I'm moving to England. I need few tips.

TranceAddict Forums (www.tranceaddict.com/forums)
- Chill Out Room
-- I'm moving to England. I need few tips.
Pages (2): « 1 [2]

Posted by Az on Nov-02-2004 00:18:

Posted by Streakfury on Nov-02-2004 00:19:

quote:
Originally posted by Ian^
this place aint exactly special, believe me

You wait until I'm Prime Minister. Things'll be changing.

Which reminds me, I need 2 voters and �500 and I can start my own party and run for Prime Minister. Would anyone here vote for me??

Posted by Ian on Nov-02-2004 00:19:

quote:
Originally posted by Streakfury
You wait until I'm Prime Minister. Things'll be changing.

Which reminds me, I need 2 voters and �500 and I can start my own party and run for Prime Minister. Would anyone here vote for me??

I'll vote for you

as for the money, i'm broke

Posted by AndskiSpeed on Nov-02-2004 00:21:

Posted by Ian on Nov-02-2004 00:24:

quote:
Originally posted by t�bias
Helpful tips on moving to England:

1. Learn to like Indian food.

2. Forget trying to find quality locally made trance.

3. Learn to like girls with gaps in the front of their teeth. Having a preference for 'fatties' could also help.

4. If you want to be a local you must learn not to wash often. And soap is definetely out.

5. Learn to get super excited when one of your national teams has a win, even against totally shit opposition; this is usually in qualifying or in the early stages of a competition. This applies to any sport, football, cricket. The key is to get super excited early and truly believe you can win the trophy.

And then prepare to get super devastated when the team chokes and manages to lose in an unbelievable manner. Then choose a member of the team to make a scapegoat and cop all the blame. This is the essence of being a fan of any English sporting team.

That should get you off to a flying start.

Let's see about that for Germans....

1) Watch out for what people do to their Wurst

2) Watch out for the women, they're usually found unshaven in all places

3) Don't ask what they were doing between 1939 and 1945, they were on holiday

4) Don't mention Munich and the numbers 1 and 5 along with 'england'

5) Prepare to learn a language where every object has a gender of some sort

6) watch out for Helmut 'cabbage' Kohl

7) Watch out for 'trance' music, Blank & Jones have gone downhill fast and everything else is criminal - a la paffendorf

8) techno - their saving grace, isn't that right chris liebing

9) watch out for the naturists, usually found hanging out anywhere where there is sun.

10) watch out for them in other countries, usually ignorant and expect the spanish to speak german to them and moan when the spanish try to speak english to them

Posted by t�bias on Nov-02-2004 00:24:

Fuck!

I forgot to say something about crap beer!

Gotta love the English, I mean, one just have someone to pick on, although it can leave you feeling a little guilty after a while.

Anybody uses the numerals 1-5 and I will prod them with an electrified rod.

Posted by Ian on Nov-02-2004 00:30:

quote:
Originally posted by t�bias
Fuck!

I forgot to say something about crap beer!

Gotta love the English, I mean, one just have someone to pick on, although it can leave you feeling a little guilty after a while.

Anybody uses the numerals 1-5 and I will prod them with an electrified rod.

Posted by t�bias on Nov-02-2004 00:32:

Another 5 tips for moving to England:

6. A tan is not allowed. When to travelling to other countries only 2 items of clothing are allowed; a) your favorite football shirt which must be tucked in and b) no shirt.

The key with wearing no shirt is to ensure sufficient man boobies and lobster red tan to show your heritage off.

7. The ruling family is actually German.

8. Get signatures off any English people you actually meet as it is rare to find them in England as everybody is Indian, Pakastani or Australian.

9. Useful topics of conversation:

a) England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland are actually the same country. Point this out to all Poms you may meet.

b) Comment that the standard of English football has improved dramatically since there ceased to be any English actually playing in the Premiership.

c) Compliment English edm lovers on the Spice Girls.

10. And bend your ears forward so they stick out a fair bit. This may take a while but will ensure a genuiene English look.

