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OMG i just remebered, sum mofo at school was the biggest scab... <--- means when you take shit off other ppl.. anyways... always @ lunch time he used to ask ppl for money, and by the end of lunch time the MOFO had so much form ppl that he ate better then all of us, cause we had to buy our food here in Australia, no fancy american cafeterias.. heheh.. anyways.. point is.. would you scab... damm thats low!

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Originally posted by Mrs.Spice I heard a prostitute tell a homeless girl w homeless person: do you have a quarter? street ho: (screaming and obviously on speed) "Why don't you go suck a dick for it like I do?!?!?!?"

You think i can claim a charitable tax deduction for "donating" money to a whore?

Dealing with pan handlers everyday after work in the city parking lot, got old, listening to the same stories. my favorite was someone stole my money and i need to buy a bus ticket...

Re: Funniest thing I've ever heard from a homeless person

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Originally posted by Essential1 I was walking down the streets of downtown toronto last night, and this homeless guy came up to me. he said "I have no money, I wanna get drunk & I don't like fat chicks." I was laughing so hard I gave him $5

I've seen a guy holding a sign that said, "Why Lie? I need to get high!" My friend said he saw a guy sell his pants for some X. Pretty sad really.

one time, there was this homeless man who kept saying over and over to my friend "i'll buy that for a dolla" in a british accent! hahhaha it was soo funny

BWAHAHA one time this dude said this


"Please help me! im so cold and lonely! Have mercy on me for God has surely abandoned me. Only through the charity of stranger am I allowed to live. Please, kind master, spare my life for another hour?"

HAHAHAH i totally spit on him and frolicked away into the night.

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Originally posted by Orbax HAHAHAH i totally spit on him and frolicked away into the night.

that's so totally cruel, but i too would be like "get the cock away from me"

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Originally posted by montie ooh also i remember my friend telling me about these bums up in San Fran, called wood bums. They dress up in camo gear and decorate them selves with sticks and leaves and hide in bushes along the street. When someone walks by they jump out of the bush screaming scaring the shit out of the people passing by then hold out their hands and kindly ask for money.

When I was in San Fran one of those guys jumped out at us. I was walking with my dad, and it scared the shit out of him lol.

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Originally posted by trancEyes22 one time, there was this homeless man who kept saying over and over to my friend "i'll buy that for a dolla" in a british accent! hahhaha it was soo funny

When I was in DC I bought a blind woman and her daughter some popeyes (brand of fried chicken in America). I suppose you could call that irony since her eyes appeared to be gouged out. Needless to say I felt bad for them.

Well this one time me and my friends were hanging around the city when this homeless guy game and asked for a buck, we gave him the dollar but then i saw him a couple minutes later at a arcade with a full wallet of 100 dollar notes...

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Originally posted by DaveSaenz When I was in San Fran one of those guys jumped out at us. I was walking with my dad, and it scared the shit out of him lol.

hahah thats great!

my friend was telling me that once he saw one jump out at a mother and her small child. the child screamed and freaked out and started crying. the guy held out his hand for money, and the mother screamed at him for like 5 min.

I was with a bunch of my dumbass friends in Paris once, and there was this guy who came up to us and said "Hey are you guys from Texas?" and we said no, "we're canadians". Then the guy said, "Yeah right me too! Where from canada are you from??" where we followed with saying "toronto" where he said "NO WAY me too!" where he continued saying "Look I need some extra cash to get myself back to my hotel, I've just been robbed and need some metro fare" Where of course my idiot friends believe this story and all gladly give him money. I knew they believed him because as we were walking away one of them said "Hey what are the chances of that seeing another canadian here"

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Originally posted by montie hahah thats great! my friend was telling me that once he saw one jump out at a mother and her small child. the child screamed and freaked out and started crying. the guy held out his hand for money, and the mother screamed at him for like 5 min.

Yeah, I was also in San Fran and saw the same kind of guy. He scared the shit out of everybody walking by him.

