Ok U've just used the toilet & theres no toilet paper...now what :p

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-- Ok U've just used the toilet & theres no toilet paper...now what :p
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Posted by randummboy on Jan-24-2002 03:45:

quote:
Originally posted by Ur Dream Grl
and i always check to see if there s toilet paper.. and if not... i ll ask the person that lives in the house for some.. and since i am girl and that makes me have the privilege of getting away with that whole wipping story... they wont ever know if i went #1 or #2 (in proper words... SHITTING OR PEEING)

cute..

Posted by Trance4Eternity on Jan-24-2002 04:17:

Use my hand and then wipe it on the wall, that'll learn not to leave any toilet paper in the can.

Seriously, I Always look to see if there is any before I sit down.
If ya forget, just take off ur sock and use that mofo.

Posted by AnotherWay83 on Jan-24-2002 06:19:

this is an interesting thread...of great benefit to mankind...also to womankind...

in sum countries where i've been if u used toilet paper u'd fuck up the drainage...so u have to use water...LOL...rite by the toilet seat they have this lil pipe thing, meant especially to clean up after shitting...it's all very well designed and stuff...heheheh...

the british army way is a good thing to keep in mind in case of emergencies...thanks neo!!

thank god i've never had such an emergency tho

peace

Posted by Xavier on Jan-24-2002 07:54:

use gillette mach 3 (or any other razors) not only does remove hair but it makes sure you never miss out on anything.

If you have no razors then...if the previous person forgot to flush pick up the used toilet paper from inside the toilet. And use it (so what if its wet)

if your shirt is long enough use the back of your shirt...unless your the one washing.

Posted by tc-fan on Jan-24-2002 08:00:

if i ever run into a problem like that..i would wipe my ass with my underware and (put it back on)LOL J/K...well i would throw it away..underware dont cost that much this days..

Posted by j_spot on Jan-24-2002 08:36:

just to humour you all

[img]http://communities.msn.com/_Secure/0OAA3ddcSdPXNsvrVHqk5kpWZrIGZVNzso1!fKXVToZURa9dRhSvP*vT88wSEtBybiaprKFFxpMQFCvc5tcx2CnQAcAA6AC8A/DSCF0259.JPG[/img]

[img]http://communities.msn.com/_Secure/0OAD**2kSFuYSW8d2hwIDLlpLI2ian0e!24wN3wgXYYNPHg7fOEsmQkhPo*yuGvHTE4SMHafYt*hTGeeQoy!klnQAcAA6AC8A/DSCF1261.JPG[/img]
Ahh the joys of being male

Posted by RTP on Jan-24-2002 21:36:

I usually don't have probs with toilet paper cuz in most cases I got some handkerchiefs with me (VERY useful in some cases )...

Posted by Ur Dream Grl on Jan-25-2002 00:09:

dwammmmmmm... this thread keeps getting better and better.. heheheh

k guys./. but i got an idea...

how about this??

if u ever go through this situation.... all u have to do is simply wipe it off with ur underwear... and throw the underwear out...
i am sure mr weeney would love to hang lose and free.... hehehehe

xoxo Ur Dream Grl

Posted by DRM on Jan-25-2002 00:28:

Coup what a quality thread! well done This bitch of a situation has happened to me with alarming regularity but i always read on the shitter (usually a magasine) so if in dire straits (lmao ) then i just use the paper from that. A little glossy so u have to be careful of the shit up ur back effort.

As for school shit station paper yeah that stuff is like sandpaper might as well wipe ur arse wiv a brick! But the last time i had a shit in school was when i was 8! im 18 now and still havent been since

Peace

Posted by Slapskin on Jan-25-2002 01:43:

lol if that would happen to me i would wipe it with t-shirt or something.

Posted by Dj O'Callaghan on Jan-25-2002 02:01:

I remember in Greece right the drainage on the Island we were on was fucked it couldn't handle bog roll the bog roll anyway just fell to pieces in your hands, anyway you couldn't flush the toliet paper down so you had to place it in a bin next to the toliet, but the room lady didn't empty ours so we just flushed the stuff down, only problem was the tolier stank of sick, and also someone went for a shit in the room next ours and a fucking turd floated up our bog nightmare plumbing their, toliet roll was the weakest I've ever ecountered lol.

Posted by Trancewave on Jan-25-2002 02:15:

LOL this thread is hilarious. Normally I always check to make sure there's at least an extra roll of toilet paper to go that extra mile in case of a manly load. But you are right Coup, sometimes you never know when you will need it.

I never thought I would share this story but here goes. My worst experience ever was when I went to this rave one time in the absolute dirtiest venue ever. This place was digusting with toilets overflowing, no ventilation, wet floors and NO toilet paper. Anyways, that night I had to go BADLY but there's no way I was gonna do it there so I told my friends I'd be back and went out to find a nearby coffee shop. I raced down the street a few blocks away and finally found one (barely made it). Burst into the coffee shop and headed straight for the washroom. Made it and let out a huge sigh of relief. There wasn't too much paper left as I used some to pad the toilet seat before I sat down...I didn't care that there was no paper because I was about to explode. Anyways to make a long story short, I had to 'freshen up' by using my undies.
The shop owner kept banging at the washroom door wondering what the hell I was doing because I was taking so long (this was 4 in the morning, so I think he thought I was shooting up or something.) He kept heckling me and I kept telling him I'd be right out) I got P'O ed and dumped my undies into the garbage can LOL. After I opened the door he and some members of his staff was standing outside. I just nonchalantly walked out and headed out on my way back to the rave. God I feel sorry for the person changing the garbage, but oh well.

