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- Canada - Toronto & Southern Ont.
-- Being nice
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^^^^^

Hey you're right...we here at TA think you're a total dick!

quote:

Originally posted by Fir3start3r Are you being sarcastic? Are certainly hope not because we need more people in the world like that 14 year old. It's not about the reward, it's about the principle of the thing.

Yeah that's the obvious part;
but how would other people react when they hear such news?
Other teenagers perhaps?

I think the store owner should have took the money and left it at that. And although he tried doing something nice by treating the boy, I bet the kid is probably regreting he had ever returned the money.
Honestly though 'firestarter', if people are willing to do good deeds from their heart, they would (for no reward at stake).

if i was paul martin, i would ban hip hop on television and radio!

quote:

Originally posted by ++ EGO ++ Yeah that's the obvious part; but how would other people react when they hear such news? Other teenagers perhaps?

It's a feel good story; I think it's awesome.
If others think they need a reward to do good then they've obviously got a problem.
Life isn't about selfishness, it's about serving. <-- Learn it grasshoppa...

quote:

I think the store owner should have took the money and left it at that. And although he tried doing something nice by treating the boy, I bet the kid is probably regreting he had ever returned the money. Honestly though 'firestarter', if people are willing to do good deeds from their heart, they would (for no reward at stake).

I don't think the kid actually asked for anything by the sounds of it.
The kid also had the right to refuse since you're right; the store owner was not under any obligation to reward him.
It's a kind gesture and a correct one at that, regardless of if it was 1/2 the money or reeses pieces and a squirt gun...

Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. The reason? well it seems that when you are nice people take advantage of you like crazy. This is absolutely true. It was a wierd change living overseas where EVERYONE seemed to be overwhelmingly nice and didnt expect anything in return. The hardest part was trying to keep up with the niceness since growing up in Canada numbs you to it. I compare my old apartment in Argentina that had 5 other apartments in the building. When i moved in the neighbours knocked on the door to welcome me. One neighbour who was very poor baked me a cake before she even knew who i was. The neighbours kids came over all the time for peanut butter sandwiches and kool ade (2 things i brought with me that dont exist in argentina). Ive lived in my new place for 3 weeks now and there are 25 apartments in this building. The one neighbour i did run into practically ran away when i said hello to them. The only person who knocked on my door was trying to sell me gas (i have electric and no gas LOL). Im still waiting for my cake too. The only kids ive seen are 10 year olds smoking up under the stairs in the lobby. Its sad

I tend to think of this as a Canadian/USA mindset, more than anything else, in comparison to a country like Chile (where I used to live for some time), you see the difference in the way people are to each other, especially within one's own community. One thing I notice is that in countries like Chile, there's not a large diversity in multi-culturalism. When you look at it this way, you tend to see that this country (Chile) is bound by one culture, one religion, one's own people. The very fact I wasn't born there, but still was born of two chilean parents, was more than enough for me to be accepted within the community as one of them. In countries like Canada and USA, you notice that there is no one people, or one culture, its many cultures and many people's race.

Even in a modern day society (North America), with internet and high tech-communications devices that supposedly bring everyone together, we still alienate ourselves by the color of our skin and the country on our passport. Its not to say all of Canada is like this (I've never visited every part of Canada or USA, so I dont know how small towns are), I just tend to think its not as easy to cope with the multi-culturalism that comes with living in metropolitans like Toronto, or New York (example of a USA city with huge multi-culturalism).

Sometimes, we tend to forget that we are all living under the roof of a single, multi-cultural community, that also has to develop its roots and culture. It's probably never going to happen, atleast not anytime soon (I think). But we need to change our minds in how we are going to treat North Americans as one people. We still fear our neighbours cause we dont know what to think of their families, traditions, rituals and superstitions (the age old "what you dont know, you fear" ideology). In the end, I just think that we are not where are ancestors are from, or what flag we decide to put on our car when World Cup is going on, we are where we live and where we want to stay. We are North Americans, and when we decide to erase the invisible lines that divides our roots, maybe one day we can see we are all just one race, the human race.

Anyhow, enough of my stupid rambling...take it how you want, this is just my take of the whole "coldness of canada debate".

quote:

Originally posted by djshan if i was paul martin, i would ban hip hop on television and radio!

I'm not sure if you were being sarcastic or not so ignore this if you were...

but I really don't think rap or hip hop really has anything to do with 'corrupting' it's listeners. Just like any form of music it can be seen as something it's listeners can relate to or something that makes them happy. It's when you try and tell them that their music is evil and try and take it away from them, that's when they get bitter about it.

