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-- Rules for crapping at work
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hahaha walk of shame is classic...
roffle.
here r my additions
POWER DUMP
form of hot diarreha, u shit so hard and so fast it gets stuck to the back of the bowl, stinks to high heaven too
PLONKER
see WATERMELON
SKIDS
where ur shit is slow and stinky, usually warm and a hell to wipe away, leaves a massive streak of shit down the shitter when flushed
FLOATER
weve all been there
SMOOTHIE
the smooth shit...u shit and it leaves ur ass clean, usually doesnt stink up the place, but its heaven to clean ur ass 
THE RICHARD
the warm hard poo which just stinks and stinks more when left alone.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by KilldaDJ SMOOTHIE the smooth shit...u shit and it leaves ur ass clean, usually doesnt stink up the place, but its heaven to clean ur ass |
i had a SMOOTHIE RICHARD this morning, 'twas the weirdest thing ever.......
the worst are ghost shits....the shits that u take and thety felt huge but when u get up and look into the toillete theres nothing there....WHERE DID IT GO!!!!?!?!
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Vivid Boy the worst are ghost shits....the shits that u take and thety felt huge but when u get up and look into the toillete theres nothing there....WHERE DID IT GO!!!!?!?! |
i pull this at work all the time:
NERVOUS NANCY: When another person walks in the bathroom and you attempt to hold your shits until they have left in order to avoid WATERMELONS and to remain unknown. This is crucial for avoiding the WALK OF SHAME.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Floorfiller i pull this at work all the time: NERVOUS NANCY: When another person walks in the bathroom and you attempt to hold your shits until they have left in order to avoid WATERMELONS and to remain unknown. This is crucial for avoiding the WALK OF SHAME. |
ok, how about this....
you (a guy) walk into a bathroom to take a piss and all the strategically placed urinals are taken (aka you HAVE to stand next to someone)...
what i do is pretend i walked to wash my hands / face... lol... i like to wash my face often anyways....
ROFLMAOF, hate takin a crap at work for all the reasons listed. What makes thoses rules even more funny is they're all true.
Lol, that's funny as shit. I may have to post that on my cubicle at work and post them on the inside doors of the bathroom stalls, so people can read while they pinch their loaves.
omfg, guys, true story:
i was just in the bathroom doing my business, but someone CRACKWHORED all the toilets, so i had to make a BIRD'S NEST and then let out some JAILBREAKERS together with WATERMELONS... fortunately no one was in the bathroom at the same time, although UNCLE TED came in like a minute later, so i had to STAKE him OUT in order to prevent the WALK OF SHAME....
Has anyone mentioned the REVENGE OF THE TURDS yet?
Where the turd makes such a splash as it hits the water that the splash comes up and hits your ass.
Then there's the WAVEBREAK, where you lay down some toilet paper on the surface of the water to avoid the REVENGE OF THE TURDS.
Come on guys lets keep these coming. They are cracking me up hard! Here some more:
UPPER DECKING - When you take the lid off the top of the toilet and take a shit up in the workings of the unit. Then replace the lid.
THE UNCLE BURNEY - When you fart on a BIRD'S NEST and it catches on fire due to your sulfuric asswind.
THE ORPHAN ANNIE - The little turd that is left over after flushing that just won't go away. Sometimes the orphan annie will stay around after 2 or even 3 flushes.
THE DINOSAUR EGG - A gastrointestinal triumph. One in a million. The one that plugs the toilet clean and floods the bathroom. The one everyone will be talking about for years to come. Usually the result of the buildup from holding several POWER DUMPS during times like a first date, graduation, etc...
this should be published
| quote: |
| Originally posted by X-Multiply THE ORPHAN ANNIE - The little turd that is left over after flushing that just won't go away. Sometimes the orphan annie will stay around after 2 or even 3 flushes. THE DINOSAUR EGG - A gastrointestinal triumph. One in a million. The one that plugs the toilet clean and floods the bathroom. The one everyone will be talking about for years to come. Usually the result of the buildup from holding several POWER DUMPS during times like a first date, graduation, etc... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by X-Multiply THE DINOSAUR EGG - A gastrointestinal triumph. One in a million. The one that plugs the toilet clean and floods the bathroom. The one everyone will be talking about for years to come. Usually the result of the buildup from holding several POWER DUMPS during times like a first date, graduation, etc... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by whiskers what about the one where it's not the dinosaur egg, but still clogs the toilet? i have 3 on my count |
) and said hello 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by igottaknow never done that but I once laid one that was so long it stood up (above the water line! ) and said hello |
that must be from ratemycrap.com you disgusting bastard 
| quote: |
| Originally posted by jdjd that must be from ratemycrap.com you disgusting bastard |
geez... and i was eating too.
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