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new job stuff advice

k, basically currently i'm working at a bank. i interviewed with the cpa firm that audits the bank i am at. everything went swell during the interview and afterwards.

their main concern was that my bank is one of their clients. they wanted me to speak with my manager, cfo, and president to tell them the news and basically that this was my decision (so that they don't take it as that the firm came in and stole one of their employees and risk the currently good relationship between them).

I did as they asked and my manager and the firm's manager have been exchanging calls, etc.

the problem is that my current job (the bank) is already starting the motions to start hiring a new person to replace me, and the cpa firm never really gave me a black and white answer of "you have the job."

I'm fairly certain I did get it, but I kind of want to confirm it... how can I word it to the firm's manager without sounding like "hey, can you tell me if I got the job already?" and coming off as pushy?

just be pushy

Re: new job stuff advice

This is clearly a situation which calls for tact and discretion. First, you're going to have to go to your new employer during a business day. If someone notices you, pretend you already work there. Next, you're going to have to discretely follow your hiring manager. Make sure they don't notice you're there. They would know if they hired you, or not.

Now here's how you'll seal the deal, so to speak. Wait for the hiring manager to go to the bathroom. They should be having to do a number two. Follow them in there. As soon as they lock the door, step into their line of sight and piss on the floor, right in front of them. Make sure they can see you from the crack between the door and the jam.

Once you're done urinating, look them dead in the eye and tell them, "Everything's going to be alright. Right?" Make sure your voice doesn't waver. You needn't wait for an answer, either. It really is more of a message than a question. It should be as deadpan and emotionless as possible. Now, you can leave knowing that you got the job. Make sure you keep it by repeating the same process with your immediate supervisor.

You'll have established yourself as a ruthless alpha male and they won't report you because it will sound like they've gone nuts, especially after you've charmed everyone in the office with your good looks and charming wit.

thanks guys, I will follow your advice tomorrow. I will keep you all updated!

Re: Re: new job stuff advice

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker This is clearly a situation which calls for tact and discretion. First, you're going to have to go to your new employer during a business day. If someone notices you, pretend you already work there. Next, you're going to have to discretely follow your hiring manager. Make sure they don't notice you're there. They would know if they hired you, or not. Now here's how you'll seal the deal, so to speak. Wait for the hiring manager to go to the bathroom. They should be having to do a number two. Follow them in there. As soon as they lock the door, step into their line of sight and piss on the floor, right in front of them. Make sure they can see you from the crack between the door and the jam. Once you're done urinating, look them dead in the eye and tell them, "Everything's going to be alright. Right?" Make sure your voice doesn't waver. You needn't wait for an answer, either. It really is more of a message than a question. It should be as deadpan and emotionless as possible. Now, you can leave knowing that you got the job. Make sure you keep it by repeating the same process with your immediate supervisor. You'll have established yourself as a ruthless alpha male and they won't report you because it will sound like they've gone nuts, especially after you've charmed everyone in the office with your good looks and charming wit.

Man that's a tough position. You really shouldn't have told your current employer anything until you signed on the dotted line with the new one.

quote:

Originally posted by JD8180 thanks guys, I will follow your advice tomorrow. I will keep you all updated!

you really should not follow the advice posted by EddieZilker. Did you even read his post?

Generally speaking companies don't want to be seen as stealing an employee especially from a business partner. One employee isn't worth jeopardizing their relationship. Because of this I'd prepare yourself for losing your current job and not getting the other.

Just say, "when do I start?" and then go on by saying, "they're hiring a replacement for my position and I would like to give them an estimate of how much time they have."

quote:

Originally posted by Fledz Man that's a tough position. You really shouldn't have told your current employer anything until you signed on the dotted line with the new one.

+1. if there was any way to avoid telling the current employer, that woulda been the best course. Now you just have to wait it out it seems. Good luck.

quote:

Originally posted by butterfly you really should not follow the advice posted by EddieZilker. Did you even read his post?

yes, and it sounded like a good idea. I went to the firm but they wouldn't let me in. I proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing on the glass door, staring dead into the receptionist's eyes while pointing at her. I spelled out "I am an alpha male" with my urine (I drank a gallon of water shortly before to make sure I had enough ammo) and zipped up and left. I really hope this works.

anyway, my manager spoke with me and told me she spoke with the manager at the firm this week and they said it's certain. unless this is a ridiculous joke, I think I'm good.

