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Friendship and sex

Has anyone here found that you're better at making friends with the opposite sex than with your own? For the past five years or so that's been the case for me. Not sure why...

Of course I've seen a number of guys here say that men either can't really or shouldn't be friends with women outside the context of looking for sex. But I say that's a load of crap.

What about you?

Usually, when a man and a woman have a friendship, one or the other has pining feelings for the other at SOME point in the friendship. I think a lot of people get into that mentality of "but he's my FRIEND! He wouldn't steer me in the wrong direction!!!!!!!"

Uh, yes he would.

rohypnal

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Usually, when a man and a woman have a friendship, one or the other has pining feelings for the other at SOME point in the friendship.

Yeah, that has happened to me. I was talking to someone for a few months as a friend and then she dropped it on me that she had "feelings" for me. I have done that to girls in the past as well.

IMO it's often beneficial just to keep those feelings inside. The "let it all hang out" mentality usually doesn't resolve much of anything. And I know that people think, "My God, but what if he / she feels the same and ends up being the love of my life?! I can't possibly keep this inside! AAAAHHH!" But I think a lot of times those sorts of feelings really can fade, if you don't obsess over them.

Eventually, you can't keep those feelings inside forever. Sucks, but so true. I have some guy friends, but that little fact was true for ALL of them.

What I can't understand for the life of me, is why a guy friend would say to his current girlfriend (who's already insecure about me) "oh Sara? I was in love with her for ten years. But I love YOU now baby!"

FFS. WHY?!?!?

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly What I can't understand for the life of me, is why a guy friend would say to his current girlfriend (who's already insecure about me) "oh Sara? I was in love with her for ten years. But I love YOU now baby!" FFS. WHY?!?!?

I would never do that to someone...

Seriously. Do you know how much drama that created? And I had NO idea for the longest time he "confessed". So I was baffled as to why this girl was always freaking out on me and acting like a crazy person. It got so bad I threatened to punch her in the face! And then when I found out what he told her... I was like ooooooooooooooooooooooooh.

Did you just change "punched her in the face" to "threatened to punch her in the face?" Or did I misread that?

Actually I told her if she ever tried to message/or talk crap to any of my friends again, I knew where she lived (and worked) and I would show up and beat her ugly ass face down into the ground to the point where no one would recognize her.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Did you just change "punched her in the face" to "threatened to punch her in the face?" Or did I misread that?

I actually had started to type "I nearly punched her in the face" but got distracted by work and skipped a couple of words, so I fixed it. When I realized I typo'd I fixed it. I'm not taking credit for something I didn't do!

Although when I nearly did, if it wasn't for the fact that A) it was my friends wedding and B) someone literally had to hold me back.... I would have.

I would say that I have slightly more female friends than male friends, but that's not because I am necessarily "better" at befriending women than men.

I'm just irritated by deferring to others.

you always end up fucking them eventually...

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Although when I nearly did, if it wasn't for the fact that A) it was my friends wedding and B) someone literally had to hold me back.... I would have.

How incredibly trashy, I would have expected more from you.

Kind of a related question I guess:

Guys, would you get uneasy if your girlfriend went out with a group of guys? Or with just one other guy?

Girls, would you get uneasy if your boyfriend went out with a group of girls? Or with just one other girl?

i asked once if my mate would fancy giving me a wank with her gob , but she declined ,


we are no longer friends

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Kind of a related question I guess: Guys, would you get uneasy if your girlfriend went out with a group of guys? Or with just one other guy?

It totally depends on your S/O as a person, whether you are willing to admit it to yourself or not.

My girlfriend (whom I live with and have a long-term relationship with) does this and I don't sweat it at all because I'm not at all concerned that she's a dirty skank.

However, had my now-ex wife done this, it would have driven me bonkers.. regardless of how much trust I tried to convince myself that I had in her.

quote:

Originally posted by adi_hanson i asked once if my mate would fancy giving me a wank with her gob , but she declined , we are no longer friends

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Kind of a related question I guess: Guys, would you get uneasy if your girlfriend went out with a group of guys? Or with just one other guy? Girls, would you get uneasy if your boyfriend went out with a group of girls? Or with just one other girl?

No. If I didnt trust a girl, I wouldnt be in a relationship with her

Girl would have my trust until she proves otherwise. If she cheats on me and I find out, I give her the big boot (maybe in the face)

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Guys, would you get uneasy if your girlfriend went out with a group of guys? Or with just one other guy?

Uneasy? Perhaps, but not because I would really worry about something she would do. Also, it greatly depends on just who she is going out with and where they are going. But I don't see a point in worrying your partner is going to cheat on you... worrying won't impel them to do it, nor will it stop them, and it's merely the result of insecurities... which are a completely valid and realistic thing in any relationship, it is often just a matter of how you let them affect you.

quote:

Originally posted by Aortik How incredibly trashy, I would have expected more from you.

You would have? How so?

In all honesty, I was so angry about her behavior at the wedding. She was literally, ruining the wedding. She stood outside and talked trash so loudly everyone was irritated - and then proceeded to sit at the table with my friends and I (mind you, we've been friends 13 years) and continued talking trash about myself AND the BRIDE in everyone's ear. Then when we all took group pictures together she started commenting about "slut this and that". I was so angry at her disrespect. She deserved to get at least bitch-slapped. I don't find the fact that she's 5 years younger an excuse. You should be respectful at a wedding, no matter WHAT your age.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Girls, would you get uneasy if your boyfriend went out with a group of girls? Or with just one other girl?

Not so much. I don't really care... if he didn't want to be with me, he wouldn't. And you can't stop someone from cheating on you. If they want to, they will. So why get all paranoid?

//edit

Although, if one particular girl were involved... I would get uneasy. Not because I don't trust HIM... but because she is known to get a little out of hand and ignore boundaries. I have no doubt he would stop an escalating situation - however, no one really WANTS their S.O. to be put in that kind of situation.

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly You would have? How so?

Not a single mention of teeth-kicking or eye-gouging... just what sort of weddings do you go to anyhow??

quote:

Originally posted by Aortik Not a single mention of teeth-kicking or eye-gouging... just what sort of weddings do you go to anyhow??

A punch to the face is more satisfying

quote:

Originally posted by squirrelly Although, if one particular girl were involved... I would get uneasy. Not because I don't trust HIM... but because she is known to get a little out of hand and ignore boundaries. I have no doubt he would stop an escalating situation - however, no one really WANTS their S.O. to be put in that kind of situation.

I'll agree with this as well. Sometimes I get uneasy because of this, not because I have any doubt in my mind that my s/o is going to do anything. Though, this is often used as a crutch and excuse by many to be insecure.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles Kind of a related question I guess: Guys, would you get uneasy if your girlfriend went out with a group of guys? Or with just one other guy?

Absolutely not, I have complete trust in Mrs. Hazard. Of course she could betray my trust and I would look foolish; however, a marriage cannot work well without trust so I choose to trust. Love without trust is not love and a marriage without trust can't last.

quote:

Originally posted by Moral Hazard Absolutely not, I have complete trust in Mrs. Hazard. Of course she could betray my trust and I would look foolish; however, a marriage cannot work well without trust so I choose to trust. Love without trust is not love and a marriage without trust can't last.

Well said!

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