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-- Social Phobia
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quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Ill try to keep my charm to a minimum, Babe. Sorry.

It hasn't been an issue so far.

quote:

Originally posted by trancebrat It hasn't been an issue so far.

75% of people are extroverts. In a society that loves extroverts and looks down upon introverts, it's easy to see why depression can affect introverted people more easily. Social phobia is a common side-effect of this combination.

When people say you should just put yourself out there and pretend to be the most social person in the world, that's not going to work. Most of the time anyways. If you're a natural introvert, you're going to be pretending to be somebody you're not. You might be able to do it a few times, but it starts to wear on you. Besides which, gradual acclimation to problems tend to suit people better than a sudden immersal.

If you want to overcome it, start off slowly and then work your way up.

quote:

Originally posted by Tranc3 75% of people are extroverts. In a society that loves extroverts and looks down upon introverts, it's easy to see why depression can affect introverted people more easily. Social phobia is a common side-effect of this combination. When people say you should just put yourself out there and pretend to be the most social person in the world, that's not going to work. Most of the time anyways. If you're a natural introvert, you're going to be pretending to be somebody you're not. You might be able to do it a few times, but it starts to wear on you. Besides which, gradual acclimation to problems tend to suit people better than a sudden immersal. If you want to overcome it, start off slowly and then work your way up.

I agree...I see your point.

Also, boring people tend to be introverts. Try doing something interesting enough to talk about, and CounterStrike doenst count, no matter how good you are.

quote:

Originally posted by Tranc3 75% of people are extroverts. In a society that loves extroverts and looks down upon introverts, it's easy to see why depression can affect introverted people more easily. Social phobia is a common side-effect of this combination. When people say you should just put yourself out there and pretend to be the most social person in the world, that's not going to work. Most of the time anyways. If you're a natural introvert, you're going to be pretending to be somebody you're not. You might be able to do it a few times, but it starts to wear on you. Besides which, gradual acclimation to problems tend to suit people better than a sudden immersal. If you want to overcome it, start off slowly and then work your way up.

that's great advice. i should follow some of that. i think having social anxiety comes down to confidence. i have a lot of image issues and that directly affects my interaction with other people. i feel perfectly comfortable around people that know me well, but i suck at one on one. i'm working on it though....someday i'll be a social butterfly hehehe...

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Also, boring people tend to be introverts. Try doing something interesting enough to talk about, and CounterStrike doenst count, no matter how good you are.

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that is true too...if you are a busy person...you are interesting and always have stuff to talk about with people...its a lot easier than say...i did nothing today

yep...eventually people stop talking to you if its "oh same old shit yah know"

thats depressing! it should be depressing for you too! go learn to walk on your hands or SOMETHING in your spare time. People want progress, not stagnation!

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Originally posted by Prodigy Child WOW what makes it interesting is when people know they have this problem, and don't know why or how to get around it, very strange, but hope people with this can overcome it.

You always know when you have this problem. You may not know what the condition is technically called, but you know you have a problem.

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Originally posted by whiskers sometimes when people are assholes you exaggerate those moments and keep being depressed, but when people are being nice to you you're like "no, that can't be, they must be trying to trick me, i must be paranoid" and you perpetuate it...

true true about the distortions
I Chemistry i love, i love science a lot. However, group projects. Everyone had their "click" (am i cool yet?) and parterned up. Of course, week after week, i was always the one to raise my hand when the teacher said "anyone not have a partner?" I'd walk up to the front of the class and he would say "ok, who wants erick in their group?" No one raised their hand and that was about the turning point when my socialphobia led to physical pain and uneasyness. I would have to go to the bathroom about once or twice a day to vomit. During one of the more severe incidents, i went to the nurse and confessed to her about the fact that i needed help for my socialphobia. she wrote a note and i never gave it to my parents. fear. meds. i would constanly tell myself that "erick, you are not normal"
II As time progressed, i lost my friends one by one as i wasn't the "normal" person i was back in 7th grade, smiles and jokes all day. Whenever i was with them, i was quiet and looking at the floor. So they all get with other groups and that led to the last 3 years of my high school being alone. Once again, Erick, You are not normal.
III Of course, when someone has a lot of time in their hands, no friends, no phone and all the sort, that's when the toughts come. Erick, you have no friend. Erick, you will never have a girlfriend. Erick, you are a defect.
I'd gone to see pyschiartists finally after 4 years. I gave them my story, of course, having to excuse myself several times to go to the bathroom. They put me on Prozac. I felt OK. Suicide Attempt #1 a week after.
Sent me to a treatment center. Suicide Attempt #2 after 3 months in the center. I'd gotten the hint that i was not very good at suicide, so i just kept letting the counselors and psychs do tests and i'd have to do tasks to earn "points". Changed to Paxil.
It may have been the paxil that changed me. But i knew that pills wouldn't open my mouth, so i did. I said hello every morning to the people at my table. However, after "hi", i blanked out and that was it. few weeks later "hi, how are u" and they would tell me about their weekend or stuff like that. Of course, i had a short answer in response as "i did nothing."
Every week i aimed to do better. The paxil was taking care of my anxiety and I started taking care of my socialphobia. I was in the treatment center for 9 months, off to college, 4.0 gpa, associates degree in computer science and boy, i have too many friends to count with a calculator.
YES, it is unimaginable the pain i had to go through. As i said, it may have been the paxil, but i realized that the only way i could communicate with people was, well, to communicate with people.

