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-- Moments that have shaped your "current self"
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Being only 21, I don't think there have been MAJOR incidents that have come across my way to specifically define me as a person. I think those things will happen more gradually as I live, learn and love more.
Now, with saying that I still think there are moments in life that have helped me grow and become the person I would like to be in life.
1998-Ice storm & passing of my grandmother
This year was both tragic for our area, surrounding areas and in my life. I always had a pretty perfect life growing up. I had money, love, the best friends ever and a mom who to me is God. I grew up thinking at a young age everything lasts forever, which is ironic because the two most important people who are supposed to be in your life forever, ie- mom & dad, seperated before I could talk. Anyway, my grandmother was a saint. Everyone loved her, she had a kind heart and lived a really good life, I thought she was unbreakable. One tragic night she slipped in her washroom and hit her head on the sink and fell into a coma. I knew what a coma was but I always heard of people getting out of them as welll, so while I was sad and worried, I knew she'd get out of it. I was wrong. a few days later she passed on and I thought all I grew to know was wrong. SO I smartened up, stopped living in my so called " perfect bubble " and grew up fast from that point on. Oh and the ice storm just covered everywhere in ice for weeks. was kinda cool but dystroyed a lot of land.
2003-losing my bestfriend from the age of 2-3? to a drunk driver
I told this story to a few people, and they've all been left speechless. Being the second person I lost I was devistated. Her and her boyfriend were driving to see my championship soccer game and her hit by some idiot too stupid to not drive while intoxicated. Anyway, the crash was really bad, her boyfriend got out ok, but couldn't get my friend out, so when paramedics arivied they got her out, into the ambulance and away they went. At the hospital they said she lost a lot of blood and needed a kidney transplant. Being her bestfriend I was like, " Ya, I'll do it ". As I was being prepped for surgery, she died. Totally put me in shock for about a month. No way I just lost my bestfriend , right? I just learned to be more, carefree in life, not take things so seriously because I knew aty any moment my time could come and I wouldn't even have done all the things I wanted to accomplish because I was being too busy worrying in life.
2003-Meeting my dad for the first time
I realized that some people are far better off with one amazing parent rather than 1 monster and 1 wonderful parent. My mom gave me the best life evar, far better then half of what my father could have done for me. It made me want to be nothing like my dad and made me appreciate my mom 10x more, though I appreciated her a whooooooooooole lot prior to that. My mom used to say to me when I was younger, " ARRGHHH, you're just like your father with that attitude" and now I don't think I ever have attitude towards her because the last thing I want to do is turn out like my dad or remind my mom of him.
2003-Moving to Toronto from Montreal
Showed me new things in life, new peoplem great ideas, oppertunities
, skills and most importantly a different point of view on life. I've met some of the most amazing people here ( and ya a few that come from TA ,,,Jennypie, you know funkyCrew off TOTA..) Anyway coming here has opened my eyes alot and I've accomplished a hell of a lot being here. My dancing, my internships, University, my job. If I would have stayed back home I probably would be working at the local couche-tard and had 2 kid living in a run down shack with no high school diploma. Another reason why I love my mom, she made me move because she knew it would change my life.
[2007]-LA
I am fially with an agency that I'm signed with to do choreography, dancing and other tidbit stuff. Major step up in my life. Go me. I've been working on this for about 2-4 years, so the fact that I made it this far has proved to me that hard work, determination, blowing off the hater and non-believer, and will gets you where you want.
I don't even think I've written this much for a review thread. I's sorry!
1) Watching a baseball game in Baltimore. Upon seeing my first baseball game at a really terrific baseball park back in October 1999, I've been hell bent on visiting all 30 MLB parks ever since.
2) Posting on this site: I've met and made a lot of friendships through this site.
I'm sure there are more, but I've posted the ones I can think off the top of my head
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| Originally posted by verndogs 1) Watching a baseball game in Baltimore. Upon seeing my first baseball game at a really terrific baseball park back in October 1999, I've been hell bent on visiting all 30 MLB parks ever since. |
The one singular moment that shaped my current life was when I came over to the US to study. I felt like I was thrown into the water without a life jacket. Completely cut off from the family, left to fend for myself, work part time (which I had never done before), study (to earn an assistantship based on performance), adapt to a new life, new culture...it was a very difficult experience. I was forced to adapt very fast to some very drastic changes in my life.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Omega_M The one singular moment that shaped my current life was when I came over to the US to study. I felt like I was thrown into the water without a life jacket. Completely cut off from the family, left to fend for myself, work part time (which I had never done before), study (to earn an assistantship based on performance), adapt to a new life, new culture...it was a very difficult experience. I was forced to adapt very fast to some very drastic changes in my life. |
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| Originally posted by Subey How is this going? |
Stephen Hawking's The Universe DVD set, which I checked out from the library in, say, 2004.
