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quote:

Originally posted by Moral Hazard Not anymore... as of Jan 1/07 it's 18 unless there is less then 5 years difference between the two parties involved... then it's 15. 14 is now off limits. Looks like you'll have to leave that girl on the Rideau.

And hopefully they will start giving jail time worthy of the sick fucks that take advantage of the small children. Changing the age doesn't really do anything, imo.

Anyways, didn't mean to hijack.

quote:

Originally posted by Justkillingtime Anyways, didn't mean to hijack.

Terrorist

oh and yea, the girls he was watching on the porn looked like 16 years old...kinda bugged me. i started thinking he was a pedophile and all this shit. lol he swore to me that he watched other porn too, which he did, but he REALLY likes the young looking ones, and i realized that's not something that goes away. he's ALWAYS gonna like to look at that shit and the older he gets, the creepier it's going to get, and the more insulting to me it's going to get.

right?

ughh, i need some fresh air. i'm going for a drive.

Re: Re: Re: Wow this sucks major monkey balls

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Originally posted by Slylee lol very funny moral or ygrene...whichever About the breakup... Nothing really went terribly wrong�no cheating or fighting. He really pushed me to move in with him even though I warned him that it was a major step and he insisted he was ready. So we did and everything was great but then I discovered he likes to watch porn constantly when I�m not home and I confronted him about it and tried to be cool and accepting about it, but he was really shady about it and not willing to just be open with it. I honestly would have rather him just been like a normal pig guy and just been open about the fact that he watches porn. Big fuckin deal right? All of my ex�s have watched it, but he was so sneaky and embarrassed about it, which lead me to believe that he might have had an addiction to it. I honestly tried really hard to work with him and I think he just would rather let me go, than face that problem and me pushing him to talk about it made him withdraw from the relationship, so I told him I was moving out because there was zero communication between us and I said I couldn�t be in a relationship like that, and he didn�t even put up a fight. So we just like ended things. I moved out and on the last day there he just gave me a big hug as I left and that was the last time I saw him. This was last September.

Any guy that puts porn over something he can fuck in real life is kind of sad. I mean, how much fun is it to jerk off to black guys fucking slutty white girls (or 12 year old boys in this case) with parachute pussy lips? He must be a real fucking moron to let that ruin his relationship with you.

It's complete disrespect to you.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee oh and yea, the girls he was watching on the porn looked like 16 years old...kinda bugged me. i started thinking he was a pedophile and all this shit. lol he swore to me that he watched other porn too, which he did, but he REALLY likes the young looking ones, and i realized that's not something that goes away. he's ALWAYS gonna like to look at that shit and the older he gets, the creepier it's going to get, and the more insulting to me it's going to get. right? ughh, i need some fresh air. i'm going for a drive.

jamie you are probably better off NOT entertaining a relationship then. if it bothers you this much and your not dating anymore, then the potential for this to be an even bigger issue if you were to date again. dont play with fire. it normally gets ya. you will be alright. be distant and if necessary dont talk to him at all. this is something you have to stick your ground with.

the porn didn't replace our sexlife. our sexlife was amazing, but it still bothered me. not so much that he watched it, but just because he was so fucking weird and secretive about it. it bugged the shit out of me.

Wow, so many people "addicted" to Internet porn.

i just wish i could be friends with him without missing him romantically, that's what i'm getting at basically. because he was honestly a great friend and i enjoy him so much.

but i dunno i think it's too soon. and he better not be having 2nd thoughts and trying to get me back because i might fall for it.

I dunno...and before I say anything, I'm JUST playing Devil's Advocate here, NOT trying to bust your balls because of our differences.

That being said...it seems REALLY silly of you to give up a person who treats you the way you deserve to be treated, just because YOU can't handle HIS problem (whatever it may be). That's pretty selfish, and NOT what love is about.

Yeah it's probably very taxing on you...but I think it would show great strength of character and maturity if you could learn to accept something like that about a person who clearly loves you.