I haven't read the whole thread yet but..


I think it's not a reflection of Canada as a whole at ALL! It's a matter of WHERE in the country you live I think.

I live in Burlington and when I moved into my place about 3 years ago, the FIRST thing that happened was that my next door neighbour popped his head over our fence and asked us if we needed any tools to put up our Starchoice satellite dish at the time. And we started shooting the shit. Later on, we made friends with our neighbours across the hallway, and the next couple down.

Now, all of Burlington is probably not like this -- you'll have your 'ghetto'-style community, your mid-income communities, etc.

I live in Bronte Oakville which is probably way friendlier than most of the GTA and i still dont see anywhere close to what ive seen in other societies.

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 I live in Bronte Oakville which is probably way friendlier than most of the GTA and i still dont see anywhere close to what ive seen in other societies.

For someone who lives in Canada, you don't seem to like it very much. Why do you still live here if it's so bad?

quote:

Originally posted by The Highroller For someone who lives in Canada, you don't seem to like it very much. Why do you still live here if it's so bad?

I was going to post the same thing a while ago. hahaha

I love canada and im old enough to remember how it used to be. I just dont like where its headed

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 I love canada and im old enough to remember how it used to be. I just dont like where its headed

Dude, you sound like my fucking grandpa. lol...

Well sadly my eyes are a bit wider open than most i guess.

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 Well sadly my eyes are a bit wider open than most i guess.

Maybe a bit more senile there too, gramps...

Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. The reason? well it seems that when you are nice people take advantage of you like crazy. This is absolutely true. It was a wierd change living overseas where EVERYONE seemed to be overwhelmingly nice and didnt expect anything in return. The hardest part was trying to keep up with the niceness since growing up in Canada numbs you to it. I compare my old apartment in Argentina that had 5 other apartments in the building. When i moved in the neighbours knocked on the door to welcome me. One neighbour who was very poor baked me a cake before she even knew who i was. The neighbours kids came over all the time for peanut butter sandwiches and kool ade (2 things i brought with me that dont exist in argentina). Ive lived in my new place for 3 weeks now and there are 25 apartments in this building. The one neighbour i did run into practically ran away when i said hello to them. The only person who knocked on my door was trying to sell me gas (i have electric and no gas LOL). Im still waiting for my cake too. The only kids ive seen are 10 year olds smoking up under the stairs in the lobby. Its sad

So true, but not just Canada, but U.S as well (but Toronto is extremely cold in that sense)...i guess its the thug wannabe, urban immature attitude, i dont know. But almost n e where else you go to (Europe, S.A, East Asia, South Asia, Middle East) the people are generally more nice, warm and easy to talk to, especially the youth.

Re: Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by sufee_b So true, but not just Canada, but U.S as well (but Toronto is extremely cold in that sense)...i guess its the thug wannabe, urban immature attitude, i dont know. But almost n e where else you go to (Europe, S.A, East Asia, South Asia, Middle East) the people are generally more nice, warm and easy to talk to, especially the youth.

Talk about your all time, right outta your ass reasonings...you said it best at, "i dont know."

You cannot blame wanna-be thugs for all of Toronto's rude behavior.

Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Jayx1 A few recent immigrants have recently told me their thoughts on niceness in Canada. Their conclusion? That people are nt very nice and in fact are down right cold. The reason? well it seems that when you are nice people take advantage of you like crazy. This is absolutely true. It was a wierd change living overseas where EVERYONE seemed to be overwhelmingly nice and didnt expect anything in return. The hardest part was trying to keep up with the niceness since growing up in Canada numbs you to it. I compare my old apartment in Argentina that had 5 other apartments in the building. When i moved in the neighbours knocked on the door to welcome me. One neighbour who was very poor baked me a cake before she even knew who i was. The neighbours kids came over all the time for peanut butter sandwiches and kool ade (2 things i brought with me that dont exist in argentina). Ive lived in my new place for 3 weeks now and there are 25 apartments in this building. The one neighbour i did run into practically ran away when i said hello to them. The only person who knocked on my door was trying to sell me gas (i have electric and no gas LOL). Im still waiting for my cake too. The only kids ive seen are 10 year olds smoking up under the stairs in the lobby. Its sad

i will comment on this one again after living in canada for some time, but i still guess you are far more nicer than the swedes...