From there, i dropped everything that was trivial in my life(Hard House/Gabber, Warez ring, Attaining a handgun, etc) and got hard to work on math+science studies.
And now, all i know............is the unknown.
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| Originally posted by Ian when did that happen ? |
hm. many things changed me. no time for life story here...
1. I guess being a sick kid, growing up among some of the most vicious antisemites on this planet. Taking judo when I turned 8 and then subsequently at the age of 13 beating the crap out of most of them, sending one to the hospital with a concussion, 2 broken ribs, broken jaw.. sprained wrist... and groin injury. oops.. I guess calling me a "kike" for 3 years and then fighting me with his friends for who knows how long, then spitting in my face didn't go over very well at the time (Colonel Crisp, hope you're taking notes).
2. Immigrating to US shortly thereafter and in transit living by the sea in Italy for 4 months - changed me forever. Made me appreciate italian culture and language and history. it's a country I want to move back to and be burried in.
3. Discovering Depeche Mode, the Cure, "New Wave music" around 15 - 16. It made me a junkie for all that's electronic. I will never forget listening to The Cure - Disintegration album or U2-Joshua Tree on my way home from the camp. Seeing nothing but blue sky, clouds, mountains, lakes... It left a biiiiiig imprint on my memory.
4. Crucial point - getting a computer as a present when I turned 15 and trying to make it work, upgrading it, working with DOS, Windows, etc. My best friend who taught me many things back then and my dad who bought my first computer defined what I'll be many years later on. No surprise I got into IT/networking career without any formal college degree or education.
5. Getting a first "office" job at the age of 19, making more money than many of my peers
6. Meeting and letting go the person who I know was my soulmate. Even though we're still friends and do talk everyonce in a while, the place she occupied is still empty. Irony of life....
7. Losing my father to doctors who didn't give a crap about sick immigrant with lousy public assistance insurance. A so-called "doctor" who sent a very sick person to a minimum-observation area instead of ICU, thus essentially signing his death warrant.
8. Discovering EDM and associated culture. Losing myself in music, becoming obsessed with it, living in sounds. Every period of my life is punctuated with certain music, scents, memories. I try to re-wind to that point in my life by listening, smelling, remembering. Very surreal experience.
9. not the least, but most important - My immediate family. I have a 1/2 brother 1/2 sister but even together they don't compose a whole being. One is a religous nut, another one is a depressed shop-a-holic addicted to drama, conflict, and debt. Completely dysfunctional in every way. Realizing that I got nothing but emptiness towards my siblings was a very sobering moment in my life and definitely makes me feel rather alone.
ugh. this thread definitely stirred up some serious emotions
This thread is a good measure of how bland my life has been.. i can't think of anything that truly changed me in a positive way. I even feel like in the past 5 years (since i've moved from highschool to university), i've barely evolved anything as an human being.
| quote: |
| Originally posted by noikeee This thread is a good measure of how bland my life has been.. i can't think of anything that truly changed me in a positive way. I even feel like in the past 5 years (since i've moved from highschool to university), i've barely evolved anything as an human being. |
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| Originally posted by verndogs http://www.flickr.com/photos/verndogs/sets/931011/ - my baby |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by Subey Sounds like a fun way to get you around the country. I really the look of the skyline in the St. Louis stadium, will have to see a game there. |
lots of little shit here and there that needn't be mentioned.. obviously moving from korea.. who knows what i'd be doing if i were still there. would i be on ta? lol
three major events musically helped me become who i am today (as a musician)- picking up the guitar when i was 13, playing the drums in high school, and deciding to buy decks when i was.. 19? 20? without the guitar and drums, i wouldn't have the ear i have today for DJing..
and the reason i bought decks- first time seeing ferry corsten + pills. sounds absolutely immature and ridiculous that it took drugs to motivate me, but uhhh.. whatev i guess. PLUR!
but i'd have to say moving out of the small city i grew up in and going to a big four year school was a huge milestone for my life. i went to a 2 year school directly after high school and worked fulltime.. then at the last minute, decided to transfer after my associate's to UW-milwaukee. Not so much because of the school, but because of the social contacts and events that have happened in my life since moving. I met a whole slew of great new friends (though i had to give up my old ones back home), good paying job, school, and started to finally get gigs. i'm also in the most debt i've ever been in before in my life too, sooo.. it goes both ways.
on a sidenote, it's kinda funny- living back in the quiet, tiny city was... comfortable. no debt, easy living, just drugs, work, occasional school.. but no growth. no risks either. i knew i wasn't going to amount to shit staying home. the friends i had- best friends ever, but they weren't doing a damn thing either. i've learned and grown so much as a person literally within the last 11 months (almost a year!) it's all been pretty unreal to me. insignificant i guess, but... i dunno.
also, meeting the MWTA's has been great, though once again i probably would've never met them had i not moved. some of the best friends i have since moving to milwaukee are TAs.. fucking internet dorks <3
Lira, what an awesome thread - and i love reading everyones responses. mine may be a re-hash - maybe not; we'll see.
