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advice.

Long Version

so i'm probably going to kick myself for making this thread after the overwhelming support from the last one...but i'm sick, home, and bored.

ok...i'm having one of those life transition times...where you're not quite sure what you want to do, or what you should do. at the end of high school, i moved out of my parents house abruptly - we didn't have a good relationship, but that's a completely different can of worms. so anyway, this upset them TREMENDOUSLY (they still won't let me live it down), and moved to burlington (next town over from my hometown). i then deferred my enrollment at the local university, took a year off, and worked. with my parents pressuring me start school again, i enrolled in classes, and just finished my first semester. it sucked.

i have no idea what i want to study (and still don't), my smallest class was 150 kids (UVM also has the highest instate tuition in the country @ $10,000/yr [not counting room/board]), and i know this town like the back of my hand...i'm so sick of it. i have this overwhelming feeling of discontent, there's so much that i need to see and this stupid town is like a sesspool of negativity, boredom, and trustfund kids (which i am the last thing from). and to top it off, after going to all of my classes, doing all of my work...i BARELY passed my classes. i'm on academic probation now, and if i get one more semester of that, i am dismissed. my parents won't pay for me to go to any other school. i tried explaining this to them (haven't told em about my grades yet), but they are puzzled as to why i can't just "suck it up for 4 years".... 4 years is a LONG ASS TIME to do something that makes you unhappy.

has anyone been trapped like this? i'm thinking of withdrawing at the end of my freshman year, and applying to a school in montreal for the winter semester '08 (where i have wanted to go for a few years now), and working up until then. and then basically taking out a shitload of loans and wracking up debt. but hey at least i'll be happy, and that's worth it to me.

for some godforsaken reason, this would devestate my parents because i'm the oldest kid, and have done a terrible job of weening them off of me. and i'm sure they'd highly doubt that once i withdraw, i'll actually go back. i have a very high appreciation for education, i enjoy learning, and i know what it's like to bust my ass working without a degree...something i don't plan on doing for the rest of my life.

any advice? or stories about when you were put in a tough situation where you knew people would disapprove (people that mattered to you)? what did you do?



c0r Version:
Pick one:
A. Go to college for 4 years, have parents pay for it...be unhappy
B. Defy parents, move away and go to school elsewhere, pay for it by myself...be happy

buttsechkz

it's the only solution

A. Even tho you may be unhappy for a time, at least you should be financially secure.

i'm one of the few stupid roamntic people in the world that doesn't give a rats ass about money. just as long as i can support myself it's ok...i don't connect financial security with happiness...sure it takes a lot of stress away...but i don't think i could be any poorer than how i am now. and i'm still doing pretty good. minus this little situation.

Re: advice.

quote:

Originally posted by Caela Long Version so i'm probably going to kick myself for making this thread after the overwhelming support from the last one...but i'm sick, home, and bored. ok...i'm having one of those life transition times...where you're not quite sure what you want to do, or what you should do. at the end of high school, i moved out of my parents house abruptly - we didn't have a good relationship, but that's a completely different can of worms. so anyway, this upset them TREMENDOUSLY (they still won't let me live it down), and moved to burlington (next town over from my hometown). i then deferred my enrollment at the local university, took a year off, and worked. with my parents pressuring me start school again, i enrolled in classes, and just finished my first semester. it sucked. i have no idea what i want to study (and still don't), my smallest class was 150 kids (UVM also has the highest instate tuition in the country @ $10,000/yr [not counting room/board]), and i know this town like the back of my hand...i'm so sick of it. i have this overwhelming feeling of discontent, there's so much that i need to see and this stupid town is like a sesspool of negativity, boredom, and trustfund kids (which i am the last thing from). and to top it off, after going to all of my classes, doing all of my work...i BARELY passed my classes. i'm on academic probation now, and if i get one more semester of that, i am dismissed. my parents won't pay for me to go to any other school. i tried explaining this to them (haven't told em about my grades yet), but they are puzzled as to why i can't just "suck it up for 4 years".... 4 years is a LONG ASS TIME to do something that makes you unhappy. has anyone been trapped like this? i'm thinking of withdrawing at the end of my freshman year, and applying to a school in montreal for the winter semester '08 (where i have wanted to go for a few years now), and working up until then. and then basically taking out a shitload of loans and wracking up debt. but hey at least i'll be happy, and that's worth it to me. for some godforsaken reason, this would devestate my parents because i'm the oldest kid, and have done a terrible job of weening them off of me. and i'm sure they'd highly doubt that once i withdraw, i'll actually go back. i have a very high appreciation for education, i enjoy learning, and i know what it's like to bust my ass working without a degree...something i don't plan on doing for the rest of my life. any advice? or stories about when you were put in a tough situation where you knew people would disapprove (people that mattered to you)? what did you do? c0r Version: Pick one: A. Go to college for 4 years, have parents pay for it...be unhappy B. Defy parents, move away and go to school elsewhere, pay for it by myself...be happy

Well, just do what you really wanna do...but be sure to face any consequences and to calculate them precisely. I mean, you said you would get loans, how would you get loans in Montreal? I hope the Government of Quebec allows you to some sort of scholarship but I am not sure (you are not Quebecer), so you probably won't be able to have Quebec loans from the Government. In fact, it might cost you like $6000 a semester for 5 classes (foreign student prices).....I wonder if the bank will want to loan you let's say around $50K if you don't have a good job....you can't really have a high ranking job while attending school. But, as you mentioned, you would work before, get some cash on, work during summers and rationale yourself!

I know this shit is fucked up. It's hard to take a decision. Maybe you could go to school in some other part of the US, it might be easier to get funding. Actually, I have no idea. This is only what I think. I wish I was wrong and you could get Government loans in Montreal. It would be cool!

