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-- My Confusion ( Girls )
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I've found that dance clubs are not really good for meeting girls. You're probably better off going to an R&B club.
Have you tried flirting with Maccas chicks?
Check out chicks at supermarkets tend to be really flirty as well.
Just ask for their number and then take them out.
Amusement parks are also goldmines for chicks.

1st of all don't move this thread to the chillout room! That's the quickest way to kill an intelligent discussion.

Like others have previously said: body language, confidence, eye contact, and a relaxed attitude are essential qualities for landing a girl. I had a friend who embodied these characteristics and let me tell you he had all the women he could handle and then some.

But its not as simple as turning on light switch to be more charasmatic and confindent. Some are born with it but others need to "work" at it. Last night I was reading book on public speaking at borders. The author stressed that how you say something is more important than what you say. Body language and confidence, which can be achieved through relaxation exercises and positive visualization, are key to success. Deep breathing and other yoga techniques can be used to reduce anxiety. Positive imprinting, imagining yourself succeding before you do something, becomes a self fulfilling prophesy.

quote:

Originally posted by LiL_Kandi_AngeL like i say to all my friends who are single and ask the same questions is... Stop looking.. it will find you when the time is right, and when you least expect it.

i'll drink to that

no matter how much you try the more you look the less you'll find...
it's always gona be the last place you look... so why bother trying to find it it will find you just like losing tape.. when you need it the most at a certin moment it's not there.. but when you dont need it it's always there..

quote:

Originally posted by Skipper I find it funny how most (if not all?) replies in this thread are by males.

dun ya know .. ? TA first started off as a male support group .. do a search for "male sob stories" in the chillout room and u'll find like a million threads ..

i guess trance has a tendacy to attack a lotta single men or something ..

quote:

Originally posted by Endlesswave I usually have an insanely hard time when it comes to talking to women at a club or in similar circumstances. (Even if they smile at me, it's like I can't smile on command, it has to happen naturally even if I think the girl is really cute). It's bizarre. All I know is just fight the urge to do nothing and approach the girl, this is what I am trying to do...I figure a simple "Hi, what's up?" and strike up a convo about the club they're at, music etc. Who knows, might work, might not. If it doesn't, no big loss, continue to do your own thing.

BIGUPS TO THA DJ KURFEW!

oh ya another piece of advice..if u start taklking to some girl in a club and she asks if u want to go for a drink say no....i watch many a person fall for this trick..they go buy the girl a drink and before they have time to turn around and say cheers the girl is gone with her drink...ive fallen for this once luckily im a vengeful mother****** and i saw the same girl later on in the night told her to come for another drink ordered it got the drinks and said "this ones on you thnx." and took off

quote:

Originally posted by Spyder i'll drink to that no matter how much you try the more you look the less you'll find... it's always gona be the last place you look... so why bother trying to find it it will find you just like losing tape.. when you need it the most at a certin moment it's not there.. but when you dont need it it's always there..

Amen to that is all I have to say... All men that I have been involved with came into my life when I LEAST expected it... and how did I know that it might work? You just get a feeling, that excited, butterflies in your tummy, nervous feeling that is so deliriously fun! It is very hard to not look at times, I do agree, but if you can just turn off your conscious mind and go with the flow, you'd be amazed at what might happen!

#1: Get out of your pants.

quote:

Originally posted by Pixiechick Amen to that is all I have to say... All men that I have been involved with came into my life when I LEAST expected it... and how did I know that it might work? You just get a feeling, that excited, butterflies in your tummy, nervous feeling that is so deliriously fun! It is very hard to not look at times, I do agree, but if you can just turn off your conscious mind and go with the flow, you'd be amazed at what might happen!

and that dude would have never came into ur life if he didnt approach u...u girls can wait for it because guys approach girls not visa versa (well its rare)...so if we wait for the perfect girl to come running into us by fluke itll never come...this is to the guy who started this post...dont take these women advice...theyre talking abt their part in the game, the male part of the game is way different, we're on the offensive theyre on the defence...thats twhy they keep saying wait and itll just happen...cause they dont have to do any work....now get out thre take my advice in other posts and play ur part of the game...be the man who just appeared into these girls lives be the man that gives them butterflies in the stomach...take control!

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy oh ya another piece of advice..if u start taklking to some girl in a club and she asks if u want to go for a drink say no....i watch many a person fall for this trick..they go buy the girl a drink and before they have time to turn around and say cheers the girl is gone with her drink...

ahahaha. I have done this.

Not to nice, innocent genuine guys though. I only do this to the creeps who talk to me and talk to me and follow me around a club and then BEG to buy me a drink, as if it's a last resort - "ok, maybe if I buy her a drink she'll feel obliged to stay and talk to me."

If they don't take the hint the first time, second time, etc...then hopefully they'll take the hint when I walk off with the drink they just bought me.

