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-- LOLCat Bible Translation Project
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| Noo Roolz - Teh Ten Commanders U can haz. U can haz. 1 Then Ceiling Cat spoked all them werds: 2 I iz Ceiling Cat An I iz Top Cat, An I broughted u out of hawt lend wit no cheezbrgrs for hard werk at all 3 No can has other ceiling cat!! U gotz other Ceiling Cat, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes. 4 If u try be Ceiling Cat of any of mai creayshunz up in floaty skai, down in erth or in watr or I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes.5 If u think faek Ceiling Cat iz Ceiling Cat, I mek u ded An ur kittens ded An if yur kittenz have kittenz, dey be ded too, for being stupid.6 If not I wuv u An all ur lotz uf kittenz! 7 U sez Ceiling Cat bad, I shoot yous wit mah lazer eyes, cuz I dun liek it. Srsly. 8 Remembur caturday An keep holy.9 U werk 6 dais An finish werk, K?10 Caturday, u no werk. U An all ur peepz go wrship me. And, if yu beez gudd, I maks it so yu can stays home and do alla stuffs yu wanted tu doos.11 I maded heavenz An erth An see An the stuff that does teh funney hoppey stuffz in An on it - so I make it holy cuz I no werk. 12 Bez u good to papa An mama so u has long lief. 13 U no maek peepz ded! Srsly! 14 U no maek sexxes wit other gurlz or menz than ur wief (so no awsum treesum alowed!). 15 U no taek stuffs for free if not getz for free. 16 U no tell bad stuff about ur neibor. 17 U no wantz neibor stuff! No wief, no gurlz, no menz, no animulz, NO BUKKITZ! DEY NOT UR BUKKITZ, K? dey da LOLrus' bukkits. 18 When peepz see mai great orkestr wit thundr An all cool speshul effects thei wur scardy wimps 19 Thei sed to Moses 'U goez speek to uz An we will listen; but Ceiling Cat will shoot us wit its lazer eyes!' 20 Moses LOL'd lotz, An a bit moar, for thei wuz such wimps, An sed 'Ceiling Cat no maek u ded; he just wantz to hav fun wit u gais An maek u scaredy cats so u obei him.' 21 But peepz wur still wimps An let Moses go ther to Ceiling Cat. [edit] Ceiling Cat roolz for idles an alters 22 Ceiling Cat sez "Tellz them wimpies: 'U see I spoked to u from big ceilingz.23 U no mek me of silvar or goldz. 24 U mek me altar of erth An gif me pwnz0rzed animulz ther An I gif u cheezburgr.25 But u no maek me altar of bjutiful stonez. DO NOT WANT!26 An u no use steps on altar or I can see ur penises. DO NOT WANT!" |
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| Originally posted by RJT Fucking slowly.  And just to throw it out there before someone figures it out (if anyone hasn't yet), I basically have nothing but time on my hands and absolutely no friends or money with which to do anything in the city where I live these days. Hence the absurd amount of shit spewing from me into c0r as of late. I don't like it any better than any of you do.  |
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| Revelation 16 Ceiling Cat putz hiz angries in sebben bowllz 1 Den some d00d shouted to teh sevn hovr d00dz, "Dump out Ceiling Cat's watr bowl on teh urfs!" Oh noes!! "It is fulled of raeg insted of watr." O, ai was maded scared for moment.2 The frst hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl n teh peopl who had teh mark of teh monstar gotted sorez all ovr gross!!!! n tey worshipt teh image of teh monstar. 3 Teh secnd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl in teh oshun, n teh oshun turnded into blood n all teh fishiez died. No moar fishiez. 4 Teh thrd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl in teh rivrz, n dem turnded into blood.5 Den teh boss hovr d00d sez: "Dat wuz teh rite fing to do, Ceiling Cat.6 Bcz dem killded ur saintz n profetz. So u gived dem blood to drink. Dey had it comin." 7 N teh altar sed "Yes, Ceiling Cat, u did teh rite ting." 8 Teh fourt hover d00d dumpted out hiz bowl on teh sun, n teh sun burnded peoplz up wif fier!9 It hurted tehm n dey cursted teh Ceiling Cat, but dem did not say "sorri u r00l" evn doe he cud stop teh bad stuffz. 10 Teh fifd hovr d00d dumpted out hiz bowl on teh monstar's chair n turnded out teh lietz in hims kingdm. Peopl chewded on dem tungz11 n cursted Ceiling Cat bcz it hurted so much, but dem still wudnt say "sorri." 