Posted by Halcyon+On+On on Nov-02-2004 02:02:

The Dam breaks...

Posted by jcosgrove on Nov-02-2004 06:31:

quote:
Originally posted by t�bias
Another 5 tips for moving to England:

6. A tan is not allowed. When to travelling to other countries only 2 items of clothing are allowed; a) your favorite football shirt which must be tucked in and b) no shirt.

The key with wearing no shirt is to ensure sufficient man boobies and lobster red tan to show your heritage off.

7. The ruling family is actually German.

8. Get signatures off any English people you actually meet as it is rare to find them in England as everybody is Indian, Pakastani or Australian.

9. Useful topics of conversation:

a) England, Scotland, Wales and Ireland are actually the same country. Point this out to all Poms you may meet.

b) Comment that the standard of English football has improved dramatically since there ceased to be any English actually playing in the Premiership.

c) Compliment English edm lovers on the Spice Girls.

10. And bend your ears forward so they stick out a fair bit. This may take a while but will ensure a genuiene English look.

2 wars
1 world cup
1 5-1 in your own backyard.

thankyou, and goodnight.

Posted by dj_mdma on Nov-02-2004 10:58:

Re: I'm moving to England. I need few tips.

quote:
Originally posted by yogi bear
In July 2005 I'll move to England. I dont know the specific town yet.
So I need few answers.

school:
How much it costs? Im interested in doing Bachelor in Information Technology.

How much for a car insurance (some cheap car nothing fancy).
And are the cars expensive?

Housing, i know that the price will vary, but I'd like to know

What about food, what is the price of a bread, milk.

What about salaries. What is the lowest salary you can get.
What is the average salary.

Thank you for your help.
Im tired of Miami

Post in the UK forum for more specific help...

University costs will vary for overseas students depending on the course. If you hold a valid polish passport and nationality then i think you will be able to pay the standard EU rate of 1100 GBP. If you are "American" then you will probably pay upwards of 10,000 GBP

Car Insurance is very expensive here. It all depends on age and driving experience. Insurance will get cheaper each year, but significant steps are at the ages of 21, 25 and 30. At 19, the quote to insure my 1.4 litre VW Polo was around 1500GBP for the year...Insurance gets cheaper for every year your car is insured and you don't have to make a claim.

Housing Prices vary across the country, with London being the most expensive. You can rent a studio flat for about 150GBP a week in a pretty crappy area. A decent apartment...i'll take my gf's apartment as an example, is a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment in London Bridge, which would cost you 400GBP a week to rent, and 330,000 to buy.

For food prices, check out www.tesco.com, the UK's number one grocery retailer

Salary wise, it all depends on what sort of qualifications you have. If you have a degree, and you enter proffesional work in longon, you will probably earn from between 17,500-25,000GBP. If you enter non professional work you'll probably earn between 10,000 to 14,000.

HTH

Posted by fbgdavidson on Nov-02-2004 13:28:

Re: I'm moving to England. I need few tips.

quote:
Originally posted by yogi bear
I'm moving to England. I need few tips

Buy a return ticket!

Once you get here you will realise this country sucks in a lot of ways and will be aching to get on AA57!

Posted by trewqy on Nov-02-2004 13:33:

Move to Liverpool. learn to love the Reds and you'll die happy.

Anyways.. who the fuck wants to live there anyways.

As the guy from Snatch said,

"So what if you've got beaches?..who the fuck wants to see them!"

Posted by Streakfury on Nov-02-2004 16:06:

quote:
Originally posted by Ian^
I'll vote for you

as for the money, i'm broke

Excellent. Maybe I should start a thread in UKTA and rally more supporters to my cause.

I'm broke too, so the whole world domination... er, I mean, Prime Minister thing will have to wait... for now.

Posted by t�bias on Nov-02-2004 23:21:

quote:
Originally posted by trewqy
Move to Liverpool.

Good idea.

Why not also giving him some tips on how to steal cars?

Pages (2): « 1 [2]