It aint a game, peoples feelings (including yours) are at stake.. Though in some small part I do agree with VividBoy, if you want someone you have to be pro-active and let them know, without really letting them know. My understanding (of which there is none concerning girls) is that the more you push forward, the more the girl moves backward.. so stop.. move backward and watch the girl move forward.. (yea that made sense right?) It's about confidence in the end, I've read many a philosophical book, stating that you are what you think, If you believe that your a great guy (without being concieted or egotistic) then others will believe this too. Don't analyze, live your life, be yourself, believe in yourself and above all have fun, that's what in the end .. is attractive!

well i totally agree with u...but thats a different stage in the game thats after u approach and sold urself and the girl is intrested..u do the backing off during the phone talk....man i have a whole manual on this lol...

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy well i totally agree with u...but thats a different stage in the game thats after u approach and sold urself and the girl is intrested..u do the backing off during the phone talk....man i have a whole manual on this lol...

It can also be in the initial stages of the relationship when you're first meeting the person. Some guys can be really pushy or overtly obvious of their intentions. Step back, show her that your there, and that your slightly interested, the balls in her court after that, if she sends the ball back, then great... if not don't let it get to yah, remember (as terrible as it may sound) there's lots of other fish in the sea, and every single one of them is just as tasty..

At the bar/lounge:

First establish eyecontact, second eyecontact, maybe
you'll get a smile. Smiles are good. Then it's time to move.

But as some others have told the best places to pick up chicks are at the universities/colleges/highschool or private parties.

Anyways, I included a little something from my archives:



The Dating Insider

well we're agreeing on the same exact thing we should start a dating service dude

ok, this might be an offensive post


but i speak from experience & good sources



girls at clubs are good for one thing. i'm sure you know what that is.


never look for a gf. if it's gonna happen it just will.

i met my gf at a wedding 2 years ago, me and my bro were at one table, btu it was full, her group was also at a table that was full

we got a new table and i sat next to her.
go her number, planned to call her in a week or so.

next day, i'm out at a hortons i never hang out at, she shows up with one of her friends, she never hangs out there either.

weird shit, just meant to be ya know.


b4 her i looked and looked and only found good times, but nothing serious

Couple of things to add:

Interesting that someone said to post this in the chillout room. Actually, I think it's very appropriate that it was posted here, because the types of girls you meet in clubs in Toronto are not exactly the same ones you'll meet in, say, Montreal. It is a different game here, and my only advice to anyone trying to strike up conversations in clubs is, don't bother.

Honestly, it wouldn't matter if you were the hottest guy in the club - the girls in Toronto clubs are accustomed to grease, sleaze, and date-rape drugs, and are generally paranoid (or at the very least, apprehensive) about talking to any guy. This is most applicable to singles bars or big clubs like the Guvernment... lounges and raves are a little different and more friendly.

Before anyone attacks me, I'm not saying that these girls are bitches - try talking to them outside the club and you'll see a totally different person. They just have their force fields up inside the clubs, and unless charm is as natural to you as brushing your teeth, you are very, very unlikely to get through to them. Of course, there are some friendly ones, just like there are some decent guys, but the odds of finding them in the massive crowd are against you.

Another thing: girls, especially good-looking ones, love to say "don't look for people" and "be yourself." Don't do that. Despite all the feminist propaganda, guys are still expected to make the first move, and that means you have to keep your eyes open. That doesn't mean start aggressively hitting on every girl who walks by - it means, hold your eye contact (fight the temptation to look at the floor or your friends), smile, and if you see them looking at you more than once or twice, go and say hi to them when they're not dancing or talking to their friends.

Sometimes they'll even make it easier for you and drift toward you, or brush against you on their way to the bar or the bathroom... that's not usually a coincidence if you've been looking at each other for the past 20 minutes.

One last thing, and this applies to the girls reading this too: if you are going to ask someone their name, it is customary to introduce yourself first. That may sound silly, but 2 or 3 extra words can make a big difference.

soooooo .. bitter Aaron ..

Phew, this is my first post in this board since quite a bit!

quote:

Originally posted by wienerschnitzel take into consideration the girls that are already around you instead of looking in specific places.

quote:

Originally posted by Vivid Boy and that dude would have never came into ur life if he didnt approach u...u girls can wait for it because guys approach girls not visa versa (well its rare)...so if we wait for the perfect girl to come running into us by fluke itll never come...this is to the guy who started this post...dont take these women advice...theyre talking abt their part in the game, the male part of the game is way different, we're on the offensive theyre on the defence...thats twhy they keep saying wait and itll just happen...cause they dont have to do any work....now get out thre take my advice in other posts and play ur part of the game...be the man who just appeared into these girls lives be the man that gives them butterflies in the stomach...take control!

Two great pieces of wisdom there! Integrate them and you get, "opportunity is everywhere, when you see a chance jump for it!"

Isn't that true for anything in life?

My advice to you (that is hopefully unique so far, I don't want to waste time by repeating what others have said) is not to intellectualize too much about this. I.e., forget the "10 dating tips" and "5 qualities a man must have" and all that, but remember that somewhere out there is a girl (or more!) that would love to be with you and vice versa. You just have to act the way you are, if everyone followed the "5 qualities a man must have" then those qualities wouldn't work anymore!

