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Ok, if you like poo THAT much: www.*******.com

quote:

Originally posted by NinetyNinety Ok, if you like poo THAT much: www.*******.com

ehhh, I think you have deep seeded psychological issues with poop.



"Now show me on this doll where the poop touched you"


come on...poop is fun.

quote:

Originally posted by UWM Especially if it hit somebody.

Or the wind blew it back on you and splatted ya

quote:

Originally posted by Boomer187 Are you gettign soft on us...? if you are I am gonna throw some poo at you.

I didn't want to come off as "The heavy handed mod".


But that was pretty wrong.

I've learned my lesson, tnx boomer.

quote:

Originally posted by Jiffy Or the wind blew it back on you and splatted ya

This wind is known as hurricane, I believe.

stole this from everyone favorite funny quote site.

Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story?
Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night.
Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed.
Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life.
Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers.
Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world.
Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies.
Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

quote:

Originally posted by tribu stole this from everyone favorite funny quote site. Phoenix> Dude, wanna hear a fucked up story? Phoenix> So, Im at the usual weekend frat parties and i've been talking to this girl for the majority of the night. Phoenix> Anyway I ended up going back with her to her dorm. About another 8shots later, we end up fooling around on her bed. Phoenix> So about 10min's into her giving me head, I had to drop the fattest shit in my life. Phoenix> All my meals were followed by 3tsp of metamucil so I could get lots of fiber in me to combat the carbs a litte. Anyway im holdin my #2 in and finally it goes away. We both end up passing out on her bed, she's butt naked and im in my boxers. Phoenix> I wake up to piss and I find myself covered in shit. It was all over the bed,sheets,etc.... Im freakin out so I did the most horrible thing in the world. Phoenix> She's sleeping with her back towards me, so I take my boxers off, scoop up some shit and gently smear it on the inside of her butt, her lower back, and a little on the back of her hammies. Phoenix> I get dressed and leave... This poor girl is gonna think she did it. I didnt know what else to do though. I have no clue what im gonna do when I end up running into her.

........THATS FOOKIN CLASSIC.

^^^Best story eva!!!

OK, this is about a friend.. not me.. really

Anyway, this friend of mine is at a party and she has had wayyy to much to drink, and some other chemicals too. Well, all of a sudden, she gets this damn urge to fart, and figures, "it'll be silent, and no one will know it was me." So she lets it fly. But, instead of a poofy fart, she gets slimy shit... all down her leg.

She sits there for about 5 minutes, wondering what the hell does she do? Get up and announce to everyone around that she just shit herself? Or sit there in her own shit until everyone leaves.

Well, she stands up, and whispers to her friend "can you get me some pants," and her friend is like "why do you need pants?" "Because, I am uncomfortable in these ones, and it's making me have a bad trip."

Being sufficient reason, the friend fetches pants, and brings them to the girl, who is now in the bathroom washing her legs, ass, pants, and underware. She changes into the pants, and comes out with the dirty ones, to tell the story to the pants fetcher. They laugh for about 15 minutes, and then swear to secrecy, hide the shitty pants, and then return to the party.

Ahhh good times.

There are several more where that came from. But too much typing. Will update later.

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/shitstories

enjoy

my little brother had a "shit stick" under the sink, for breaking up large turds....like the butterknife thing!



ugghh..my brothers chubby ass little friend came to my house, that i used to live in, and him and my brother went of to ride bikes around the neighborhood, after they left, about five minutes later, the fat friend ran inside and sat on the shitter for about 20 min. he opens the door and books it back on his bike. it smells absolutly *sarcasticly* terrific! but to mention one minor detail, there was green, yes green, shit splattered in the tub, toilet seat, and the fucking sink. i mean this kid had to have saved up food and shit in his gut for at least a fucking month. but even so it was splattered all over the fucking place. i imediatly threw up my breakfast all over the fucking place. i ran downstairs almost in tears and told my mom "that fat bitch shit all over the fucking bathroom", she first gave me shit for swearing, then went to check. she told me not to tell the kid or complain to him, and that she would clean up my puke and his shit. of course when he got back, i teased his fat, nasty ass.
you wanted poo stories, heres the prize winner for most rancid.


memories..oh memories!

oh i have many-a tales of that poor bastard..but that fits in another thread somewere..else. its 5:25 am and i dont know how the fuck am i supposed to sleep now. thank you and goodnight

When I was in middle school, my best friend and I were babysitting her sister�s kid (she was like 3). So we�re in her room listening to music and goofing around when we realized, "Where�s Crystal"? So we go out and find her in the bathroom fingerpainting with her own shit on the toilet!!! We were like, "WHAT THE FUCK ARE U DOING"!! My friend sort of lost it and was screaming at her and threw her in the shower and we hosed her down. She was crying so hard, I felt bad. She didn't realize what she was doing.

We were kinda laughing too, it was horrible. We were like, "Man we are going to tell ALL her boyfriends this story when she�s older".

Cant say i got any funny stories involving poop. I woke up with the squirts once thats about it.

quote:

Originally posted by Marcy Cant say i got any funny stories involving poop. I woke up with the squirts once thats about it.

See, if you would have sneezed and squirted all over yourself or better yet... a naked bed partner... THAT would be funny.

Gross... but funny.

So i'm 6yrs old and living in a 3rd world country.

I had body guards dressed in military clothing carrying m-16 machine guns...


Alright- So im playing with my next door neighbors and I felt the urge to shit...and when you're 6yrs old you do the obvious...you put your hand on your asshole and run like mad!

So I run out of my neighbors house- hands on asshole

passed my body guard- with hands on asshole

Run up the drive way- yep- with hands on asshole.

and i felt it coming out...i was dying there...but lo, twas alright! I had my hand on my asshole.

So i get to the front door....try to open it...and....IT'S LOCKED!

At that moment I could only do what any frantic 6yr old in need of taking a shit while his hand is on his asshole would do...

I crapped in my shorts....and back then I didnt wear underwear, so it slides down my leg...

I kinda slink it off....meanwhile I hear some noise, like walking coming near.

I HIDE behind a tree

my body guard walks up to the front door...looks around.... then looks down to see a nice pile of shit waiting for him.

then he walked away.


I can only imagine his thoughts of what he saw 1. kid running with hand on his asshole. 2. pile of shit in front of door.

LMAO

Re: Funniest story involving...

quote:

Funniest story involving... POOP.

Really dragging the bottom of the barrel for that topic.....

Re: Re: Funniest story involving...

quote:

Originally posted by smallSHEEP Really dragging the bottom of the barrel for that topic.....

Eh. It's not THAT bad of a topic. True, it was late and I was multi-tasking... but still. You gotta admit. Shit mishaps can be very entertaining stories.

I remember in grade 1 one of my classmates was stuck in the toilet trying to shit...he actually started screaming until the school's doctor and some nurses arrived to help the guy...it turned out that the guy was trying so hard to shit but couldnt...and appartently the poo was stuck in his arsehole...half of it inside and half outside!

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