Paxil is the most fucked up drug ever. I lost three friends to it.

i was/am a total loser so I went on a self improvement bingw junior year in highschool. I dont have any friends, still a loser, but i feel better about myself hehe. I had my fun times with Celexa and anti depressants, but didnt think that fucking my brain with drugs would bring out the "real me". Needless to say years of introspection and many odd things happening have led to an uneasy sort of acceptance of myself.

I know many people on it without problems. But all of that class of drug has the side effects and serious ones. I've suffered depression for yrs but with medication I don't have an issue and you can't tell.

Wow...tonight on TA has been a bit intense...for lack of a better word. I've learned some things about some of you. PM's have been interesting...to say the least. I feel enlightened for some reason.

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller that's great advice. i should follow some of that. i think having social anxiety comes down to confidence. i have a lot of image issues and that directly affects my interaction with other people. i feel perfectly comfortable around people that know me well, but i suck at one on one. i'm working on it though....someday i'll be a social butterfly hehehe...

Social anxiety, while it can be tied to confidence (or a lack thereof), can also be tied to how you see yourself in relation to the rest of the world. If you think that you're "supposed" to fit a certain type of image that you aren't, then you're going to be pretty hard on yourself. At the risk of using a tired phrase, you literally become your own worst enemy.

As you can imagine, I myself am introverted, and I used to think there was something wrong with me. Once I accepted it as a part of myself, it became a lot easier. I never feel like I should have done something differently, or I'm screwing something up, or I'm not being as active as I should be. It's who I am, and I'm probably not going to be able to change it. I'm confident in myself, in relation to myself, not in relation to anyone else.

Being introverted usually means you're going to have an easier time getting single tasks done, you'll take to certain things more quickly than others, things of that nature. It's mostly due to the fact that you're truly able to concentrate on a single thing and really work at it, without getting too bored (as an extrovert might get). Unfortunately, most intarnet introverts choose counterstrike as their strong point. While it does have its' benefits, it's certainly not something a majority of people know about, or can relate to. If you're an introvert, my advice to you is to find something you've always been interested in and pursue it. If you're the CS player, then maybe instead of pursuing a life of playing video games, maybe a life of creating them. You end up getting a job you'll love, plus people will understand what you do for a living.

But that's not to say that introverts have to choose a jon that's typically reserved for introverts, or has that kind of association with it. From what I've heard about PvD, he seems to be an introvert. I've heard that he doesn't always like to stick around afterwards to talk with a bunch of random fans, things of that nature.

If you choose something that's more universal than, say, creating video games, even better. Let's say you go into music - it's a universal thing. Everybody loves it, most people want to create it in one way or another, and nearly everyone wants to know more about it.

Wow that's a lot longer than I was thinking it would be. So ah, to summarize, if you're introverted, find something you like that has universal appeal so you won't be boring.

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Paxil is the most fucked up drug ever. I lost three friends to it.

I was on it for 3 years, coming off it once but being put back on it after

It's weird, on it, it did more for me than anything before, but comign of it was hell, and i finally came off it for good in january, it took about 4 weeks to totally get out of my system, there was tons of dizziness, i fell over repeatedly, down stairs & shit, sickness, fucked up sleeping patterns, and a general lack of cohesion in anything I did, it was hell, but a lot of people just go back on the pill once they get the side effects, that's the worst thing you can do, it won't get you off it and onto something better, all i know is now they're trying not to prescribe it first time round cos of how messy it can be, I'm now on citalopram and I've not been on it for that long, but it's probably doing as much for me as anything in the past has

As many users have already pointed out, the best solution to the problem is to change yourself by the true Sartrean method: namely, to make conscious decisions to alter your behavior incrementally. Remember that what you do, and even what you feel, is largely the product of your choices. Change your choices, and you'll change who you are.

A word on drugs: stay away if possible. Drugs in general are bad, especially ones that fuck with your mind. It may seem like an easier solution, but it's no substitute for genuine progress and may have profound side effects on you - even if you don't notice anything. I know it's tempting to think that just because a professional prescribed the drug that it's safe, but don't. Larium can be prescribed to anyone going to a malaria risk zone, but it's a horrible drug which can fuck you up much worse than heroin. Remember that the medical industry exists to make money, not to help you. If you really feel that you need a drug to help you, I suggest you research it thoroughly on the internet. You may discover there are a lot of people out there who've tried it as well and deeply regretted it.

I have it, I avoid certain people and crowds.. I'm seeing a therapist right now and I'm getting better.

quote:

Originally posted by Orbax Paxil is the most fucked up drug ever. I lost three friends to it.

Word.

That's why I was outraged when I read the FDA was suppressing a study correlating drugs like Paxil with suicide in young people (presumably to protect the drug companies).


I also took Paxil some years ago for like a week, and it was the worst experience ever. I personally think they should take it off the market.

My experiences with certain women (rejections, etc.) just make my social phobia worse.

I also have SA, and I'm working on it by my self without SSRIs and CBT. Although I�m on a waiting list to see a therapist (take up to a year to see one on NHS) but might not need it if I get better within the next year by myself, me hopes . I never new SA existed until I did research to see why I was going all wired (Anxiety/Panic Attacks) when in certain social situations.

yup, i have SA...

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