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-- Sexist Joke Thread
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Why don't women need a watch?
There's a clock on the stove.
What do you do when the dish washer is broken?
Slap her on the ass and tell her to get to work
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| Originally posted by GTS3gEclipse I can't believe no1 has said these yet... Why don't women wear watches? There's a clock on the stove. Why don't women need a drivers license? There's no road between the bedroom and the kitchen. How many men does it take to open a beer? None, it should be open when she gives it to you. What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant. |
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, you already told her twice.
i have a funny picture on my hd at work. it's a bunch of feminists protesting and there's a dude in the back holding up a poster that says, "IRON MY SHIRT BITCH".
lol
i'm sure someone has it or knows about it.
FUCK BITCHES
Two men are driving down the street when they see a dog on the side of the road licking his bits.
"I sure wish I could do that," said one guy. To which the other replied,
"Don't you think you ought to pat him first??"
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| Originally posted by Ian how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? 2. Ania to change it and Theresa to talk to us about how opressed they are. |
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| Originally posted by jonas What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice |
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| Originally posted by 72hrpartyanimal How many feminist does it take to change a light bulb? 11! 1 to change the bulb and the other 10 can suck my dick!!! |
lulz
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? - None, they just sit in the dark and whine about it
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| Originally posted by nefardec OOOOHHHH YEAHHH! NICE ONE BRUV!!! |
lol these are awesome, post more!
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| Originally posted by Renzo |
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| Originally posted by Renzo lulz |
Lol fuck I reposted a joke. FUCK.
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| Originally posted by jennypie Lol fuck I reposted a joke. FUCK. |
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| Originally posted by Ian how many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? 2. Ania to change it and Theresa to talk to us about how opressed they are. |
son asks dad: "dad, what does a woman's vagina look like?"
dad: "son, before sex, it looks like a stunningly beautiful rose with morning dew on it."
son: "what about after sex?"
dad: "son, have you seen a bulldog that just ate a jar of mayonaise?"
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redneck is driving with his wife in a pouring rain. his wife spots a shrivveling skunk on the side of the road. "Stop! Stop!" she yells. The husband slams on his pickup truck's breaks and brings it to a stop. Woman jumps out, grabs the skunk, brings him into the pickup.
H: "why did you pick him up?",
W: "oh hon, he was gonna die out there. I HAD TO SAVE HIM
H: "well, allrigh"
W: "But hon, where should I put him?"
H: "I dunno. stick him in the back"
W: "No, he may fall out or get hurt"
H: "Shit, I dunno! Put him between your legs then!"
W: "But hun! what about the smell????"
H: "Fuck woman, do I have to figure out everything? Simple - just cover his nose!"
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| Originally posted by jennypie Lol fuck I reposted a joke. FUCK. |
A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says "what seems to be the problem officer?" the cop looks bluntly at him and says "are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?" the man let out a sigh "thank fuck for that i thought i had gone deaf!"
Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn't need cleaning yet
Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.
How do you blind a woman?
Put a windshield in front of her.
Adam and Eve are relaxing on the beach. Eve wonders into the ocean and starts rinsing up. Adam scoffs: "That's fucking great! Now the fish will smell like it too!"
God creates Adam but sees that he's bored. He asks Adam "Hey Adam, I see you're bored and lonely. What do you say if I took one of your eyes but gave you a mate that was perfect in every way, great companion, terrific friend, everything you always wanted but never knew?" Adam (after pondering for a bit) - "An eye you say? I dunno... What can I get for a rib?"
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| Originally posted by malek no wonder, you're a "woman" |
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| Originally posted by aNYthing Why haven't any women ever gone to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning yet |
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| Originally posted by iammesol My God |
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