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-- Would you introduce your children to partying ???
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Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see.

I still go out to parties once in a while, cause I love the music so much, but I don't do the other "things" that are associated with partying. Not cool to be sketched around your kid.

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Originally posted by psiico111 I have a niece in NWT... a couple of years back when she was 14 she started getting in trouble with drugs and drinking, skipping school, stuff like that... Rather then do what everyone else was doing and tell her to not drink or do drugs I told her to be smart about it...

you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking?

parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen.

Vasectomy. Look into it.

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Originally posted by Ashley Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see. I still go out to parties once in a while, cause I love the music so much, but I don't do the other "things" that are associated with partying. Not cool to be sketched around your kid.

Please. You see worse shit on TV and in movies than you'd see.

Only difference is that TV is fake and life is real.

More you try to hide stuff from your kids, more they'll likely fall into it.

Yes, there are time and place to tell them stuff. But to try to hide what the world really is like just silly.

Better educate them yourself, then they go out and 'experiment'.

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Originally posted by evil_cookie you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking? parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen. Vasectomy. Look into it.

Look on the other side.

Sex ed starts at grade 5 IIRC and sex IMO can be more dangerous than drinking and drugs.

Not saying I agree with telling kids about how to do drugs and drinking however.

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Originally posted by EvilTree Look on the other side. Sex ed starts at grade 5 IIRC and sex IMO can be more dangerous than drinking and drugs. Not saying I agree with telling kids about how to do drugs and drinking however.

When I was growing up, I didn't drink till I was in college and I didn't try drugs until I was graduated from college. On the other side of the coin, my sister drank by the time she was in 7th grade and was trying drugs out like E during high school classes!

Things like drugs, drink, and sex are in middle schools now as compared to never in previous decades. I would prefer to educate my children on what is out there (i.e. WARN THEM) and, if they like the scene, to be there for them rather than shut them out and judge them for something I loved my tenure in.

I have known parents who do still party - who take the kids to their parent's house to babysit them and then have parties at their house when the children aren't around. I honestly don't know how I feel about that but I do know parents who need that timeout once in a great while.

*shrug*

I doubt I will ever have children but if I do, I intend to be honest with them.

*Edit*

When I say "in the scene", I mean into the music, not the drugs. The drugs I would not support but if they love the music, I would warn them on what can happen, what drugs are, etc.

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Originally posted by Ashley Having a child myself, I chose No. I agree with Chinamon, if she finds it herself, and she is an appropriate age, then I will tell her the dangers and what is all involved. There are a lof of scary things that I have seen in my "partying days" that I would never want my daughter to see.

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Originally posted by EvilTree But to try to hide what the world really is like just silly.

Please highlight where I said that I would hide things from my daughter. I have just seen some things that have really scared me that I wouldn't want her to see.

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Originally posted by kabelicious I have known parents who do still party - who take the kids to their parent's house to babysit them and then have parties at their house when the children aren't around. I honestly don't know how I feel about that but I do know parents who need that timeout once in a great while. *shrug*

If the system works, and the grandparents dont mind, why not.

Your entitled to a night of fun, maybe not every weekend in and weekend out for 2 or 3 solid days, but nothing says you cant enjoy life as you did before so long as all your priorities are staright!

My god, how much wouldnt most kids wanna visit grandma and grandpa when younger... and if theyre still too young to really know... well maybe they forged an even stronger bond w/ their grandparents... most grandparents i know are happy to take the grandkids anyways too... love spending the extra time w/ them.

jenn adn terry often do this and it works out great and i dont see anything wrong w/ it at all.

If my children can't know, or partake in what I'm doing (provided they are old enough), then I'm doing a terrible job as a father. Hell yes they can party with me, and hell yes I'm going to get my family into the scene.

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Originally posted by chinamon the problem with that is they might enjoy it and never leave. then you've got a crackhead son/daughter to deal with.

very true. ive been twice and i find it too sketchy for me. maybe cuz im asian and the fact i almost got jumped at guv by sketchy azns

I'm way too young to be thinking about kids.

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Originally posted by evil_cookie you told a 14 year old girl, to be smart about doing drugs and drinking? parent of the year, ladies and gentlemen. Vasectomy. Look into it.

Correction, that would be uncle of the year.

But seriously, you seem to have missed the part about her already doing drugs and drinking and skipping school, sex wasn't mentioned but I know that was going on too, as I said, I was once where she is. Everyone else was telling her not to do those things at all and she shut them all out, if anything, she got her back up about it and got worse with the way it was told to me. All I did was buck the trend and try to communicate with her in a way she would understand. Was it the best thing to do? No, but it did work. It was a better thing to do then what everyone else was doing. She's in school everyday now and from what I understand doing well plus her mother says she doesn't come home on Friday and Saturday nights out of it like she used to. This happened 2 years ago and she's still doing well. I may be a crappy uncle in your opinion but I did have an influence over her that put her in a better place then she'd have been in had she continued down the same road. I didn't tell her how to do it, she already knew, I told her how to be responsible about it. She listened to me where she wasn't listening to anyone else except her friends who I'm sure if they were anything like my friends at the time were constantly preaching to do things to excess.

