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-- Life and Relationships - Dreams and Love
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I think on average people want to find love, and that is of course part of life's dreams.

However, there are other dreams too... or I would assume that most peoples dreams involve more than just love.

The directions in which you choose to take your life need to coincide with your partner if your relationship is to work.

Therefore, person A and person B need to find a compromise that will make both of them happy, right?

But what if person B is not willing to travel at all. Doesn't want anything to do with living in another country, and has no interest in partaking in person A's adventuring. However, person A really feels they need that in their life in order to feel content.

On the other hand, person A is willing to compromise and once traveled for a few years will be more than happy to settle down, buy a house, have kids etc. etc. They just need to travel for a few years first and get it out of their system.

Does person A give up their dreams to travel and just stay with person B because they love them and want to be with them? Or should they follow their dreams and take the chance of losing person B??

Jenny - I was thinking that too... I mean, if one person chooses not to follow their dreams for the sake of staying with the other, I would guess that resentment would be developed and thus later cause relationship issues.

Cetra� - person B wants a house, kids, a stable job, etc. All of which is nice, and person A wants too, but only after person A has had the chance to be free and wander the world for a while. Person A has considered what person B wants, and appreciates it for what it is. However, that does not erase the fact the ultimately, person A wants more than that.

kadomony - I don't see how being monogamous is an issue for person A. Being adventurous and wanting excitement does not necessarily mean that person A is unable to commit.

Fibonacci - person A wants to teach overseas for a year or so. Person B may compromise far enough to go to an all-inclusive resort for a couple of weeks a year. However, they have no qualms finding common ground in other areas of the relationship.

Now, I understand and will completely agree that people are not rocks, and things can most certainly change, however, is it wise to stay together based simply on the hope that one or the other will change? I don't really think so.

I feel like I'm trapped back at home with my mother and my two sisters, locked in some sort of diabolical estrogen fuelled torture chamber.

This thread is horrible, just horrible.

quote:

Originally posted by Beat Blog I feel like I'm trapped back at home with my mother and my two sisters, locked in some sort of diabolic estrogen fuelled torture chamber. This thread is horrible, just horrible.

dreams

quote:

Originally posted by aNYthing To answer your question: Yes, let him take you up the Hershey highway. After all, it's all about butthole pleasures.

LMFAO!

OK I was just HOPING to help.

Seems to me like most people would rather enjoy watching person A whooping person Bs ass and person B whooping person As ass! Isn't that how your brains are being moulded and isn't that what being taught in your soicety ? Like wouldn't you pay money to watch that or bet money on it to win and feed your four unborn kids.

Take a break! If you knew what UNDERSTANDING in a relationship means, then you wouldn't get curious with pre high school bullshit!

Common now, I wanna see some stunt bikes flying over your head! I'm pretty sure your four wild unborn kids in the house would enjoy this as much as I would

heh

quote:

Originally posted by Axer ..CDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

What happened to L?

Oh, and it's all about finding someone who wants to buy a house with you AND is willing to travel. Alaska, here we come!

The moderator deleted it after I posted. LOL

this is a reply

it's simple really. person A needs to find someone like person A and person B needs to find someone like Person B.

opposites attract, but don't usually end up together in the long run.

Jesus! I'm goin' thru da same shit, B. It's like dis. Check it.

Person A wants a tuna sanwich. C wants a meatball, D wants a grilled cheeze. If person A truly cared about D, they'd slap the cheddar up between that wheat. C can't be alone. NO. C can.not.be. alone. Ok, so. A & D try to make C vegan. You know, to cut out those meatballs. The C realizes, Yes! fish do have feelin's. A & D are just bitches. So they all just went out for a strawberry soy shake. Ya dig?

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa go to an all-inclusive resort for a couple of weeks a year.

I don't know how but you've managed to take something as exciting as an exotic vacation and made it sound like the lamest thing I've ever heard.

If both parties truely love each other then they would be less concerned with their own desires and more concerned with the other's... they would be less concerned with pleasing themselves and more concerned with pleasing their partner. If they really love each other they will find a way to compromise... unwillingness on the part of either party to compromise should be a powerful indication that what they feel is not love.

Theresa - read John Demartini's "Heart of Love". He gives some great insight about love and ten relationship myths.

I have a couple of friends going through a similar situation as the one described. They're married - he wants to travel the world, she wants to settle down and have kids. It's a tough one, especially as they are that far into the relationship.

Love and dreams are not mutually exclusive.

Feck this is a good coffee conversation topic and I'm too lazy to type up the rest of my thoughts so I will only say that there can be win-win provided both are willing to see beyond their own desires to get there. If that's not possible then I will copy and paste the immortal words of the great Mariah Carey to explain...

Spread your wings and prepare to fly
For you have become a butterfly
Fly abandonedly into the sun
If you should return to me
We truly were meant to be
So spread your wings and fly
Butterfly

Yeah!

