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-- Help.Girls problem...
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| Originally posted by Xer I'm afraid to get addicted to the feeling after I drink,so I try not to drink too much,you all say that you need to be yourself,but being drunk is not being yourself  |
dude whats wrong with you
you shouldve hit that
It's imperative that you (like all the other posters have already said) have confidence in yourself. You can't do anything without confidence, because you are stuck in more or less a perpetual loop of "what-if's". I know this, perhaps because I am not the most confident person myself. Just suck it up, you'll find it's really hard at first, and often you'll make an idiot of yourself if you take it too far (because it becomes blatantly obvious you are deathly afraid of whatever your doing when you exaggerate the situation).
I think this is something you got to either iron out with yourself, or seek professional help on the situation. While maybe your peers are technically the largest group of psychologists out there they certainly aren't the best. 
Re: Help.Girls problem...
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| Originally posted by Xer OK,guys beside my sister,you are my online shrinks,I feel I can tell you anything,and with all the people's experience here,maybe I can do something about myself,because now I totally hate myself So,I was at this party,my friend's birthday party,and she has a friend which is totally amazing,guys let me tell you,I don't mean to insult any of you girls,or your girlfriends,but you haven't seen a woman's beauty till you've seen this girl,OK? Not only her outside beauty,my sister said that she's a really sweet person too,it's not a problem to get her number from my sister, I couldn't speak when I saw her,she said to me her name and nice to meet you,while with all thehuge lack of self-confidence I couldn't even say "nice to meet you too",anyway at that point I decided not to look at her too much. I'm 20,never had a girlfriend in my life,never trying to "put my charm" on any girl that I liked,I'm totally don't have self-confidence,I don't have a car,don't have too much money,I don't know what to do with girlfriend if I don't have those stuff,you know after couple of times we'll go out within the city,what will I do if I'll want to take her somewhere else? I have no experience whatsoever with girls,I don't dance slow-dance,don't dance at all,don't know what do I have to offer that girl to keep her with me in the long term,and the short term as well,I think that if she's so beautiful,she must have a boyfriend,and if not,so something must be wrong with her,so I don't think it worth it-the pain of rejection,I'll never know if it's because of me,or something else,I'm too pessimistic when it comes to girls,I don't think I'm worthy of any girl out-there,because I'm too much looser,and don't have to offer much. What to do with it? How to live with it? It's killing me,I want a girlfriend and I don't know how to get a girl and how I will keep her with me if I have nothing to offer her except probably my love,but as we know it's not enough these days,you got to have the looks,the car,the cash,the job,the places to go to and everything else-I don't have any of those things.I'm of the people that things don't work out for them so well,even when I try and give all I have. That's the story of my life,I see a girl,think of all my shortcomings,think that probably if I say all that I written above to that girl then she'll probably reject me on the spot,so I don't even try,although I feel inside me that I can really love and respect my girl,but as I said before it's not enough these days. So,any advices? |
Just try being her friend for awhile... see how it goes from there.
you should take it in steps...
start of with ok looking girls. and get some experience.
get confidence. then work up to what u want to get. It will help u out in the long run.
but.......
u might find that fine ass girls aren't "perfect" or all that you might have imagined. 
yeah...and working out helps your self-esteem
Yeah, having low self esteem will leave you wondering what if she would go out with me or not.
The bottom line is what do you have to lose...
There are 2 types of girls in this world. Well guys are the same kind of
1)open minded people-->open to most or all kinds of people, even you if you just have a convo with her because it all starts with communication and thats a good thing.
2)close minded people-->no matter what you did or said from the first second you met you don't have a chance. Some people in this worl are very picky and don't mind diss'n anyone for the perfect person.
What they call talking to girls is game. I tell my friends I have no game and use my simple chat to get girls and it works. Don't be too cocky like say how big you %^&* is to a girl. What kind of topic is that if you heard some chatting about that. Very stupid. Just simple stuff to find out about each other. The more a girl knows about you the more she can trust you and then thats the ticket. She trust you then she knows she can be with you.
Guys can find random girls because its about sex"not every guy I will speak for". Girls on the other hand have more feelings and influcences in their life to give them a well defined answer to who her BF will be.
here's my tip that i have learned from first hand experience.
make sure u feel good about yourself and ur confident. when u are, it gives off a vibe that girls dig as long as u dont take it to a cocky, arrogant level..
for me, i was overweight b4 but once i slimmed down and was happy with myself, instantly i noticed alot more positive interaction with girls.
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| Originally posted by SgtFoo "Better to have loved and lost, than never having loved at all." |
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| Originally posted by freckle try it sometime if you havent... see how you feel afterwards, not harping by any means, but ive been down that road, all the way to church and been left, so the cliche is a mute point, sorry just had to add my 2cent. peace |
thanke
<--- bad spellor
Dude, don't be too harsh on yourself: Yes, you're shy, but a lot of people are shy. And you know something? We all get to the finish line, both the shy people and the non-shy ones. We all get there at some point and it's not hard, it's as natural as breathing.
Besides, you're still a little young. In a couple of years you'll have a more detached attitude and more opportunities than ever, because right now (at your age) everybody is just playing pointless games that lead nowhere (unfortunately).
In the meantime do see a shrink.
first things first. you have to be happy with yourself before you try to make anyone else happy. this includes starting to feel confident about yourself and believe that you are an important and special person and that you DO have things to offer, even if you don't have a car or lots of money. happiness is the key to life, and if you can be happy, you can achieve anything you put your mind to.
i told a friend over the weekend, the truest love happens when you least expect it. i really believe in that.
yeah basically whqat they are saying is go tp page 1 and read y post
there's only one url for u...
www.sosuave.com
If reading shit from this site doesn't wake you up to reality.. then my friend... im sorry...
It's helped me... not only on self confidence but as life in general...
You need to just wake up and make a move. Everybody gets rejected. And honestly half the fun is just meeting the girl.
First of all go through these questions ?
1. If she is Really Fit why aint she got a B/F ?
2. If she is 20 too then why aint she in a relationship
3. Fit girls are complete bitches on the inside, towards over girls she might be nice,
Just dont jump the gun and blow your load, id stick to porn , fuk it.
i would honestly go see a shrink or something....maybe he/she can help you gain some self-esteem and confidence, but until then, you prolly won't get a girlfriend. i'm a girl and the most unsexy thing is a guy who hates himself and underestimates himself. it doesnt matter that you dont have money or a car, thats not what a relationship is about. work on loving yourself first before you try to love anyone else! good luck
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| Originally posted by KaPs Just try being her friend for awhile... see how it goes from there. |
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