12 Teh sixd hovr d00d dumpted his bowl out on teh Euphrates rivr, n teh watr all dreid up so teh kingz cud coem from teh east.13 Den I seed tree durdy frogz. Realli dem wuz demonz dough. Srsly. Dem comed out of teh mouf of teh dragn, teh mouf of teh monstar, and teh mouf of teh falls proffet.14 Dem maded sum haxx n dey getted togeddr all teh kingz in teh hole world to fiet on Ceiling Cat's big dai. 15 "Haha lookz, Iz sneaky liek a robber! If u stai awake n dont get nekkid u getz cheezburgr! Dont get nekkid, datz nasty." 16 Dem taked all teh kingz to Armageddon. (datz Hebrew u knowz) 17 Teh sevunt hovr d00d dumpted out his bowl in teh air, n some d00d in teh tempel sez "All donez now!"18 Dere wuz lietningz n thundr n teh biggist urfkweik evr! OMG!19 Teh big city browk into tree partz, n all teh oddr citiez falled down. Ceiling Cat remembrd Babylon n gived her a bowl full of wien, only it wuz realli hiz angerz.20 Evry ailand runned away. Teh mountenz did too.21 Hail felled n it wuz 100 poundz each! It hitted some d00dz n they wuz liek "Ceiling Cat u suck!" |
Oh Ceiling Cat!
Re: LOLCat Bible Translation Project
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| Originally posted by RJT http://www.lolcatbible.com/ This is the epitome of someone with too much time on their hands, but it's fun to waste a few minutes reading. And the fact that they made Ceiling Cat into God really made that whole situation (the Ceiling Cat situation, that is) funny to me for the first time. So yeah, I'm not sure whether I find this all that funny or not, but it's novelty and time-wasting potential certainly deemed it worthy of a thread in c0r.  |
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| Originally posted by Dervish |
John 11:35 (translation from "Jesus wept")
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| Jebus crieded. Not jus litle teers, no. he crieded big teers. Cuz Lolrus was ded an stufs an everywun luved him, even Jebus. Jebus trieded to wipe teers awai wit his pawz but teh teers kept comin an comin and everywun saweded that as dey were emo too. Everywun was emo. Yeh. Srsly. U has an emo too! It's okai, cryin is okay. Everywun can criez. Jebus wepted. |
Genisis 2
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| 1 An teh skyz an teh Urfs wur finishd, an al teh stufz in dem, an Ceiling Cat was liek al tired an stuf. 2 An on teh 7f day Ceiling Cat got dun makingks al dat stuf; an he restd on teh 7f day cuz he wuz pooped fum al dat wrking an not liek havng imself ulone. An he not get payd ovrtym eiver.3 Ceiling Cat blesd teh 7f day, an sed itz teh h0liez0rz; cuz dats when he restd fum all his werk wich Ceiling Cat creatd an maed. Yay holy Caturday!... 15 An Ceiling Cat took teh man, an put im ntew teh gardun ov eden tew takez cares ofs it cuz Ceiling Cat wuz stil poopd and wantedz anotr day off.16 An Ceiling Cat sed to teh man, ov evury tre in teh gardin iz ok u eatz:17 But of teh tre of teh nawlej of gud an evl, you not eatz cuz wen u eatz taht tre i fur sure mek u ded. Srsly. 18 An Ceiling Cat sed, teh man is alown an dat iz bad; he needz frendz so i wil maek him a gud help fo him. (i iz gud at stuf liek taht. srsly. An it will keepz him outta trubbel.) |
Ahh shit. Ai tearzded. Srsly.
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| Originally posted by RJT Fucking slowly. And just to throw it out there before someone figures it out (if anyone hasn't yet), I basically have nothing but time on my hands and absolutely no friends or money with which to do anything in the city where I live these days. Hence the absurd amount of shit spewing from me into c0r as of late. I don't like it any better than any of you do. |
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| Originally posted by Pokit John 11:35 (translation from "Jesus wept") |
Who comes up with that?| quote: |
| Teh Ceiling Cat of us, whu haz cheezeburger, yu be spechul Yu ordered cheezburgerz, Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly. In ceiling and on teh flor. Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger. And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie, but eateding it. And we furgiv wen cats steel our cookiez. An do not let us leed into teh showa, but deliver us from teh wawter. Ceiling Cat pwns all. He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too. Forevur and evuhr. Amen. |
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