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must get 4000th post 
w00000000000000000000000000000000000000t
err...of course!
...there's no page zero, so the 4000th post is on the 101st page LOL
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Trancey Ash CLASSIC! MSN: dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: OMFG!!!!!!!!!! there are people parked outside our house having sex in their car!!!!! matt >>>>> project magenta <<<<< OMFG GET THIS! < says: WHAT!!!!!!! dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: yes!!! OMG!!!! dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: this is soooo funny! matt >>>>> project magenta <<<<< OMFG GET THIS! < says: i bet your watching! dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: yes dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: hahahha matt >>>>> project magenta <<<<< OMFG GET THIS! < says: helen said go get the torch! DJ Helen - M3 - Bailamos (Matt Darey Remix) has been added to the conversation. dr ves // reckless, irresponsible teenager! says: my mum said "dont peep vanessa"! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Philby LOL!!!!!! u shoulda run out to them and knock on the window or something hehe haha make sure it wasnt your friends 16 year old sis huh inacoma? hehe |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by InAcoma good evening pplz hows everyone doing 2nite  |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Philby good evening only 3 hours 43 mins behind hehe |
Table Of Contents
I. Introduction
II. Props
III. How To Meet Chicks
IV. Calling Her After You Get The Number
V. The First Date
V. How To Impress A Chick
VI. Sex Tips
VII. How To Dump Chicks
VIII. How To Get Em Back Again
IX. General Dating Tips
X. Is She A Freak?
XI. Glossary
I. Introduction
Introductions, preludes, prologues etc. are generally bullshit, so I�ll keep this one short. Every dude should read this book, and I�m not just saying that because then I�d be rich and famous and be able to meet my lifelong goal of banging at least ten supermodels. Instead, what I mean is that everyone should research anything in which they desire proficiency.
Would you take a new job without asking what is expected of you? Would you place a bet with a bookie without trying to understand how his vig worked? Would you try to drive a bulldozer without someone explaining how those levers worked? If you said yes to any of these things then you are a douchebag, and this book probably wouldn�t help you get any chicks anyway. If, however, you said no; then you probably understand that there are certain things in life that require a little research. Picking up chicks requires a lot of research! It is not easy, but it sure as hell can be fun.
Read this book, get the required props, and then practice daily. The more you practice the better you�ll get. Even if you never achieve greatness, you will definitely double the amount of chicks you get�guaranteed.
II. Props
Before you start; every dude should own the following basics:
� $150 Shades. It�s important to look cool. Your kind shades will also help you to stealthily scope out talent in outdoor settings.
� $100 Shoes. Chicks always check out your shoes first. �pony up.
� Cell Phone. Buy a small one you can fit in your pocket (no belt clips allowed). The cell phone is key to getting numbers quickly and easily. It also helps if you plan to juggle more than one woman (see section on Juggling > 1) or are avoiding one you recently dumped.
� Caller ID. Fight fire with fire. All chicks have it, so cough up the $6 per month..it is sooo worth it.
� A Cool Pad. Get rid of the futons, hide the foosball table, get a nice bed, and buy lots of candles�.guaranteed to get you more lovin.
� Booze At Your Pad. There is nothing worse than having a hot chick ready to go home with you and you can�t say��let�s go over to my house�I have a really good bottle of wine.� Keep at least two bottles of red wine and some tequila or vodka around for emergencies.
back fraggle!
this book sounds, errr retarded
i have nothing in the aformentioned props post.
il is at 272
4 more pages!
post
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III. How To Meet Chicks
OK, now that you have the basic props, let�s take a look at how to score. Pulling chicks is easy.
Where. I find it�s easiest to meet girls where alcohol is involved. Therefore, bars and parties are best. The grocery store is for food shopping and chat rooms are for degenerates; go to a bar and do some cold calling man!
How to Dress
Wear whatever is hip. I prefer to shop at trendy stores like GAP or Abercrombie & Fitch, but wear something that is at least in style, especially the shoes. A couple of other items are:
� Chest Hair. If you got it, show it. Some chicks say they don�t like it, but they really do. Keep two buttons open at all times. They�ll more often than not comment, and/or feel you up.
� Jewelry. Chains and rings only work if you�re really good looking. Get rid of it all.