1. Growing up poor
Nothing really teaches you the value of dollar than growing up w/out all the newest and hippest things. having to see your parents make a decision: "do we eat dinner tonight? or fix the furnace again?" the house i grew up in had so many problems with it, it made me realize that life ISN'T easy - no matter where you live. but when you don't have money, it makes you realize how much harder it really is. ever since i've been a kid, i've always appreciated the value of a dollar - and have let money not ruin my life. and has made me make the conscience decision to make sure that i'm fully set in life before i even think to have offspring.
2. Going to Germany [2001] (and back again 2003
Graduated from high school and participated in an exchange program where i lived in germany for the summer before i went to college. it was THE single best vacation i've ever taken in my life. i had the most fun i've ever had, learned so much about another culture, and gave me total international perspective - and the perspective of what its like to come into a country and not really know the language all that well (i took german in high school, but nothing prepares you for being full immersed into it).
3. Moving out on my own [2004].
The summer of 2004 was an extremely crazy one. my best friends' mom died, my parents moved to wisconsin and sold that shit hole house we lived in for 17 years. i moved out (when they went to wisco, i took all my shit to iowa). i went to field training (boot camp for officers). Upon graduation of field training, i flew from florida to chicago - drove up to wisconsin, then the next night drove back to illinois to pick up my stuff from a storage unit, then drove to iowa, moved in, and classes started the next day. But i had all my stuff (what little i had); and was FINALLY out on my own (living w/ one of my best friends from college too). Finally had the responsibility of paying rent and other bills.
4. Commissioning into the Air Force and moving to Louisiana
as you all may know, the first year of my AF career was pretty crazy. i lived in 3 different states, drove over 2000 miles to get there; and moved in and bought my very own house. But while in that first year, i was living in biloxi, ms which was completely removed from the face of the planet by hurricane katrina. it was a horrible 3 months seeing death and destruction by the force of nature all around me. it reminded me of hurricane andrew, and seeing family members affected by that. i've never cried so much in my life, than i did when i was down there.
5. Losing half of my family and paying for my mother's divorce.
My mother has the worst luck in the world (now i know where i get it from). after having a botched hysterectomy, she could no longer work and in pain 24/7. moved back to illinois after my father's job got shat on. then after moving into a smaller place, and in a worse and more poor neighborhood, my father decided to leave her. so here she is, applying for social security/disability, can't work, and going through a divorce. and my father left her the day after i did when i up and moved to the south w/ the military. after 25 years of marriage, he did this to her right before her 50th bday too. ass. so without any means of making money, i've been paying for her lawyer and random bills that my father has decided not to pay. when the divorce is finalized, we have talked about her moving down here to live with me, simply because she's got no where else to go. and as far as my father is concerned, i haven't spoken w/ him in about 4 months now.
so now, do i realize the value of a dollar and culture; these moments have definitely made me realize that 1) i'm not having kids until i can afford them; and 2) when i get married, i will obey the "in sickness and in health" statement.
reading this thread.
meh, more like the internet, in general, over the past hour.
Oh ya, one more incident deserves a mention.
My grandfather who had lived in our house for all my 22 years, died the night before one of my engineering semester finals. I knew I couldn't handle the exam if I stayed home. So I left my house and went to the school that very night. Somehow I managed to clear my head of all the emo thoughts, studied for the exam, wrote the paper and returned home to a mourning family. Thankfully that was my last paper. Later when the results came in, I found out that I had done pretty well in that paper. That day I realized that if I could handle shit like this, I could handle pretty much anything life throws at me.
i will spare you the details of my life (TMI), just some lessons learned:
on the cover of the hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy it says "don't panic"- no matter what happens, remain calm
allowing your emotions to control you almost always ends in regret.
life has some trully wonderful and precious things in it- remember this, look for and nurture them or you will drown in the swamp of all the bad.
meditate, reflect, and improve yourself.
don't get caught up in regret- that goes nowhere but down. the big things haunt you, just accept them and forgive yourself.
you can never run away from yourself, no matter how hard you try.
be prepared and always have a backup- getting caught short sucks and can usually be prevented.
sleep the night over big decisions- you'll give your brain time to think about it and have a much better perspective in the morning.
plan for the future- both financially and emotionally. money pays the bills and family & friends (and pets) make it worth it.
be independent and rely on yourself, there will be times that is all you have.
be patient, all great things take time.
you only have this body for the rest of your life- take care of it.
be here now- plan for the future, remember the past, and live in the now.
ok, i'm starting to write a book here, so i'll stop.
