Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

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-- Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.
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Posted by _Nut_ on Aug-27-2008 21:53:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
if they touched each other, would it be gehy?

Good question. I guess Jenny's `cock 2 cock` for life would have literal meaning then...

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 21:58:

quote:
Originally posted by _Nut_
Good question. I guess Jenny's `cock 2 cock` for life would have literal meaning then...

so, would these cocks be side by side? or one on "top" of the other?

i'm literally looking at my wang, and thinking, ""

Posted by _Nut_ on Aug-27-2008 22:02:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
so, would these cocks be side by side? or one on "top" of the other?

i'm literally looking at my wang, and thinking, ""

Who said they have to be by each other? I want them on my forearms.

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-27-2008 22:03:

quote:
Originally posted by _Nut_
Who said they have to be by each other? I want them on my forearms.

Posted by whiskers on Aug-27-2008 22:09:

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
At least it wasn't blood...

...period blood.

thanks to goatse, the GIS for "rejected anus bleeding" was not that traumatic. now, back to dinner.

Posted by woscar on Aug-27-2008 22:40:

Posted by jayxthekoolest on Aug-27-2008 23:02:

quote:
Originally posted by whiskers

thanks to goatse, the GIS for "rejected anus bleeding" was not that traumatic. now, back to dinner.

It would be quite unfortunate if your anus started bleeding after you started masturbating.

Posted by Gen3r4l1ty on Aug-27-2008 23:16:

quote:
Originally posted by jayxthekoolest
It would be quite awesome if your anus started bleeding after you started masturbating.
fixed imo

Posted by Moongoose on Aug-27-2008 23:58:

Posted by r5a on Aug-28-2008 00:59:

That is a great signature, Moongoose.

Posted by Allied Nations on Aug-28-2008 01:05:

quote:
Originally posted by StanVoid
shoulda used skype.

because how much funnier would this have been if someone was watching!

Posted by Project-K on Aug-28-2008 01:26:

quote:
Originally posted by _Nut_
Stereo penises

Damn my visual imagination. I totally just pictured the penis equivalent of a red/white RCA adaptor.

Posted by Lira on Aug-28-2008 03:11:

quote:
Originally posted by tubularbills
can you imagine having two?

It's not as exciting as it sounds [Obviously NSFW]

Posted by jayxthekoolest on Aug-28-2008 03:13:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
It's not as exciting as it sounds [Obviously NSFW]

having three testicles would be much better

Posted by tubularbills on Aug-28-2008 03:22:

quote:
Originally posted by Lira
It's not as exciting as it sounds [Obviously NSFW]

Posted by whiskers on Aug-28-2008 04:52:

you could have two vaginas

http://selfhelpcenter.blogspot.com/...wo-vaginas.html

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepag...ticle344794.ece

Posted by Domesticated on Aug-28-2008 05:58:

Taking matters into your own hand when you're really sick is basically the only pleasurable part of the day.

Posted by blacknoizybox on Aug-28-2008 06:37:

Re: Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

quote:
Originally posted by r5a
Learned the hard way. I decided since I was bored I would jerk off to teens in erotic positions in their underwear.

i got it about you watching teens...

..who did you steal the underwear from and what erotic positions did you take?

Posted by r5a on Aug-28-2008 07:13:

Re: Re: Jesus christ. jerking off + being sick is a bad idea.

quote:
Originally posted by blacknoizybox
i got it about you watching teens...

..who did you steal the underwear from and what erotic positions did you take?
This post doesn't make any sense.

Teenplanet to get things on the ball, warming up with a little softcore action to get me horny and then follow it up with realitykings for the finisher.

Posted by blacknoizybox on Aug-28-2008 07:42:

man you take so long to warm up for a wank???

Posted by r5a on Aug-28-2008 08:14:

quote:
Originally posted by blacknoizybox
man you take so long to warm up for a wank???
I am trying to build endurance by stretching out my wank. In the process I am self-cockteasing myself, it's kind of bad.

Let's hope in the long run it will pay off.

Posted by Lira on Aug-28-2008 17:30:

quote:
Originally posted by Beat Blog

Taking matters into your own hand when you're really sick is basically the only pleasurable part of the day.

Actually, having the full thing while you're sick is even better. Sure, you've got to let the girl do all the job (and hope you won't sneeze on her ), but it's worth it.

Posted by iammesol on Aug-28-2008 17:54:

quote:
Originally posted by kadomony
actually i enjoy masturbating when i have the flu.
the lightheadedness gives extra pleasure during orgasm.

Posted by bas on Aug-29-2008 06:48:

quote:
Originally posted by l�cid

Posted by Spacey Orange on Aug-29-2008 09:29:

quote:
Originally posted by r5a
I have an inferiority complex to some of the popular TA COR fellows of their stories and life styles. Thus, this makes me withdrawal into public humiliation of myself in order to try and win prestige points and make friends.

well that explains these:

quote:
Originally posted by wwu.punisher
My wife and I went out to lunch with a friend of mine today. He brought his kid so that his wife, who has a cold, could get some sleep. The kid is just barely three years old. We decided that pizza would be a good choice so we headed out to the local parlor.

We ordered a 16" pizza with split toppings, a family size Caesar salad, three sodas, and juice for the kid. The waitress bought us our drinks a few minutes later and the kid looked at his dad and said, "Why didn't I get soda?" His dad responded, "Because."

The kid's retort?

"That's not a good answer."

I, thinking that I could help, told him, "The sugar in soda isn't good for you, little guy."

I don't think anyone in the immediate vicinity would have ever expected in a million years to hear what the little bastard said to me next.

"I'm not little. And I was talking to my dad, doo-doo head, not you. If I wanted you to talk, I would have talked to you."

I repeat - he is just barely three years old.

The man sitting with his wife at the booth across from ours sprayed the water he was drinking everywhere, his wife cried from laughing so hard, my wife damn near fell out of her seat, the kid's dad sat there staring with his mouth open in utter disbelief, and I turned five or six shades of red.

So, like I said: I got pwned by a three year old.

quote:
Originally posted by squirrelly
Good God I am an idiot. I went to starbucks with my friend, sat there for two hours talking... and then when we got ready to leave, I went to my car and realized I had left my keys, IN MY CAR, WITH THE CAR RUNNING.

And I have two spares, one I gave to my mom, one I carry in my purse, but of course yesterday I threw my purse in my car, my key flew out, and I decided I'd find it later.

My friend (nicely) drove to my moms work in traffic and got my key (which took two hours).

I'm all buzzed on coffee and stressed and pissed at myself.

FOUR HOURS OF GAS WASTED.

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