Talk To Them!
I usually like to get a good buzz on so I�m more outgoing. Don�t get too whacked though, pace yourself, and whatever you do don�t drink and drive. Bring a good wingman to the bar and look for good-looking women and go talk to them! It�s as simple as that. If you�ve ever been in sales, it�s like cold calling only your success rate will be much higher picking up chicks, then it will be selling copiers or stock. This is a simple numbers game: half the chicks you talk to will talk back, and half of those will give you their phone number if you ask.
The WingMan
Too many dudes spoil your game. I prefer to only hang with one dude when I�m scamming. If you go to a bar with a group of your boys, then let them hang while you and your wingman dig for digits.
The Good WingMan. Find yourself a wingman who is outgoing and funny. It doesn�t matter what he looks like as long as he�s willing to keep the conversation going. A good wingman will also jump on the occasional grenade for you (e.g. do the ugly one to help you out).
The Bad WingMan. The bad wingman is more interested in impressing his buddies than he is in picking up chicks. They usually stare at women as they walk by, or worse, they make lude or lucivious comments such as �yeah baby� or �ohhhhhhh, did you see that!�
A bad wingman will also cockblock or attempt an inappropriate sword fight. For those of you who do not know the subtle differences, I offer the following definitions.
Cockblock A cockblock is a guy who attempts to steal your prey by talking shit about you, thus making himself seem more attractive. Either that or he moves in and turns his back to you and begins to scam on your find. Avoid this dude.
Sword fight. A sowordfight is when two dudes attempt to work the same chick. This is perfectly legal if, and only if, they meet her at the same time. It is totally inappropriate for a dude to come over like a jackal trying to steal the prey form the lion who bagged it. It is sometimes legal if you are in a group, but generally its uncool. Avoid dudes who pull the inappropriate swordfight on a regular basis. If you find yourself in this situation, then it is legal to block him out. This is accomplished by continuing your conversation with the lady while turning your back on him. He�ll feel stupid standing there and will likely go away for a while till you seal the deal.
Placement/ The Post Up Move
It is key to properly place yourself at all times. This means that when you initially walk into the bar, don�t look for a table, or a space at the bar. Instead, look for the hotties and go stand next to them and order a drink. Eventually, you will have to talk to them. This also helps you avoid the embarrassment of having to walk over there to talk to them later. You look like cool guys just looking for a drink, when lookie here.
When Is the Number in Their Party Too Big?
She�s Alone. Easy pickings. Always talk to this girl. She is probably waiting on her girlfriend and feels stupid standing by herself. She�ll be very receptive.
Two Chicks. Two girls is usually fine, unless they are really into talking to each other and have their heads close together. This usually means they have important stuff to say, or else they�re dykes. Avoid these chicks.
Three Chicks or More. Doable, but you gotta really be on your game here. If there is a crowd then you have to carry and impress the whole crowd or else you�re sunk. Try to pull the whole group and see what falls out. If one is receptive then turn her away from her friends and work it solo.
Mixed Chicks and Dudes. This is virgin territory boys, so go after it! Most dudes are afraid to go up to groups of girls and guys, but if they�re not all coupled up, then go for it. No one else has talked to these girls all night because they think they are taken, and most likely, they are just friends with those dudes anyway. Make the dude into your friend instantly then work the chicks.
The Decoy. Feel free to bring a chick with your group. One that you don�t care about. Other chicks will see you with a girl and think you must be ok.
You�re Scanning The Bar and Spot One�What To Do?
The Look. If a chick looks back a second time when you�re checking her out, then she�s interested. Work your way over there and go for it. Have no fear: what�s the worst thing that can happen? Some chick you don�t know and will probably never see again, will think you�re a loser for about ten seconds then forget about you. I�ve had hundreds of girls shoot me down, but only one has ever dumped me (and that one doesn�t really count cause it was a long distance thing!).
Never Feed A Stray Cat. You don�t want to talk to the fat or ugly chicks when you are trying to hookup. They won�t leave you alone and the other chicks in the bar will brand you as a loser. Chicks check each other out and if they see you with a total cumdumpster then they�ll blow you off once you work you way over to them.
