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Re: Re: Re: did i just cheat?

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Originally posted by Michael19 did she though? j/k and FF, if you keep going back to your ex, and shag her when the chance comes you will enver move on. Its tough, but you just have to say no if the chance comes up again, unless your over her nd its just a fuck. but it doesnt sound like that at the moment.

if you don't mind me asking...what makes it sound like i'm not over her? but you're right...you really can't move on if you have a fuck buddy on the side like that. i think i would have been retarded to turn her down last night though...man...good stuff...

Be careful! If you end up dating the new girl and everything works out, there's a chance that the ex might come along and try and fuck everything up between you two when she finds out you're happy with someone else.

Ex's are vindictive little bitches like that.

Do you REALLY like this new girl or are you just kind of like "eh, she's someone for now"?

what about the girl from your work?? Didnt you say you were gonna try & hitch up with her?

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Originally posted by anuneventrade Do you REALLY like this new girl or are you just kind of like "eh, she's someone for now"?

hmmmm that's a great question.

i guess really i just kinda felt like i needed to start trying to date people again because it's been awhile since i put an effort into it...

i knew this girl liked me...i was always pretty attracted to her...and after hanging out with her a couple of times we obviously had a lot in common, which i was pretty surprised about.

to be honest...i don't think i'm going to get too serious with either of these girls. you know i think i had more fun at the club with some of the TA's on friday then i had in a loooong time. and i've kinda liked being on my own lately...i like just worrying about my stuff.

so i guess to answer your question...i don't REALLY like her...i mean i like spending time with her and we get along great..but only after a few dates i don't like i'm crazy about her. i wouldn't be against that growing, but i haven't felt it yet...i think it's been too early.

Don't let your ex back into your life unless you want a relationship with her(which you shouldn't because she's your ex). You didn't cheat or anything we all have moments of weakness. You're not committed to the other girl yet so its all fair game.

If you don't really like her, forget her. And don't talk to the ex like that anymore. To be honest, it's hard for me to see my ex who I was with on and off for four years. Once I realized I did really want to be with Jason I made sure that we still talked, but that we weren't really alone together anymore, simply because I don't need that drama in a relationship that I'm actually trying to make work for once.

Dont worry bro. You didnt cheat at all.

Re: Re: Re: Re: did i just cheat?

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Originally posted by Floorfiller if you don't mind me asking...what makes it sound like i'm not over her?

this

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but we're both completely attracted to one another and i really can't say it won't keep happening...

still seems you like her too much to say no, thus not really over here!

only way is to stop the one-night stands happening and you really should cut all contact. If you keep shagging her every so often you will spend the next day and week thinkging about her none stop. Tis a vicious circle.

keep seening the other girl, but not seriously. and keep away from the ex until you no you can control yourself around her!

oh, try the mount the girl in work aswell sure!

FF should get a manwhore shock collar for his pen0r. If he gets to close *ZAP*

Until you have the 'committment talk' most things go, however this is a good way to stuff up a quality future relationship with a quality person as you are playing with danger.

youre a bad person. Fundamentally.

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Originally posted by Sand Leaper You're not in a relationship with any of them, so frankly I don't see what the big deal is.

Do as you will, as long as you arent misleading either one of them you arent doing anything wrong. If at some point one of them tries to discuss having a relationship with you you will either have to choose or be honest about what you want.

don't ever tell a new girlfriend about stuff that's still going on with an old girlfriend. basically, no girl that has a romantic interest in you is going to want to hear you talk about your ex. that kind of stuff should be discussed with friends, or people who are indifferent to the new relationship. if you're interested in persuing a relationship with the new girl, then don't say anything about the ex to her... and it's probably a wise idea to stop fucking around with the ex as well.

but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be fucking around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you.

You can't cheat on somebody if you aren't dating them.

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Originally posted by l�cid don't ever tell a new girlfriend about stuff that's still going on with an old girlfriend. basically, no girl that has a romantic interest in you is going to want to hear you talk about your ex. that kind of stuff should be discussed with friends, or people who are indifferent to the new relationship. if you're interested in persuing a relationship with the new girl, then don't say anything about the ex to her... and it's probably a wise idea to stop fucking around with the ex as well. but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be fucking around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you.

I already told you the "friends with benefits" story of mine. Be careful. She'll tell you that it's okay to just have sex and then give you the lovy eyes anyway. Girls get attached. It's what they do. If you are honest in conveying that you only want the sex, you haven't done anything wrong, but it gets tough the longer it goes on. Especially if you know that they are just okay with it, because they'd rather have just the sex than nothing. Just let things happen naturally with the new girl and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, we'll find you some more girls. That isn't really too hard. I need to meet some of your platonic girlfriends too, one of these days. I've got tons of those too, as you saw on Friday, that I can set you up with.

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: did i just cheat?

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Originally posted by Michael19 still seems you like her too much to say no, thus not really over here! only way is to stop the one-night stands happening and you really should cut all contact. If you keep shagging her every so often you will spend the next day and week thinkging about her none stop. Tis a vicious circle. keep seening the other girl, but not seriously. and keep away from the ex until you no you can control yourself around her! oh, try the mount the girl in work aswell sure!

