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-- Did I Fuck Up? [another girl advice thread]
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Originally posted by whiskers ...i'd stay away from those girls who think that all guys want is sex. they still have quite a lot to learn in life. relationships are all good unless they're totally based on making out and sex, then they kinda tend to fall apart, you know.

I wonder why anyone would ever get a crazy idea that all men think about is sex *looks at all the 'pics or stfu' posts*

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Originally posted by igottaknow I wonder why anyone would ever get a crazy idea that all men think about is sex *looks at all the 'pics or stfu' posts*

well... if someone builds their life beliefs based on forum replies rather than real life experience... heh... i pity them

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Originally posted by butterfly omg you are a girl?!

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Originally posted by butterfly and i agree with you, just maybe not with as much passion.

I think it's just my writing style. You can't "read" my little smiles, hear my chuckles, or see the twinkle in my eyes.

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Originally posted by nic01445 no, it is not inconsiderate. why didnt she call? how inconsiderate of her. idiot.

oops! sorry! I thought she did call!

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Originally posted by whiskers who are you calling an idiot?

<--me

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Originally posted by Echo of Silence <--me

he's such a judge jules.

This may sound really stupid, but did you ever think of *gasp* trying to work things out rather than running away as soon as the slightest thing went wrong?

I mean, as off-the-wall as this may sound, did you maybe think of saying to her: hey babe, I'm sorry, I should have called, but I hope you know I care about you more than that... let's go out tonight to ?

You could even call her now, and say, hey, I'm sorry about what happened before, if you're not still mad at me then maybe we could get together sometime soon.

Let's try to be a little less childish here...

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Originally posted by DJMikeyP At best I considered it fun with someone I liked... So besides the fact that I wasn't using her for sex and I actually enjoyed her company, its like why do you need a serious relationship so bad when you don't even live here.

Well, it seems like she saw through you. Oh, right, you didn't want just sex, you also wanted the making out, petting and cuddling.

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Originally posted by nic01445 no, it is not inconsiderate. why didnt she call? how inconsiderate of her. idiot.

Read the first post. She called later the same day.

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Originally posted by DigiNut This may sound really stupid, but did you ever think of *gasp* trying to work things out rather than running away as soon as the slightest thing went wrong? I mean, as off-the-wall as this may sound, did you maybe think of saying to her: hey babe, I'm sorry, I should have called, but I hope you know I care about you more than that... let's go out tonight to ? You could even call her now, and say, hey, I'm sorry about what happened before, if you're not still mad at me then maybe we could get together sometime soon. Let's try to be a little less childish here...

or buy her flowers. girls like flowers. nothing says "i know i fucked up but i wanna fix it" like flowers.

you obviously slept through Women 101

you oughta at least apologise and see if you can set things straight.. it may just be down to a few crossed wires...

you must have given her the impession that you were really into her or she wouldnt have got so upset when you didnt call.

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Originally posted by Slylee you obviously slept through Women 101

they have that? we all need to sign up, including women themselves

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Originally posted by butterfly or buy her flowers. girls like flowers. nothing says "i know i fucked up but i wanna fix it" like flowers.

It sounds like you're serious but I can't help wondering if there's a note of sarcasm in there?

Some good advice here... When she told me she was breaking it off, I DID fight her on that a little bit.. I told her she was wrong, and that I honestly did care about her. She just ignored me basically with the reallll cold shoulder. I said a few more things like that, trying to change her mind, and she didn't respond at all... Just real cold.

I guess I could have begged or sent her flowers or whatever, but I just got out of a reallyyyy controlling relationship, where I had to watch and worry over every single thing I did so my ex wouldn't get all pissed off at me. For example (we lived together), every day when I would come home I would find her and kiss her whereever she was, but then when SHE came home from work there was a huge argument if I didn't get UP from where I was and kiss her when she came through the door (utter double standard BS). My life was 100% worry and guilt because of that kind of BS, so maybe right now I'm a little burnt out on adjusting the way I am in order to fit what I 'should' be like according to another person's standards. I mean honestly is it fair that I have to follow a girl's rulebook just to be in a relationship, when I would never expect her to do the same for me? Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I fuck up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno.

And just to clarify, she called me the same 'morning after' and we talked a little, had a couple laughs, then the 2 days later is when I called her. She could have called me during those 2 days. Oh well.

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Originally posted by DigiNut It sounds like you're serious but I can't help wondering if there's a note of sarcasm in there?

no i am serious. men dont buy women flowers often enough. it really works, trust me i know.

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Originally posted by DJMikeyP Some good advice here... When she told me she was breaking it off, I DID fight her on that a little bit.. I told her she was wrong, and that I honestly did care about her. She just ignored me basically with the reallll cold shoulder. I said a few more things like that, trying to change her mind, and she didn't respond at all... Just real cold. I guess I could have begged or sent her flowers or whatever, but I just got out of a reallyyyy controlling relationship, where I had to watch and worry over every single thing I did so my ex wouldn't get all pissed off at me. For example (we lived together), every day when I would come home I would find her and kiss her whereever she was, but then when SHE came home from work there was a huge argument if I didn't get UP from where I was and kiss her when she came through the door (utter double standard BS). My life was 100% worry and guilt because of that kind of BS, so maybe right now I'm a little burnt out on adjusting the way I am in order to fit what I 'should' be like according to another person's standards. I mean honestly is it fair that I have to follow a girl's rulebook just to be in a relationship, when I would never expect her to do the same for me? Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I fuck up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno. And just to clarify, she called me the same 'morning after' and we talked a little, had a couple laughs, then the 2 days later is when I called her. She could have called me during those 2 days. Oh well.