I just think it's a mistake. So many people search their whole lives for love...lets be real, they want to BE loved more than they want to give it, people are just selfish like that. Anyways, here you HAVE that love...from what I gather, your relationship with Craig really had everything going for it...and you're turning your back on it because you can't deal with it? That's the kind of stuff relationships are built on!

Anyway, yeah not stabbing at you...I just would hate for anyone, yes even YOU, to miss out on that kind of love.

Or maybe I've mis-percieved what your relationship was like..I dunno.

That is all!

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee the porn didn't replace our sexlife. our sexlife was amazing, but it still bothered me. not so much that he watched it, but just because he was so fucking weird and secretive about it. it bugged the shit out of me.

That's not the point, though. He let your relationship dissolve because he was too pussy to be open with the fact that he was a pervert. If he would rather watch this shit than to work out the issues with you, what does that say about his respect for your feelings?

yeah listen to jenny.

and then when you get married and have kids and he molests your 13-16 yr old daughter you can thank her for the sound advice she gave you...

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee he better not be having 2nd thoughts and trying to get me back because i might fall for it.

I'd say that's probably the case.

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Originally posted by Aristronica yeah listen to jenny. and then when you get married and have kids and he molests your 13-16 yr old daughter you can thank her for the sound advice she gave you...

Oh please, I doubt the guy's a molester. Again, I'm only going on what I know of their relationship. If there's more to it..than so be it. I was just throwing it out there as food for thought. She can regard or disregard at her leisure!

no i totally hear you and my mom has said the same thing. she thought i should go to a therapist and get their take on it...like see if i'm the one with the problem.

but i was willing to be ok with it...remember, i said that it just really bugged me that he could just be like open about it. i was really cool in confronting him. i was just like, "listen i dont care if u watch porn, but can u just tone it down a bit and not watch it every single day when i'm at work?" lol

i was honestly being very cool about it..but i dunno in the end it gave me a complex and i was hurt.

just imagine if all of a sudden jenny you discovered that your bf was watching it all day (if he was in school and didn't work, so he was home a lot) while you were at work, and this was TOTAL news to you because he always lead you to think he wasn't that type of guy. it was like a whole other side to him...it caught me off guard.

So did he work at home, then? Or a different time from you?

Or did all of his time without you consist solely of porn?

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Originally posted by Justkillingtime That's not the point, though. He let your relationship dissolve because he was too pussy to be open with the fact that he was a pervert. If he would rather watch this shit than to work out the issues with you, what does that say about his respect for your feelings?

yea that was exactly my thoughts, and why i left him. it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do because i loved him so much and it was crushing me to leave him, but i didn't want to be that stupid chick holding onto a joke of a relationship like that. he was just too immature to communicate about it.

look that's borderline crazy.

i mean a little porn is always good. but if i was living with a girl, and fucking the shit out of her and all that good stuff (you even said you're ok with period sex i believe). i might sneak in a little anal porn on the weekends, and even then probably watch it with her.

i honestly don't think you're the one with a problem, cuz i'm as perverted as they get and it seems strange to me.

quote:

Originally posted by MrJiveBoJingles So did he work at home, then? Or a different time from you? Or did all of his time without you consist solely of porn?

he is in grad school living off student loan money. so he'll have like a couple classes in the morning and be done for the day.

i was working a normal job. and that was another thing. he put up all the money for us to move in and then i was slowly paying him back and i even started working TWO jobs because i was having a difficult time paying him back ON TOP of paying my normal share of the bills. but really, i was just paying for EVERYTHING including the whole rent, because we would just count that as me paying him back.

but when i love someone and i'm with them, what's mine is their's and it was like a roommate situation w/ the finances. that bothered me too.

lol i guess a lot bothered me.

Jamie, the nub of it all is that you and Craig moved way too quickly. The net result was that he recoiled from you in an attempt to retain some semblence of autonomy and you found out things about him you were not comfortable with too quickly for either of you to adjust. Essentially, you had too much familiarity with each other too soon. My advise remains the same, don't rule out a future relationship with Craig but don't jump into one either. Take it slow. Try not to define your relationship going forward by what it was in the past. In time both of you will either demonstrate that he has overcome the character flaws that resulted in your break up or you won't. If you do then you can explore starting anew, if you don't then take comfort in the fact that the two of you simply don't work together.