I disagree. I don't think he isn't over his ex, I think he still wants to hit it (especially if he's drunk with her alone). Seems pretty natural. I won't sleep with a particular ex anymore, but if I get drunk, it could happen. My thought process goes out the window. If he's serious about the new girl, he should stop sleeping with the ex. If he doesn't know, which seems to be the case, he can continue this way until one of them forces him to make a decision.

Don't tell the ex about the new girl, though. That could really get you screwed over in the end.

Re: did i just cheat?

quote:

Originally posted by Floorfiller 1. did i just fuck this girl over? 2.i mean, we went out like three times and never really talked about being exclusive yet... 3. do i tell this girl about last night?

1. No you did not

2. This is the reason why you did not

3. No!!!!



so that was the quick version of my advice....

essentially, why bother telling her when you havent discussed being steady with one another? It'd be pointless to tell her.
Anyway, nothing wrong with hooking up with someone you cared about from the past, even if you are sort of dating another person. Always test those waters again, keep the options open.

Once you get her (the new girl) to be your girlfriend (if she does), then cool it with other chicas. But until then, its all fair game

ps: dont be a pussy, jason!

quote:

Originally posted by l�cid but to answer your question... no, i don't think you cheated. it's not exactly cool to be fucking around with your ex while you're trying to date other girls, but i don't think its full-fledged cheating. it's just disrespectful. you're somewhat leading the new girl on. she might be thinking that you're all into her and that a great relationship might be starting, daydreaming about being with you forever (trust me girls are crazy), and you're not giving it 100%. i believe if you are starting any relationship, both people have to be in it 100% or it's just not going to work. if you can't give 100%, then obviously it's not the right girl or the right time for you.

yeah i agree...it was disrepectful. and just to kinda laugh at something you said...the whole girls daydreaming thing, that's usually me hahaha . i don't know what this new girl thinks about me. she's one of these people that is always really busy and into her stuff...and it's been kind of hard for me to see her, but that doesn't necessarily mean that she isn't interested. i think that if this had happened after a few more times of seeing this new girl, i probably wouldn't have done anything with the ex...because it is like you said disrespectful and i hate dishonesty in relationships...

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Originally posted by NiteMer I already told you the "friends with benefits" story of mine. Be careful. She'll tell you that it's okay to just have sex and then give you the lovy eyes anyway. Girls get attached. It's what they do. If you are honest in conveying that you only want the sex, you haven't done anything wrong, but it gets tough the longer it goes on. Especially if you know that they are just okay with it, because they'd rather have just the sex than nothing. Just let things happen naturally with the new girl and see where it goes. If it doesn't work out, we'll find you some more girls. That isn't really too hard. I need to meet some of your platonic girlfriends too, one of these days. I've got tons of those too, as you saw on Friday, that I can set you up with.

see we did talk about that stuff the other night. she told me she didn't want to give me the wrong idea...which in the past i might have gotten the wrong idea, but now...i know where we stand. we just have a lot of sexual chemistry.

oh and about my platonic girlfriends hahaha...well...most of the girls you were hanging out with on friday are way better man. there is a reason they are platonic friends hehehe ...but hey...you can still hit it if you want...i don't care hehehe

quote:

Originally posted by NiteMer I disagree. I don't think he isn't over his ex, I think he still wants to hit it (especially if he's drunk with her alone). Seems pretty natural. I won't sleep with a particular ex anymore, but if I get drunk, it could happen. My thought process goes out the window. If he's serious about the new girl, he should stop sleeping with the ex. If he doesn't know, which seems to be the case, he can continue this way until one of them forces him to make a decision. Don't tell the ex about the new girl, though. That could really get you screwed over in the end.

see i agree because it's not like i couldn't say no...i just didn't want to. i knew what i was doing...it wasn't even really a drunk thing. i mean, we both had some drinks to start out the night, but really we both knew exactly what we were doing...neither of us thought it was a drunken mistake.

quote:

Originally posted by Mr. Pink essentially why bother telling her when you havent discussed being steady with one another? It'd be pointless to tell her. Anyway, nothing wrong with hooking up with someone you cared about from the past, even if you are sort of dating another person. Always test those waters again, keep the options open. Once you get her (the new girl) to be your girlfriend (if she does), then cool it with other chicas. But until then, its all fair game

i don't plan on telling her...you're right that there wouldn't be a point. i mean, of course if we were seriously dating and i was put in that position again...of course i would turn it down.



but anyway, thanks everyone for the great opinions and advice...really good points and thoughts on all sides of it...i appreciate the feedback

(and thanks for baring with another of my stupid relationship threads...i know they are probably getting old )

Nice thesis paper. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I'm sure things are just fine as they are. When "the talk" happens, you will have to stop sleeping with your ex. Until then, hit it some more brotha.

No harm done....yet. Howver, this situation can't go on; it's not fair to either of them.


Therefore, I'm giving you 24 hours to choose one of them. Ready...


Go.

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Originally posted by ShadoWolf No harm done....yet. Howver, this situation can't go on; it's not fair to either of them. Therefore, I'm giving you 24 hours to choose one of them. Ready... Go.

well...i mean with the ex...the decision has already been made...i mean, i would have wanted to go out with her when she came back, but we didn't want to start things up again. she just wants me for sex...



anyway...i think i've already made a decision...thanks for the advice people...

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Originally posted by Floorfiller she just wants me for sex...

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Originally posted by Floorfiller anyway...i think i've already made a decision...thanks for the advice people...

Question is: which did you choose?

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