since she called you the two hours later, it was your responsibility to make the next call. but even still, two days isnt as big a deal when it wasnt the first time you had talked since.

it sounds like she is using the sex thing as an excuse, for whatever reason. maybe she isnt as interested anymore. i dunno.

it does sound like she could be a potentially whiny girlfriend but we dont know enough here to be able to say what the real issue is here.

as for your other issues, it sounds like you are not ready for a relationship yet which is perfectly fine. (of course in this case, you should have made it clear to her before sleeping with her) also, what you said about having to try to please the girl and not being able to be yourself isnt cool. if you are in a relationship that you have to force things like that then it isnt meant to be. based on what you have told us, this girl isnt right for you. so just take it easy and meet more girls and hopefully you will find one that is right for you sooner than later.

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Originally posted by DJMikeyP Aren't there any girls out there who will actually talk and communicate to me when I fuck up, and try to work out a compromise? I'm just tired of not being able to be myself. I dunno.

Less than you'd expect... although it does depend how you approach it, getting defensive/offensive in an argument is bound to just cause more tension, not sure if you do that or not. It's a sign of the times, man... men lose their rights but are supposed to keep their responsibilities.

Butterfly, I'll send you some flowers, give me your address.

She broke up with you after sex eh.... Maybe you have a small penis.

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Originally posted by smallSHEEP She broke up with you after sex eh.... Maybe you have a small penis.

Even for Japanese standards?

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Originally posted by Delay Llama Even for Japanese standards?

sooo tiny

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Originally posted by smallSHEEP She broke up with you after sex eh

anything else is irrelevant hehe technically thats his win regardless of the reason.

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Originally posted by smallSHEEP sooo tiny

"So that's why we couldn't see the problem, Mike"

this is a classic

DJMikeyP, sorry mate but i'm gonna have to bust your chaps, the way you described your approach makes it sound like you where on it too soon. one thing that i have learned about girls is that you can't be aggressive too soon. you have to pace your self, don't just scratch the surface and jump into bed. most girls are very emotional about sex and if the girl thinks for whatever reason that you are not as emotionally involved then you'll like be in trouble early into the relationship.

Girls shouldnt put out that easy. I always stop seeing them when they finally do. and Im still a virgin. Thats how unattractive it is.


or im a loser.


I havent figured out which yet :P

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Originally posted by Orbax Girls shouldnt put out that easy. I always stop seeing them when they finally do. and Im still a virgin. Thats how unattractive it is. or im a loser. I havent figured out which yet :P

probably both

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Originally posted by ralf_c one thing that i have learned about girls is that you can't be aggressive too soon. you have to pace your self, don't just scratch the surface and jump into bed. most girls are very emotional about sex and if the girl thinks for whatever reason that you are not as emotionally involved then you'll like be in trouble early into the relationship.

hit the nail on the head, especially if it's the girls 1st time.

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Originally posted by smallSHEEP She broke up with you after sex eh.... Maybe you have a small penis.

lol...no she didn't break up with him after sex, SMALLsheep! She CALLED him after sex; that means she liked it, liked him, wants more! she broke up with him when he waited "bout 2 days" before calling her (she didn't answer), he didn't try again (apparently), and then didn't see her for another 3 days. And this is AFTER they had sex for the first time AFTER they've gone out and all that stuff...in other words, this was not a one night stand...they had become involved...but after they "did it"...nothing. Not the way to go guys. It doesn't work like this irl.

And yeah, I'm not like an expert at this stuff Just throwing out my opinions.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut This may sound really stupid, but did you ever think of *gasp* trying to work things out rather than running away as soon as the slightest thing went wrong? I mean, as off-the-wall as this may sound, did you maybe think of saying to her: hey babe, I'm sorry, I should have called, but I hope you know I care about you more than that... let's go out tonight to ? You could even call her now, and say, hey, I'm sorry about what happened before, if you're not still mad at me then maybe we could get together sometime soon. Let's try to be a little less childish here...

Actually, it doesn't sound that stupid at all, Aaron, but most people are too selfish to think the way you're thinking.

quote:

Originally posted by DigiNut ...although it does depend how you approach it, getting defensive/offensive in an argument is bound to just cause more tension, not sure if you do that or not. It's a sign of the times, man... men lose their rights but are supposed to keep their responsibilities.

Have you noticed that most people don't listen in an argument? That's why most arguments turn into a major waste of time. Think about it. Most people jump to the defense and throw out a lot of meaningless excuses for their own flaws or weaknesses instead of trying to solve the problem and move forward. I don't think it's necessarily a sign of the times...I just think some people are too selfish or too self-absorbed to get past themselves.

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hit the nail on the head, especially if it's the girls 1st time.

unfortunately i learned that the hard way. got concrete slammed a couple of time to learn that, and it wasn't pretty for both me and the girl. nowadays i take it easy with girls and let thing come as they come. its better to let a relationship develop naturally rather then to force mold it the way you want it.

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