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| Originally posted by tubularbills i love reading everyones responses. |
) of the replies. I have actually read this thread thoroughly, and I'm quite moved...
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| Originally posted by Lira So do I. I actually tried to quote and comment on what people said, but I was overwhelmed by the depth (and amount ) of the replies. I have actually read this thread thoroughly, and I'm quite moved... |
| quote: |
| Originally posted by dj tek thought provoking thread deserves thought provoking replies. |
I found this thread rather fascinating, too. I suppose to be fair I should contribute a few as well...
1. Starting public school in the U.S. (1989)
This is the point at which I truly realized how different I am than ordinary people. Before going to school, I hadn't associated with many people outside my immediate family and their closest acquaintences, almost all of whom were vastly more intelligent than the average person. So it was quite a shock when I started going to school and realized the actual standard of what was "average." This experience instilled me with a tremendous amount of confidence in my own abilities.
2. My time with my ex-girlfriend, and her death (2001-2003)
It's still difficult for me to even write about this. She was my whole world. Before I met her, I was without purpose. She gave me that purpose, she was the justification for each one of my dreams and ambitions. And then, suddenly, she was dead. Killed in an automobile accident. Time stopped for me that day. Since then I haven't had another relationship. And even now, I haven't the slightest desire to pursue one. My dreams died with her, and for a long time I could not imagine any purpose for myself which would not seem a disgraceful substitute. But eventually, I realized that to do honor to her memory was purpose enough itself.
3. Visiting Africa (2005)
The one thing which stuck me most profoundly during my brief stint of volunteer work in Africa was the people: particularly, that they seemed generally happier than people in America. Any sort of materialistic attitude I might have had was utterly destroyed by the experience, and I believe it's given me great insight into the larger picture of the human condition, which has allowed me to move forward with some of my plans.
1. Breaking up with a b/f that I had been dating for about 4 years. I thought that he was it and I was going to spend the rest of my life with him. THANK GOD I didn't. Made me realise that I am a strong person and I deserve to be treated right (he didnt treat me very good).
2. Backpacking in Europe in 2000 and Going to Germany to study abroad for one year (2003-4). Best times of my life.
3. Getting over someone that you love, that doesn't feel the same about you. It took me a really long time to get over that relationship (different one from above).
4. Getting married.
Finally understanding my mother, she sent me away when I was 5 to go live in a country thousands of kilometres away with someone I'd never met and for the majority of my early life and teenage years I resented her greatly for it and didn't understand why she had to give me up to live with my grandmother. There would have been no opportunities of a career, education or even citizenship under that political system of apartheid and even less of a chance to actually grow up comparatively well adjusted.
So, when I gave up my career at the time which was going well to look after her dying I finally got to meet her for more than a few weeks at a time and there wasn't anyone else to do it. She wasn't nearly as bad a person as I had perceived her to be up until that point and realised that if nothing else she'd given me a mix of self reliance, independence and practical ability to judge things for my own benefit.
There's been times where things where fairly grim, losing her farm in Zimbabwe, a failed marriage, risking all I owned to make money, most of my immediate family and close relatives are dead, numerous other setbacks I've seen lay out the supposedly 'clever and stronger' people than myself into complete ruin.
And somehow, it doesn't seem to phase me and I end up on my feet or a few steps better off in life than I was before.
There's certain parts of her personality I don't have, charity, compassion and sense of adventure just for the sake of doing it so the world is a better place. I often derided her over wasting a career as a surgeon fixing up sick people in backwater countries for chump change for a few months a year, but it's probably something I shouldn't see as a professional failing. Indeed, my aggression, cold hearted and conservative way of living was sometimes to spite her in a lot of ways as being her diametric opposite.
Somehow I doubt I'll ever really change as a 'better' person out of guilt but it's made me in a lot of ways who I am and I don't see them as personal failings, just an aspect of how I ended up how I am.
-watching my dad try to strangle my pet dog when i was six.
-being forced to listen to my dad have sex with my mom or some shit with my mom when i was seven or eight. i used to cry in my sleep and break out in hot sweats. my parents told me it was because i drank too much 7up on night at a party. what fucken idiots.
-waking up and seeing my dad fondling me when i thirteen.
-watching my dad cry because my mom had cheated on him.
fucked up, but some people have had it worse. why be open? it's not like anyone knows me personally anyway or ever will. one day i will go, and all that will remain as a reminder of who i am will be these words.
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