My story: I was pumping gas and this 10 year old little punk comes up to me and goes "You have a $1?" I said "I don't have any cash." So I go and pay for gas with cash. The little rodent watches me, and when I come back he says "I saw you pay with cash." I said "Yeah, but you asked for a 41, I don't have a $1, I have $5, $20, even a $50 bill." Sooooo the little idiot even has the balls to say "Give me $5 and I'll bring your change back"!!!

Emil

haha, i just rememered another funny story...
me and my friends were outside of a movie theatre having a smoke, when this guy comes up to us & asks for a smoke. so i gave him one b/c he looked like a cool bum. he's standing next to us, smoking, when he started going on about how he's from florida but he's stranded here. he was like "i'm from florida & i met a canadian woman last year who was visiting her friend. so we fell in love and got married 6 months later. when we came back to canada to visit her family i found out the whore was already married! so i beat the shit out of her husband & went to a hotel. when i checked out that night i forgot my wallet and passport in there so i've been stuck here ever since. i ran out of money and want to go home to the house i have in florida. would you guys be so kind as to help me out?"
me and my friends just looked at each other & ran to our cars. as we drove by him on the way out, he yelled "you stupid canadians! you're all whores!"

hahahahaha

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Originally posted by Essential1 ....he yelled "you stupid canadians! you're all whores!"

hehehe....

i should watch out for the tree people since i'm in san fran now. i just ignore bums though, but i don't want to get scared. at least i'll always think about this now, too.

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Originally posted by montie hahah thats great! my friend was telling me that once he saw one jump out at a mother and her small child. the child screamed and freaked out and started crying. the guy held out his hand for money, and the mother screamed at him for like 5 min.

The funny thing is that he looked just like a bush because he was so well camouflaged.

Just last week I was working downtown, and some homeless guy came up to me and asked me to spare a quarter, so I gave him some of the spare change that I had.

Next thing I know, he's asking me why don't I spare another dollar? "You have plenty of money." He says to me! wtf? He started to get all up in my face. Really pissed me off. I tried to help and he gets an attitude? I wanted to tell him to stfu.

I remember seeing this one bum wearing the new nike air maxs, after seeing that I was not donating to his sneaker fund. It cracked me up. I was like man a bum has better snakers than me.

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Originally posted by n0bben- we have a bum around here who seems kinda weird. he goes around with worn clothes and large black sacks. he's collecting cans, strange thing is that i've heard he's pretty rich.. alot of ppl tells me he's rich.. dunno.. i maybe should become a bum

lol same here the bum here is kinda short and got a big beard! You can usually see him around the trainstations.

I saw a homeless guy with a thousand dollar discman

i was driving to work one time and passed by this bum holding up a sign "yeah i know, get a job you bum" I gave him my business card.

Hell, the only thing I do nowadays when walking through the city is dodging bums and other people who want money.

My record so far, is getting stopped three times by people who want me to sign up for donating money monthly, once by some weird religious group and a few times by other random people wanting my money (or my cellphone). All this on not even 500m walking distance!

Everytime a bum asks me for change now I say

"Change comes from within"

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Originally posted by xKaoSx Everytime a bum asks me for change now I say "Change comes from within"

Haha! yes! and then you stab him! *cough* i mean

the bums outside the afterhours club in calgary all seem to adopt the honesty method.
One asked me for a buck or two so he could 'get a 40, a room and a crack whore'
another asked me for a small bill(smallest in Canada is 5) so that he could get a rock to get him through to the morning.

one night in miami when my friends and i were leaving the old space after seeing picotto.. we were staying in a hotel about a half a block from the club and a bum followed us the whole way rapping some tune... it sounded groovy and then all of a sudden he was like "GIMME SOME MONEY" it was random

in gainesville there is a bum that runs around the city with his arm in the air for jesus.. if you ever see him running and its not up, if you honk at him he will put it back in the air and keep running...

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Originally posted by tranceDJ The homeless dogs need help too...

Awww... he's so cute!

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