What To Do When You Encounter The One Night Stand
If you are alone then go talk to her. If you enjoyed it last time�work it again. She�ll likely call you an asshole a couple of times, but put on the charm. She fell for you once already..it�s like shooting fish in a barrel!
If you�re with another chick then you need to be very careful here. I recommend ignoring her or else just say Hi in passing. If you engage her in conversation then you run the risk of her saying �why didn�t you call?� This will sink you with your new babe for sure!
I also recommend you split as soon as you can. If your girl suspects something then tell her that the other girl is an ex girlfriend who is a borderline whacko/stalker and that you�d rather not talk about it. All chicks have had dudes stalk them, so she�ll agree with you that it is best to leave.
If for some reason you can�t leave, then watch out. Eventually, when your new babe goes to the bathroom, she might work her way over to chat. If this happens, tell her you�re on a date and can�t really talk but that you�ll call her. Then head to the bathroom yourself and if possible, grab your chick and make a B-Line for the door.
Chase the Antelope, Settle for the Rabbit. When you come into a bar that�s hoppin with babes, don�t go up to the first chicks you see checking you out. Save them for later, they�re money. Instead, go after the other hotties first and work your way back to the ones who where checking you out later. This also helps you to build momentum.
Buying Drinks. Some guys think this works, but I think it�s a waste of your money. Chicks will talk to you even if you don�t buy them drinks. I�m totally down with buying them shots or getting them fresh drinks once you�ve got the rap rolling.
Pickup Lines don�t usually work. I�ve tried them, and take my word for it; �Come here often� will make her run in the other direction. You can try to get cute with lines like �Is your name Visa? Cause you�re everywhere I wanna be,� but I prefer to keep it simple. Ask them a lot of questions about themselves (likes and dislikes if under 25 : job and hobbies if over 30) �and try to be funny. If you make it past the first two minutes then you�re home free.
One line that works is the Hey Stop Its Us line. Just wait for cute girls to come by and say �hey stop, its us!� and they�ll stop thinking they know you�just keep them talking and you�re in there.
If you really feel you need an opening line you can try the tried and true �Do you have a sister who works at XYZ? No? Ohh, cause I know this girl there who looks a lot like you�.My name is ______What�s yours?� A good wingman is key here. He can pick up any dead air time until everyone is more at ease in the conversations. Keep Em Laughing. Tell Jokes, humorous stories and soon they�ll be digging you.
What To Do In A Town Where There Is More Guys Than Girls. If the bars you go to are sausage fests, then you need to distinguish yourselves by dressing well and being aggressive. Don�t let the fellatio ratio scare you off.
Lying About Your Age. I prefer younger woman so I usually shave off a few years. They all do it too, so don�t feel so devious. Just play stupid later if they find out: tell them they must�ve misunderstood you (�30?? no, I said I was thirty-four, you must not have heard the four) . Watch out and be sure to add those years onto the year you graduated though or you�re busted!
Hit & Run. Talk, get their number, and move on! The longer you work it, the better the chance you�ll fuck it up. If they stay, then you leave or vice-versa. Use your cell phone for the assumed close. The assumed close is easy; just say �Hey, give me your number and maybe we can go out for a beer sometime.� This works every time. Then give her a business card so she�ll at least remember your name when you call. Always ask for their number, even if you are unsure..it�s an automatic no if you don�t ask! Get some balls and do it!!
She Says She�ll Call You? No she won�t �get her number or walk away�they never, ever call. Either she has a boyfriend or she isn�t into you�Bail.
Random Girl Gives You Her Number Without You Asking. Don�t call her..she�s a rabbit boiler.
How To Pickup Chicks That Have Boyfriends. If he�s with her, I don�t recommend even trying. If, however, he�s not there, then its fair game. All is fair in love and war! If she likes you then she�ll give you�re her work number and you can sneak around a little. This is actually quite titillating. This is not cool, however, if you know the guy. There are plenty of chicks out there�don�t ruin any friendships over them.
How To Pickup Strippers. This one is a little tricky. I recommend that you find out when the shift change is and start hanging out there a couple of hours before. Most strip joints change shifts at around 8 PM. If you get there at 5 or 6, then you have plenty of time to talk to them and convince them to go out to a bar with you when their shift changes.