Learn to take it out on music. It's more expressive.

this thread has vagina written all over it..

what guy actually contimplates love vs dreams...?

Re: Life and Relationships - Dreams and Love

�O�O�O�@I do. But, I'm a lesbian guy

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa Do you give up what you want, your life desires, to be with the one you love, or do you make the choice to follow your dreams and lose someone you care about?

I've just chosen the latter. My girlfriend is going to Japan, and I could go along with her, but I felt miserable just to think of going there and leaving my current projects behind.

Although, I must admit, I'm naturally moody, and we have been on the brink of breaking up way too many times this year.

quote:

Originally posted by Zewad this thread has vagina written all over it.. what guy actually contimplates love vs dreams...?

fags

life is about compromises...if you are polar opposites then it might not work but later on in life you might both want the same things so i don't suggest ending something just because one person wants to hike through india and the other wants a home in indiana.

quote:

Originally posted by chimera66 life is about compromises...if you are polar opposites then it might not work but later on in life you might both want the same things so i don't suggest ending something just because one person wants to hike through india and the other wants a home in indiana.

I'm sorry but nobody is worth moving to Indiana for... NOBODY.

quote:

Originally posted by chimera66 life is about compromises...if you are polar opposites then it might not work but later on in life you might both want the same things so i don't suggest ending something just because one person wants to hike through india and the other wants a home in indiana.

compromise = LOSE.

quote:

Originally posted by Theresa I think on average people want to find love, and that is of course part of life's dreams. However, there are other dreams too... or I would assume that most peoples dreams involve more than just love. The directions in which you choose to take your life need to coincide with your partner if your relationship is to work. Therefore, person A and person B need to find a compromise that will make both of them happy, right? But what if person B is not willing to travel at all. Doesn't want anything to do with living in another country, and has no interest in partaking in person A's adventuring. However, person A really feels they need that in their life in order to feel content. On the other hand, person A is willing to compromise and once traveled for a few years will be more than happy to settle down, buy a house, have kids etc. etc. They just need to travel for a few years first and get it out of their system. Does person A give up their dreams to travel and just stay with person B because they love them and want to be with them? Or should they follow their dreams and take the chance of losing person B?? Jenny - I was thinking that too... I mean, if one person chooses not to follow their dreams for the sake of staying with the other, I would guess that resentment would be developed and thus later cause relationship issues. Cetra� - person B wants a house, kids, a stable job, etc. All of which is nice, and person A wants too, but only after person A has had the chance to be free and wander the world for a while. Person A has considered what person B wants, and appreciates it for what it is. However, that does not erase the fact the ultimately, person A wants more than that. kadomony - I don't see how being monogamous is an issue for person A. Being adventurous and wanting excitement does not necessarily mean that person A is unable to commit. Fibonacci - person A wants to teach overseas for a year or so. Person B may compromise far enough to go to an all-inclusive resort for a couple of weeks a year. However, they have no qualms finding common ground in other areas of the relationship. Now, I understand and will completely agree that people are not rocks, and things can most certainly change, however, is it wise to stay together based simply on the hope that one or the other will change? I don't really think so.

Theresa,

The key is compromise. asking someone to take a trip once a year (even an extended one ie 3-4 weeks) isnt hard to accomodate, but asking someone to move to another country and possibly put a career on hold is another.

My gf and i are at two different points in our lives and it requires alot of patience and compromise to keep it working. She is still in school and im working full time. We both like to travel but because of my career i cant just pick up and leave for 2 years on a round the world excursion, not to mention its because of my career that we can go on a big trip once or twice a year. If i put my career on pause for a year to go live abroad i would be paying for it financially for a long time.

See if you can get person B (and i think i know who B is) to start out with a nice simple vacay (tropical....) and see if you can work it up to a nice exotic adventure ever year or every other year. lets face it travelling is expensive. I managed to blow a week's pay (1500 abo) in london england in one night out........ (but boy was it fun...)

on the other front, me being 26 almost, i am finding im now looking at possibly doing the whole house thing, and within the next 5-6 years maybe kids too, but my gf has no interest in that concept for a while, so i have to put that aspect of my life on hold until she is ready. as long as i am still getting copious amounts of sex and the odd road cone on trips, i can deal.

the only way you can have 100% of your dreams and love (puke) you would have to date yourself, which would suck, especially in the sac since you would only be fucking yourself.

relationships are a two way street and you have to meet at the centerline at some point. kick some ass and take some names and you will ge there eventually


ninja edit aparently "C0untry" is a bad word

quote:

Originally posted by Slylee fags

agreed... now look how many males responded in this thread

You only regret the things u didn't do when lying on your death bed. Don't settle and do what feels right, not what seems safe.

quote:

Originally posted by nefardec dreams

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