Posted by JM on Jan-25-2002 04:58:

quote:
Originally posted by Ur Dream Grl
dwammmmmmm... this thread keeps getting better and better.. heheheh

k guys./. but i got an idea...

how about this??

if u ever go through this situation.... all u have to do is simply wipe it off with ur underwear... and throw the underwear out...
i am sure mr weeney would love to hang lose and free.... hehehehe

xoxo Ur Dream Grl

hehe my friend (well ex friend) has to stop at a gas station and lets just say he "let go" before he was able to sit down.......easy to say he was "hanging loose" the rest of the trip home, while i had a good laugh for hours

yeah worst case scenario, wipe with boxers and throw them away....

>JM<

Posted by Vivid Boy on Jan-25-2002 06:32:

ok heres another

since we're talking abt shits....has this ever happened to you? you go on the pooper do ur business get up and the POOP is GONE!?!??! that freaks the shit out of me....i have to look around to make sure it didnt find its way out of the toilet or something......i think its a guvernment conspiracy...I HATE GHOST SHITS!

Posted by dj_mdma on Jan-25-2002 11:41:

Re: ok heres another

Posted by Rostros on Jan-25-2002 12:43:

Turd ..........

Funny Post m8 . theres a few things you can do .........

1. Get the toliet roll carboard roll you know the one left at the end , rip it in half and slide it across your ring , and collect necessary peanuts , then flush.

2. Don't wipe it , just keep your bum cheeks together , and wait 10 minz and give it a wash.

3. Use your hand , flush the loo first then with fresh water comming out do a beeda thingy . Now cmon its only poo , use the bit on your hand , then wash after of course.

nice :]

Posted by Ur Dream Grl on Jan-27-2002 00:24:

Re: ok heres another

Posted by Spad on Jan-27-2002 00:36:

Re: ok heres another

quote:
Originally posted by Vivid Boy
since we're talking abt shits....has this ever happened to you? you go on the pooper do ur business get up and the POOP is GONE!?!??! that freaks the shit out of me....i have to look around to make sure it didnt find its way out of the toilet or something......i think its a guvernment conspiracy...I HATE GHOST SHITS!

A few years back on a mates birthday we all went out and got absolutly hammered to the point of being shitfaced. Anyway at one point during the walk home my mate needed a shit and having nowhere to go he squatted in somebodys garden. After he did it, turned around and it wasn't there! Odd he thought but being drunk didn't really worry too much.

Anyway we carry on home, next day he wakes up goes to take a shower and finds his turn in his trouser leg. He'd basically sqatted, taken a shit which fell into his jeans then pulled them back up and carried on oblivious.

I'll have to remember to ask him how he wiped his arse tho, might have a good tip.

Posted by Cosmo on Jan-27-2002 01:57:

quote:
Use my hand and then wipe it on the wall, that'll learn not to leave any toilet paper in the can.

Ha-ha-ha!!!
And btw, does anybody know how this 3 shells worked in "DEMOLITION MAN" with Sylvester Stallone?

Posted by JM on Jan-27-2002 07:36:

quote:
Originally posted by Cosmo

Ha-ha-ha!!!
And btw, does anybody know how this 3 shells worked in "DEMOLITION MAN" with Sylvester Stallone?

haha i remember that!...(dont seem very efficient if u ask me)

>JM< 3 shells.....

Posted by j_spot on Jan-27-2002 10:09:

I must ask, why has nobody commented on the pics I posted?

Posted by Coup on Jan-28-2002 14:30:

hahaha im in stitches reading some of u lot, too many to quote, yeah someone must no how the 3 sea shells work! lol! keep it comming

Posted by TranceMasterUk on Jan-28-2002 15:05:

omfg lmfao

quote:
A few years back on a mates birthday we all went out and got absolutly hammered to the point of being shitfaced. Anyway at one point during the walk home my mate needed a shit and having nowhere to go he squatted in somebodys garden. After he did it, turned around and it wasn't there! Odd he thought but being drunk didn't really worry too much.

Anyway we carry on home, next day he wakes up goes to take a shower and finds his turn in his trouser leg. He'd basically sqatted, taken a shit which fell into his jeans then pulled them back up and carried on oblivious.

I'll have to remember to ask him how he wiped his arse tho, might have a good tip.

i laughed my ass off at this, i just imagined it in my head,lmao
ahhhh great thread,
iv had some laugh here today

Posted by Fatboy on Jan-28-2002 19:41:

Re: Ok U've just used the toilet & theres no toilet paper...now what :p

quote:
Originally posted by Coup
ok, firstly this topic isnt going to be the nicest so if u wish to complain about the vulgarity of this thread, don't, go phone up ur isp and comaplain to them instead about something else.

i was around my mates house and went to the toilet, and had a shit, and i went to wipe my arse and to my "oh shit" tone of voice there was no toilet paper, im sure i aint the only one to expirence this, so just wondered what others have done? i was looking for paper or alternatives, moving my head more times a second that a pigeon, and then realised that there was nowt, but then found some baby wipes so i was ok that time, i had a backup plan which is very foul but ill let u use ur imagination about that

so just wondered what others have done in this situation?

(ps-yes i no this is a foul topic, but its all for fun, so dont reply with some shitty () comment plz.

Wipe?

Posted by u4ea:[soulstar] on Jan-29-2002 05:17:

quote:
Originally posted by Juricimo

hehe my friend (well ex friend) has to stop at a gas station and lets just say he "let go" before he was able to sit down.......easy to say he was "hanging loose" the rest of the trip home, while i had a good laugh for hours

yeah worst case scenario, wipe with boxers and throw them away....

>JM<

BWAHAHAHAHAH!!

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