Talk to them like you would any other girl. Hang out with your boys at a table with a central location and have a good time. If you go over and sit constantly at the stage then you look desperate. Just go over once in a while and drop a few ones. Eventually they will come and talk to you and your friends. Work it.
Mountain Chicks Vs. City Chicks. In the city you must be the aggressor because you might never see them again. In the mountains/small towns, you have to dress down a little and play it cool. In a small town, the chicks all know all the dudes etc, so they noticed you when you walked in the door. Play it cool for a while then strike up a conversation.
Best Cities To Pick Up Chicks In.
Contrary to popular belief San Francisco is not an easy place to meet lots of women. Many people think that because there is a greater proportion of women there, and because there is a large gay population, that the chicks will be receptive. This is not necessarily so.
Denver is Good. As a matter of fact, any city where there are a lot of new people moving in is good territory for scamming.
Dallas is Good�lots of hot chicks
Salt Lake has absolutely beautiful women, best in the world, but most are Morman..tough to pickup Mormons.
New England/New York City. Tough on an outsider. Chicks are very wary of any strangers.
Taking Them Home That Night. I prefer to run away and live to fight another day. I find that if I hang out too long I eventually say something stupid and screw it up. Some guys are all about trying to take them home that night. However, the odds of pulling them out of there are only good if its after 12:45 and/or getting near closing time. Try kissing her neck or cheek. If she responds and you�re making out in the bar..then you�re taking her home. Say something like �let�s go over to my house. I live really close and have a nice bottle of wine. I�ll make sure you get home in an hour or so. The so is usually the next day.
Beer Goggles. If your friends say don�t do it..then don�t. Dudes will rarely say anything unless she is either really hot, or is total swag. When they cry swag�go home alone
Talk It Out Later With Your Boys. Always laugh about what worked and didn�t the next day with your friends who were with you. It helps get you psyched and you�ll learn from your mistakes and theirs. Always watch what you say though. It�s a good habit to say �having sex� versus �banging.� If a chick hears you saying �yeah, so I�m banging this broad and..� they your done, but if she hears you say �I�m having sex with this girl and�� then your still golden.
Blind Dates & Set-Ups
Never, ever, ever go out on a blind date! It�s a totally uncomfortable situation that is bound to fail miserably. Instead, go for the setup if you can dig one up. I usually try fishing around my friend�s girlfriends and or my female co-workers. Ask her if she has any cute friends. If she says yes, get some details and ask for a physical description (preferably a picture). Ask her to bring her friend to happy hour the next week. This will allow you the chance to check her out, talk to her, and ask her for her phone number if you see fit. 30-40% of chicks are closet matchmakers�take advantage of that if you can.
fraggle where have you gone? we gotta do it!
AU TA LONGEST THREAD!
my learnered friend above has informed me to post some usless shit so here it is fellas!
IV. Calling Her After You Get The Number
Calling Chicks. After you get a number, you should always wait two days then call.
If She Answers Be yourself, funny, talkative etc. ; tell her about your great weekend, what you did etc. If she doesn�t remember you right away, don�t let it phase you�.just keep going, she�ll eventually catch up; or else she�ll be curious enough to want to check you out anyway.
If No Answer. ALWAYS ASSUME EVERY CHICK HAS CALLER ID!! If you call back repeatedly she�ll think you�re a stalker and you ain�t getting any. Don�t� leave a message. This is an advanced technique that works like a charm. If you call and get her machine, simply hang up. The chick will see your name and rack her brains to remember you. Even if she doesn�t remember you, more times than not she�ll still call you back.
If she doesn�t call you back, wait a day and then call, but be sure to block your number (*67 then dial # after dialtone). If you try *67 and get a message saying �we�re sorry, but this number does not accept blocked calls,� then you know she definitely has caller id.. Try her first at 6 PM (no message) and then at 10 PM from your cell phone. Leave a message that you are heading out for the night and if she gets in soon she can try you at ______#, or else you�ll try her tomorrow. Keep this up every other day after that with a single evening call, but don�t leave another message. She knows you called and has your number. Play the cool guy or she�ll think you�re a freak. If no response within a week, bail and convince yourself that the beotch wasn�t worth it anyway.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by InAcoma Id rather do it with..............  |
enjoy
note how i put enjoy in a whole new msg rather than editing the original... true post whore status.
hey ive just thought of a wicked game! we just say one word
and you reply with just one word
il start it off
haha
i was right, this book sucks.
