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marriages are bad, mmmkay ?

/Mr. Mackey.

Re: Getting married

quote:

Originally posted by Lira So, I'd like to hear the opinions of all married (and divorced) TAs: When did you get married? How was it? How did it affect the relationship? Is there anything you regret having done?

When: July 16, 2005

How was it: Great... Well, maybe not, it was pissing rain, power went out a couple of times, the venue where we had planned to take our photos did not allow us entry as they were setting up some sort of display (they had overlooked our booking), the air conditioning in the church failed (32 degrees C); however, none of that shit matered... it was still great. Nothing could have ruined that day for me. Anything that could or did go wrong was immediately washed away by my first glimps of Mrs. Hazard at the back of the church and all my nerves were alieviated by the knowledge that she would be my wife.

Affect on Relationship: Well, we had not been cohabitating prior to getting married so that was a pretty big change; however, when I think about it, not much else changed. It all has felt and continues to feel completely natural, like this is how it has always been, will always be, and was intended. We still do all the things we did before both together and independent. I suppose if anything has changed it is this alone; we have an even richer love and appreciation of eachother.

Regrets: The only thing I regret is doing two hollywood lines of blow 10 minutes before our first dance.... there is not one good picture of that dance, as I was doing this face for the whole thing.

I posted this on HA a while ago:

I think marriage means a lot to people who understand and appreciate what REAL love is. It's obvious from looking at divorce rates that a lot of people have no clue what that means.

Personally, I think that marriage is a declaration to your partner, and everyone else, that you understand what it means to truly love somebody. That you've chosen this person as your team-mate for all the ups and downs of the rest of your life, and that nobody else could ever possibly come close to filling their shoes.

If you really do love somebody, it doesn't matter when you get married (edit: or if you get married at all) because the commitment will always exist. However, marriage (to me) is the ultimate symbol of that commitment.



And:

I don't think marriage has anything to do with religion. For some people yeah, but definitely not for me.

I also don't think it's meant to change the relationship, or meant to be the crutch that people rely on to stay committed. If those are a person's reasons for getting married, they're doomed, imo.


People these days don't even know how to have relationships with their friends, with their neighbours, with the guy they pass on the street everyday. I don't understand what makes them think they could ever make a marriage work.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie People these days don't even know how to have relationships with their friends, with their neighbours, with the guy they pass on the street everyday. I don't understand what makes them think they could ever make a marriage work.

That's so true. We have great neighbours at this current place, we have 2 to one side, and 4 to another (skipping by one house) plus 1 across the road who will always talk and you can be talking for ages nowadays, it's nicer than my old one where only 3 lots talked & the ones either side of us looked at us like we were a piece of shit & turned their back. Incidentally, both lots were divorced

I do believe in marriage, I've seen some really strong ones, some young, some old, from my grandparents who were together from aged 19 and 21 until he died at 63 and she's still in love with him 12 years later, to young ones which have lasted a long time comparitavely. I know one girl however who wanted to date me once but i thought she was a nut. now aged 23, she's twice divorced with a kid and re-married for a 3rd time, one of them happened after she'd been dating him for 3 weeks. it just seems wrong but she seems to need someone no matter how poor a choice. I think one day if I find my soulmate I'll marry her, but it'll be because she's the one for me. if it takes a long time then im willing to wait, if it never comes then sobeit, but i'll do it when someone wants me to make a commitment to them and vice versa. It won't be religious, I don't do that shit, it'll just 'be'

quote:

Originally posted by Ian That's so true. We have great neighbours at this current place, we have 2 to one side, and 4 to another (skipping by one house) plus 1 across the road who will always talk and you can be talking for ages nowadays, it's nicer than my old one where only 3 lots talked & the ones either side of us looked at us like we were a piece of shit & turned their back. Incidentally, both lots were divorced

I have a thread idea!

quote:

Originally posted by Sushipunk Or you could find somebody you really 'Gold'dig Ian, and save yourself the hassle of all that Keep meaning to get your MSN too.

Fixed

quote:

Originally posted by enferno i enjoyed my married life more than my single life. then again, i dated the girl for 5 years, moved away for college, moved back 6 years later, then a year after that dated her for 2 more and got married for 2. then she divorced me and is still withholding a reason. all in all, i say go for it.

could it have been the intarweb noodz you keep collecting?

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I have a thread idea!

*waits in intrepidation*

wait, is that even a word? When the most intellectual member of your household is the puppy, you kinda lose conversation abilites.

