal the physical oddity.
I used to get these things all the time in high school but the numbers have gone down a bit as ive gotten older. Still theyre such a pain when they're blatantly obviousand you cant stand up or anything.
Margeret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margeret Thatcher naked on a cold day!
*think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts*
ps, wear camoflauge pants - no one can see it then 
bwhahaha. I use to get random boners in class all the time. I was like wtf. Why wont it die.
i still get random boners
i have to stop and bend down and pretend to dig in my backpack for something 
its even harder when you have a boner and you are jacking off said boner and THEN you have to conceal it.
happened to me when I felt a quick fap was necessary when all of a sudden the cable guy came when he actually said he would. not only that, but i was also wearing those athletic pants that make ridiculous amounts of noise when you walk around....so hiding it was impossible. literally. i walked to my front door at an angle, and when i let the cable guy in, im 100% sure my boner nailed his belt buckle when we were both turning the same way.
This is too much information for me.
it's an illusion, an optical illusion...
illusion of the pants...i got the pants at a pants store, i was going to go return them right now...
what is everybody looking at? dont act like you're not jealous!
my tip:
pretend as if you are straightening out your underwear.
after the boner is locked in place, continue with your hand in your pants all the way around, as if your underwear or shirt was bunched up.
Re: The Lift and Tuck method
| quote: |
| Originally posted by tribu COR Version: So im at work the other day when I start to get this random inappropriate boner. It was visually obvious and I couldnt hide it by conventional means. So I went with the classic lift and tuck method where you use your belt/waistline to hold it in a concealed state till it goes away. Dont you hate that shit? |
thank god i dont have a penis
if i did, i'd probably have to use the lift and tuck method 50 times a day
| quote: |
| Originally posted by lexxwolfen thank god i dont have a penis if i did, i'd probably have to use the lift and tuck method 50 times a day |
just wear boxer briefs fuck
Re: Re: The Lift and Tuck method
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dallastar I think you need a fleshlight for at work!? |
Re: The Lift and Tuck method
| quote: |
| Originally posted by tribu COR Version: So im at work the other day when I start to get this random inappropriate boner. It was visually obvious and I couldnt hide it by conventional means. So I went with the classic lift and tuck method where you use your belt/waistline to hold it in a concealed state till it goes away. Dont you hate that shit? Long Version: So there I am at work yesterday, finishing up the first phase of project when it happened. An inappropriate and totally random erection began to creep its way up the side of my thigh. I glanced around and hoped it would go away. I thought of aliens moving refigerators up a flight of steps but this only made things tantalizingly worse. Surely the frigid embrace of the computer screen would distract whatever biological mechanism was increasing my genitalic bloodflow. Yet still the boner begin to climb it's way up the denim confines of my jeans and into a range where it's position would be horribly visible. Any guy whos had this happen knows that at a certain point, you must flex your kegel which will change the hardening penis' trajectory to a safe and hidden location. The time approached ansd I preformed the deed but to no avail, my timing was a split second off and I was stuck in the no man's land of totally obvious and an inch away from concealment. After quickly assessing the situation, I decided to attempt the daring lift & tuck maneuver in which the preformers hand is used to lift the penis into a state paralell to the body and held in place by the belt or waistline. The rammifications? Well, I work in a place with no cubicles so everything is out in the open. Any of my co-workers preforming a peripheal or sideways glance would almost immediately know what I was doing and no explanation could save me from ridicule for days on end. I casually glanced to my left and right while sliding my hand to my waist line. I shifted uncomfrotably in my chair, pushing the waistline of my pants down and sceuring my hand between a fold in my shirt. I pivoted my hips back like i was stretching, sliding my hand over the skin and made a grab for the member but it slipped! It was now lodged a little deeper and i had to resort to the dreaded 'underhand scoop-out' method where you are basically wrist deep in your waistline. However I achieved success and was able to conceal the physical oddity. I used to get these things all the time in high school but the numbers have gone down a bit as ive gotten older. Still theyre such a pain when they're blatantly obviousand you cant stand up or anything. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Ygrene Margeret Thatcher naked on a cold day! Margeret Thatcher naked on a cold day! |
lol u nasty
I still get random erections, and I'm 30. They're so hard, it can cut diamonds!
Think of your grandparents boning...
that always did it for me... 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by CONNERMAN2000 its even harder when you have a boner and you are jacking off said boner and THEN you have to conceal it. happened to me when I felt a quick fap was necessary when all of a sudden the cable guy came when he actually said he would. not only that, but i was also wearing those athletic pants that make ridiculous amounts of noise when you walk around....so hiding it was impossible. literally. i walked to my front door at an angle, and when i let the cable guy in, im 100% sure my boner nailed his belt buckle when we were both turning the same way. |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by DigitalPhoenix Think of your grandparents boning... that always did it for me... |
lift and tuck - goes for titties too!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dallastar lift and tuck - goes for titties too! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by CONNERMAN2000 its even harder when you have a boner and you are jacking off said boner and THEN you have to conceal it. happened to me when I felt a quick fap was necessary when all of a sudden the cable guy came when he actually said he would. not only that, but i was also wearing those athletic pants that make ridiculous amounts of noise when you walk around....so hiding it was impossible. literally. i walked to my front door at an angle, and when i let the cable guy in, im 100% sure my boner nailed his belt buckle when we were both turning the same way. |
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