I couldn't really not tell my employer because the firm doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship with their client (my bank). so they didn't want to hire me unless they were sure that there would be no hard feelings. my manager, CFO, and the president always knew I would leave one day (I was just a peon in the accounting dept with and there was no room for moving up) and were always pretty supportive of that. my manager was the one that actually gave me the contact info for the manager at the firm, telling me that I could always try there if I wanted to look for an auditing firm.

quote:

Originally posted by JD8180 yes, and it sounded like a good idea. I went to the firm but they wouldn't let me in. I proceeded to drop my pants and start pissing on the glass door, staring dead into the receptionist's eyes while pointing at her. I spelled out "I am an alpha male" with my urine (I drank a gallon of water shortly before to make sure I had enough ammo) and zipped up and left. I really hope this works. anyway, my manager spoke with me and told me she spoke with the manager at the firm this week and they said it's certain. unless this is a ridiculous joke, I think I'm good. I couldn't really not tell my employer because the firm doesn't want to jeopardize the relationship with their client (my bank). so they didn't want to hire me unless they were sure that there would be no hard feelings. my manager, CFO, and the president always knew I would leave one day (I was just a peon in the accounting dept with and there was no room for moving up) and were always pretty supportive of that. my manager was the one that actually gave me the contact info for the manager at the firm, telling me that I could always try there if I wanted to look for an auditing firm.

Oh, you'll sleep well, tonight. It's a lock. I wouldn't have tried that, but I think you sealed the deal. If you really want to be sure, follow the hiring manager home, tonight, and then to his favorite restaurant with his wife (or her husband), and then steal their car by raiding the valet's keybox and taking it to a somewhat remote location and abandoning it. Return with your car and offer assistance with a ride home, surreptitiously swinging by the place you left their car.

Make sure you damage the car with your car keys, before returning to the restaurant to pick up your boss. If the hiring manager has a wife, you should flirt with her while you change their punctured tire. If it's a woman, flirt with your hiring manager. If the spouse gets in the way, pull them to a discreet location, hit him in the gut really hard, and say, "Don't worry. When I'm done, she'll never want anyone else." See if you can't get her digits and arrange for a liaison, later on in the weekend. Make it fun and romantic.

Thank goodness today is Friday, most likely she will be heading out to dinner somewhere. I believe she has three children as well, I think I might get them involved in my master plan as well. I google-street-viewed their house so this will be a cake walk. I already visited during working hours when no one is home. I now know in what particular rooms each person sleeps in at night.

I really hope all of this will show my creativity and persistence that I can bring to the firm.

Remember, when all is said and done, a restraining order is just a test to see if you REALLY want the job.

quote:

Originally posted by EddieZilker Remember, when all is said and done, a restraining order is just a test to see if you REALLY want the job.

noted.

Holy fuck. This thread is fucking aces. Lmfao.

I'm glad people like Eddie Zilker are part of this forum to offer sound advice on such delicate matters. Can you imagine where washley would be now if he just listened to Eddie when he was trying to help him? That fool.

JD I admire your strong work ethic and "get it done" attitude. If things don't work out at with your new position, I may have some things available here in Los Angeles.

quote:

Originally posted by bas I'm glad people like Eddie Zilker are part of this forum to offer sound advice on such delicate matters.

It's all the RAGE.

Oh man, everyone read this thread:

http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...574&forumid=16&

/0

quote:

Originally posted by Halcyon+On+On Oh man, everyone read this thread: http://www.tranceaddict.com/forums/...574&forumid=16& /0

I've been switching back and forth between the two for quite some time



Also, they haven't got back to you yet because they're still deciding whether to hire you or ********. Or something.

All of you should go here too:

http://5z8.info/cockfights_p2w0g_aryanbr0ther00d

OH MAN. YOU'VE FOOLED ME FOR THE LAST TIME.

quote:

Originally posted by bas I'm glad people like Eddie Zilker are part of this forum to offer sound advice on such delicate matters. Can you imagine where washley would be now if he just listened to Eddie when he was trying to help him? That fool.

I agree 100%. If I land this, I owe it all to Eddie. Unfortunately, I had a craving for burritos so I missed them leaving to their Friday night outing. I took it as an opportunity (hope she notices that I strive for opportunities) to visit her unoccupied house. I jumped the fence and was almost attacked by the family dog. Thinking back to what Eddie said, this must have been the alpha male that was getting in my way the entire time. I neutralized the threat, and decided it would be most appreciated to gut it, showing that I leave no task until thoroughly completed. Using its insides, I painted the words "HIRE ME LOL" on their garage door.

quote:

JD I admire your strong work ethic and "get it done" attitude. If things don't work out at with your new position, I may have some things available here in Los Angeles.

I really appreciate it bas, but from what went down tonight, I think I totally sealed the deal.

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