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-- My Confusion ( Girls )
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Wow, I need to get my thoughts in order before my next post... this post is like a meandering stream!

You think you've got trouble keeping your mind straight? Just read any one of my essays and you'll see what I mean when I say "my train of thought just flew off a colapsed bridge and many died" hehe Although it's not all bad, some girls like it when this sorta absent-mindedness kicks in, they find it cute :P Not all girls of course

wow, if "absent-minded" ever becomes a successful angle... I am IN LIKE FREAKIN' FLYNN, dude... I have the worst memory ever. I'm good with names and faces, and phone numbers, which is good, but everything, and i mean EVERYTHING else is pretty sketchy...

I have to say, I kind of like where I am right now. It's very cliche to say it, but there's more to life than sex... I know, I know, that's what everyone who isn't getting any says... but seriously, I've done the loooong-relationship thing, and it had it's moments... good and bad. It is important to remember that being alone, and being lonely are completely different. It's easy to start freaking out about not "finding" someone, trust me, I've done it! You have to be able to take a step back and say,

"Hey! I have friends and I have time."

Trust me, those are the only two things you need. When you run out of either, that's when you should start worrying!

I hope all this drivel is actually helping someone!

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Originally posted by Enraptured wow, if "absent-minded" ever becomes a successful angle... I am IN LIKE FREAKIN' FLYNN, dude... I have the worst memory ever. I'm good with names and faces, and phone numbers, which is good, but everything, and i mean EVERYTHING else is pretty sketchy...

Hmm, so another one like me Suddenly I don't feel so alone

I noticed that this summer, since it has been a relaxing one and one without stress, my short term memory was so good that I could keep track of EVERYTHING that was going to be done in the next month down to the hour. Now with university and stress being all over the place, I can't even remmeber whom I've asked what or talked about, it's terrible. I don't think it's helping at all with girls, so I have to concentrate on the conversation to make most of it, whereas before I could casually waltz in and out and make witty jokes and whatnot :P Stress = less girls, very simple

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I have to say, I kind of like where I am right now. It's very cliche to say it, but there's more to life than sex... I know, I know, that's what everyone who isn't getting any says... but seriously, I've done the loooong-relationship thing, and it had it's moments... good and bad. It is important to remember that being alone, and being lonely are completely different. It's easy to start freaking out about not "finding" someone, trust me, I've done it! You have to be able to take a step back and say, "Hey! I have friends and I have time." Trust me, those are the only two things you need. When you run out of either, that's when you should start worrying! I hope all this drivel is actually helping someone!

Amen! I couldn't agree more to that. Actually, my dad gave me a long talk one day about the subject, and you wouldn't believe just how much it had changed me. The next day I was a whole new person, I wouldn't let a minute go to waste, especially when women were in question Luckily stress does not hurt that, so I'm still in good standing in the good fight

quote:

Originally posted by Sierra

Sierra is a girl, 100%

Read that shit, it's brilliant.

Alright guys listen up this is what you do:
You walk into the club and find a hot girl you want then walk up, stand right in front of her, stop for a minute and look her up and down then say "whats up"
she will probably say "hi" or maybe nothing
then you say something about her that stands out, maybe look at her chest or something and comment on what she wearing
she will probably smile or if you lucky start talking a bit
then you say "listen i think you sexy, you want to dance with me" or ask to sit down
if she says she doesnt want to then take her hand and look at her close and say "i want to get to know you, what do you think of me and you hooking up"
she will probably say "i dunno"
then you say "why dont we go sit down, i just wanna talk to you for a minute"
at that point you should have convinced her to chat, so there you go.. worst case scenario youre chatting with the girl alone you will bag her in no time

^^^^
worst.advice.ever

I dunno Infinity, that advice came from the "pimp zone"... hmmm, maybe something to try? I have to say, when I was at PVD I bought about ten people I didn't know freezies, I was pretty f*cked up, though, but as I recall I got a few smiles from some pretty girls for that! After, I went around like a freezie sniper, just lightly touching it to exposed skin wherever I saw it... I'm sure I almost got slapped a few times, but mostly they just smiled... If you want to approach at a club, I think it's easier than you think. It's all a matter of confidence, as I'm sure someone noted before.

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Originally posted by jdjd Alright guys listen up this is what you do: You walk into the club and find a hot girl you want then walk up, stand right in front of her, stop for a minute and look her up and down then say "whats up" she will probably say "hi" or maybe nothing then you say something about her that stands out, maybe look at her chest or something and comment on what she wearing she will probably smile or if you lucky start talking a bit then you say "listen i think you sexy, you want to dance with me" or ask to sit down if she says she doesnt want to then take her hand and look at her close and say "i want to get to know you, what do you think of me and you hooking up" she will probably say "i dunno" then you say "why dont we go sit down, i just wanna talk to you for a minute" at that point you should have convinced her to chat, so there you go.. worst case scenario youre chatting with the girl alone you will bag her in no time

I guess your "pimp" avatar isn't there just for kicks hahahaha If you're lucky she won't break a glass off the side of the counter and try to stab you repeatedly ;P I suggest everyone here try this advice at least once just to get the feel for "what not to do" ahah good one mate!

ok I am not single, but I am wondering what does "find who you are" exactly mean?

