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- Europe - United Kingdom & Ireland
-- Friyay
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Back once again, with the ill behaviour (For those confused between prison and work):
IN PRISON
>
> You spend the majority of your time in an 8 X 10 cell.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You spend the majority of your time in a 6 X 8 cubicle/desk.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You get three meals a day
>
> AT WORK
>
> You only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You get time off for good behaviour.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You get more work for good behaviour.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> The guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You must carry around a security card and open all the doors for
>
> yourself.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You can watch TV and play games.
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> AT WORK
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> You get fired for watching TV and playing games.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You get your own toilet.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You have to share with some idiot who pees on the seat.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> They allow your family and friends to visit.
>
> AT WORK
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> You can't even speak to your family.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> All expenses are paid by the taxpayers with no work required.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes
>
> from
>
> your salary to pay for prisoners.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You spend most of your life inside bars wanting to get out.
>
> AT WORK
>
> You spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.
>
>
>
> IN PRISON
>
> You must deal with sadistic wardens.
>
> AT WORK
>
> They are called managers.
Sorry about all the >>>>, couldn't be analled to delete em!! 
Re: Friday Afternoon Fun!!
Classy thread 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik LMFAO @ those pickup lines. Now for something a bit more physical to keep you amused for the remainder of the day: While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction. I consider this to be very sketchy  |
freaky
Its officially halfway thru friyay afternoon
omg HOME TIME!!!!!!!!!!!
yay
Friday NIGHT!
yeh! 
I'll be in work in 13 hours 
So much for the fucking weekend
| quote: |
| Originally posted by AndskiSpeed I'll be in work in 13 hours So much for the fucking weekend |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj_mdma What do u call an Epileptic in a Bush? Russell. |
More friday funnies to help u through the day:
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.
The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meeself shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ahcould nay find him either."
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells.... SUPPLIES !!!!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik More friday funnies to help u through the day: An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched. He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile." The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meeself shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ahcould nay find him either." The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells.... SUPPLIES !!!! |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by sykadelik ROFL, that was class mate! Are you the weakest link? Below are four (4) questions. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of themimmediately. OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are. Ready? GO!!! (scroll down) First Question: You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are absolutely wrong!! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second! Try not to screw up in the next question. To answer the second question, don't take as much time as you took for the first question. Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST person?! You're not very good at this are you? Third Question: Very tricky math! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100. Don't believe it? Check with your calculator! Today is definitely not your day. Maybe you will get the last question right? Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Answer: Nunu? NO! Of course not. Her name is Mary. Read the question again. Definately something to frustrate smart people  |
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