If you haven't lived in a small town in the middle of no where it'd be difficult I think for you to understand how mind numbingly boring it can be to be a teen. There's nothing to do but drink, get high and screw. Add peer pressure to the boredom and it's no wonder kids in Nfld are getting pregnant at 14 and kids in NWT are hooked on sniffing glue or gasoline and drinking Lysol. And no before you freak out, I didn't say it was okay to sniff glue or drink Lysol, but kids up there do it. I knew 11 year olds who had been chewing tobacco from the age of 7 when I lived there. In Nfld we stuck to the booze and hashish, NWT kids were harsh in their habits.

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Originally posted by psiico111 Correction, that would be uncle of the year. But seriously, you seem to have missed the part about her already doing drugs and drinking and skipping school, sex wasn't mentioned but I know that was going on too, as I said, I was once where she is. Everyone else was telling her not to do those things at all and she shut them all out, if anything, she got her back up about it and got worse with the way it was told to me. All I did was buck the trend and try to communicate with her in a way she would understand. Was it the best thing to do? No, but it did work. It was a better thing to do then what everyone else was doing. She's in school everyday now and from what I understand doing well plus her mother says she doesn't come home on Friday and Saturday nights out of it like she used to. This happened 2 years ago and she's still doing well. I may be a crappy uncle in your opinion but I did have an influence over her that put her in a better place then she'd have been in had she continued down the same road. I didn't tell her how to do it, she already knew, I told her how to be responsible about it. She listened to me where she wasn't listening to anyone else except her friends who I'm sure if they were anything like my friends at the time were constantly preaching to do things to excess. If you haven't lived in a small town in the middle of no where it'd be difficult I think for you to understand how mind numbingly boring it can be to be a teen. There's nothing to do but drink, get high and screw. Add peer pressure to the boredom and it's no wonder kids in Nfld are getting pregnant at 14 and kids in NWT are hooked on sniffing glue or gasoline and drinking Lysol. And no before you freak out, I didn't say it was okay to sniff glue or drink Lysol, but kids up there do it. I knew 11 year olds who had been chewing tobacco from the age of 7 when I lived there. In Nfld we stuck to the booze and hashish, NWT kids were harsh in their habits.

I was raised in Regina till I was 16, I know all about living in a small town.

If she's doing better, that's great.
What I�m suggesting is it wasn�t due to your 'advice' that her life improved. It sounds really mean, but I stand by it - you should never encourage a young child/teen to do drugs and drink, even if they are active and you�re trying to tell him or her to do it in moderation. It�s still the wrong message at end of the day, because you�re supporting the habbit, instead of opposing it, like you should.

I'm innocently trying to convince my younger sister...into the music though. Whether she chooses to succumb, and then decide to party is up to her.

I swear drew wants his sister Becca to get into the scene!

I am 20 and i have a brother who is 8. When he is 19, if he decides that he wants to party it up propper, i would love to be there for his first time.

but i think siblings and your own children is totaly different

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Originally posted by oldschool420 Don't plan on having kids. Unless the world takes a good turn in the next while.

Justin, for someone almost half my age, you really impress me with your maturity sometimes

Is AB freezing?

xx

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Originally posted by evil_cookie I was raised in Regina till I was 16, I know all about living in a small town. If she's doing better, that's great. What I�m suggesting is it wasn�t due to your 'advice' that her life improved. It sounds really mean, but I stand by it - you should never encourage a young child/teen to do drugs and drink, even if they are active and you�re trying to tell him or her to do it in moderation. It�s still the wrong message at end of the day, because you�re supporting the habbit, instead of opposing it, like you should.

Ok

I agree with you to an extent.

I am going to throw a made up but, imo, real stat into the equation.... 80% of peeps are going to do it anyway!

Education rather than opposition FTW

I can't be arsed to type the full reasons why I believe this but trust me. They are vast and wide and span many socioeconomic and geographical areas.

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Originally posted by evil_cookie I was raised in Regina till I was 16, I know all about living in a small town. If she's doing better, that's great. What I�m suggesting is it wasn�t due to your 'advice' that her life improved. It sounds really mean, but I stand by it - you should never encourage a young child/teen to do drugs and drink, even if they are active and you�re trying to tell him or her to do it in moderation. It�s still the wrong message at end of the day, because you�re supporting the habbit, instead of opposing it, like you should.

Regina is much bigger then Aqlavik, and Aqlavik (750 pop) is bigger then some of the towns I lived in in Newfoundland. But yeah, I'd say Regina qualifies as a small town, at least compared to TO.