I've been married since October 8, 2005. I was 21. Two months later, she decided she wanted a divorce and left me for three months. I had all the paperwork prepared. Then she came back and we threw it out. A year of healing later and trust issues notwithstanding, I've discovered that my wife is a generally discontent and unhappy person who is never sure if she wants to be with me or not.

I say go for it... marriage is a beautiful thing.

quote:

Originally posted by david.michael I've been married since October 8, 2005. I was 21. Two months later, she decided she wanted a divorce and left me for three months. I had all the paperwork prepared. Then she came back and we threw it out. A year of healing later and trust issues notwithstanding, I've discovered that my wife is a generally discontent and unhappy person who is never sure if she wants to be with me or not. I say go for it... marriage is a beautiful thing.

sounds like a healthy wholesome relationship.......

Re: Getting married

quote:

Originally posted by Lira we both think I'm not ready yet for taking this next step. For example, I'm probably going to live in Japan for a year in September,

she's afraid you'll be a kid in the candy store with all those japanese women

this is what marriage is like

Welp, speaking of marriages, my friends are getting married tomorrow. I bought the cutest outfit!!

i don't really know how i feel about marriage. i think it's sort of a crock and people forget what love is really about these days...but i can definitely see myself planning a nice big wedding, but just for the simple fact that i love to host and entertain, so obviously a wedding would be like the ultimate party i'd plan in my life.

but i don't have enough friends anyway for a big wedding. oh yea and i dont have a man either

Lira, if you would like, you and I can get married for a little while so you can see if you might like it or not. Then we can get a divorce so you can marry your girlfriend. I already talked to my wife and she is ok with it.

The offer is on the table.

quote:

Originally posted by Ygrene Lira, if you would like, you and I can get married for a little while so you can see if you might like it or not. Then we can get a divorce so you can marry your girlfriend. I already talked to my wife and she is ok with it. The offer is on the table.

quote:

Originally posted by fitom tiel She can talk the talk, but can she dance the Hammerzeit?

i LOL'd.

quote:

Originally posted by Moral Hazard The only thing I regret is doing two hollywood lines of blow 10 minutes before our first dance.... there is not one good picture of that dance, as I was doing this face for the whole thing.

i LOL'd again.

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie I think marriage means a lot to people who understand and appreciate what REAL love is.

this statement is just asking for a "pls explain".

love can be an illusion, especially for those who are seeking love from others when in reality they need to love themselves first. I digress, back on topic.

Marriage does change your life to some degree. However, having kids will change it even more. I jumped in with both feet at 26. I went from single to married with two stepdaughters in a span of four months.

If you don't have kids, then it's difficult to understand. It is simply amazing how much time and attention another human being requires. That's the best way to sum it up. That's not a complaint - just a fact.

Having someone totally dependent on YOU is something you have to experience to truly appreciate.

I know the OP was talking marriage not family, but the two usually follow one another eventually.

quote:

Originally posted by eRRaTiK this statement is just asking for a "pls explain". love can be an illusion, especially for those who are seeking love from others when in reality they need to love themselves first. I digress, back on topic.

Yeah exactly. There's a lot more to it, but I don't really care to get into a "what is love" discussion.

baby don't hurt me

quote:

Originally posted by jennypie ..."what is love"...

"Baby don't hurt me, baby don't hurt me.....no more."


The only thing I have not liked about marriage is the sneaking suspicion in the back of my mind that my father-in-law secretly wants to impale me with a trident. I just can't shake it.

EDIT:

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee baby don't hurt me

*shakes fist*

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee baby don't hurt me

dam you beat me to it.

People feel the need to just follow some sort of understood order in life, and that�s the problem with people these days and the reason for the high divorce rate. No one has a clue what love is and people are so ready to just give up on their partners the minute there�s trouble in paradise, but what they don�t realize is that �paradise� is the honeymoon phase, which is the farthest thing from true love. You have to make the active decision to continue loving someone. It has to be a choice you make and effort is involved. Everyone thinks that the honeymoon phase is when you�re really in love, but that�s completely false. In the �honeymoon phase�, all of your actions are dictated by raging hormones that are pretty much out of your control.

Same thing with having kids. Idiots in a marriage they aren�t even truly happy in just having kids because�welp, it�s the next thing married couples do.

not entirely true. that presupposes that its natural to be locked into a relationship with someone for the rest of your life. why is it expected you date a bunch of ppl and then bingo death until you part. hell i love my mom and pop but i wouldn't want to have to live with them for the rest of my life. so yeah whats love got to do with it?

Lira: Turner & Turner copycat.

quote:

Originally posted by igottaknow ...whats love got to do with it?

...,got to do with it
What's love but a second hand emotion

EDIT:

I WIN THIS ROUND JAMIE!!!

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