I didn't read the whole thread, so if someone's already pointed this out, then I'm sorry.

The dude's all of a sudden showing interest in stuff you like and he didn't give a toss about before?
Making you feel all sentimental?
Reminds you of the good ol days?

This is the perfect mind-fuck to get a woman back. Trust me, I've used this shit since I was 14. Works almost every time.

He's manipulating with you. This is not some good side of him that's just accidentally coming out without him being aware of it.

I don't know what happened between you two, or who left who. But I do know, that IT'S A TARP!!

maybe you're both crazy?

/thread.

quote:

Originally posted by Aristronica look that's borderline crazy. i mean a little porn is always good. but if i was living with a girl, and fucking the shit out of her and all that good stuff (you even said you're ok with period sex i believe). i might sneak in a little anal porn on the weekends, and even then probably watch it with her. i honestly don't think you're the one with a problem, cuz i'm as perverted as they get and it seems strange to me.

thank you. and i'm a pretty big pervert myself and it bugged me too.

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee just imagine if all of a sudden jenny you discovered that your bf was watching it all day (if he was in school and didn't work, so he was home a lot) while you were at work, and this was TOTAL news to you because he always lead you to think he wasn't that type of guy. it was like a whole other side to him...it caught me off guard.

Yup for sure, you're 100% right. I HAVE experienced this with my bf, after we got back together. When we were "coming clean" about our escapades during our break up, I found things out that I NEVER thought he would do.

It was hurtful because it went SO against the person I thought he was, and it was totally out of character for him. But then I realized that he still WAS the person I thought he was...and the only real issue was my bruised ego. It stung like a bitch for a while, but boy am I ever glad I got the fuck over that. I look back and it seems so silly...but yeah, I feel proud of myself that I could truly get over something like that.

I think in your case...with the porn, that's clearly a lot different. The implications that has on a relationship are far greater than what happened to me. In your case it's both his AND your problem...so that requires both of you to be on the same page, which I can understand why it would be difficult.

If it really is a problem for him, like any person with an addiction (or whatever, lol)...it puts people on the defensive, and yeah that REALLY fucks up communication.

Anyway...enough of that, lol. Getting a little too in depth here. I'll just stick to my original point that you should perhaps think a little bit more about this situation, and really consider what you need, what you may regret, what you could learn...blahblah. Especially since it DOES sound like you've got some emotions involved here.

quote:

Originally posted by Jansa IT'S A TARP!!

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Originally posted by jennypie Yup for sure, you're 100% right. I HAVE experienced this with my bf, after we got back together. When we were "coming clean" about our escapades during our break up, I found things out that I NEVER thought he would do. It was hurtful because it went SO against the person I thought he was, and it was totally out of character for him. But then I realized that he still WAS the person I thought he was...and the only real issue was my bruised ego. It stung like a bitch for a while, but boy am I ever glad I got the fuck over that. I look back and it seems so silly...but yeah, I feel proud of myself that I could truly get over something like that. I think in your case...with the porn, that's clearly a lot different. The implications that has on a relationship are far greater than what happened to me. In your case it's both his AND your problem...so that requires both of you to be on the same page, which I can understand why it would be difficult. If it really is a problem for him, like any person with an addiction (or whatever, lol)...it puts people on the defensive, and yeah that REALLY fucks up communication. Anyway...enough of that, lol. Getting a little too in depth here. I'll just stick to my original point that you should perhaps think a little bit more about this situation, and really consider what you need, what you may regret, what you could learn...blahblah. Especially since it DOES sound like you've got some emotions involved here.

yea well you both communicated and worked it out.

in my case, i was the only one making the effort to bring it up and work through it. he wasn't. he was too embarrassed or something. like moral said, things happened so quickly. i was so resentful too because i was REALLY skeptical of moving with him...i thought it was too soon and i was scared it would ruin things and make us end, and sure enough, it did.

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