It's your life.

A

Re: advice.

quote:

Originally posted by Caela A. Go to college for 4 years, have parents pay for it...be unhappy

I chose A~! you go girl!

Re: advice.

quote:

Originally posted by Caela .... 4 years is a LONG ASS TIME to do something that makes you unhappy.

Better that then paying for your tuition for 10-12 years, like me. Or to try working full-time and taking a few classes here and there.

I don't understand why you would want to go out-of-state to a particular school if you don't know what you want to study?

Do your own thing. You'll learn how meaningless money is in the long run.

quote:

Originally posted by Caela i'm one of the few stupid roamntic people in the world that doesn't give a rats ass about money. just as long as i can support myself it's ok...i don't connect financial security with happiness...sure it takes a lot of stress away...but i don't think i could be any poorer than how i am now. and i'm still doing pretty good. minus this little situation.

you and me both, I guess we need a reality check

Re: Re: advice.

quote:

Originally posted by Ygrene I don't understand why you would want to go out-of-state to a particular school if you don't know what you want to study?

me either...it's more of a personal discovery thing, i'd have a much better chance of finding otu what makes me happy in terms of a career, if i go out and put myself in a new environment, then just sitting here.

quote:

Originally posted by stren you and me both, I guess we need a reality check

Nah, the rest of the world is just afraid of living on their own.

A

Financially secure > happy

quote:

Originally posted by stren you and me both, I guess we need a reality check

no! i'm so stubborn about this, but i never want to lose this mentality. yes, being able to afford food, rent, normal expenses are necessary...but when all the young kids in school said "when i grow up i wanna be rich", i rolled my eyes at them and said just as long as i'm happy i'm ok. who the fuck cares, the best times in my life so far have cost me NOTHING. money is merely paper...it can open a lot of doors, but it never will cloud my mind or run my movtives.

Caela, focus on school, get good grades, and choose to be happy. At the end of 4 years, you'll have a degree, you can go to graduate school BECAUSE you got good grades (if you want), and since you chose to be happy when you made this decision, you'll be even happier when you graduate because now you can ask for and will get MORE money. And yes, money doesn't buy happiness but it enables you to be comfortable and do lots of cool stuff which will make you more happy!

quote:

Originally posted by Echo of Silence Caela, focus on school, get good grades, and choose to be happy. At the end of 4 years, you'll have a degree, you can go to graduate school BECAUSE you got good grades (if you want), and since you chose to be happy when you made this decision, you'll be even happier when you graduate because now you can ask for and will get MORE money. And yes, money doesn't buy happiness but it enables you to be comfortable and do lots of cool stuff which will make you more happy!

+1

have some patience, go to school and get a degree, then do whatever you want. i have the same mentality about money as you...but...being in debt is no fun at all. no fun at all...none.

so if your parents are spending money for you to go to school, then take advantage of it.

i'm sure what you're feeling is common thing, as i feel the same way.

just wait, and in time things will work out.

school might not look like the fun thing to do right now, but in the end its all worth it

have your parents pay for it. then move after four years. or move after two years (your associate's degree). don't you guys have a guaranteed transfer program over there?

quote:

Originally posted by Omega_Blue don't you guys have a guaranteed transfer program over there?

sounds cool

quote:

Originally posted by Caela sounds cool

pretty much if you maintain a C average over here you can get into any school in wisconsin (with the exception of UW-madison). i thought every U system had this

First figure out what u wanna do, cause if not school can be a big waste of time & money.

quote:

Originally posted by jonSun First figure out what u wanna do, cause if not school can be a big waste of time & money.

yesssss...i know. i just wanna take some time off until i know what i wanan do, and am serious enough to stay focused.

speaking of which...drinking wine when you're just getting over a cold = or

quote:

Originally posted by Caela yesssss...i know. i just wanna take some time off until i know what i wanan do, and am serious enough to stay focused.

I completely understand what you mean here, in fact it's what I'm doing right now. I got my general credits done, and decided to take some 'time' off until I could find what I wanted to major in. I justified it thinking that I'm wasting money if I end up spending it on a major I can't stand. Problem is, I'm now nearly 2 years down the line into this time off and to be honest I really don't see myself finding what I want to do anytime soon. If you take time off I'm sure you'll (like myself) work full time, which at least for me doesn't lend itself too well to finding what I want to do as you tend to get so involved in the day to day grind. Unfortunately we don't all know what we want to do when we graduate high school; for myself, I think the best way to find what you actually want to do would be to take a few different courses that interest you (even just somewhat) and see how they work out after a semester. You never know, something that only mildly interests you could end up being something you enjoy doing for the rest of your life.

Luckily through a friend I got into a good company and worked my way into a job that I actually enjoy (and pays well for a non college grad), but no matter how great this job looks on a resume the facts are if/when I leave I'm much less likely to get a job w/o a degree, even if it's one that is completely non applicable to the field you're working in. Because of that I'm seriously looking at going back to school in the next year or so, taking a few courses and seeing how they work out.

I really can't tell you which option to chose as I can't really decide myself, however I can say for sure if you do take more time off and end up paying your own tuition you will make it quite a bit harder on yourself in the years to come than if you just stick it out. Looking back on what I chose I can now say sure, it's 4 years you're not the happiest, but finishing those 4 years will benefit you for the rest of your life in terms of your career.

Whatever you choose, good luck with it; hopefully it works out for you.

^^ You don't need a very high paying job overall to survive, though. Plenty of people get by on 20,000-24,000 a year, it's not the best life but it beats the fuck hell out of being from a third world country and making $.10 an hour sewing jeans 12 hours a day, 7 days a week.

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