I guess I am a "go with the flow" kinda guy, and all this talk about finding the self is confusing me heh

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Originally posted by Enraptured I dunno Infinity, that advice came from the "pimp zone"... hmmm, maybe something to try? I have to say, when I was at PVD I bought about ten people I didn't know freezies, I was pretty f*cked up, though, but as I recall I got a few smiles from some pretty girls for that! After, I went around like a freezie sniper, just lightly touching it to exposed skin wherever I saw it... I'm sure I almost got slapped a few times, but mostly they just smiled... If you want to approach at a club, I think it's easier than you think. It's all a matter of confidence, as I'm sure someone noted before.

Hmm, I agree to some extent. While having confidence is deffinitely a positive thing in case of approaching strangers, it shouldn't be something that you're aware of. What I found out is that girls tend to be less affraid of an approach if it's something that sorta happens along the way.

I guess an example would be like this: You're waiting at the bar to get your drink, while the two girls are talking about something interesting, so from the side you throw in a comment, a little thing goes, and voila! However, if you don't think about the interaction starting up in the first place, then your confidence is naturally displayed and put to use, rather than just feeling damn good and feeling like you might make some sort of a point by doing it all :P

Maybe I'm crazy, but if a girl was to approach me, I'd much rather that it be through some sort of a conversation rather than if she were to hit on me directly :P Could explain why girls tell me I'm easily approachable Then again maybe because I'm hard to read, but always speak openly

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Originally posted by bass drive ok I am not single, but I am wondering what does "find who you are" exactly mean? I guess I am a "go with the flow" kinda guy, and all this talk about finding the self is confusing me heh

Actually buddy, you've got a point I find that thinking too much about any subject leads to the crushing of one's confidence and overall feeling of bliss, so like they say "ignorance is bliss" I say we just go with the flow :P ... kinda goes along with the above post

quote:

Originally posted by bass drive ok I am not single, but I am wondering what does "find who you are" exactly mean? I guess I am a "go with the flow" kinda guy, and all this talk about finding the self is confusing me heh

Passive. Exactly what you shouldn't be. I'd be surprised if that works very well for ya.

Ask any girl, they'll tell you they like a guy that "knows what he wants." To know what you want, you have to know what you are.

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Originally posted by DigiNut Passive. Exactly what you shouldn't be. I'd be surprised if that works very well for ya. Ask any girl, they'll tell you they like a guy that "knows what he wants." To know what you want, you have to know what you are.

You should know what you want/like but you shouldn't think of picking up a girl as a desparate last stand against all of the universe like most men do which is exactly why I say be casual and consider it like as if you're talking to someone you know well :P Most girls will find that non-threatening and will feel more comfortable around you. Now that's a simple answer

I'm going to have to go with Diginut on this one, MOST of the girls I've talked to about this agree, without being aggressive, that they like a guy who knows what he wants...

and as for finding who you are, it's different for everyone, maybe you are already "centred" in yourself, ie: know what you want, how to get it... or maybe you don't care, but I think that you're fooling yourself if you say that!

Thinking too much=bad. I agree. Intuition and impulse are usually right, I mean nine times out of ten, if you are getting some kind of vibe from a girl, you're right about it. It's just not always appropriate, like if she's your FRENCH TEACHER or something, you probably shouldn't make that move... and I definitely agree that I'd rather a girl approach me with convo over a "direct hit"... but I think you'll find that the fairer sex tend to be more subtle than that... heh heh, which is funny because guys, as a general rule, don't GET subtle... like me for instance!

Well, bedtime, keep posting gentlemen, I like where this is going!

quote:

Originally posted by Enraptured I'm going to have to go with Diginut on this one, MOST of the girls I've talked to about this agree, without being aggressive, that they like a guy who knows what he wants... and as for finding who you are, it's different for everyone, maybe you are already "centred" in yourself, ie: know what you want, how to get it... or maybe you don't care, but I think that you're fooling yourself if you say that! Thinking too much=bad. I agree. Intuition and impulse are usually right, I mean nine times out of ten, if you are getting some kind of vibe from a girl, you're right about it. It's just not always appropriate, like if she's your FRENCH TEACHER or something, you probably shouldn't make that move... and I definitely agree that I'd rather a girl approach me with convo over a "direct hit"... but I think you'll find that the fairer sex tend to be more subtle than that... heh heh, which is funny because guys, as a general rule, don't GET subtle... like me for instance! Well, bedtime, keep posting gentlemen, I like where this is going!