I'm not disagreeing with you, were she my daughter and living under my roof, trust me, I would have handled it very differently. I was asked to help because everyone was at their wits end. I don't even know the girl, that'll give an idea of how desperate everyone was if they asked me to talk to her. The last time I saw her she was 6 and that was only the second time I saw her. All my contact with her was through email, I didn't even speak to her on the phone. I did the best with what I had and what I was given. I didn't have the power to enforce opposition to what she was doing so it wasn't a route I felt I could take. If she were mine she'd still be grounded. I won't get into what sort of a mother she has or what types of boyfriends she has but you can well imagine.

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Originally posted by English Rachel I can't be arsed to type the full reasons why I believe this but trust me.

Arsed? I love it. I swear I haven't heard that expression in years.

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Originally posted by psiico111 Regina is much bigger then Aqlavik, and Aqlavik (750 pop) is bigger then some of the towns I lived in in Newfoundland. But yeah, I'd say Regina qualifies as a small town, at least compared to TO.

I also come from a small town in the middle of nowhere (Barry's Bay), with a population of 1,200. The "trend" I noticed is that a lot of irresponsible parents have children whom, as young as 12 years old, are snorting coke and doing other drugs. I personally find that disgusting. The parent/s don't really do anything about it. A while ago, I was at someone's house, and their son, aged 13, was smoking weed outside with his friends. His parents just laughed it off. I Asked them how they could possibly find that funny, and the response: "We were teenagers at one point, and went through that phase." They said that they want their child to learn the difference between good and bad through experience.

I agree that kids need to learn certain things through experience, HOWEVER, I strongly believe that it is a parent's responsibility to guide their children through life. They need structure, and good role models. You can't expect them to grow up into mature adults on their own.

If you decide to have kids, be a responsible parent, FFS.

And I voted that when I have children, I will not introduce them to partying. If they do get into the scene on their own, I will definitely tell them how to party wisely, and not make some of the same mistakes that I have made.

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Originally posted by Ashley Please highlight where I said that I would hide things from my daughter. I have just seen some things that have really scared me that I wouldn't want her to see.

Poor choice of word on my part.

My apologies.

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Originally posted by _EuG_ but i think siblings and your own children is totaly different

To a degree, I agree.

Might be a cultural thing, but if my sister does something stupid, I'm the first one to slap her in the head.

Well...if I was to have a kid today...that would make me 51 by the time he/she was able to go to the club....I would like to think I will have stopped this crazy shit by then.

I would definately introduce my children to the music.....shit...its my car and I will play what I want in it. The only concern there is about the scene is the drug issue....I would definately want to talk to my kids about that.....I will probably need a new hook up by then anyhow

but seriously, if I ever do have kids I would want them to understand what they are getting into....if they are going to do them then they are going to do them....nothing I say or do can stop that. I would want them to be knowledgable about what they are getting into.

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Originally posted by me@t k@tie it is a parent's responsibility to guide their children through life. They need structure, and good role models.

Precisely what's wrong with my niece. She hasn't seen her dad since she was two months old and her mother is a flake with flakier men in and out of her life. If it wasn't for my father stepping into her life she'd have nothing.

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Originally posted by psiico111 Here's why: my parents divorced when I was 2 and I was raised by my dad until I turned 16 then I moved in with my mother. My dad pretended to be this upstanding citizen who never did anything wrong whereas my mother was always open and honest about things. To this day I see my dad as a joke and my mother as someone to respect.

Why would you see your dad as a joke? He did his best to raise you with good morals by setting a positive example. People always expect a lot out of their parents, but never once seriously sit down and realize that they are individual human beings with unique emotions and motivations, just as the kids who are constantly judging them. It takes a lot to raise a kid, especially from the age of 2 to 16, and you take HIM for a joke?
Anyone see the implications here.....???


As for me, I voted for the last option, but I find the poll kinda inapplicable. I'd never introduce my kids to the scene, nor would I introduce it to drugs. When I do have kids, I play to speak to them constantly, not lecture, but on even terms, honestly, about everything they ask. But some things I myself will not expose them to, I will merely inform, from my own experiences, including both good and bad.

As for those adamantly claiming to not have kids because of the world and everything in it, I'm afraid I can't agree to those motivations. Maybe we're too childish and don't have the time, but to claim the WORLD as responsible for children, I find a stupid argument. The world can't change THAT much in the forseeable future, and I'm sure that we all enjoy our existence, such as it is. Why not share that life, and educate. The most active role anyone will play in a childs life is the parent. All they have to do is just WANT to be a part of the childs life.
On that note, kids and parents having close relationships is very cool. But sometimes, like samhouse, IMO it can be too close. It can be argued that you've had a parental security blanket over you your whole life. I'm sure you'll disagree, but consider that one large part of growing up is the strength of character to deal with certain discoveries on one's own.
And as for all of us waiting to have kids (which group I myself am a part of) consider that our parents probably had us at a much younger age, yet how many would not want to be around now? Says something about our own strengths of character that we've become so self-centered in just one generation.

I doubt I would introduce my kids to it, however, if I found out they were I'd make sure they do it right. Let's face it, kids will do what they want, I'd rather my kids do it safely. Besides, I've got lots of wisdom to pass down on this subject.

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