Supposedly the Boy's rules; Now along with Women's rules.

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-- Supposedly the Boy's rules; Now along with Women's rules.
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Posted by igottaknow on Nov-16-2003 05:46:

quote:
Originally posted by anuneventrade
Rules for the Men

The male should never, ever, under any circumstance, lie to the female. The female always finds out. Always.

The correct answer to �Do I look fat?� Is never, ever, �Yes�.

These two rules are an example why men can never win. Women want their cake and eat it too. (literally) lol

Posted by placebo on Nov-16-2003 06:39:

50 things women wish men knew

1. Saying "I love you" immediately before, during, or following sex doesn't count.

2. Real men drive stick shift.

3. I will leave if you lie.

4. You are cute in raglan-sleeved T-shirts (two-toned baseball undershirts).

5. I'm convinced I'm pregnant and obsess about it for a minimum of 24 to 48 hours before my period, even when I have no rational reason to think so.

6. I love it when you hug me from behind and whisper in my ear.

7. "Fine" is never an appropriate response when I ask you how I look.

8. Most of the time when I fantasize, it's about you.

9. I'm terrified of becoming my mother, even though I admire her.

10. I get turned on simply seeing that I have an e-mail from you.

11. I expect you to call me.

12. Only rock stars are allowed to wear leather pants.

13. I'm scared of losing my independence.

14. I'm more forgiving of you than I really should be.

15. Oral sex is your get-out-of-the-doghouse-free card. Manolo Blahnik shoes also do the trick.

16. You did something bad. I seem cool with it. I'm not. (See directly above.)

17. If I'm not having sex with you, I'm... a. ...having a fat day. b. ...not feeling "connected" to you. c. ...blackmailing you to get something I want.

18. Shoes determine whether you're fashionable or not.

19. I own a Debbie Gibson CD, and I'm not afraid to use it.

20. When I compare my flabby tummy to a kangaroo pouch, say nothing.

21. A man I love plans the occasional fancy-schmancy dress-up date and impromptu weekend getaways, and he buys my favorite candy in advance when we're just going to the movies.

22. You look hot in hooded clothing items.

23. You should never tell me what to do.

24. If I slept over, you owe me breakfast.

25. My breasts love much licking and sucking.

26. If you ask me out directly, I will say yes.

27. I'm very impressed when you ask for my advice.

28. I'm unimpressed with a man who doesn't take the lead.

29. When in doubt, go with the shirt that matches your eye color.

30. I want to be Madonna.

31. Women get urinary-tract infections easily, so watch (and wash) your fingers.

32. I'm in heaven when you hold my hand.

33. You're sexy when you're shaving, fixing things, wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, driving, eating a peach, holding a baby.

34. I need to hear how you feel about me. Often. Tell me now.

35. Surprises, especially gifts for moi = more loving.

36. I want to be the best thing that ever happened to you--and for you to recognize this.

37. If I'm not feeling loved, I will start looking....

38. Discussion of ex-gf's and ex-bf's should be avoided at all times.

39. I like it when you tell me what you're thinking, even if you don't know yourself.

40. Celebrating our anniversary, even if it's only been a few months, earns major bonus points.

41. I love it when you're sweaty.

42. It's best to consult your gal pals for gift ideas.

43. A lady should always be greeted with kisses.

44. I like porn.

45. I love holding your bum in the palms of my hands.

46. Even nice girls like hushed dirty talk in public.

47. It's cheating as soon as you're doing something with her that you wouldn't want me to see, hear, read...

48. For the record: I'd rather you break up with me than cheat.

49. I remember everything about our relationship.

50. You should know all this and more with-out my telling you.

Posted by waxHead on Nov-16-2003 07:44:

quote:
Originally posted by placebo

50 things women wish men knew

44. I like porn.

if this were only true!

Posted by placebo on Nov-16-2003 08:05:

quote:
Originally posted by waxHead
if this were only true!

I concur

Posted by whiskers on Nov-16-2003 08:07:

stfu, n00bs!

Posted by waxHead on Nov-16-2003 08:12:

quote:
Originally posted by whiskers
stfu, n00bs!

hahaha, I neglected to include "for the greater percentage" in my post

there is nothing like watching porn w/ a gf!

Posted by whiskers on Nov-16-2003 08:14:

quote:
Originally posted by waxHead
there is nothing like watching porn w/ a gf!

there's nothing like MAKING porn w/ a gf!

Posted by squirrelly on Nov-16-2003 09:25:

How can someone enjoy watching something so fake as porn? To me, why watch porn when you can just have sex? Its more satisfying (IMHO).

Posted by Echo of Silence on Nov-16-2003 13:13:

quote:
Originally posted by anuneventrade
Rules for the Men

The Female always makes The Rules....etc

genius!

My roommates and I should print this and hang it on our door! "MEMORIZE BEFORE KNOCKING"

quote:
Originally posted by placebo
50 things women wish men knew...

Excellent!

Posted by waxHead on Nov-16-2003 16:38:

quote:
Originally posted by anuneventrade

How can someone enjoy watching something so fake as porn? To me, why watch porn when you can just have sex? Its more satisfying (IMHO).

that's how I'd always felt until a few months ago. I must admit that if you're both into it, it can be quite... stimulating

Posted by squirrelly on Nov-16-2003 17:34:

quote:
Originally posted by waxHead
that's how I'd always felt until a few months ago. I must admit that if you're both into it, it can be quite... stimulating

hahahhahaha, Me and my ex once tried to watch porn together, but he got so mad at me because I kept laughing at the porn that he just turned it off. I just think its halarious!

Posted by waxHead on Nov-16-2003 17:46:

quote:
Originally posted by anuneventrade

hahahhahaha, Me and my ex once tried to watch porn together, but he got so mad at me because I kept laughing at the porn that he just turned it off. I just think its halarious!

oh, it's definitely funny, but did it get you in the mood? I'm sure you didn't just shut it off and head right out for milk shakes

Posted by squirrelly on Nov-16-2003 18:02:

quote:
Originally posted by waxHead
oh, it's definitely funny, but did it get you in the mood? I'm sure you didn't just shut it off and head right out for milk shakes

I don't have to watch porn to get in the mood lol! Actually, the funny thing is, we did turn it off and go get ice cream!

Once we got back was when the fun began. But the porn had nothing to do with it.

Posted by waxHead on Nov-16-2003 18:30:

quote:
Originally posted by anuneventrade
I don't have to watch porn to get in the mood lol! Actually, the funny thing is, we did turn it off and go get ice cream!

don't get me wrong, porn is never needed to get in the mood

quote:

Once we got back was when the fun began. But the porn had nothing to do with it.

you're right, it was probably the ice cream, the incredibly erotic substance that it is

Posted by SuperFarStucker on Nov-17-2003 01:00:

Any self respecting individual follows only one rule.

1. Anything not written in revised state code or federal code is subject to disregard at any time without notice, based on circumstances extraneous or otherwise. It's generally safe to say, you respect my reasonable desires, and I will respect yours. Enough said.

Perhaps a bit wordy and filled with loopholes but I think it sends the message loud and clear.

I know, they were supposed to be funny.. Mines not =)

But at least it leaves the future open for possibilities eh?

Posted by Drifter on Nov-17-2003 04:31:

quote:
Originally posted by waxHead
you're right, it was probably the ice cream, the incredibly erotic substance that it is

most likely it would've been chocolate ice cream, very rich, very dark and extremely arousing

Posted by MERTON on Nov-17-2003 19:25:

goodvibes.com has all you'll ever need to be happy!! i don't need no stinkin' *#@$*#!!!

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