Problem is, we can't agree on this topic because of its nature. We've all dealt with different people, and we've all had different experiences, so to try to agree on a common ground certainly won't work :P

One thing I noticed is that people are drawn to other people who are much like them in the subconscious, which is exactly why I have had the experiences I have, and you've had expereinces with people who tend to be more agressive. Since we're different people, we flow in different crowds, which is exactly why we're both singing two different songs (well, trance in general unites us haha) so before any more arguments arise, here's my point:

Ah screw it, I'm too tired to draw another thought, g'night folks!

Just don't look like this and all will be way too well:

\

Im glad you guys like my plan.. im telling you its golden..
It has never failed

quote:

ignorance is bliss

I am not ignorat, I am just easy going

quote:

Ask any girl, they'll tell you they like a guy that "knows what he wants." To know what you want, you have to know what you are.

ok I know what I want, it's just all this talk about finding the self is new to me..
so finding the self = knwoing what you want?
well, what I want for now, is to finsih uni and travel alittle

2nd this is not about girls.
I noticed alot of you guys talk like 40 yr olds
in my opinion most girls my age [20] don't know what they want (well they know, but it's constantly changing)

any more input is appreciated
sorry to hijack the thread

"true luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home"

quote:

Originally posted by brunette "true luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home"

Oh I like that! Very wise too...

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Originally posted by Prod You should know what you want/like but you shouldn't think of picking up a girl as a desparate last stand against all of the universe like most men do which is exactly why I say be casual and consider it like as if you're talking to someone you know well :P Most girls will find that non-threatening and will feel more comfortable around you. Now that's a simple answer

Desperation has a lot to do with guys not knowing what they want. Knowing what you want involves knowing what kind of response you're expecting, what kind of things you want her to be able to talk about, etc. One guy on here (can't remember who) wore a shirt that said "Talk Nerdy to Me". I said, "does that ever actually work?" He said "Not often, but when it does it's the type of people I'm looking for." That's knowing what you want, knowing you can afford to be picky, knowing that you think they're hot but it's THEIR loss if they don't want to talk to someone who's smart, successful, great in bed, etc.

quote:

One thing I noticed is that people are drawn to other people who are much like them in the subconscious, which is exactly why I have had the experiences I have, and you've had expereinces with people who tend to be more agressive.

I'm sorry but I just don't buy that. Now I could see you saying that, in a longer-term relationship, personality traits can often turn out to be more important than common interests, which is true for me at least - most of the girls I "click" with are also cynical, sarcastic, pretty intelligent, etc.

But if what you're trying to say is that there's some divine force guiding us toward people who are the same "deep down", then that's simply not true.

I'll give you an example of why it isn't. There's this girl in my class, and it's pretty obvious that she likes me. And you know, she's kind of cute herself. Not "my eyes glaze over and I start sporting wood every time she's in the room" cute, just more like "wouldn't mind having her sit next to me" cute. So why don't I ask her out on a real date? Because I can't talk to her. Not because I'm afraid, but because she is as shy as shy gets, and we simply can't hold up a conversation for more than 2 minutes. I have tried, several times, but it just doesn't work. She's in the same program as me so we undoubtedly have common interests, but it would never work because I simply don't have the patience to walk her through every conversation.

What you guys have to understand is that when a girl thinks you're cute, it's most likely this same category of cute. Only a select few guys will ever enter a girl's mind as "Oh my god, fuck me now" cute - just "Hmm, he seems okay" cute. That means you have a chance - not a sure thing. If she's really hot, then you're probably more attracted to her than she is to you, but if she's somewhat attracted to you then you're fine as long as you do the footwork! But even if you do the footwork, if you come across as a blubbering idiot having nothing to say for yourself, then you lose. She's not going to be attracted to you based on how much you want her, it's going to be based on who you are.

Being a wuss is not "being yourself." And if you consider yourself to be particularly shy, then that is one occasion where you shouldn't be "yourself."

I never said anything about common interests, I meant personality driven. Interests are fine, but when you meet new people you know right away if you can "click" with them or not, I'm not sure if it's just by looking at their face, or the gut instinct, but you somehow feel right or wrong by talking to this person, exactly what you said about that girl :P So if they seem right, there is usually no problem holding up a conversation, else, you won't be able to tollerate the uneasy silence for more than a minute

quote:

Originally posted by bass drive what they want (well they know, but it's constantly changing)

No matter what stage a girl is in her dating life, she will always want "the basics" or as I like to call them, the 3 C's:

Cock, Cash, Car.

quote:

Originally posted by Sierra No matter what stage a girl is in her dating life, she will always want "the basics" or as I like to call them, the 3 C's: Cock, Cash, Car.

Well, I've got the 1st and the 3rd, but I'm broke as hell :P Well, the third ain't too muhc of a car, but hell, it's my own (i own, my insurance, my plates, blah blah blah). How many people my age can say that! ha!

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Originally posted by Prod Well, I've got the 1st and the 3rd, but I'm broke as hell :P Well, the third ain't too muhc of a car, but hell, it's my own (i own, my insurance, my plates, blah blah blah). How many people my age can say that! ha!

Thank god you didn't say "well the 1st isn't much of a cock"

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