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Posted by Darkarbiter on May-20-2008 03:34:

So does casual spooning still make you a whore?


Posted by Arbiter on May-20-2008 03:36:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
- I don't like being hugged or touched by my mother, sister or any other family members. Nobody. I always push them away. Always. Not even my little baby cousin, even though he's like 3 or 4 (don't know) and always calls my name when I pass him.

- When female acquaintances try to hug me, I never open my arms, I just stay still until they stop. Expression is still: =|

- Even girls I like don't elicit much reaction when they hug me. Weird thing is, when they're really emotional (happy or sad) that makes me not like it. It has to be nonchalant for me to even tolerate it. Sometimes I wonder if it's not the girl I like, but just her looks.


That sounds like my brother. The rest either doesn't or I would not know.

Personally I went without any physical contact other than the odd work-related handshake for almost two years and it bothered me a bit at times, but I certainly didn't feel like I was missing out on a "need." Of course being surrounded exclusively by people I hated probably overshadowed the ancillary effect of not having much physical contact with anyone.


Posted by RapidFire on May-20-2008 03:50:

its that feeling of acceptance.


Posted by gehzumteufel on May-20-2008 03:58:

quote:
Originally posted by Arbiter
Of course being surrounded exclusively by people I hated probably overshadowed the ancillary effect of not having much physical contact with anyone.

This would be the largest purveyor of why you wouldn't care about physical contact with them. You choose not to associate or interact with people you are not forced, nor required to do so with.

Akridot: Is this a fair representation of your family? From your post it sure seems like it.


Posted by mezzir on May-20-2008 04:15:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
This would be the largest purveyor of why you wouldn't care about physical contact with them. You choose not to associate or interact with people you are not forced, nor required to do so with.

Akridot: Is this a fair representation of your family? From your post it sure seems like it.

OMFG!
the lil blue guy in the bottom of the picture!
a while ago my friend was in town and we were chillin at his mom's place, anyways we were in the kitchen, both really fucking tired from work and just spacing out. I look over and there's a fridge magnet, its a tall rectangle with an oval cut out of it, so you can put it over a picture of someone. the magnet was from wholefoods or something, and it said 'i'm organically grown!' and it had some picture of one of the kids of the house in it. for no apparent reason i walked over to his computer, and google image searched 'robot' and found a picture of a robot that looked just like that, looking straight forwards. i printed it out, and put it in the frame. i know its not that funny, but it still cracks me up to this day


Posted by Akridrot on May-20-2008 04:17:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
This would be the largest purveyor of why you wouldn't care about physical contact with them. You choose not to associate or interact with people you are not forced, nor required to do so with.

Akridot: Is this a fair representation of your family? From your post it sure seems like it.


I never said that they were like me, no one in my family or circle of 'friends' is like me. That image really doesn't make any sense right now. I don't see them as robots either, if that's what you're getting at.


Posted by gehzumteufel on May-20-2008 04:34:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
I never said that they were like me, no one in my family or circle of 'friends' is like me. That image really doesn't make any sense right now. I don't see them as robots either, if that's what you're getting at.

I am not saying you ever said or implied they were like that. I was merely asking a question based on your response to the op's question. In light of this new information though, I really wonder what transpired for you to have evolved into this personality that has an ocd-like hate for touch in almost any way, shape, or form.


Posted by Akridrot on May-20-2008 05:06:

quote:
Originally posted by gehzumteufel
I am not saying you ever said or implied they were like that. I was merely asking a question based on your response to the op's question. In light of this new information though, I really wonder what transpired for you to have evolved into this personality that has an ocd-like hate for touch in almost any way, shape, or form.


So do I. I think about my past a lot, and I have a few good theories, but there's no way to be sure which are correct, since I'm no professional. What I've posted only scratches the surface, but that's as far as I'll go (with anyone, I guess).


Posted by gehzumteufel on May-20-2008 05:12:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
So do I. I think about my past a lot, and I have a few good theories, but there's no way to be sure which are correct, since I'm no professional. What I've posted only scratches the surface, but that's as far as I'll go (with anyone, I guess).

Interesting.


Posted by Lomeli on May-20-2008 05:47:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
Physical contact? I guess I'm weird when it comes to physical contact. Very weird. Is there anyone else out there who's similar to me when it comes to being touched? I'll post a few key points

This is me most of the time: =|

- I don't like being hugged or touched by my mother, sister or any other family members. Nobody. I always push them away. Always. Not even my little baby cousin, even though he's like 3 or 4 (don't know) and always calls my name when I pass him.

- When female acquaintances try to hug me, I never open my arms, I just stay still until they stop. Expression is still: =|

- Even girls I like don't elicit much reaction when they hug me. Weird thing is, when they're really emotional (happy or sad) that makes me not like it. It has to be nonchalant for me to even tolerate it. Sometimes I wonder if it's not the girl I like, but just her looks.

- My guy friends usually nod when I pass by, but I hate shaking hands or doing that fist thing or patting shoulders. I just don't like it and I would rather just say hi or bye.