So stop thinking about it and just follow your impulses. I.e., if you see a girl at work, and you get the feeling of talking to her, talk to her. If you are just walking down a street and see a girl drop something, and you have the urge to pick it up for her, then pick it up for her. If you are sitting in class and there is a girl next to you with cool shades (or whatever) and you get the urge to complement them, then complement the shades. Just "follow your heart" as the cliche goes, or equivalently, don't follow your rational thoughts!!!

That is, in the above situation where a girl drops something on the street, and you get the urge, the feeling to pick it up for her, BUT you get a thought, "Ahhh but it will look embarassing, people will think I'm just trying to hit on her or that I'm an egotistical gentleman-wannabe", or even worse, "Why should I pick it up, she won't care", don't listen to that thought! If you do, you will regret it later on, thinking, "It would've been great if I picked it up for her." So just go with the feelings. They are always right. Your mind is wrong, or more accurately your dialectical, discursive mind (that just chitchats and doesn't commit, always being "Should I or shouldn't I?") is wrong. Life isn't for the people who sit on the fence, life rewards the people who dive into it. So dive into it!

Good luck man, take confidence in yourself right now, you are perfect as you are, or perfectly imperfect as you are (which is the same thing), and remember that you are just one of thousands who are in the same boat, so there's nothing "wrong" with you.

quote:

Originally posted by Pixiechick Amen to that is all I have to say... All men that I have been involved with came into my life when I LEAST expected it... and how did I know that it might work? You just get a feeling, that excited, butterflies in your tummy, nervous feeling that is so deliriously fun! It is very hard to not look at times, I do agree, but if you can just turn off your conscious mind and go with the flow, you'd be amazed at what might happen!

\


i miss the butterflies..

quote:

Originally posted by Alccode Phew, this is my first post in this board since quite a bit! Two great pieces of wisdom there! Integrate them and you get, "opportunity is everywhere, when you see a chance jump for it!" Isn't that true for anything in life? My advice to you (that is hopefully unique so far, I don't want to waste time by repeating what others have said) is not to intellectualize too much about this. I.e., forget the "10 dating tips" and "5 qualities a man must have" and all that, but remember that somewhere out there is a girl (or more!) that would love to be with you and vice versa. You just have to act the way you are, if everyone followed the "5 qualities a man must have" then those qualities wouldn't work anymore! So stop thinking about it and just follow your impulses. I.e., if you see a girl at work, and you get the feeling of talking to her, talk to her. If you are just walking down a street and see a girl drop something, and you have the urge to pick it up for her, then pick it up for her. If you are sitting in class and there is a girl next to you with cool shades (or whatever) and you get the urge to complement them, then complement the shades. Just "follow your heart" as the cliche goes, or equivalently, don't follow your rational thoughts!!! That is, in the above situation where a girl drops something on the street, and you get the urge, the feeling to pick it up for her, BUT you get a thought, "Ahhh but it will look embarassing, people will think I'm just trying to hit on her or that I'm an egotistical gentleman-wannabe", or even worse, "Why should I pick it up, she won't care", don't listen to that thought! If you do, you will regret it later on, thinking, "It would've been great if I picked it up for her." So just go with the feelings. They are always right. Your mind is wrong, or more accurately your dialectical, discursive mind (that just chitchats and doesn't commit, always being "Should I or shouldn't I?") is wrong. Life isn't for the people who sit on the fence, life rewards the people who dive into it. So dive into it! Good luck man, take confidence in yourself right now, you are perfect as you are, or perfectly imperfect as you are (which is the same thing), and remember that you are just one of thousands who are in the same boat, so there's nothing "wrong" with you.

that is right...look for chances and dont think of it as trying to pick up a girl when u take the chance just see it as being a nice person....if u hit it off great if u dont at least u met someone new and u looked like a good person...for example i go to nightschool at humber college i was walking to go outside for a smoke and this cute girl came up to me asking where The M part of the building was...i had no idea where it was but i helped her out anyways..i grabbed a janitor and asked him where it was and he told me so i turned around told her and kept talking to her...i didnt get her number i didnt bother asking for it and im not sure if she was intrested or not...didnt really matter..its just being social...im sure if it was the right girl something would have happened..i just see it as next time she sees me around im sure she'll remember me and think "hes a really cool guy"

I COULD WRITE A BOOK

quote:

Originally posted by dEsidEL soooooo .. bitter Aaron ..

How so? Didn't I say that it's the sleazebags in the clubs that ruin it for the rest of us?

I guess I am bitter against the sleazebags, yes. People who run around clubs trying to rape all the girls should be pistol-whipped.

Thanks for all the help everyone, some great advice
yah the picture was taken in Austria great place to visit awsome view everytime I woke up I saw mountains, trees, the sunrise. The air is clean hard to breath sorta cause you have to get ajusted to the air but was a great trip.

Thanks again all.

I just noticed you are Polish

hook up with Polish girls, say at Polish parties or whatever
you'll speak the same language, have similar mentalities/culture in general...
personaly I get along better with Eastern Euro girls, but I am kinda new...

yeah i am from Poland, how ever polish clubs and hangouts are either thugs waiting for a fight or sleezy underaged or overaged girls waiting to get you in trouble. I could be mistaken though I havent seen many polish clubs or bars other then frigata or what ever it was called.

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