V. The First Date
When. Always go for a weeknight; Thursday is best. Most women will let go and stay out later on Thursdays then they will on other nights. This is due to a widely held belief that there is only one more day of work left and that one can make it on less sleep and more booze. I also prefer weeknights, because if you are having fun you can stay out late with her. If it sucks you can always say �I�ve got a big meeting in the morning and have to get up early.� You can easily bail by 9 PM if she turns out to be a skank or a bitch.
Have her meet you at 7 PM: that way she will have eaten already. Chicks are always uncomfortable eating in front of guys they�ve just met. Never take her out to dinner until at least the third date.
Where. Have her meet you in a cool, funky bar that is not too loud. Never pick her up. Have her meet you there. This way she�ll feel more comfortable having her own car; and you can also make an easy escape if necessary. Pick a table or corner of the bar where you can sit close to her. Avoid big booths; they make it hard to touch her.
How. There are several basics that every dude should follow on the first date:
1. Keep Em Drinking
2. Don�t Say Anything Stupid
3. Make Em Laugh
4. Touch Them Once In a While (use to emphasize a joke or point). This will show her that you are interested in her and break the ice.
I also like to buy them a shot to loosen them up for the first kiss. The easiest way to accomplish this is to wait until they go to the bathroom and order it while they�re gone. That way they can�t object. I recommend ordering something sweet and with a kick: Layered B-52�s are money, baby!
The First Kiss. This is where most dudes blow it. Never, ever wait until you get to the car or (God Forbid) you have driven her home! Kissing on doorsteps is an urban legend that only works in the movies. Instead, try the surprise attack. Once you leave the bar just grab em and kiss em. Simple, but effective. Try brushing your lips against the corner of her mouth and then pull her close and slowly kiss her. Do not, I repeat, Do not grab any ass yet.
If the surprise attack works you should break it off first. I recommend no more than 30 seconds. Then as you walk her back to her car she�s feeling pretty good about it and you can have another makeout session or two along the way. When you get to her car pull her waist close to you and give her a long passionate kiss. You stop it first, say good night and walk away. Don�t tell her you had a good time, and definitely don�t tell her you�ll call her�.just walk away. It�ll keep her wondering �til you call �chicks like to wonder�.it�s romantic and titillating for them.
The Second Date. This time, you can pick her up. I prefer to try to get a little love at the door to break the ice. At least give her a hug and kiss on the neck here. She�ll think you�re happy to see her�they always let you, so go for it.
You can do whatever you want for the evening. I like to take her to a bar then club dancing: chicks love to dance. You could also take her to a bar and then dinner if you want. I would avoid movies at all cost; they tend to put you both to sleep. You could also cook dinner for her at your house. In any case, your goal is to get her back to your place, or hers if she wants. Don�t wait until you are ready to go home; instead, ask her early. Say �I have a really nice bottle of wine at my place�why don�t we go over there and have a glass of wine, and then I can bring you home in an hour or so.�
Once she is on your turf, she�ll be putty in your hands. An advanced technique guaranteed to speed up your time to the promise land is what I call the saving myself line. It�s quite simple. When you�re making out on the couch or wherever, try telling her (with a strait face) that you never sleep with women unless you�ve been dating them for at least a month. Then shut up!. This will process through her mind for a while and then she�ll become the aggressor. Chicks love a challenge. Four out of five times she�ll jump your bones that night.
Who Pays & When
The rules are as follows: You are the guy, so you pay 100% for the first month of any relationship. I know this sounds like bullshit, but its part of the game. Then, and only then, do you let her start carrying her own weight. Don�t fall into the offer to pay trap. A good woman will offer to pay or possibly go Dutch on the check. Don�t let her under any circumstances. She�ll talk it over with her friends and they�ll decide you are cheap. You�ll never get any lovin.
After you�ve been sleeping with her on a regular basis you can start letting her pay. A good benchmark is to compare salaries (you might not know hers, but you can probably guess). If she makes half of what you do, then you should probably play the sugar daddy role and suck it up most of the time.
batman
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