Damn the swedish!

Re: Re: Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Rodrico You cannot blame wanna-be thugs for all of Toronto's rude behavior.

yes you can

Re: Re: Re: Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Max Q yes you can

Ill will rephrase that then...you cannot blame them all and be right.

Re: Re: Re: Being nice

quote:

Originally posted by Rodrico Talk about your all time, right outta your ass reasonings...you said it best at, "i dont know." You cannot blame wanna-be thugs for all of Toronto's rude behavior.

I dont blame em for all, i never said that, only most. Bottom line...Toronto is a shit hole compared to most places in this regard

I think as Graham stated, the term "nice" is really the wrong word for what Jay is trying to say. Nevertheless I do see his point.

People in Toronto have their guards up at all times. I do too. It's like this in many places all over Ontario, Kingston and Ottawa too. I haven't really been overseas, except for Israel which would be like comparing apples and oranges here, but I have been to a few small towns and noticed the difference even there. I spent a large part of one summer in Wolfville, Nova Scotia and it was almost like a different world.

Nobody was ever in much of a hurry. You always saw people chatting outside, on the street. Strangers always said hello to me and to each other. I saw drivers stopping for pedestrians who were clearly jaywalking, without any honking or indication of road rage. I remember going out with two friends I made that summer and getting two police officers to take a picture of me getting "arrested" (you try doing that with the Toronto police). All in all, it just seemed like a completely different way of life.

Personally, I think that the more a community expands, the less we see of this. It's not necessarily about the state of the economy, or about the geographic location - it's just that when an area is saturated with people (like Toronto), the feel of community is lost, and modern communications technology allows many less densely populated places to succumb to this same fate.

It may sound contradictory, but from my experience, larger crowds (real or perceived) tend to make people more self-conscious and self-centered. I can even relate to this on a personal level just from my university classes - the ones with 10 or 20 people, there was a lot of socializing between everyone; the ones with 100 or 200 people, there were many isolated cliques and isolated individuals but no real "vibe" to it.

Why do you think people are more friendly at System and at Boa than they are at the Guvernment? Okay, it's true that they cater to different crowds, but it's not just the crowd itself, it's also the size of it. When you're amid a sea of unfamiliar faces you just get a little scared and thus introverted. That's what people in a city like Toronto deal with on a daily basis, so it's easy to understand why they're always on edge.

I'd like to move to a smaller town sometime. But being a city boy myself, it can be very hard to get used to that way of life on a long-term basis. You have to completely change who you are and, to a greater extent, the way you view the outside world.

quote:

Originally posted by Dr. Z You knock on your neighbour's door, they answer with "WHAT?"

mine says "bon jour ???"

no hes philipino

and ya..people arent nice..back in teh UAE (which is anything but a poor country), if u stood in an elevator with someone and u didnt acknowledge theri presence with a hello or replied to theri hello even if u didnt know them, it was taken as an offence....

there was a time when our car broke down on an interstate highway and we were helped by this guy who was being driven by his personal chauffer....


being poor isnt the foundation for niceness...its the culture

UK, USA and Canada (since those were the ones mentioned) are so "un nice" cos of the fact that theres so much of a mix of culture that its hard for many to relate to each other because of differences in customs, traditions and so on.

I do not know from travels that the expression of nice or what is embodied in the term nice, depends on the region. Atleast when people move to South America (in my case Brazil) people are wow they are the nicest people, always so friendly and kiss on the cheek, and stuff... but in reality they are being no more nice then in canada... it is nothing special for them to be that friendly, it is almost expected of them...

the oppposite can be say Asian culture or japan and chinese, they express there nicenes differently... it is not that they don't mean the same emotion, but they just express it differenty, so people may assume they are cold, but in reality, they just express there feelings different.

I think it may be even more basic.
It comes right down to the choice of the individual and the environment they're currently in.
Diginut and EKD had great examples but if you put that same person in different situations, they'll react differently based on a personal assessment of where they currently are; regardless of race, culture, or place.
It's not a huge change from my basic persona but enough of a twist to 'fit in' or just clam up and observe.
Some examples:
- If I'm out with my friends, I'll act a little differently than when I'm with my parents.
- If I'm with a group or women I don't really know (a any group of strangers), I'll probably clam up for the first little bit until I understand what my boundries are.
- If witnessing something 'different' like a cultural thing, instead of 1st impressions, I want to understand before I put my foot in my mouth

You get the idea...

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