- I don't like hugging up during sex, just penetration (doggy style) is all I want. My expression is still: =| (Yes, I have actually had sex, which is quite surprising.)

- After sex, I HATE being touched. I hate cuddling, kissing, or anything after I orgasm. I am absolutely serious when I say that I just want to leave and never see her again until I want sex.

- When people touch my hands during training, there's always a strange sexual connotation to it in my mind.

- I am extremely stoic when it comes to fighting. People have punched me dead in the face with not a single flinch from me. I don't even have that stone-faced angry look, I'm just like a statue. I don't feel much unless you hit the right spots (like my trainer did when showing me how to knee people. ouch.)

My mother told me repeatedly that I never liked to be breastfed or held as a child, that I always turned away. She told me she just gave up and fed me from the bottle or left me in my crib.

When I was young, I didn't playfight much. Didn't hug much either. Nobody really got physical with me except for real fighting, and sex (when I got older).



Posted by Lomeli on May-20-2008 05:49:

quote:
Originally posted by Akridrot
I think about my past a lot


That seems to be a problem that a lot of people have. You need to let go of excess baggage.


Posted by gehzumteufel on May-20-2008 05:52:

quote:
Originally posted by Lomeli
That seems to be a problem that a lot of people have. You need to let go of excess baggage.

You're mistaken here. Thinking about the past is not holding onto excess baggage. Allowing the past to rule your life is. Using the past as a way to learn from your mistakes, understand what you did and why, and just bettering yourself from your decisions is good.


Posted by Lomeli on May-20-2008 05:59:

I assumed he was dwelling on something from his past, that's why I brought it up.


Posted by aNYthing on May-20-2008 06:01:

I have my moments - I think it has to do with self esteem. I am not big on being cuddled, but I do enjoy physical contact with others. I also have this thing - I can't stand when something is blocking my hearing. Any contact if my ears are as much as touched I try to ensure my hearing is unobstructed. I also don't like when someone touches my hair - must be from days when I used to gel my hair all the time. Having someone touch my hair either made me feel like my hairdo was beign messed up or someone was gonna have sticky hands (which immediately made me feel like it were my own hands that were sticky). I guess I'm a bit OCD that way...

quote:
Originally posted by Arbiter
Of course being surrounded exclusively by people I hated probably overshadowed the ancillary effect of not having much physical contact with anyone.


wait, does that actually mean that there are people you DON'T hate?


Posted by gehzumteufel on May-20-2008 06:03:

quote:
Originally posted by Lomeli
I assumed he was dwelling on something from his past, that's why I brought it up.

my bad.


Posted by Fledz on May-20-2008 07:00:

I love physical contact, especially being from a culture where it's encouraged.

It's great heading out and getting a kiss and/or a hug from a girl or just a simple handshake from a guy. It just gives you a sense of belonging to something and gives you the feeling that you're not alone. Nothing worse and more awkward for me than seeing a group of people where everyone kind of just does that awkward hi and clumsy wave because they are afraid of expressing themselves a bit. Hence why I like the Euro and South American cultures a lot more as they are more open to it and it's great.

Affection is awesome when it's wanted.


Posted by spiflicated on May-20-2008 07:30:

touching is great unless you're the head of state


Posted by tubularbills on May-20-2008 11:08:

HUGE Need....and when it is satisfied, its such a wonderful feeling. there's nothing quite like just feeling someone close to you...whether it be sitting next to each other on the couch, totally non-sexual; or cuddling afterwards (THAT'S RIGHT I CUDDLE AFTERWARDS FUCK YOU).

its just a nice feeling to feel someone so close...feeling them breathe, their heartbeat, all that good stuff.

yeah, its nice


Posted by Fledz on May-20-2008 11:23:

I approve of cuddling too

Oh shit....I can't believe I just said that...




..FUCK YOU!


Posted by tubularbills on May-20-2008 11:32:

wanna mancuddle fledz? don't worry its not gay or anything. its just satisfying a physical need!


Posted by Fledz on May-20-2008 11:40:

Oh yea sure man, in a totally non-gay man loving kind of way. As long as I get to be on top....

You're coming over here though. I'm not wasting money on yet another plane ticket.


Posted by Meat187 on May-20-2008 12:15:

quote:
You know it's easy being someone you feel close to when you feel close to someone who's so close.


Posted by Lira on May-20-2008 12:30:

Although I'm a really friendly person, and live in a culture where touching is strongly encouraged, I'm not like that at all. I think got used to hugging people when I greet them just because some female friends were deeply offended when I didn't do it, but I'm much more comfortable just nodding


Posted by Silky Johnson on May-20-2008 12:43:

Yeah I used to be quite put off by hugging people...I mean, physical contact doesn't bother me, but I'm pretty reserved when it comes to intimacy with people outside of my personal zone.


Posted by noikeee on May-20-2008 12:54:

I'm hardly as extreme as Akridot, but sometimes have a tendency to think of physical contact as uncomfortable or awkward. Hugging doesn't really seem very natural to me. I guess it's just a manifestation of my introverted personality.


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